Dan & Phil Part 86: here, queer & full of existential fear

[anathema]

I'm sorry, but like... if I don't get a post-Coming Out Vegas Video out of this Nevada trip, what was even THE POINT?!!!

This was my first thought too! But it also made me realize... assuming we didn’t get the first Vegas vid bc it was too gay, but now we know for a fact they’re gay, then:
OG Vegas Throwback Vid + New Vegas Vlog double feature? I would never ask for anything again

Sorry if anyone has said this already but I don't have time to read back everything.
Nothing wrong with an open relationship and anything is possible but I just want to add my two cents in this discussion. It wasn't until after late november or december of 2009 that dan changed his relationship status on myspace from single to in a relationship. So it is very possible that they weren't in a committed relationship as dan was "finding himself" (don't know how to phrase that). But then after one of dan's many trips up there during november and december they decided to commit to each other. It also makes sense bc I doubt dan broke up with his gf and the immediately started dating phil.
Any who that members post was adorable and I will need phil's immediate thoughts upon seeing cheddar, the corgi in the show.

This makes sense, and I especially agree with the part in bold. Yeah he was young and stupid at the time but (as he said) he truly did love his gf and they were together a long time, so I don’t think he would’ve borderline-cheated on her and then immediately jumped into Phil’s open arms after dumping her

[moaninglisa]

I must say, I hope I find an ex I can live in three different apartments with after breaking up, while still working together, going on vacation together, going on double dates together - but as exes ofc, spending the days leading up to Christmas with their family and planning on adopt a corgi or possibly an ugly mongrel together. Oh, and referring to them as my companion through life and actual soulmate.. actually, you know what? That sounds too complicated, I'd rather stay single.

that's the thing, and correct me if i'm wrong - i admit i'm a bit out of the loop and this is based on a quick scroll through updatedphan, but I don't think they've been to many "double dates", family things or been together in the same capacity that they used to in previous years, ofc this could be because of the hiatus so i can't really be sure but idk it wouldn't surprise me if they stopped doing these things together considering how things are looking - count me as one of the people who can't help but see truth in dan's jokes, he simply makes them too often to be considered irrelevant.
also the liveshows in which dan said they were getting a dog and that their current apartment isn't a forever home are almost 2 years old. a lot could have changed between then and now! maybe they're just really trying new things and leaving this thing of using each other as a security blanket behind
i say this this even though i share madzilla84's "i want to believe" sentiment, so i guess we'll have to wait and see what happens

[waveydnp]

being closeted is not lying. you know what else caused health problems for dan? over a decade of homophobic bullying.

[alittledizzy]

I must say, I hope I find an ex I can live in three different apartments with after breaking up, while still working together, going on vacation together, going on double dates together - but as exes ofc, spending the days leading up to Christmas with their family and planning on adopt a corgi or possibly an ugly mongrel together. Oh, and referring to them as my companion through life and actual soulmate.. actually, you know what? That sounds too complicated, I'd rather stay single.

that's the thing, and correct me if i'm wrong - i admit i'm a bit out of the loop and this is based on a quick scroll through updatedphan, but I don't think they've been to many "double dates", family things or been together in the same capacity that they used to in previous years, ofc this could be because of the hiatus so i can't really be sure but idk it wouldn't surprise me if they stopped doing these things together considering how things are looking - count me as one of the people who can't help but see truth in dan's jokes, he simply makes them too often to be considered irrelevant.
also the liveshows in which dan said they were getting a dog and that their current apartment isn't a forever home are almost 2 years old. a lot could have changed between then and now! maybe they're just really trying new things and leaving this thing of using each other as a security blanket behind
i say this this even though i share madzilla84's "i want to believe" sentiment, so i guess we'll have to wait and see what happens

Their double dates with Bryony and Wirrow stopped because Bryony and Wirrow broke up. But this year alone they've been to Brighton to visit friends who are a couple and to Manchester to visit other friends who are a couple, so no, I don't see any major change there. They also traveled to Isle of Man just before Christmas to spend holiday time with Phil's family and Dan with went Phil to Isle of Man for Phil's birthday.

