Dan & Phil Part 82: now onto the future
- autumnhearth
- senpai
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Licorice ice cream sounds delicious to (I realize I’m weird, I prefer fennel and anise toothpastes to mint) and from a Michelin star restaurant, nice.
I'm reading some very stark claims and even terms like gaslighting are being thrown around so I feel the least I can do in defense of Dan and Phil's own words is offer a different view, which I know will be unpopular since so many people who are active in this forum think they are a couple. Warning: you may get offended. But then again I'm feeling pretty offended myself when I read how easily people disregard what Dan and Phil themselves have stated about the nature of their relationship.
Neither of us are even acquainted with them in real life. In the end the best this forum can offer is just the opinion of a person who doesn't have any special access to the intimate facts of their life. And no I don't think that anyone is holding back 'secret phan proof' because there is nothing to hide. Dan and Phil are the only ones who know the real full deal of their lives and what (hasn't) happened. They are the sole authority that can decide what the personal relationship between them is best described as. They have made clear that are platonic friends, so when phans say they are a couple, that's an assumption which rejects their own words as lies. You can disbelieve their spirited denials, but I find it rather crass when someone says they are so sure about their own speculations about a relationship they aren't in and can't really know about, that they accuse Dan, who'd actually be part of that relationship of gaslighting. It's a term I wouldn't throw around without care. Gaslighting is often used in the context of emotional abuse and more or less defined as "manipulating (someone) by psychological means into doubting their own sanity." That's quite a hefty claim that warrant some evidence.
But that's the crux of the whole issue. There is no (secret) evidence of them being in a relationship. Just a bunch of speculation by outsiders. "I don't believe V-day was a prank", "I think Dan just made his denials out of fear". Fine, but on what grounds? Unless someone here actually is Dan or Phil you better come up with some irrefutable evidence that Dan and Phil are lying about not being a couple. Otherwise I would say you are in a poor situation to judge the truth of the matter. I'm familiar with all the supposed arguments that would suggest they are in a relationship and I am unconvinced They do not measure up against the words of Dan and Phil themselves and are all very ambiguous.
Living together with a very near and dear friend, doing a whole of things together that you could stereotypically define as "couple-y", looking smitten, cute and married together or whatever else is not behavior that is exclusive to romantic couples and I don't see how you can say that is enough proof for you if you sincerely hold the view that these are things can also be done as friends (yes, all of them. Just like things in themselves are very rarely gay, the things Dan and Phil does not mean they have to be lovers).
Other people will be convinced and draw other conclusions. That's fine. I'm not trying to convert souls to the cause, but I do shudder when people are getting so convinced they are right, in contradiction of the sentiments expressed by Dan and Phil themselves, that they start explaining denials in terms of 'internalized homophobia" or "gaslighting". That's a couple of bridges to far. It's no different from non phans saying "everybody who thinks phan is real is insane". I would like to plead for some nuance and skepticism in the views we adopt. I feel fairly confident that they are 'just' friends and value and believe their own words on the matter, but I'd never say i'm completely sure. They could have lied, and fooled me. There could arise facts about their private life (a sincere video/statement by themselves, pictures, ..kids? , ...) that makes a platonic friendship untenable. But let's be sober about how much we really can know of them and thoughtful in not assuming to much of their behavior and intentions to quickly.
Neither of us are even acquainted with them in real life. In the end the best this forum can offer is just the opinion of a person who doesn't have any special access to the intimate facts of their life. And no I don't think that anyone is holding back 'secret phan proof' because there is nothing to hide. Dan and Phil are the only ones who know the real full deal of their lives and what (hasn't) happened. They are the sole authority that can decide what the personal relationship between them is best described as. They have made clear that are platonic friends, so when phans say they are a couple, that's an assumption which rejects their own words as lies. You can disbelieve their spirited denials, but I find it rather crass when someone says they are so sure about their own speculations about a relationship they aren't in and can't really know about, that they accuse Dan, who'd actually be part of that relationship of gaslighting. It's a term I wouldn't throw around without care. Gaslighting is often used in the context of emotional abuse and more or less defined as "manipulating (someone) by psychological means into doubting their own sanity." That's quite a hefty claim that warrant some evidence.
But that's the crux of the whole issue. There is no (secret) evidence of them being in a relationship. Just a bunch of speculation by outsiders. "I don't believe V-day was a prank", "I think Dan just made his denials out of fear". Fine, but on what grounds? Unless someone here actually is Dan or Phil you better come up with some irrefutable evidence that Dan and Phil are lying about not being a couple. Otherwise I would say you are in a poor situation to judge the truth of the matter. I'm familiar with all the supposed arguments that would suggest they are in a relationship and I am unconvinced They do not measure up against the words of Dan and Phil themselves and are all very ambiguous.
