Dan & Phil Part 87: post coming out universe

[alittledizzy]

credit to danhowellgifs


credit to danhowellgifs

[eevee]

GAAAYYYYY BOOOYYYSSSSS!!!!

To continue the conversation we were having in the previous thread, I agree that as a couple, and certainly as deeply in love involved as they are, they must have had numerous conversations about the topic of coming out to their audience starting toward the beginning of their relationship. 2010-2011 to be exact. Once the audience started growing, and Dan started getting nervous, I'm sure Phil is the first person he talked about it to.

If Phil felt strongly about being out to his audience and felt that withholding that information was detrimental to himself and/or their relationship, I'm confident Phil would have voiced that. We can't know what these conversations consisted of exactly, but I do feel that we can say with confidence that because they're still close and together (at the VERY least, best friends and living together, although I believe in a romantic, committed relationship) that they came to a conclusion they were both happy with and felt right to both of them. That conclusion was not outright denying it, but also never affirming it. Dan did deny the video's legitimacy, but unless i'm forgetting something major, he never claimed to be 100% straight or single/not dating Phil. If he did, maybe it was in a DM or a forgotten customer service post. But from what I remember, even in all the desperate anguish that came across in his posts, he never outright denied it.

Sorry, got a little rambly at the end there..

speaking of their relationship when do you think they'll confirm that to us? we didn't think phil was making a video and here we are. i have confidence at this point that they will confirm it to us. i think they just are taking a little more time first. knowing them, we could be waiting a while. but i think the day will come.

[Ataraxia25]

I never thought we would have a thread with this title. As Phil would say 'I'm gay it's great i'm happy'

[GalaxyDarling]

I answer here to what @ablissa posted as the last post in the previous thread.

Daniel said at the end of that coming out vid that "cute mutuals slide in the DMs". I think mutuals in this case means fellow gays. He also said that what he had with Phil was "more than romantic", and I'm struggling to figure out what that means. Is platonic more than romantic to him? He was talking in the past tense about it... I don't want to burst any phan bubbles, but maybe my perspective as a gay guy should be heard here.

[alittledizzy]

speaking of their relationship when do you think they'll confirm that to us? we didn't think phil was making a video and here we are. i have confidence at this point that they will confirm it to us. i think they just are taking a little more time first. knowing them, we could be waiting a while. but i think the day will come.

I consider it already confirmed. I think Dan's intention with the video was also to make it clear that he and Phil are together and want to keep their private life private. I genuinely don't think he thought people would selectively ignore that the entire video was in past tense to only isolate and draw conclusions from the sentences about Phil being in past tense or that people would, in light of the announcement of his sexuality, suddenly decide that jokes Dan has always made must Mean More.

I think things will feel 'confirmed' to people as Dan and Phil continue living their lives together and making it very obvious that they are, to quote Dan, companions through life. If some people stubbornly refuse to believe that counts as a relationship unless they're willing to be explicit about things then that's gonna be frustrating but I don't think Dan and Phil are gonna view it as a problem they need to handle.

I answer here to what @ablissa posted as the last post in the previous thread.

Daniel said at the end of that coming out vid that "cute mutuals slide in the DMs". I think mutuals in this case means fellow gays. He also said that what he had with Phil was "more than romantic", and I'm struggling to figure out what that means. Is platonic more than romantic to him? He was talking in the past tense about it... I don't want to burst any phan bubbles, but maybe my perspective as a gay guy should be heard here.

He said more than just romantic, which to me read very clearly as saying that not only are they in a romantic relationship but they are also best friends and I think they take a lot of pride in the fact that they are companions in every facet of life. Not every romantic relationship is also a 'best friend' situation - some people come into romantic relationships already having platonic support and a circle of people that fill a lot of those needs. For Dan and Phil, they fill every need for each other, and it just makes me feel very fond of them that they value being best friends on the same level or higher than being romantic partners.

In other news, Phil tweeted and I didn't even realize it for like half an hour.

[waveydnp]

I answer here to what @ablissa posted as the last post in the previous thread.

Daniel said at the end of that coming out vid that "cute mutuals slide in the DMs". I think mutuals in this case means fellow gays. He also said that what he had with Phil was "more than romantic", and I'm struggling to figure out what that means. Is platonic more than romantic to him? He was talking in the past tense about it... I don't want to burst any phan bubbles, but maybe my perspective as a gay guy should be heard here.

i think if you wanna thirst after dan then you’re allowed to do that, but i don’t think many people are going to agree with you that he has room in his heart for a guy who isn’t phil. they live together, they spend holidays together, they vacation together, dan called phil his soulmate and companion through life, his literal other half... i think it’s pretty clear that dan is committed to phil and not looking for anything beyond that

[eevee]

I answer here to what @ablissa posted as the last post in the previous thread.