I still just really don't get valuing jokes over the actual non-joking words that came out of his mouth. Are people just not that used to Dan being blunt? Because literally: obviously more than friends, more than just romantic, companions through life, actual soulmates. I would very very much consider those to be relevant and not worth ignoring in favor of a one liner.

[liola]

I must say, I hope I find an ex I can live in three different apartments with after breaking up, while still working together, going on vacation together, going on double dates together - but as exes ofc, spending the days leading up to Christmas with their family and planning on adopt a corgi or possibly an ugly mongrel together. Oh, and referring to them as my companion through life and actual soulmate.. actually, you know what? That sounds too complicated, I'd rather stay single.

that's the thing, and correct me if i'm wrong - i admit i'm a bit out of the loop and this is based on a quick scroll through updatedphan, but I don't think they've been to many "double dates", family things or been together in the same capacity that they used to in previous years, ofc this could be because of the hiatus so i can't really be sure but idk it wouldn't surprise me if they stopped doing these things together considering how things are looking - count me as one of the people who can't help but see truth in dan's jokes, he simply makes them too often to be considered irrelevant.
also the liveshows in which dan said they were getting a dog and that their current apartment isn't a forever home are almost 2 years old. a lot could have changed between then and now! maybe they're just really trying new things and leaving this thing of using each other as a security blanket behind
i say this this even though i share madzilla84's "i want to believe" sentiment, so i guess we'll have to wait and see what happens

Dan was literally at Phil's parents for Christmas and Phil's bday, they went to Manchester to visit Ian, they went to visit Sophie and PJ in Brighton, they were spotted seeing Avengers together.. I mean, they barely leave the house but I don't see how this is any less than previous years especially when for the first time they told us themselves that Dan was going to Phil's family right before Christmas?

Of course, this is the last 6 months of hiatus with basically no instagram stories and no live shows so no updates on their daily lives. They also don't have bryony and wirrow to double date with anymore.

Seriously, how is this happening? Lmao

[snoopysadie]

I wonder if they filmed playing Zelda together at all? Is it too much to hope for?

I think so T_T.
I have a feeling after the last community update that the hiatus on dapg will not be broken until after VidCon but I really really really hope I'm wrong because I am never happier than when those two are banting and being "competitive".
please let me be wrongggg

[plinthofmylife]

Dog almighty the phandom will never ever escape people doubting Phan no matter what comes out of Dan or Phil's mouths. If they can't doubt Phan entirely, it will be that they're now broken up. If they're still together, they must be screwing other people (despite no evidence of that).

Can we just appreciate them as creators and soulmates and take Dan at his word that they have a "more than romantic" relationship that they want to keep private because "it's ours"?

[knq]

Apparently someone with a foreign driver's licence can legally drive in CA and NV but that doesn't seem like something Dan and Phil would do. We don't know of Dan driving any time in the last ~10 years do we? Probably someone they're meeting up with (or collabing with! pls) plans on driving to Vegas with them. Do they still hang out with Cat? She lives in Vegas.


The part of Dan's video where he talks about meeting Phil seems a bit fragmented chronologically. He talks about getting formspring, telling people he was bi on formspring, and his Youtube story beginning with Hello Internet before he talks about meeting Phil.

Trying to google when exactly Dan opened his formspring makes me realize that Dan probably did the same thing to get the screenshots and tell that part of the story. The 'cherry' formsprings are super prominent, which kind of makes me view this joke differently--

22:05 Wow, I had a lot fun with many different kinds of people in 2009. Let's just say I got a lot out of my system. Got a couple of things in my system, too. (comedy drum fill) Sorry.

Also because I;m using Dan's subtitles to quote him I'd just like to draw attention to how he describes music:

22:14 And this is when, through the magic of the internet, I met Phil. (gentle music)

Bonus:

24:52 What the fuck (super cool rap music) even is your sexuality?

imo it's fair enough to think they might have a relationship that's non-monogamous or even to think they're not romantically involved anymore, as long as you still acknowledge that they are soulmates, companions through life, and real best friends. Because those are things Dan actually said and labels he chose to use in the present tense. Ignoring that isn't fair to Dan or his truth.