Living together with a very near and dear friend, doing a whole of things together that you could stereotypically define as "couple-y", looking smitten, cute and married together or whatever else is not behavior that is exclusive to romantic couples and I don't see how you can say that is enough proof for you if you sincerely hold the view that these are things can also be done as friends (yes, all of them. Just like things in themselves are very rarely gay, the things Dan and Phil does not mean they have to be lovers).
Other people will be convinced and draw other conclusions. That's fine. I'm not trying to convert souls to the cause, but I do shudder when people are getting so convinced they are right, in contradiction of the sentiments expressed by Dan and Phil themselves, that they start explaining denials in terms of 'internalized homophobia" or "gaslighting". That's a couple of bridges to far. It's no different from non phans saying "everybody who thinks phan is real is insane". I would like to plead for some nuance and skepticism in the views we adopt. I feel fairly confident that they are 'just' friends and value and believe their own words on the matter, but I'd never say i'm completely sure. They could have lied, and fooled me. There could arise facts about their private life (a sincere video/statement by themselves, pictures, ..kids? , ...) that makes a platonic friendship untenable. But let's be sober about how much we really can know of them and thoughtful in not assuming to much of their behavior and intentions to quickly.
Finding my own inarticulate prose
Weirding out strangers and laughing at those
Jaundiced and jaded, postured and posed
Not that we’re special it’s just that we’re
Closing in on a place where we might get to be
Living real people regularly
Weirding out strangers and laughing at those
Jaundiced and jaded, postured and posed
Not that we’re special it’s just that we’re
Closing in on a place where we might get to be
Living real people regularly
I LOVE Licorice...where can I find this amazing sounding toothpaste?autumnhearth wrote: ↑Tue Feb 12, 2019 7:49 pm Licorice ice cream sounds delicious to (I realize I’m weird, I prefer fennel and anise toothpastes to mint) and from a Michelin star restaurant, nice.
- alittledizzy
- actual demon phannie
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Chocolate cake and licorice ice cream sounds like heaven to me. Phil and I (and other licorice lovers) will stand united against the haters.
(Also I'm conditionally team belly-button honey as well. It's just more of an at home dessert as opposed to a public dining experience.)
(Also I'm conditionally team belly-button honey as well. It's just more of an at home dessert as opposed to a public dining experience.)
- glitterintheair
- phillluminati
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I cannot believe he went to such a fancy place to eat LIQUORICE of all things. I am disappointed, Mr Amazing.
I'm a winter flower underground, always thirsty for summer rain.
Great now I have to google licorice ice cream to see where I can get some because it sounds amazing to me.
I hope they had a great dinner!
I saw someone mention they’d love for dan to write a book and that’s where I’m at too. Maybe a collection of his thoughts on different things, maybe some poems if he’s into that, essays, streams of consciousness, etc. I’d be all for it. But I really don’t know how hyped I’d be for political content from dan like I’ve seen others show interest in (which is totally cool btw I enjoy contra points from time to time).
But like at the end of the day I just want dan to do what dan wants like I think most people do.
I hope they had a great dinner!
I saw someone mention they’d love for dan to write a book and that’s where I’m at too. Maybe a collection of his thoughts on different things, maybe some poems if he’s into that, essays, streams of consciousness, etc. I’d be all for it. But I really don’t know how hyped I’d be for political content from dan like I’ve seen others show interest in (which is totally cool btw I enjoy contra points from time to time).
But like at the end of the day I just want dan to do what dan wants like I think most people do.
- lionandllama
- squish
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Everyone seems to know where Phil went but I have no idea what that fancy place is. lol Where do you get licorice ice cream like that?
I never tried it so I have no strong opinions on it.
I think going to that fancy place might be part of an expansion of the royal birthday tour.
I never tried it so I have no strong opinions on it.
I think going to that fancy place might be part of an expansion of the royal birthday tour.
- obsessivelymoody
- emo goose
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I guess I'll just sit in the corner with my big bag of liquorice and Phil (and all the other rational people). On the topic of honey, though, I believe Phil mentioned something with his feet? Maybe a bellybutton foot combo would hit the spot after a nice meal.
Re: Dan writing a book, I think that would be interesting and I would be here for it, but at the moment I'm not sure how plausible it is. And tbh I have my own selfish fantasy of a joint book 15 ish years down the road.
