I'm back with more thoughts. I was one of the people who seriously doubted he would upload and considered if maybe he was leaving Youtube alltogether and the first thing I wanna do is admit that I was wrong and I'm so happy I was wrong. I think he explained quite well why he struggled to upload and why there was so little communication and I get it now. What he did was honestly one of the bravest things I've seen a Youtuber do because this isn't just a coming out video.
I appreciate everything about this video. His honesty of course, but also his acknowledgement of his own privilege, the shout out to the trans and ace communities, his super articulate explanation of why labels can be important to people etc.. It's so personal but at the same time such a perfect breakdown of what it feels like being queer in this day and age. (Does this make sense? It makes sense to me.)
I've been following Dan (and Phil) since about 2012 now and just looking back at everything that's happened and how far they've come, especially Dan, especially considering the new light the video sheds on some aspects of it, it honestly almost makes me wanna cry with joy (dramatic, I know). Not just because I'm happy for him, but because I just know this video will help so many people come to terms with their own struggles with sexuality.
Okay, I'll stop rambling but I'm honestly emotional over this for so many reasons, tl;dr: I'm happy for him and for all the people this video will help and for us as a community and also I'm happy I was wrong.
Dan & Phil Part 85: the phildom
This video was the best thing I've ever seen. EVER!!! I've cried, laughed and felt proud watching it.. my heart!!
I'm not the typical Dan & Phil follower.. I'm 38, married with two boys.. but I've always loved these two goofballs and followed them for years now.. I was always more of a Dangirl but I've came here to say what a truly amazing and beautiful friend Phil is!!! This guy always seemed so nice, caring and loving but this was so much more!! I love him even more now!!
But all I want right now is to travel back in time, go to teen Dan's bedroom and give him a hug and tell him he's going to be okay!
I'm not the typical Dan & Phil follower.. I'm 38, married with two boys.. but I've always loved these two goofballs and followed them for years now.. I was always more of a Dangirl but I've came here to say what a truly amazing and beautiful friend Phil is!!! This guy always seemed so nice, caring and loving but this was so much more!! I love him even more now!!
But all I want right now is to travel back in time, go to teen Dan's bedroom and give him a hug and tell him he's going to be okay!
- kavat
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My feelings summarized:
This video really exceeded anything I ever though we would get from either of them. It was raw, personal and truly life changing, not only for him but probably for many people watching too. Waking up and seeing him trend on youtube, twitter and reddit really shows what impact this video already have had.
The way he talked about his family and childhood trauma felt like a punch in the face. Not because I relate in anyway but because no child should ever have to through that. I'm so happy that he's still here and that things has changed for him. I now have a whole new understanding for why he's been so private about his family and childhood in the past (compared to Phil) and why going back to his home town is so difficult for him.
One thing I really love is how this shows that no coming out story is the same. Look at the difference in Dan's and Phil's ways, one epic tell-all video explaining what the internet have speculated about for a decade, and one off-hand comment in a tweet. It's brilliant and so so them.
I cried like a baby watching it last night, but what broke me this morning was going through his likes and seeing the support from the online community. A collection of few of my faves:
This video really exceeded anything I ever though we would get from either of them. It was raw, personal and truly life changing, not only for him but probably for many people watching too. Waking up and seeing him trend on youtube, twitter and reddit really shows what impact this video already have had.
The way he talked about his family and childhood trauma felt like a punch in the face. Not because I relate in anyway but because no child should ever have to through that. I'm so happy that he's still here and that things has changed for him. I now have a whole new understanding for why he's been so private about his family and childhood in the past (compared to Phil) and why going back to his home town is so difficult for him.
One thing I really love is how this shows that no coming out story is the same. Look at the difference in Dan's and Phil's ways, one epic tell-all video explaining what the internet have speculated about for a decade, and one off-hand comment in a tweet. It's brilliant and so so them.