[flarequake]

Lol, “super cool rap music”, yes, it was, Dan. I remember how he couldn’t take the praise in the liveshow after his diss track, glad he’s acknowledging how good it was now.

[gnostic]

As someone who is poly (as in non monogamous) and has a lot of poly friends, idk why I assumed this fandom would be more diverse in that regard. Probably on the basis phandom is fairly diverse otherwise but wow, some takes on previous pages.

Also just for lols, I don't think Dan and Phil have broken up (nor that they are necessarily ethically non monogamous) but having your ex be your BFF for life is suuuch a poly thing to do.

[uwu]

Ok but can y'all imagine all the aesthetic and fun instastories we'll get from the road trip? If that's not content I don't know what is lol

[plinthofmylife]

but having your ex be your BFF for life is suuuch a poly thing to do.

Lol, this is also very much a lesbian thing. Having to explain to non-lesbian friends why your girlfriend is totally cool with your ex crashing on the couch for 4 months... It's as much a meme in the lesbian community as u-hauling at this point.

I honestly just don't want to make assumptions about their relationship that they haven't said. I just want joint content. That's all I want.

[alittledizzy]

Dog almighty the phandom will never ever escape people doubting Phan no matter what comes out of Dan or Phil's mouths. If they can't doubt Phan entirely, it will be that they're now broken up. If they're still together, they must be screwing other people (despite no evidence of that).

Can we just appreciate them as creators and soulmates and take Dan at his word that they have a "more than romantic" relationship that they want to keep private because "it's ours"?

This. I'm not against the idea of open relationships. But I am against the idea that because you find out two non-straight people are together the immediate assumption is that they must be sleeping with other people, too, because that's just what gay people do, right?

I am just gonna repeat myself and say that my personal hope is that as time progresses and we see them living their life together, people can accept that two people who clearly love each other deeply can sometimes just be in a happy committed relationship and that's... okay. It's not something that immediately needs to be questioned and doubted and picked apart for anyone's peace of mind or self-protection or sake of argument.

And if not, then okay. Fandom's gonna do what fandom's gonna do, and if that includes questioning them until the wedding-video-slash-honeymoon-sex-tape is released and then a week later going 'mm but that was last week, who knows about now' then so be it. I just hope Dan and Phil drown it out with cute in the coming weeks with Vidcon and Vegas and whatever else the future brings!

[Ablissa]

Dog almighty the phandom will never ever escape people doubting Phan no matter what comes out of Dan or Phil's mouths. If they can't doubt Phan entirely, it will be that they're now broken up. If they're still together, they must be screwing other people (despite no evidence of that).

Can we just appreciate them as creators and soulmates and take Dan at his word that they have a "more than romantic" relationship that they want to keep private because "it's ours"?

I find it amusing that we have all been so conditioned to not believe in good things that even when Dan literally said it, people are still denying it lol.

I've been here since late 2012. When I joined this fandom, shipping them wasn't as widely accepted as it is now (hell I'd have never posted anything shippy on tumblr for fear of being yelled at). I'm enjoying the freedom of now being able to say that it's been confirmed by Dan himself, but I honestly thought the arguments would sort of end here. Sadly, we're all taught to not believe in anything when it comes to these two and everything is speculation.

Still don't have time to post my full thoughts, but yeah, I definitely will tonight. Just one thing - the phandom is prone to taking things out of context and forgetting everything else.
Sure, if you saw Dan's coming out video and that was your only involvement in Dan's content, you may have assumed he's single (but but... soulmates with an ex?) and/or seeing other people. But if you add up the context from the past 10 years, including the last two... well. I only see one theory here and it doesn't involve them being anything than completely and fully committed to each other.

(edit to make sure this is clear - I have nothing against polyamory. I think it's awesome. I just don't think we can call them poly based on Dan making a joke...)

[Amiaw]

I doubt that we are going to know much about their Vegas trip unless they suddenly decide to be very open but If they are going there to party it would be funny to see - especially since Phil is apparently over nightclubs and they are both older introverts.
They’ve honestly surprised me with every decision they’ve made since last October (February if we’re counting the separation of shops, etc) so I can’t say that I know what to expect at all but I feel like we might have a slightly clearer picture after vidcon and Vegas and then we’ll know how to better proceed

[gnostic]

but having your ex be your BFF for life is suuuch a poly thing to do.