Daniel said at the end of that coming out vid that "cute mutuals slide in the DMs". I think mutuals in this case means fellow gays. He also said that what he had with Phil was "more than romantic", and I'm struggling to figure out what that means. Is platonic more than romantic to him? He was talking in the past tense about it... I don't want to burst any phan bubbles, but maybe my perspective as a gay guy should be heard here.

We've already discussed this in-depth (ha) right after the video came out - have you read through that already? it starts around here: viewtopic.php?f=7&t=1686&start=925

I consider it already confirmed. I think Dan's intention with the video was also to make it clear that he and Phil are together and want to keep their private life private. I genuinely don't think he thought people would selectively ignore that the entire video was in past tense to only isolate and draw conclusions from the sentences about Phil being in past tense or that people would, in light of the announcement of his sexuality, suddenly decide that jokes Dan has always made must Mean More.

I think things will feel 'confirmed' to people as Dan and Phil continue living their lives together and making it very obvious that they are, to quote Dan, companions through life. If some people stubbornly refuse to believe that counts as a relationship unless they're willing to be explicit about things then that's gonna be frustrating but I don't think Dan and Phil are gonna view it as a problem they need to handle.

Eh. Dan should know how we are. And I'm still clinging to his video description - I think he made it clear that he'll tell us more. That's just my interpretation of it

[waveydnp]

dan said he wants to keep the details of his personal life private, and so does phil. dan called phil his soulmate and they’ve been virtually inseparable for a decade, what more do y’all want? seriously. if that is not a committed romantic relationship then i don’t understand how any of this works anymore.

also @ablissa ... i feel you girl. i’m tired too

[liola]

Dan lliterally said he wants to keep this private because he's a private person AND SO IS PHIL. He knows we want to know more, he said he takes it as a compliment, but they're private.

He wouldn't say that unless there was something to talk about, but I doubt he will - not when this would've been the perfect time to do so. It's already obvious, just like "obviously, we were more than friends"

[Ablissa]

I answer here to what @ablissa posted as the last post in the previous thread.

Daniel said at the end of that coming out vid that "cute mutuals slide in the DMs". I think mutuals in this case means fellow gays. He also said that what he had with Phil was "more than romantic", and I'm struggling to figure out what that means. Is platonic more than romantic to him? He was talking in the past tense about it... I don't want to burst any phan bubbles, but maybe my perspective as a gay guy should be heard here.

I made a lengthy post about this when we first had this discussion, so I'm just going to link it here instead of re-writing what I still stand by. viewtopic.php?f=7&t=1692&p=107988#p107988

[GalaxyDarling]

@alittledizzy, if they were a couple, wouldn't they share the bedroom? If Dan was taken, why would he ask for cute mutuals to slide in his DMs? They have never kissed on or held hands. I'm not an anti, rather someone who is an outsider and is trying to look at this from a different perspective.

[jestbee]

Eh. Dan should know how we are. And I'm still clinging to his video description - I think he made it clear that he'll tell us more. That's just my interpretation of it

Dan does know how we are, but also he doesn't owe us anything. He said in his video "I'm sure a lot of you want to know more about that, which I take as a compliment, but I'm a person who likes to keep their private life private. So is Phil."

I don't think we're gunna get any further explicit explanation, and equally I don't think we should need/expect one. I don't interpret that part of his description to mean that, but more about his views on the community/social issues etc.

On a personal note, I don't really understand why this is still a conversation in this way, when if they were a straight couple then it wouldn't be, Dan saying they were soulmates and companions through life - Present tense - Would be enough.


edit to say: saying they've 'never' done something when all we've seen is what they want to show us in videos is pretty presumptive don't you think? Why should someone need to hold hands or kiss in front of an audience just to prove something that they have no interest in proving/sharing? Their relationship isn't for our consumption.

[GalaxyDarling]

I'm sorry if I sound thirsting or speculating too much. I don't want any harm for either of the boys.

[waveydnp]

@alittledizzy, if they were a couple, wouldn't they share the bedroom? If Dan was taken, why would he ask for cute mutuals to slide in his DMs? They have never kissed on or held hands. I'm not an anti, rather someone who is an outsider and is trying to look at this from a different perspective.

you don’t know that they don’t share the bedroom. they don’t do PDA because they were closeted and in dan’s own words are both private people. the cute mutuals comment was a joke, the kind he makes all the time.

imo the perspective you’re looking for is one that ignores all the actual facts.

[liola]

@alittledizzy, if they were a couple, wouldn't they share the bedroom? If Dan was taken, why would he ask for cute mutuals to slide in his DMs? They have never kissed on or held hands. I'm not an anti, rather someone who is an outsider and is trying to look at this from a different perspective.

They have never kissed or held hands in front of an audience. They do live together they can do that in private. Phil's stuff was seen in Dan's bedroom in the last live show where we saw his room and Phil basically confirmed the AP room was a set.