I cried like a baby watching it last night, but what broke me this morning was going through his likes and seeing the support from the online community. A collection of few of my faves:
There is so much I want to say about this video, but I can't form the words right now. I broke down after watching the video last night, to my brother, because despite being out to my family and friends, I've never dealt or spoke about the things I went through when I first realised I was gay, back in secondary school. I've ignored it for so long, but watching that video, hearing Dan talk about everything he's been through...it gave me hope that I can get better, will get better. Took the first step last night in admitting I need help to my family.
I'll come back to this once I'm in better frame of mind, but Dan, can never thank you enough for posting what you did. Seeing all the responses to your video, on here, on twitter...the love being shown, it's wonderful.
I'll come back to this once I'm in better frame of mind, but Dan, can never thank you enough for posting what you did. Seeing all the responses to your video, on here, on twitter...the love being shown, it's wonderful.
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- cheeky #spon
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HOW FKIN CUUUUTE !!!
- ravenreyes
- sofa crease
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once again, i'm just so happy for him!!
english is not my first language
- LtrllySusan
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If you guys want to have a good cry with this video from 2018
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- phillion/danosaur <//3
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(thank you for doing this bc i sat here at 6:40 am my time looking like the meme of the lady doing math bc i couldn’t figure out how to embed a tweet. #old)
Goddamn right it is
I have watched and rewatched and I still have nothing eloquent to say other than I love him so much and I am so happy for him. I can’t imagine the weight that’s been lifted. Watching all of his peers across the internet shower him with the love he deserves has me in a soft puddle of love today. You go Dan
- glitterintheair
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He's never gonna shut up about it now, is he? Bless his heart, I wanna hug him so tight.
I'm a winter flower underground, always thirsty for summer rain.
This mishmash of a post comes to you in four parts.
Part 1:
Part 2:
I want to pull out a moment from my long list of timestamps that I haven't yet seen commented on anywhere. Listening to the audio of the video, I can't understand anything that's being said. The video captions, however, spell everything out. They make the darkest moment of the video so much darker... They also make me wonder if Dan did the video captions himself or at least heavily edited them for accuracy.
Part 3:
I realize now that I forgot to timestamp Dan's multiple mentions of Runescape. There may be more, but these are the two I remember:
Finally, when put in a situation where you find it necessary to refer to Dan's sexuality, I'm really curious to hear which label people are going to use: queer or gay. I don't think Dan cares either way, so I'm really only asking for my own curiosity. Personally, I'm not sure what I'm going to do. There's the title of the video and the email to his family (and the tweet from a few minutes ago) that are both pro "gay." But Dan also seems so much more comfortable with the term "queer," and I think he uses it more when referring to himself throughout the video. But then there's also the whole lead-up to him saying that he's gay, and he seems to want to tear down the incredibly negative associations that he has with that label. Maybe calling him gay would help with that.
Part 1:
Yes, this! Let's not overlook the fact that Dan slipped in "poly" as one of the labels that might potentially work for him at [37:28]. With the wording that was used in this video, I would be somewhat surprised if Dan was in a monogamous relationship, and I would also be somewhat surprised if he described his present relationship status as "single."lefthandedism wrote: ↑Fri Jun 14, 2019 3:14 am And, y'all, it's entirely possible that Dan and Phil can be best friends, soulmates, and companions for life--that is, in a committed romantic relationship--and Dan wouldn't mind if someone slipped into his dms. I continue to be confident that phan is real, but I don't think monogamy is a requirement for that realness.
Part 2:
I want to pull out a moment from my long list of timestamps that I haven't yet seen commented on anywhere. Listening to the audio of the video, I can't understand anything that's being said. The video captions, however, spell everything out. They make the darkest moment of the video so much darker... They also make me wonder if Dan did the video captions himself or at least heavily edited them for accuracy.
I realize now that I forgot to timestamp Dan's multiple mentions of Runescape. There may be more, but these are the two I remember:
- [8:25] Same.
D: I kinda knew who I was in the hierarchy at that point. I was essentially a theatre kid who spent all of his free time playing Runescape on the AOL browser on his mum's PC instead of football.
- [17:55] Dan's analysis of his choice to hang out with the "in-betweeners":
D: Just full-time Runescape would have been better in hindsight.