Lol, this is also very much a lesbian thing. Having to explain to non-lesbian friends why your girlfriend is totally cool with your ex crashing on the couch for 4 months... It's as much a meme in the lesbian community as u-hauling at this point.

Can confirm this is double memetic among poly lesbians

[alien]

I love coming in and talking about things that aren't the current topics of discussion but I can't stop thinking about how courageous it is to come out and confirm your almost decade long relationship just a month before going to vidcon where you haven't been in a few years. Not to mention vidcon being the biggest youtuber convention where you have way more than just your own viewers present but also many of your peers and all of their viewers.

It's just...I can't imagine what vidcon is going to feel like for them. Will it feel totally different and new for them or will it be same old same old?

I'm so proud of them and I want everything to go really well for them. I really hope everyone in their m&g is super cool and chill lmao.

[eevee]

@ everyone: I don't think the cute mutual DM joke is as big a doubt-factor as the "always horny" comment. Why the f you always horny if you got a bf?????? but perhaps he was talking about the past!?!?!!?
the ONLY thing i can think of is maybe daniel has been dreaming of a threesome!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!
considering everything, personalities, events, etc there's no world in which they aren't together right now and there's also no world in which they're poly or open. so that's the only explanation i can think of as to why dan would make a joke about being horny all the time - it was hardly even a joke!!!! it was more like a statement!!!! am i going crazy??? maybe daniel just has a higher sex drive than phil. possible and plausible. aaaaaaaa

someone sedate me pls.

also gay bloopers......IMAGINÈ!!!! If they released a huge montage of footage they could never release before?!??!?!!? like .... idk .... videos you'd play at a wedding?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!

they better take us out of our misery because this is torture.

disclaimer: i am not demanding anything of them and they should do whatever they want including not showing us things, but i would just be very happy if they did!

Do they still hang out with Cat? She lives in Vegas.

I think Cat lives in Nevada now. I wonder if she'll be attending VidCon and they'll be driving with her.

the inevitable Cat vlog (if she's still in Vegas)

If Daniel films with Cat this vidcon I will actually unstan

I wonder if they filmed playing Zelda together at all? Is it too much to hope for?

HOWEVER IF THEY LET'S PLAY ZELDA MY CROPS WILL BE WATERED, MY SEEDS SEWED, MY SKIN CLEARED!!!!!!

Their double dates with Bryony and Wirrow stopped because Bryony and Wirrow broke up. But this year alone they've been to Brighton to visit friends who are a couple and to Manchester to visit other friends who are a couple, so no, I don't see any major change there. They also traveled to Isle of Man just before Christmas to spend holiday time with Phil's family and Dan with went Phil to Isle of Man for Phil's birthday.

Thank you dizzy i was about to panic this has eased my heart

As someone who is poly (as in non monogamous) and has a lot of poly friends, idk why I assumed this fandom would be more diverse in that regard. Probably on the basis phandom is fairly diverse otherwise but wow, some takes on previous pages.

I really didn't notice anyone being rude about poly in general, it was more defensive about daniel's personality and what we've seen of daniel and phil's relationship. it doesn't take a detective to notice that daniel is possessive over phil and he gets jealous, and jealousy is something poly people not only say they don't have but pride themselves on not having. so it doesn't fit daniel's personality. i don't think anyone has a problem with poly or meant to be rude, but more was using valid evidence to support their point that daniel and phil specifically are unlikely to be poly based on what we've seen.

they are both older introverts.

lmao me

[Amiaw]

The joint meet and greet is an interesting decision after the video. So is the Q&A and the members post which shows they are still talking for each other and including us in their shared lives. If nothing else, It makes me feel alot better knowing that the last 6 months was just a glitch in the system and not the way things are going to be

[snoopysadie]

but having your ex be your BFF for life is suuuch a poly thing to do.

