Dan & Phil Part 50: Should we kiss now?

[lefthandedism]

im not going to mention dans sexuality ~~reveal~~ aside from this vague post because at this point i really cannot ignore the way that he shut down mentioning his bisexuality when he started to get more well known. in 2011 he could talk about having crushes on male fictional characters on tumblr and nobody cared. go forward a year and suddenly every slightly not 100% hetero comment he made got a load of attention drawn to it. "OH MY GOD does dan like boooooooys does he like phil omg are they together he is so BI IM SCREAMING" shit, plus the invasion of privacy that comes with any queer male making non sexual comments about attraction because people feel much more comfortable describing the private sexual lives of queer men when they wouldnt go into so much detail about anyone else.

basically theres a very clear link between him suddenly going quiet about sexuality mentions and the time when people started paying so much attention to it so whether or not the all caps comments under the video or on tumblr are meant to be nice, i just dont like them

People here have made comments like this a few times, and comments about fetishizing m/m sex--which I think is the same idea--and I'm wondering if you jaej or anyone could say more about that. That is, I think I know what you mean but then I'm not very sure--how do we know it's fetishized?

Obviously, I'm not a queer man, so I don't have any sort of direct experience.

one way it comes up that happens not EXCLUSIVELY with m/m sexual relationships but does happen sooo much more and with much less backlash is just the presumptions people make or how comfortable they are talking about another persons possible sex life. there aren't many straight male or female youtubers who would have people here or on similar boards discussing what they're like in bed, how much sex you think they had last night, anything like that. it would be called out as creepy or gross if you talked about another youtube couple, like people believe dan and phil are, talking graphically about their sex. they make jokes about sex and stuff in videos, yes, but that isn't the same as the way queer male sex is talked about. it's something which has a really terrible history, is still illegal in so many places, but even where it isn't it isn't treated as equal to heterosexual sex because if it was, people would not feel so comfortable talking about these people, but they are because it's TWO MEN. it becomes a fun talking point because it's secretive and scandalous, but also because they're a COUPLE it's okay because then they're not dirty slutty gays sleeping around and passing on diseases.

basically queer male sexuality gets treated a lot either like straight male sexuality (i.e. no stigma, 'they can do what they want and no one stops men having sex!') or like something other people OWN and et to talk about for their enjoyment. it is by no means exclusive to here but happens a lot, which is upsetting given how many of us would consider ourself to be woke and stuff

(this is a bit messy because i'm not in a great place rn but i can try to explain things better if anyone asks )

Please do!

[karma_yeah]

Post-racial America? What is this thing you speak of?

LOL - "post-racial America" is a concept put forth by naive but well-intentioned optimists who suggested that somehow the election of Barak Obama (arguably the best president in the 20th century; even more so when compared to the orange treasonist we have now -- thanks a lot Putin) would magically erase hundreds of years of racial discrimination and violence, and that American society would somehow suddenly become color-blind.

Oh how I wish something that was true, but sadly I'm not sure such a society exists anywhere on the planet. Evolution - intellectual and moral, as well as biological - seems to be a painfully slow process. Personally I believe the "election" (if you can call it that) of DT, is partly racially motivated. A lot of his supporters are right wing racists who have been completely beside themselves for the last 8 years having a black man as their president. This was a chance to "win" and get "one of their own" in the White House. And boy have they! They've sold their souls (and our democracy) to the devil himself. If he has his way he will eliminate health care, public education, women's rights, any progress towards reversing climate change and we'll have to learn to speak Russian and count rubles. Please wake me from this nightmare . . .

[moaninglisa]

Another thing i want to point out is that people do seem to have double standards about when Dan is telling us truths about himself (subtly) and when he is lying.
He makes a spon vid for a dating app a couple of years ago: Obviously all fake ! Can't be true, he would never do it we can't believe a word of it.
He makes a spon vid for a dating app now: He kinda came out, him chatting with both men and women is a genuine reflection of who he is but obviously all the rest is a joke...
Do you think he's also so joking when he for example says (around 0:50) that's he's gonna give people they naked, ugly truth. which is coincidentally also what they would get if we hit it off in real life ? That would for example imply that he's still looking for dates/someone. And that's not the first time that they have alluded to occasionally having dates (there's a similar allusion in one of the undertale vids - to just stick to recent ones).