Finally, when put in a situation where you find it necessary to refer to Dan's sexuality, I'm really curious to hear which label people are going to use: queer or gay. I don't think Dan cares either way, so I'm really only asking for my own curiosity. Personally, I'm not sure what I'm going to do. There's the title of the video and the email to his family (and the tweet from a few minutes ago) that are both pro "gay." But Dan also seems so much more comfortable with the term "queer," and I think he uses it more when referring to himself throughout the video. But then there's also the whole lead-up to him saying that he's gay, and he seems to want to tear down the incredibly negative associations that he has with that label. Maybe calling him gay would help with that.
You're being beamed up by aggressive aliens and they're plugging in the anal probe
"Oh, God. Okay. I say: *shrug* [...] I'd be like, 'I don't know how this works. Put a condom on that thing. *shrug*'"
Dan Howell, 5/10/18 Try new things..?
"Oh, God. Okay. I say: *shrug* [...] I'd be like, 'I don't know how this works. Put a condom on that thing. *shrug*'"
Dan Howell, 5/10/18 Try new things..?
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- glabella
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Oh this is nearly making me cry, he's really feeling free and relieved after posting the video, isn't he?
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- truth bomb
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what a great day indeed!
I'm just so proud of Dan. Proud and full of love for both these boys, really I'm also aghast at the things Dan's gone through, and very thankful that he's still here to tell the tale, thankful that he met Phil along the way, just all around thankful and did I mention proud yet? because I am. If I could give him a proper hug, I would.
happy pride y'all
Just to say, and not to start a big ~debate as I doubt he wanted to do that, but in the context of what he was saying when he mentioned poly, I think it’s possible he meant polysexual rather than polyamorous. Like if he considered “bi, pan, poly” as possible identities, in that context I would interpret it to mean polysexual.
(And in case anyone has never heard about polysexuality, according to the internet it means being attracted to multiple genders and seems to be distinct from pansexuality)
(And in case anyone has never heard about polysexuality, according to the internet it means being attracted to multiple genders and seems to be distinct from pansexuality)
- notworthreading
- phillion/danosaur <//3
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I'm not saying he's monogamous, but I'm pretty sure he meant poly as in polysexual, which is another label that means "someone who is sexually and/or romantically attracted to multiple genders".
Edit: Oops, too late.
Last edited by notworthreading on Fri Jun 14, 2019 11:50 am, edited 1 time in total.
- phanfckingtastic
- living flop
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Welcome officially to the family D&P
Dan’s 2nd best video ever, and absolutely LOVED the contrasting coming out styles between them lmao
Phil is still just... ah, the best.
As he started going through his life I started to wonder what would happen when he got to 2009, but he surprised me. I honestly thought even if they came out they would never even mention their relationship. Happy to be proven wrong.
What remains a pain in the ass is the phandom having many dense people apparently unable to understand anything that isn’t literal, or taking throwaway jokes (like the dms line) way too literally. Yes, Phil DID come out via tweet, yes, Linda, they’re boYfrIendS, give it up.
They’re here, they’re queer, and remain the greatest yt love story.
Today is a day off for me so might go on a little revisit to old videos with this new perspective. A lovely end to my decade in the phandom. Wish them all the best
Now the mystery is solved and the suspicions confirmed I can go back to following the Buttigiegs, who provide a lot more content and same levels of wholesomeness - or even more, and the stakes couldn’t be higher. Ey 2020!
Wow.
Feels surreal, huh?
Dan’s 2nd best video ever, and absolutely LOVED the contrasting coming out styles between them lmao
Phil is still just... ah, the best.
As he started going through his life I started to wonder what would happen when he got to 2009, but he surprised me. I honestly thought even if they came out they would never even mention their relationship. Happy to be proven wrong.
What remains a pain in the ass is the phandom having many dense people apparently unable to understand anything that isn’t literal, or taking throwaway jokes (like the dms line) way too literally. Yes, Phil DID come out via tweet, yes, Linda, they’re boYfrIendS, give it up.
They’re here, they’re queer, and remain the greatest yt love story.