Lol, this is also very much a lesbian thing. Having to explain to non-lesbian friends why your girlfriend is totally cool with your ex crashing on the couch for 4 months... It's as much a meme in the lesbian community as u-hauling at this point.

I honestly just don't want to make assumptions about their relationship that they haven't said. I just want joint content. That's all I want.

this last quote is exactly how i feel about them. i'll try not to discuss it too much but honestly if they are together it would be a dream because they are soulmates and the most fit-perfectly-together power couple ever, but i don't have a strict view on their relationship. i think they are very private people and that there is so much we don't see (we only see what they want us to at this point, they learnt from past mistakes) so... keeping my mind open, which is why i like reading posts here. i am not closing myself to any possibility because i am no one to say what is and what isn't. I just want them happy and if I can get joint content out of that then i am in this fandom until we die.

[sonicgreen]

the dnp road trip will actually just be the worlds most expensive uber. gotta spend that vidcon bribe money somehow

[anna_begins]

I kinda see Dan as playing a character of sorts when he makes the thirsty/horny/i'm not picky/slide into my dms type of jokes/comments. He started it in TTLMT. It reminds me of ContraPoints' "'i'm easy" shtick. I feel like it's purposely exaggerated and a bit over the top for lols but he also uses it as a way to keep him from feeling too vulnerable - like to remind the audience that he's an entertainer, and what you see on the screen is very similar to but not exactly like irl Dan. Natalie Tran, another person Dan is inspired by, does something similar too. Natalie always plays this loner that will always be single but she's actually been in a relationship for a long time now.

[Birdie]

(I also think if Dan was poly we'd know since he just posted a 45 minute video explaining his sexuality and what labels he wants to use - gay and queer. I honestly think if he ever considered being poly, he would have at least mentioned it or alluded to it since he mentioned everything else.)

Other than that... I mean, why is this even a thing now? Like others have pointed out, he called Phil his soulmate and said he was sure it was a lifelong thing. That seals it for me. Whether they're monogamous or have an open relationship or whatever... what does it even matter, really? It wouldn't change what he said at all.

I also think this might be the kind of thing he doesn't like. He said this is private and his and Phil's business alone. Like, I don't think harmless speculation is wrong, especially in a forum where he can avoid it and it isn't thrown at him, but I do suspect that was the last word on that from him for now.

Don't get me wrong but it feels kind of wrong to me how a lot of us said we wouldn't make his coming out about phan and now here we are basically doing exactly that by speculating what exactly the character of their relationship is.

I mean, discuss away, that's what this forum is for, this is just me being weird probably.

[eevee]

Don't get me wrong but it feels kind of wrong to me how a lot of us said we wouldn't make his coming out about phan and now here we are basically doing exactly that by speculating what exactly the character of their relationship is.

I mean most of us are in this fandom because of phan so...

[AltMay]

No way Dan's driving, he doesn't have a chair guuuuuyss.

...
Sorry for the shitpost but i needed that out of my system (?)

As many here have expressed in a more articulate way, i think these are all deflective jokes made to lighter the mood and they are not that out of character for him with the addition that now he can actually mean the jokes and not try to justify them or be vague about it. The reason i find it so hard to believe they are not together is cause it would be such a complicated task to mantain secret relationships will being in the public eye. Bare with me for a sec, cause i wanna try to explain but i might not do it greatly. If the situation were that they were not an item, there are two possible outcomes, either they have secret relationships or they are ocassionaly w/other people.
If either/both are in a relationship with someone else how on earth do they hide that? I mean, youtubers aren't typical celebs, they don't have private jets or people who do the mundane tasks for them. And this fandom has the qualities of a small fbi brigade, i really don't see how they would keep something like that hidden for so long; eventually something, anything would have came out. And then, on the other hand, if they were just occasionally seeing people, no commitments, well that would be even worse cause how on earth do you make sure you trust this people not to disclose it? I'm just trying to understand here, I'm don't wanna come across like i know shit cause i really, really don't. But it just seems so unlikely and honestly, people make those kind of jokes even if you're commited. We all want some kind of attention, so why not ask for it? What they have is solid based and i hardly doubt is going anywhere for the forseeable future.

Now hit us with those vidcon/vegas 3.0 content!