he's been hinting at being attracted to men since late 2014. that's almost three years worth of hinting. the vid had that reaction because it just reafirms what he's been saying for a while. and i think we can all understand that two or three throwaway comments he has made in three years that "suggest" he's single pale in comparison.
dan also has made comments about commitment, love and such that "suggest" he might be in a relationship and has avoided to relate any of his subscribers struggles with love to himself. how can this happen in the same timeline? ~the world may never know~
all i'm saying is these comments are very subjective and that people discard them and read them as "jokes" is understandable. because most of them aren't meant to be taken seriously. e.g: " I'm gonna go and masturbate, then cry into a slice of pizza ".
"dating might be kind of hard" might actually be the most solid proof of him hinting at being single and yet... it was left up in the air without any conclusion. we can only do what we know best which is filling in the gaps.
i can't say much about their dating app spon, besides what has already been said by confusedpanda

[jesuisunèléve]

Post-racial America? What is this thing you speak of?

LOL - "post-racial America" is a concept put forth by naive but well-intentioned optimists who suggested that somehow the election of Barak Obama (arguably the best president in the 20th century; even more so when compared to the orange treasonist we have now -- thanks a lot Putin) would magically erase hundreds of years of racial discrimination and violence, and that American society would somehow suddenly become color-blind.

Oh how I wish something that was true, but sadly I'm not sure such a society exists anywhere on the planet. Evolution - intellectual and moral, as well as biological - seems to be a painfully slow process. Personally I believe the "election" (if you can call it that) of DT, is partly racially motivated. A lot of his supporters are right wing racists who have been completely beside themselves for the last 8 years having a black man as their president. This was a chance to "win" and get "one of their own" in the White House. And boy have they! They've sold their souls (and our democracy) to the devil himself. If he has his way he will eliminate health care, public education, women's rights, any progress towards reversing climate change and we'll have to learn to speak Russian and count rubles. Please wake me from this nightmare . . .

The Devil is now associated with the color orange instead of red. Him and his orange offspring. Are they tangerines?

Anyway, I agree with you 100%. There's an article floating around from the other day about bullying in schools being based on Trump growing, like these kids are actually quoting Trump. WTF.

Then...there was the picture from today about the KKK member in dreadlocs. I swear to God would England come and get us, obviously we can't make it on our own...

[Moon]

Do you think Dan uploaded the pick up line scenes to tumblr, twitter and instagram so more people would definitely see that he chatted with men and women? I mean, the video's joke is to present the 'ugly, naked truth' of yourself to tinder so instead he could have uploaded the scene in which he creates his profile with the 'unflattering' pics and the bio, but he didn't. Imo it was funny too.
He didn't mention anything about the men/women situation in the video so I'm not sure whether he wants to give people a little sign about his sexuality with this or just found the other scenes funnier. (Although the clips really spoil the video, which stranger would still watch the video after seeing the chats on social media?) What do you think about his choice?
(I also don't get it why he he uploaded the whole video to facebook...)

[fondsmiles]

Anyway, tangent aside, I haven't seen this mentioned yet (if I missed a comment about it oops lol): I LOVE Dan's new video background. I love how he balanced the warm side with the digital fireplace and glowing conch shell... basket... thing, with the cool side, with the bonsai and unlit candles. It's very elemental and zen and so pleasant to look at.

you are so right! I haven't paid specific attention to it before, but now that you mention it, I really like his set up.
one thing I am not too fond of is maybe the digital fireplace, idk, i am a country kid and I shame people who have electronic replacement for the wonderful beauties of nature. that it is a warm feature works very well though.
I also like this message thingy in the background, the please love me, I hope he changes that up in different videos! that would be cool.
aaand the bonsai is sweet and stuff, but I am kind of wishing for something a bit bigger, directly at the right? there's so much white space. maybe a higher plant would work. or maybe a small picture, a photo, something like that. i don't know though, I am really bad at imagining things, he'd have to try.

I kind of want to see what the light bulb would like at the right side of the screen as well. maybe i am not that much into the contrast of warm-left and cold-right after all, hmm. I'd just like to know what it looks like I think.

[offtopic]I've seen this tweet on my timeline a couple times now about a person wishing for dan to handwrite "courage" and send them a picture, they want it as a tattoo. while I don't understand why they would want daniel's handwriting on their skin, I find things like this so sweet. thought i'd post it here for his lurking purposes and consideration.

[/offtopic]

[sparkle]

Question:

Has Dan denied any other sexuality than gay? Like that seems an interesting technicality, people are saying he's gay and asking questions and he can say he isn't gay. But that doesn't mean he doesn't like men.