Today is a day off for me so might go on a little revisit to old videos with this new perspective. A lovely end to my decade in the phandom. Wish them all the best
Now the mystery is solved and the suspicions confirmed I can go back to following the Buttigiegs, who provide a lot more content and same levels of wholesomeness - or even more, and the stakes couldn’t be higher. Ey 2020!
Wow.
Feels surreal, huh?
eternal dan and phil mood ->
- poweroftriangles
- pumpkin spice pumpkin cookie
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joining the party!
it was the middle of the night when i got the video notif and i was 100% sure i was imagining it. i watched it in the morning before work. BAD IDEA! i could barely concentrate all day. oh, my heart is so full right now.
the details of the bullying he went through destroyed me. and yet he has emerged a kind and lovely soul and is with people who love and support him, and has found his soulmate. what a beautiful journey and how much hope it must bring to someone who thinks it will never get better!
the parts about internalised oppression really hit home, it was years before i could accept myself as bisexual. i'm one of the ones who found comfort in a label, but he explained his take on labels so well.
also the contrapoints/philosophytube influence is clear, but this is still a wonderful exhibition of his own humorous but honest storytelling style. it's a piece of art for the ages.
i love him, i love phil, i am such a bundle of joy and emotion right now. aaaaahhh
it was the middle of the night when i got the video notif and i was 100% sure i was imagining it. i watched it in the morning before work. BAD IDEA! i could barely concentrate all day. oh, my heart is so full right now.
the details of the bullying he went through destroyed me. and yet he has emerged a kind and lovely soul and is with people who love and support him, and has found his soulmate. what a beautiful journey and how much hope it must bring to someone who thinks it will never get better!
the parts about internalised oppression really hit home, it was years before i could accept myself as bisexual. i'm one of the ones who found comfort in a label, but he explained his take on labels so well.
also the contrapoints/philosophytube influence is clear, but this is still a wonderful exhibition of his own humorous but honest storytelling style. it's a piece of art for the ages.
i love him, i love phil, i am such a bundle of joy and emotion right now. aaaaahhh
anti-YouNow club
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- living flop
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dan talking about us ‘wanting to know more about his and phil’s relationship’ and saying “I take that as a compliment” really shows that he knows his and phil’s relationship is freaking beautiful haha.
Wow to Jeremy Corbyn replying
I hope he's proud of himself for that video. He's had so much support for both the topic and coming out itself, but also the writing (thanks writing camp haha), visuals, tone etc.
Also, I wonder if they'll bring back any joint videos now, even just in the background of Phil's or maybe a mukbang? A liveshow would be awesome right now as well, it would be so happy and joyful Imagine Vidcon now, wow... he's going to have so many creators talking to him about it. All quite crazy really. Truly a new chapter for him and for everyone involved in this community
Imagine the possible future videos now, wow.
Also I dreamed that I was travelling to Vidcon with them last night, it was great Am in a happy bubble
I hope he's proud of himself for that video. He's had so much support for both the topic and coming out itself, but also the writing (thanks writing camp haha), visuals, tone etc.
Also, I wonder if they'll bring back any joint videos now, even just in the background of Phil's or maybe a mukbang? A liveshow would be awesome right now as well, it would be so happy and joyful Imagine Vidcon now, wow... he's going to have so many creators talking to him about it. All quite crazy really. Truly a new chapter for him and for everyone involved in this community
Imagine the possible future videos now, wow.
Also I dreamed that I was travelling to Vidcon with them last night, it was great Am in a happy bubble
- alittledizzy
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I didn't get to reply to even a fraction of the amazing posts I saw yesterday and this morning so I'm just gonna make this post a mess of replies.
I also included the part you hid in those quote because... I also identify with that conflict a lot, and have come to no actual conclusions.