But what I really want still is a podcast. I know we've talked about it before, but god I would eat that up, and I feel like they would enjoy the structure of it and lack of cameras.
Re: Dan writing a book, I think that would be interesting and I would be here for it, but at the moment I'm not sure how plausible it is. And tbh I have my own selfish fantasy of a joint book 15 ish years down the road.
But what I really want still is a podcast. I know we've talked about it before, but god I would eat that up, and I feel like they would enjoy the structure of it and lack of cameras.
Can I just say that I am outraged at the behavior of this fandom. Shaming Phil for his love a sweet (which we all know he'd live off of if he could). BUT barely anyone shames him for his dislike of cheese, which is far more deplorable.
(yes I did come back on here to write that after being gone so long it's like I was never here in the first place... )
(yes I did come back on here to write that after being gone so long it's like I was never here in the first place... )
actions speak louder than words
- flarequake
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Gah, no to liquorice from me. And this from a man who hates Marmite.
I had an idea for a book from them in the future, their perspective not only on how things have happened for them, but how the audience changed over the various eras of just Phil, then Dan too, the radio, Tatinof, II and beyond eg you might think everyone was young and sweet from Phil’s Radio One Christmas video as Jack Skellington with kids holding up signs of what it means to them vs less cute judging from some of the things Dan used to be sent to his PO Box.
I had an idea for a book from them in the future, their perspective not only on how things have happened for them, but how the audience changed over the various eras of just Phil, then Dan too, the radio, Tatinof, II and beyond eg you might think everyone was young and sweet from Phil’s Radio One Christmas video as Jack Skellington with kids holding up signs of what it means to them vs less cute judging from some of the things Dan used to be sent to his PO Box.
But are the petals food or decoration though? Do you eat them?
I watched Dan's most recent solo liveshow again and it occurred to me that the metaphor he's been using about 'constantly evolving like a Pokemon' and waiting to post videos until he's ready to be whatever jazz hands signify because he feels like he's growing so much is a lot like what Phil said in the DC when Dan said he didn't know who he was: that Dan is a new person every day. I wonder if Dan clung on to that and made it his own. The idea was sweet to me idk
I watched Dan's most recent solo liveshow again and it occurred to me that the metaphor he's been using about 'constantly evolving like a Pokemon' and waiting to post videos until he's ready to be whatever jazz hands signify because he feels like he's growing so much is a lot like what Phil said in the DC when Dan said he didn't know who he was: that Dan is a new person every day. I wonder if Dan clung on to that and made it his own. The idea was sweet to me idk
- kavat
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I'm with obsessivelymoody, I'd rather read a book in 15-20 years where they look back on everything with distance and tell everything they don't tell us now.
I recently listened to the tatinof audiobook (yes that's how i'm dealing with the drought) and it made me want a podcast even more. But as mentioned before, I don't see them doing it unless they have a set premise or theme. I doubt they would do a "let's talk about our week" kind of thing. I see them doing something much more structured, but I don't know in what way.
I recently listened to the tatinof audiobook (yes that's how i'm dealing with the drought) and it made me want a podcast even more. But as mentioned before, I don't see them doing it unless they have a set premise or theme. I doubt they would do a "let's talk about our week" kind of thing. I see them doing something much more structured, but I don't know in what way.
- autumnhearth
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The restaurant is Aquavit, but it looks like you can get licorice ice cream (and gelato) several places in London.lionandllama wrote: ↑Tue Feb 12, 2019 8:28 pm Everyone seems to know where Phil went but I have no idea what that fancy place is. lol Where do you get licorice ice cream like that?
I never tried it so I have no strong opinions on it.
I think going to that fancy place might be part of an expansion of the royal birthday tour.
@knq violet petals are indeed edible.
@Buddahbug Tom’s makes fennel as does Trader Joe’s, the anise is Dr. Bronners.
I think I'm actually against the podcast idea because I have the attention span of a gnat and would not have enough to listen without video to accompany
liquorice is nice, liquorice ice cream is weird
@alittledizzy your post was very insightful, I've never actually seen that cornelia tweet either
@Stakhanov kids would be the real twist tbh
liquorice is nice, liquorice ice cream is weird
@alittledizzy your post was very insightful, I've never actually seen that cornelia tweet either
@Stakhanov kids would be the real twist tbh
- Ataraxia25
- flower crown
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THIS. How can he hate cheese? As a French cheese-loving person (believe me, saying i love cheese in the understatement of the century) watching the cheese challenge is... a challenge. Goat cheese is a freaking gift from the supreme goddess herself And Phil hates it?Winston wrote: ↑Tue Feb 12, 2019 8:44 pm Can I just say that I am outraged at the behavior of this fandom. Shaming Phil for his love a sweet (which we all know he'd live off of if he could). BUT barely anyone shames him for his dislike of cheese, which is far more deplorable.