[felucca]

(fun fact, I asked my current girlfriend out with a meme of Dan way back in 2014... when we get married I'm not not joking about sending him and Mr Phil an invite)

Lol Dan and Phil made me and my boyfriend break up, because I realised I was more interested in them than him. I should thank them for that tbh, and send them an invite to the wedding of me and my new boyfriend. Wingdan ftw.

But now I'm curious - which meme did you send?

I'm only 22 but I saw comments today like 'Phil made his first video when I was 1'... I was 10. I feel a little old?

I feel ya. I'm the same age as Phil, I could've started my own Youtube channel and been best buds with them now. Like we could start a daycare together and babysit their younger fans.

Question:

Has Dan denied any other sexuality than gay? Like that seems an interesting technicality, people are saying he's gay and asking questions and he can say he isn't gay. But that doesn't mean he doesn't like men.

Apparently I've stopped answering other people than you, sparkle.

Nope. Dan's denied being gay over and over again, but he's never denied any other sexuality - or said he's straight. (He insinuated being straight pretty hard a few times, but never took the actual word in his mouth.)

It's interesting to think that back in 2012, when he constantly read those "are you gay?" questions in the chat and answered them, A LOT of people would also ask if he was bi based on his old Formsprings, and yet he never answered those people but picked the gay questions each time.

Alright, off to rewatch the new video again - and a bunch of other recent Dan videos becuase I really haven't been paying attention lately and barely remember most of them.

[droopy]

Anyway, tangent aside, I haven't seen this mentioned yet (if I missed a comment about it oops lol): I LOVE Dan's new video background. I love how he balanced the warm side with the digital fireplace and glowing conch shell... basket... thing, with the cool side, with the bonsai and unlit candles. It's very elemental and zen and so pleasant to look at.

you are so right! I haven't paid specific attention to it before, but now that you mention it, I really like his set up.
one thing I am not too fond of is maybe the digital fireplace, idk, i am a country kid and I shame people who have electronic replacement for the wonderful beauties of nature. that it is a warm feature works very well though.
I also like this message thingy in the background, the please love me, I hope he changes that up in different videos! that would be cool.
aaand the bonsai is sweet and stuff, but I am kind of wishing for something a bit bigger, directly at the right? there's so much white space. maybe a higher plant would work. or maybe a small picture, a photo, something like that. i don't know though, I am really bad at imagining things, he'd have to try.

I kind of want to see what the light bulb would like at the right side of the screen as well. maybe i am not that much into the contrast of warm-left and cold-right after all, hmm. I'd just like to know what it looks like I think.

I'm 110% down with the warm-cool contrast, but I agree that there's a lot of empty space that could probably be filled. It doesn't need to be cluttered or anything, but like you said, there's a lot of white because of the blank walls. I'd be interested to see how it would look if he added some sort of wall decoration on each "side," as it were, that matched the warm-cool theme.

I think what I like more than anything is just the objects he's chosen, and the general atmosphere as a result gives really nice vibes. The contrast of the sides isn't the crux of it (for me), but I still really like it.

and lmao i feel you on the fireplace, if it doesn't have the smoky smell and can't roast marshmallows then it does nothing for me.

[uglyamerican]

A fireplace fueled by irony.

[malday]

Haha, i wonder if this is really the guy!

[SneakyLizard]

Haha, i wonder if this is really the guy!

A tiny, bitter, jaded part of me whispers "smaller, growing youtube channel... visibility...true or not, think of the VIEWS"

And then the more compassionate part of me thinks yeah, well if it is true isn't that a cool story you'd just want to share, though?

Dunno. I'm out of proper coffee and that may be affecting my mood and judgement. Instant is gross.

Interested to see how this story develops either way

[nøx]

Haha, i wonder if this is really the guy!

A tiny, bitter, jaded part of me whispers "smaller, growing youtube channel... visibility...true or not, think of the VIEWS"

And then the more compassionate part of me thinks yeah, well if it is true isn't that a cool story you'd just want to share, though?

I must admit I chuckled quite heartily when I saw that Aeron/Aaron also has a youtube channel...

[Catallena]

Haha, i wonder if this is really the guy!

A tiny, bitter, jaded part of me whispers "smaller, growing youtube channel... visibility...true or not, think of the VIEWS"

And then the more compassionate part of me thinks yeah, well if it is true isn't that a cool story you'd just want to share, though?

Dunno. I'm out of proper coffee and that may be affecting my mood and judgement. Instant is gross.