I think one of my favorite things right now is seeing the reaction of people who have followed them for so many years. I'm a lot newer to phandom (late 2015) so I did miss out on the most high tension years, but it's incredibly moving the power of which people who saw him in real time at his worst moments are responding to him now at his best.Katka wrote: ↑Fri Jun 14, 2019 8:35 am I've been following Dan (and Phil) since about 2012 now and just looking back at everything that's happened and how far they've come, especially Dan, especially considering the new light the video sheds on some aspects of it, it honestly almost makes me wanna cry with joy (dramatic, I know). Not just because I'm happy for him, but because I just know this video will help so many people come to terms with their own struggles with sexuality.
It's so them! And it brings me so much joy! I hope Phil is just as proud and comfortable with himself right now as Dan is. (Also, Phil's tweet might not be getting the media attention Dan's is, but holy shit at the number of likes on it. 200k as of when I'm posting this.)kavat wrote: ↑Fri Jun 14, 2019 9:37 amOne thing I really love is how this shows that no coming out story is the same. Look at the difference in Dan's and Phil's ways, one epic tell-all video explaining what the internet have speculated about for a decade, and one off-hand comment in a tweet. It's brilliant and so so them.
I'll probably go with queer, but I can't decide if that's because I think Dan prefers it or it's just a personal issue that I relate to a lot and being unsure which word to use for myself and finding more comfort in queer. But I feel like if I'm gonna project onto Dan then doing so between the two options that he put on the table himself isn't so bad.itasca00 wrote: ↑Fri Jun 14, 2019 10:50 am
Part 4:
Finally, when put in a situation where you find it necessary to refer to Dan's sexuality, I'm really curious to hear which label people are going to use: queer or gay. I don't think Dan cares either way, so I'm really only asking for my own curiosity. Personally, I'm not sure what I'm going to do. There's the title of the video and the email to his family (and the tweet from a few minutes ago) that are both pro "gay." But Dan also seems so much more comfortable with the term "queer," and I think he uses it more when referring to himself throughout the video. But then there's also the whole lead-up to him saying that he's gay, and he seems to want to tear down the incredibly negative associations that he has with that label. Maybe calling him gay would help with that.
I also included the part you hid in those quote because... I also identify with that conflict a lot, and have come to no actual conclusions.
That made me laugh, and I agree. I also want so much to process and discuss other things about the video but the relationship one is the one most frequently being asserted as a question right now so that's what I have ended up answering most despite not wanting to focus on that, which has been a personal frustration. But beyond that I'm so blindingly happy for them and what they have and the support and dynamic and just the strength of that bond. And on a similar note, gonna slide this right in just before I hit post:phanfckingtastic wrote: ↑Fri Jun 14, 2019 11:45 amWhat remains a pain in the ass is the phandom having many dense people apparently unable to understand anything that isn’t literal, or taking throwaway jokes (like the dms line) way too literally. Yes, Phil DID come out via tweet, yes, Linda, they’re boYfrIendS, give it up.
They’re here, they’re queer, and remain the greatest yt love story.
Freakin' yeah.firsttimeposter wrote: ↑Fri Jun 14, 2019 12:34 pm dan talking about us ‘wanting to know more about his and phil’s relationship’ and saying “I take that as a compliment” really shows that he knows his and phil’s relationship is freaking beautiful haha.
This entire post is just.... imagine me dabbing my eyes with a handkerchief.idk wrote: ↑Fri Jun 14, 2019 4:35 am The only word and emotion I keep coming back to is pride. I am so immeasurably completely and overwhelmingly proud of Dan.
I’ve been thinking about him talking about the June video last year and I can’t help but think of him saying then, “I did that trying to live my truth video and I was heading forward with a lot of intent and then I was going to make another video but I thought about it a lot I probably spent a bit too much time thinking about it...” and then his tweet today saying, “I always wanted to upload this next video in the month of June.. it ended up taking an entire year longer than I thought but here we are again and now it is time…” confirming that it was the same video. I’m glad he took his time to come out absolutely when he was ready and completely on his own terms. I respect how much of a deliberate decision this was for him. And that he wanted to do it specifically in pride month. Mad respect, man.
The video itself was phenomenal. And brave. And courageous. And admirable. And about a million other things.
This whole post is just a big yes for me.Phantasy wrote: ↑Fri Jun 14, 2019 2:26 am I’m just really happy to finally see a #1 trending 45min video about a member of the queer community that isn’t about drama or trashy clout wars.