(yes I did come back on here to write that after being gone so long it's like I was never here in the first place... )
- obsessivelymoody
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Anyway I found Phil's valentines day gift to Dan
@Winston You're Phil is pretty sweet by himself so liquorice ice cream is a good fit, but his distaste for cheese is baffling. He likes pizza. He literally dressed up as a cheese wedge. Can we even believe he hates cheese?
@bluewho I blame parent phan! phanart Maybe if I wish it upon a dying star, Phil can finally settle his custody battle with Janice from the shop and they can give baby Susan2 a home (we don't speak about the og Susan).
@Dan writing a book. Yea that would be awesome. Bring along the ghost writer if need be. I don't care. When they first announced the book, i hoped for a brief moment we'd get some real insight into their lives. Please Dan and Phil, find a way to write your story. It would help a lot of people.
@bluewho I blame parent phan! phanart Maybe if I wish it upon a dying star, Phil can finally settle his custody battle with Janice from the shop and they can give baby Susan2 a home (we don't speak about the og Susan).
@Dan writing a book. Yea that would be awesome. Bring along the ghost writer if need be. I don't care. When they first announced the book, i hoped for a brief moment we'd get some real insight into their lives. Please Dan and Phil, find a way to write your story. It would help a lot of people.
Finding my own inarticulate prose
Weirding out strangers and laughing at those
Jaundiced and jaded, postured and posed
Not that we’re special it’s just that we’re
Closing in on a place where we might get to be
Living real people regularly
Weirding out strangers and laughing at those
Jaundiced and jaded, postured and posed
Not that we’re special it’s just that we’re
Closing in on a place where we might get to be
Living real people regularly
I have never tasted liquorice before, so I can't comment on the taste.
I can understand his aversion to cheese. I can stomach the more common ones but I will absolutely avoid the more 'unique' and 'expensive' ones since it didn't taste right in my mouth.
But that's probably just my Asian tongue which I know other Asians experience the same thing. It's a little weird for a British guy like Phil, tho.
I can understand his aversion to cheese. I can stomach the more common ones but I will absolutely avoid the more 'unique' and 'expensive' ones since it didn't taste right in my mouth.
But that's probably just my Asian tongue which I know other Asians experience the same thing. It's a little weird for a British guy like Phil, tho.
Almost married PJ. we broke up tho
-Philip Michael Lester, 2008
-Philip Michael Lester, 2008
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- living flop
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See, this is the exact opposite of myself. I am danish, and cannot understand how anyone can hate licorice? it’s not even a strong flavor sometimes, and I cannot believe some people haven’t tried licorice ice cream? it’s such a common flavor where I’m from haha. I could eat a ton of licorice a day if it didn’t make your stomach ache lol.Ataraxia25 wrote: ↑Tue Feb 12, 2019 9:17 pmTHIS. How can he hate cheese? As a French cheese-loving person (believe me, saying i love cheese in the understatement of the century) watching the cheese challenge is... a challenge. Goat cheese is a freaking gift from the supreme goddess herself And Phil hates it?Winston wrote: ↑Tue Feb 12, 2019 8:44 pm Can I just say that I am outraged at the behavior of this fandom. Shaming Phil for his love a sweet (which we all know he'd live off of if he could). BUT barely anyone shames him for his dislike of cheese, which is far more deplorable.
(yes I did come back on here to write that after being gone so long it's like I was never here in the first place... )
And cheese is disappointing.
and to comment on the dan-book-thing: I would love for dan to document his differences in opinions and actions and thoughts as his personality “changes every day”, and I can’t understand why dan doesn’t use his YouTube more, cause this would be perfect! writing a book might feel like to much of a committing thing to him, if making a YouTube video about a topic is scary, as he can’t get back to the subject again (his own words). I’d love a book of dan thoughts, but I’d love more frequent YouTube videos exploring his every day thoughts more haha.
I'm Dutch and we're known for charging tourists double for cheese and then traumatizing them with licorice. I can forgive Phil's cheesephobia if he likes licorice. Maybe it's his taste palette protecting him from his previously undiagnosed coeliac.
Fucking love me some licorice. Though it can stay the hell away from ice cream imo.
Fucking love me some licorice. Though it can stay the hell away from ice cream imo.