Interested to see how this story develops either way

It's cute that it was only a tiny part of you because my reaction upon reading that and then seeing he had a YouTube channel was immediately calling bullshit and I felt that with my entire soul. Years of watching people leeching of D&P does that to you (like seriously the first reply you see on Dan's tweet about the video last night is from Evan fucking Edinger) or I'm a bad person. Probably a bit of both actually.

Then again who the hell isn't trying to be a vlogger nowadays so it's plausible I guess.. Don't really get why you would use a different spelling on your name on Tinder than on the rest of your online presence but sure.

[000dia000]

Haha, i wonder if this is really the guy!

A tiny, bitter, jaded part of me whispers "smaller, growing youtube channel... visibility...true or not, think of the VIEWS"

And then the more compassionate part of me thinks yeah, well if it is true isn't that a cool story you'd just want to share, though?

Dunno. I'm out of proper coffee and that may be affecting my mood and judgement. Instant is gross.

Interested to see how this story develops either way

It's cute that it was only a tiny part of you because my reaction upon reading that and then seeing he had a YouTube channel was immediately calling bullshit and I felt that with my entire soul. Years of watching people leeching of D&P does that to you (like seriously the first reply you see on Dan's tweet about the video last night is from Evan fucking Edinger) or I'm a bad person. Probably a bit of both actually.

Then again who the hell isn't trying to be a vlogger nowadays so it's plausible I guess.. Don't really get why you would use a different spelling on your name on Tinder than on the rest of your online presence but sure.

He has about 1K subscribers, does that really constitute a person as a YouTuber? The average phan edit channel has more followers than that. Saying he's famous is a bit of a push, so I don't think he should really care about the spelling of his name for meeting people online.

[obscureDnPreference]

RE: Evan Edinger

Can someone explain to me how people feel about Evan and ? Do we like him or no? I read thing on the "who's who of D and P's friends" page but really don't have a read of y'all's opinions.

[applesauce]

hi just popping in to share something that has been on my mind recently

Since they are who they are, it must be difficult for dnp to keep memories to themselves. Once they send anything out there, the community often attaches their own meaning and often sentimentality to something, which can't help but change the way dnp see those memories or moments themselves. (Which leads to understandably special moments they keep to themselves and everyone thus wants to see).

There's often a la vie en rose kind of appropriation that can sometimes happen to moments in their own lives. I think most of us are guilty of at least a few times attaching some kind of meaning to something that reflected more our own states than the actual moment itself. You see often that something that may not mean that much to dnp themselves can get grasped and transformed by the audience. This must make it difficult at times for them to hold onto what is theirs, since so much of their lives, their relationship, their journey is out there for people to grasp onto. It makes me understand why they sometimes are so hesitant to open up more and more, because whatever they put out there, big or small, is really no longer theirs but rather possessed by a collective.

It must be hard to not sometimes feel like dolls being played by the community in their little dollhouse.

Which is why it struck me that in tabinof they said something to the effect of "do with this book what you will" and hold it in your hearts wherever you hold dnp. It seemed like they were aware of this phenomena.

idek what this is srry
I'm probably adding more meaning to this myself lol

[danklester]

Sorry to not add anything whatsoever to any sort of discussion but do we think there will be a ls tonight? Phil usually does Thursday.... right? Considering setting my alarm for 3am

[MythicalPinkTrashCan]

Theory:

Dan schedules his videos so that Phil has the first liveshow after and not him so Phil can be a buffer to the opinions/criticisms. I need to go back and see if this holds for more videos or if I'm just misremembering

[thephandommenace]

Hmmmmmm
Markiplier vid? New DAPG/AP/potential LessAmazingPhil?

Or even... their secret project that will be revealed in August???!

[Catallena]

Haha, i wonder if this is really the guy!

A tiny, bitter, jaded part of me whispers "smaller, growing youtube channel... visibility...true or not, think of the VIEWS"

And then the more compassionate part of me thinks yeah, well if it is true isn't that a cool story you'd just want to share, though?

Dunno. I'm out of proper coffee and that may be affecting my mood and judgement. Instant is gross.

Interested to see how this story develops either way

It's cute that it was only a tiny part of you because my reaction upon reading that and then seeing he had a YouTube channel was immediately calling bullshit and I felt that with my entire soul. Years of watching people leeching of D&P does that to you (like seriously the first reply you see on Dan's tweet about the video last night is from Evan fucking Edinger) or I'm a bad person. Probably a bit of both actually.

Then again who the hell isn't trying to be a vlogger nowadays so it's plausible I guess.. Don't really get why you would use a different spelling on your name on Tinder than on the rest of your online presence but sure.

