Reading The Creepiest Email I’ve Ever Been Sent (6 June 2019)

Videos posted on the AmazingPhil channel
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itasca00
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You're being beamed up by aggressive aliens and they're plugging in the anal probe
"Oh, God. Okay. I say: *shrug* [...] I'd be like, 'I don't know how this works. Put a condom on that thing. *shrug*'"
Dan Howell, 5/10/18 Try new things..?
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itasca00
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itasca00 wrote: Fri Jun 07, 2019 3:53 am Well, this video certainly was a great surprise! It definitely makes me wonder, though, how many other blast-from-the-past stories Phil has hiding up his sleeve... Anyway, here are my highlights:
  • [1:13] Phil says that the only person who calls him Philip is his grandmother.
  • [1:42] “Other kinds of rubs.” Great phrase there, Phil. 👍
    P: This is--This is a nice email so far: like my videos, giving me a bit of an ego rub. Probably gonna wanna give me other kinds of rubs… You just wait!
  • [2:28] Phil comments on how it’s funny that Harold thinks he only has one YouTube colleague. I guess Harold was just psychic. :lol:
  • [3:24] It sounds like Phil may have accidentally said “Harold’s” real name?
  • [6:45] I guess now we just get to know for sure that Phil is into the idea of an MMF threesome. In my opinion, this moment from a previous video heavily foreshadowed this declaration.
    P: Are we getting in to some kind of three-way marriage territory here? Where I’m married to both of you. Tickle me a bit on the side. I mean, to be fair, they didn’t send me a photo of themselves. They could have been hot.
  • [6:55] Capita£ester is enticed by the offer of being paid $1000/week.
  • [8:48] Phil invites PJ to participate in a video where they/Phil try to escape from a box. :lol:
  • [9:57] Using some text on the screen, Phil draws our attention to a minuscule white dot that probably only the editor of the video would notice.
    shout out to the mysterious white dot on my shoulder for surviving the whole video
  • Phil continues to remain consistent in listing links to the three versions of the AmazingPhil shop at the beginning of the video description and listing a link to the Dan and Phil Shop with his social media links.
And now, here is a transcript of Harold's entire email (or at least all of the parts that Phil showed):
[0:52]
Business Proposition - AmazingPhil - BUY YOUR CHANNEL?

[1:09]
Hello Philip

[1:23]
My name is harold. I enjoy your videos alone but also with my partner susan

[1:36]
and after seeing your latest few, we felt your creativity has blossomed and needs to be shared.

[1:50]
I can make this possible and I have a few suggestions with you to make you blossom as a creator, a human and also a friend.

[2:11]
Of course this is a paid opportunity...feel free to share these ideas with your youtube colleague!

[2:38]
Proposition 1: Channel Purchase

I would like to purchase your youtube channel for hard cash.

[3:02]
You can continue to post on the channel but I will be a CREATIVE PARTNER.

[3:11]
It will commence like another year of AmazingPhil 2009, but I would like to introduce a segment linking for my website where we link to my videos organically.

[3:36]
This is mainly related to reaching a nirvana like state through various methods I have scientifically studied and plan to post on my website.

[3:52]
- Fashion - I will dress you in outfits for purchase and you review
- Review - Daily reviews of whatever you want!!!!
- meditation - Daily meditation class

[4:50]
- Tickle - I or my associate will tickle you for fun video. This is fun but also releases endorphins scientifically and we will promote the holistic aspects of tickling. fun!

[5:29]
- Wet - Think water fights with friends, or other kinds of games involving water. Open to discussion on price. Could purchase a water tank in year 2

[6:07]
Proposition 2 - Relocation.

This may sound a bit forward but my partner susan would like to offer you to stay with us in California, USA. This is a great opportunity for hollywood and movie deals as we have CONNECTIONS

[6:38]
but also we feel like we could create a strong working friendship and real life relationship.

[6:54]
Terms - $1000 a week and you can make videos in our home and stay for free!!! Including bills.

[7:10]
We would only request that you also take part in some activities for my own website. One would be a ‘food olympics’ style video like FOOD BATTLE (smosh) but i would involve you eating my food until you can no longer eat anymore as a bigger challenge!

[7:35]
We can also give you as much food as you would like at any other time, along with benefits like spending. Weekends are yours but we will plan excursions.

[7:52]
I know UK is great for you but think of the oprtunites america would hold.

[7:59]
Another video idea is the tickle challenge. It may sound strange but videos involving tickling of your feet or just your rib would create a great revenue stream and $$.

[8:37]
Another fun idea is we build a box and see if you could escape it. maybe with a youtuber friend as a bigger challenge tag.

[8:55]
My partner is eager to hear back form YOU and star making some MONEY!

[9:02]
Let me know if you want to link up. Let’s make it big $$$$$

[9:10]
Yours faithfully
harold
You're being beamed up by aggressive aliens and they're plugging in the anal probe
"Oh, God. Okay. I say: *shrug* [...] I'd be like, 'I don't know how this works. Put a condom on that thing. *shrug*'"
Dan Howell, 5/10/18 Try new things..?
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itasca00
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Posts: 438
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2018 12:53 pm
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Location: USA

noodlebum wrote: Fri Jun 07, 2019 6:57 pm
itasca00 wrote: Fri Jun 07, 2019 3:53 am
  • [3:24] It sounds like Phil may have accidentally said “Harold’s” real name?
Nah, Hazza, like a nickname for Harold (e.g. Gary = Gazza) :D
You're being beamed up by aggressive aliens and they're plugging in the anal probe
"Oh, God. Okay. I say: *shrug* [...] I'd be like, 'I don't know how this works. Put a condom on that thing. *shrug*'"
Dan Howell, 5/10/18 Try new things..?
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