saffarinda wrote:I think Dan is attracted to men and women, but him using men and women in this video didn't "confirm" it any further for me. In the same way that if a gay guy did the exact same video, but had women, it wouldn't confirm to me that he's clearly straight/any sexuality that isn't 100% straight.
I know this is your opinion and you didn't mean to do this, but this really saddens me because I know this is a mindset that a lot of people will have and they will continue to think Dan is straight. It's just plain sad. I feel like Dan is trying to be obvious about his sexuality because he doesn't want to make a definitive statement (i.e. a coming out video). It makes perfect sense why he wouldn't want to: he would feel like he was asking for attention, he would feel like it's crossing personal boundaries, and thats not the usual content that goes on his channel or even happens in his liveshows. It would be awful to make assumptions about him, but there's a point where the signs are so clear (as clear as even explicitly STATING HIS SEXUALITY a long tome ago, but whatever) and so obviously there that NOT thinking he's not straight is just sort of...blind. it's heteronormative, is what it is.
Now I'm rambling, but I liked the video! It was a bit heavy on the self-deprecating humor but I don't expect anything else from Dan at this point. I liked the "all-black outfit" bit, I actually chuckled. I don't mind if it's all made up, but I don't think it is.
I think next weeks live show is going to be interesting. He's obviously going to talk about the video and I wouldn't be surprised if he got comments about including men and women in the video (maybe even premium comments if the shit storm is big enough but I avoid the phandom so idk) and talked abut it there. I would be interested to hear him relate it back to Yuri On Ice/queerbaiting because that really did feel like a thought unfinished. If Dan ever did wish to talk more candidly about sexuality, I would love a DINI video on a topic like this. I don't think a live show is the right place at all.
Dans not straight - I'm wholeheartedly 100% convinced that Daniel Howell is not a heterosexual man, I don't understand what more he can do to make it obvious. It's pretty sad that when you're LGBT you have to constantly prove yourself? Less so for L or G because they're monosexual identities and absolute, but if you're bi or pan or ace or anything that isn't heterosexual/homosexual you have to always provide evidence, and even then it's not good enough. I can't count the amount of times I've been told to 'pick a side' etc, I even got bullied for being a lesbian when I had a boyfriend!? Ugh.
I'm rambling but basically sexuality and heteronormativity is a subject i'm really passionate about and I love projecting everything I feel onto Mr Howell. (soz)
I am pleasantly surprised that I liked the video more than I thought. I'm really digging the message board in the background and the little messages, it's a nice touch. He looks absolutely lovely in that shirt I love it so much! Love the idea of a "social experiment", done before perhaps but still interesting. I'll rewatch a couple of times maybe.
I would have probably liked it either way because Dan's content is interesting and engaging to me, self-deprecating and relatable branding included, always has actually.
I'm not that comfortable talking about sexuality (I understand my privilege in that aspect as a straight woman), but I can't imagine it being easy to put pieces of yourself out to the world and have people completely erase them. I will never give him a label because it's clear he doesn't like them.
(I'm way off topic probably but I didn't have a chance to say this before)
"Treat yourself, because you're special and you're worth it."
sparkle wrote:
I think next weeks live show is going to be interesting. He's obviously going to talk about the video and I wouldn't be surprised if he got comments about including men and women in the video (maybe even premium comments if the shit storm is big enough but I avoid the phandom so idk) and talked abut it there. I would be interested to hear him relate it back to Yuri On Ice/queerbaiting because that really did feel like a thought unfinished. If Dan ever did wish to talk more candidly about sexuality, I would love a DINI video on a topic like this. I don't think a live show is the right place at all.