He has about 1K subscribers, does that really constitute a person as a YouTuber? The average phan edit channel has more followers than that. Saying he's famous is a bit of a push, so I don't think he should really care about the spelling of his name for meeting people online.

Forgive me if I don't get your post because I'm tired as hell and it's hard to English rn, but I called him neither a 'YouTuber' nor famous? My dig at his mysteriously changing name was because I think it's a bit suspicious that a wannabe vlogger claims to be a person in Dan's video with the same name aside from spelling (unless it's a stage name in which case lmao calm down son). It's plausible that it is him, but it's a bit.. convenient to claim.

[sunshinias]

RE: Evan Edinger

Can someone explain to me how people feel about Evan and ? Do we like him or no? I read thing on the "who's who of D and P's friends" page but really don't have a read of y'all's opinions.

We have a thread for him here.

[alittledizzy]

hi just popping in to share something that has been on my mind recently

Since they are who they are, it must be difficult for dnp to keep memories to themselves. Once they send anything out there, the community often attaches their own meaning and often sentimentality to something, which can't help but change the way dnp see those memories or moments themselves. (Which leads to understandably special moments they keep to themselves and everyone thus wants to see).

There's often a la vie en rose kind of appropriation that can sometimes happen to moments in their own lives. I think most of us are guilty of at least a few times attaching some kind of meaning to something that reflected more our own states than the actual moment itself. You see often that something that may not mean that much to dnp themselves can get grasped and transformed by the audience. This must make it difficult at times for them to hold onto what is theirs, since so much of their lives, their relationship, their journey is out there for people to grasp onto. It makes me understand why they sometimes are so hesitant to open up more and more, because whatever they put out there, big or small, is really no longer theirs but rather possessed by a collective.

It must be hard to not sometimes feel like dolls being played by the community in their little dollhouse.

Which is why it struck me that in tabinof they said something to the effect of "do with this book what you will" and hold it in your hearts wherever you hold dnp. It seemed like they were aware of this phenomena.

idek what this is srry
I'm probably adding more meaning to this myself lol

I definitely agree with this, and I think you worded it far better than I ever could have.

I actually think a lot of them keeping parts of their current apartment to themselves has to do with behind able to actually surround themselves with things that relate to memories only between them, not shared with us. They certainly have plenty of memories that we weren't privvy too, and this new push for privacy means they're free to have souvenirs or mementos or photographs, things they can put on a nightstand or a dresser and not be concerned with us immediately enveloping them into our database of fandom. Nothing drastic, just normal life stuff - but normal life stuff that they held back before.

As much as I am totally fan who wants to know everything, I respect the decision(s) they're making to give us so much and no more right now. (Though I don't think their intention was to give us so much of their lives in the past, and more just that they weren't aware the effect of being more open and now they know.)

[yellowsubmarine]

Hmmmmmm
Markiplier vid? New DAPG/AP/potential LessAmazingPhil?

Or even... their secret project that will be revealed in August???!

probably the bloopers of the Danthony collab, that Anthony said he'll maybe upload

Theory:

Dan schedules his videos so that Phil has the first liveshow after and not him so Phil can be a buffer to the opinions/criticisms. I need to go back and see if this holds for more videos or if I'm just misremembering

Hmm... it's a valid theory. I don't remember if this has happened before (the timing of Dan's videos with Phil ls) but who knows really. Phandom is always much more complacent and chill with Phil content than with Dan content (for good reason, imo)

[onetruetrash]

Question:

Has Dan denied any other sexuality than gay? Like that seems an interesting technicality, people are saying he's gay and asking questions and he can say he isn't gay. But that doesn't mean he doesn't like men.

Apparently I've stopped answering other people than you, sparkle.

Nope. Dan's denied being gay over and over again, but he's never denied any other sexuality - or said he's straight. (He insinuated being straight pretty hard a few times, but never took the actual word in his mouth.)

It's interesting to think that back in 2012, when he constantly read those "are you gay?" questions in the chat and answered them, A LOT of people would also ask if he was bi based on his old Formsprings, and yet he never answered those people but picked the gay questions each time.

Alright, off to rewatch the new video again - and a bunch of other recent Dan videos becuase I really haven't been paying attention lately and barely remember most of them.

Ehhhh..... Not exactly. I mean, he never said "I'm straight" or anything, but in this clip, Dan is talking about some guy and he says doesn't "even swing that way" which is basically saying he's straight.