What a positive and wholesome representation for Pride Month and for the entire queer community to see a youtuber/ celebrity share his story that will undoubtedly inspire so many others.
And not to mention in such a cynical age and where everything is treated like a reality tv show and seemingly every influencer (gay or straight) is trying to gain views for who can be messiest... to want to respectfully keep some things private, but also lowkey confirm a (presumably monogamous) gay relationship between soulmates has been going strong for 10 years is so so endearing and uplifting and incredibly positive for anyone, regardless of orientation, but especially LGBTQ+ youth who through pop culture and media know almost everything about gay love through the lens of tinder/grindr hookup culture where everything is so fleeting.
The gay/queer community is blessed today and gained an amazing ambassador. I for one am so inspired.
- Grumpybisexual
- delia smith
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Can I just bring this back because it feels wonderfully relevant to the way I felt waking up this morning in this whole new era!
What a great day to be gay indeed
What a great day to be gay indeed
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- living flop
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its been. god knows too long.. since I was logged in (hardly remembered my password)
But my god did I have to come back. Dan. DAN. I just.. I have no words.
I couldn't believe the video yesterday and there were so many moments and things that broke my heart, over and over and over again.
But I am also so proud of him. I joined the phandom in 2014 and if someone had told me back then that Dan would ever make a video like this.. I would have laughed at you. The amount of personal growth there just... blows me away.
(Also I feel like I need to be equally proud of Phil because god knows he came out just the way he probably wanted to as well).
I am not sure how i'll ever rewatch old videos (I tried to rewatch Pinof and it just literally broke me) but I think I should, just to apply this new found perspective.
I am just so so so proud of Dan. Occasionally the world is still a good place.
And while I know that this wasn't what the video actually was about but:
I just... I remember seeing the old videos, the space between them, the infamous tweets and the blog... and now a few years later, we have Dan paying the favour forward, saving lifes too by standing up, out and proud. The fact that the same guy that didn't know how to interact with a camera in hello internet (who was obviously in a lot of pain back then) has used his platform like this, and is now so obviously happy with the person who is his soulmate.
I'm sorry I just still get emotional. Congratulations Dan. We are so proud.
But my god did I have to come back. Dan. DAN. I just.. I have no words.
I couldn't believe the video yesterday and there were so many moments and things that broke my heart, over and over and over again.
But I am also so proud of him. I joined the phandom in 2014 and if someone had told me back then that Dan would ever make a video like this.. I would have laughed at you. The amount of personal growth there just... blows me away.
(Also I feel like I need to be equally proud of Phil because god knows he came out just the way he probably wanted to as well).
I am not sure how i'll ever rewatch old videos (I tried to rewatch Pinof and it just literally broke me) but I think I should, just to apply this new found perspective.
I am just so so so proud of Dan. Occasionally the world is still a good place.
And while I know that this wasn't what the video actually was about but:
They really are the greatest love story on youtube. It makes me choke up to think about not only just how close we came to never having Dan in our lives (and I am going to give Phil credit for this too a little because who knows what would have happened if they never met) and how aware Dan seems to be of the fact just how special what they have is and how much he insisted that it was close and personal to them.phanfckingtastic wrote: ↑Fri Jun 14, 2019 11:45 am What remains a pain in the ass is the phandom having many dense people apparently unable to understand anything that isn’t literal, or taking throwaway jokes (like the dms line) way too literally. Yes, Phil DID come out via tweet, yes, Linda, they’re boYfrIendS, give it up.
They’re here, they’re queer, and remain the greatest yt love story.
I just... I remember seeing the old videos, the space between them, the infamous tweets and the blog... and now a few years later, we have Dan paying the favour forward, saving lifes too by standing up, out and proud. The fact that the same guy that didn't know how to interact with a camera in hello internet (who was obviously in a lot of pain back then) has used his platform like this, and is now so obviously happy with the person who is his soulmate.
I'm sorry I just still get emotional. Congratulations Dan. We are so proud.