That makes me wonder - and idk if anyone knows the answer - how other "corners" of the phandom are reacting? I mean, the vibe here is pretty civil, we focus on certain topics more than others, and even excitement and other strong emotions are expressed in an articulate way, but I know that other places have different ways of behaving and expressing themselves. I'm not really active on other platforms (tumblr, twitter, etc.) but especially with the male cameos, are other corners having different reactions than the ones seen here? I'm curious about it, but not really keen on digging into platforms I'm not involved on.
this will get lost bc it's on the last page but here is the thing:
we tend to try to force sexuality to be the primary identifier on the lads - i think it's actually a cultural problem all around tbh. people are infinitely more than their sexualities and plenty of people don't consider that to be a key part of their identity. i sure as hecky don't. wow i am so much more than who arouses me, thank god! we all are! i think this obsession with the sexual identity of others is not at all healthy - if i were dan, especially, i would be devastated feeling like my audience only cared about that aspect of who i was in singularity. dan contains multitudes! we all do!
as adults, we should be able to think more deeply and complexly about other humans. romantic feelings and sexuality are not inherently tied together either, but that is a whole other rant 4 another day
(fan since 2010, super active on GG back in 2015 (i stand by it being the most uplifting, loving community i have ever been a part of), tried to be a casual fan again so i could focus on grad school, dan stan 4 life, this will probs be my only post on here)
iero wrote:
i don't need verbal conformation of him not being straight because i personally believe he's made it pretty clear, however i think this tweet is very close to one. it just really struck out to me idk..like he chose to reply to that tweet and he didn't deny it, and instead of ignoring he played along
there you go i shouldve just reposted this tweet instead of commenting weirdly incidental is the way to go about sexuality for me im not a fan of it being the defining attribute of personality personally (not that it shouldnt be for anyone that wants to be overt for themselves or the comnunity yno)
I spent so many years hiding who I was completely - to everyone except my husband - that to me finding the right labels - non-binary and pan - and embracing them was extremely freeing. Now I do all sort of things to my appearance that tries to balance what is perceived as masculine and feminine like having one hand with short nails with peeling black nail polish and one with long well manicured nails and also having short turqoise hair, piercings and tattooes on an otherwise feminine form. I'm also fiercely out and non-apologetic. It's what grounds me and keeps things bearable for me personally. My gender and sexuality is huge part of who I am, perhaps especially because I hid it for so long. The need to express it has grown so much stronger.
But someone who chooses to do the opposite, who doesn't find a comfort in labels, will always have my respect too. We're all queer in different ways and have different needs. I especially take my hat of to Dan for doing it so casually, because it shouldn't be such a huge deal. I wish it hadn't felt like a huge deal to me. What he's doing hopefully helps a little bit to change that.
iero wrote:
i don't need verbal conformation of him not being straight because i personally believe he's made it pretty clear, however i think this tweet is very close to one. it just really struck out to me idk..like he chose to reply to that tweet and he didn't deny it, and instead of ignoring he played along
there you go i shouldve just reposted this tweet instead of commenting weirdly incidental is the way to go about sexuality for me im not a fan of it being the defining attribute of personality personally (not that it shouldnt be for anyone that wants to be overt for themselves or the comnunity yno)
I spent so many years hiding who I was completely - to everyone except my husband - that to me finding the right labels - non-binary and pan - and embracing them was extremely freeing. Now I do all sort of things to my appearance that tries to balance what is perceived as masculine and feminine like having one hand with short nails with peeling black nail polish and one with long well manicured nails and also having short turqoise hair, piercings and tattooes on an otherwise feminine form. I'm also fiercely out and non-apologetic. It's what grounds me and keeps things bearable for me personally. My gender and sexuality is huge part of who I am, perhaps especially because I hid it for so long. The need to express it has grown so much stronger.
But someone who chooses to do the opposite, who doesn't find a comfort in labels, will always have my respect too. We're all queer in different ways and have different needs. I especially take my hat of to Dan for doing it so casually, because it shouldn't be such a huge deal. I wish it hadn't felt like a huge deal to me. What he's doing hopefully helps a little bit to change that.
This was lovely to read Something Ill say is that people still think Joey Graceffa is straight and is pretending to have a boyfriend. It's gonna be a long road for Dan and the fans on accepting his words about his sexuality. He has been doing it for a long time though, and even if I was shocked about him putting male and female preference initially, it shouldn't have been a big deal. He's been coming out in a very understated way because, under all the dramatics that Dan represents, he still recognized the importance of this and made sure to do it in a way that it doesn't cause a meltdown yet gets a firm message across. If he wants to define as bi (which is probably the case) or not, time will tell. Right now I'm just appreciating the fact that alot of the fans didn't automatically link Dan's sexuality to the concept of him and phil being together or phils sexuality as many people feared.
dan howell gives me life 