And Dan use humour to deflect serious topics. Or maybe he just likes compliments, the guy is a diva. Do you also think he believes global warming is worth it as long as his selfies come out good? Cause that's also a joke he made

[alittledizzy]

@alittledizzy, if they were a couple, wouldn't they share the bedroom? If Dan was taken, why would he ask for cute mutuals to slide in his DMs? They have never kissed on or held hands. I'm not an anti, rather someone who is an outsider and is trying to look at this from a different perspective.

Neither of them were out, which is a perfectly reasonable explanation to me as to why they've not put their relationship on display. We don't actually know where they slept, either, only what they wanted to show us.

[CapriciousCrab]

@alittledizzy, if they were a couple, wouldn't they share the bedroom? If Dan was taken, why would he ask for cute mutuals to slide in his DMs? They have never kissed on or held hands. I'm not an anti, rather someone who is an outsider and is trying to look at this from a different perspective.

Not dizzy but I'm just trying to clarify- are you saying that you won't believe that they're a romantic couple unless they perform on camera for you? That can't be what you mean, right?

[knq]

I answer here to what @ablissa posted as the last post in the previous thread.

Daniel said at the end of that coming out vid that "cute mutuals slide in the DMs". I think mutuals in this case means fellow gays. He also said that what he had with Phil was "more than romantic", and I'm struggling to figure out what that means. Is platonic more than romantic to him? He was talking in the past tense about it... I don't want to burst any phan bubbles, but maybe my perspective as a gay guy should be heard here.

Mutuals are the people who you are following on twitter who are also following you back. You can't DM someone on twitter unless you're mutuals. (Apologies if you already knew that, I wasn't sure.)

Dan explains what he means by "more than just romantic" right after he says it:

22:14 "And this is when, through the magic of the internet, I met Phil. And obviously we were more than friends but it was more than just romantic. This is someone that genuinely liked me. I trusted them. And for the first time since I was a tiny child, I actually felt safe."

Seeing that quoted, I wonder if a more crude but more accurate phrasing would have been "more than just sexual." Because I can see having a sexual relationship with someone who doesn't "genuinely like" you or who you don't trust, but those things sort of seem embedded in the concept of romance to me. Maybe not to Dan though.

eta: love the thread name It's a magical era

[GalaxyDarling]

Not dizzy but I'm just trying to clarify- are you saying that you won't believe that they're a romantic couple unless they perform on camera for you? That can't be what you mean, right?

Well, not if they wish to be private about it, which seems to be the case here... If they were more candid about the rs then maybe it could be expected that they held hands on camera or something.

[Ablissa]

you don’t know that they don’t share the bedroom. they don’t do PDA because they were closeted and in dan’s own words are both private people. the cute mutuals comment was a joke, the kind he makes all the time.

imo the perspective you’re looking for is one that ignores all the actual facts.

This, oh my god so much this.

On a personal note, I don't really understand why this is still a conversation in this way, when if they were a straight couple then it wouldn't be, Dan saying they were soulmates and companions through life - Present tense - Would be enough.

I'm so tired of the whole conversation really.
I never thought they'd publicly come out, but they did. I'm so happy and so proud of them.
I never thought they'd publicly confirm their relationship, but they did.

But I also NEVER EVER thought that this fandom, once they did come out and confirm their relationship, would then... go into denial? I mean, if I thought about it in advance, I may have prepared for it (since this fandom is very prone to denial). But as I never even considered coming out as a real option, I was entirely unprepared for this.

It's not just IDB, it's mainly twitter and tumblr. People referring to them as platonic and talking about friendship. People slapping labels onto them that aren't what they choose to go by (God, the whole conversation about them being bi as opposed to gay...).

Why does a queer couple literally need to shout it from the rooftops for people to even consider it might be true? If they were a straight couple, no one would question anything for years. But since they're not, people still have to doubt it. I'm tired, really tired.

[alittledizzy]

22:14 "And this is when, through the magic of the internet, I met Phil. And obviously we were more than friends but it was more than just romantic. This is someone that genuinely liked me. I trusted them. And for the first time since I was a tiny child, I actually felt safe."

Seeing that quoted, I wonder if a more crude but more accurate phrasing would have been "more than just sexual." Because I can see having a sexual relationship with someone who doesn't "genuinely like" you or who you don't trust, but those things sort of seem embedded in the concept of romance to me. Maybe not to Dan though.

I think since Dan was coming out of a three* year relationship with someone that did not make him feel safe and that he did not trust and seemed to imply did not always like him (since he referred to himself as a bad boyfriend) being with Phil in a healthier more mutual relationship probably did feel like a revelation.

(*three being what Dan said on formspring years ago but given the timeline in his video I'm no longer sure it was that long)

[Ablissa]

Not dizzy but I'm just trying to clarify- are you saying that you won't believe that they're a romantic couple unless they perform on camera for you? That can't be what you mean, right?

Well, not if they wish to be private about it, which seems to be the case here... If they were more candid about the rs then maybe it could be expected that they held hands on camera or something.

Sorry for doubleposting but like, they were closeted, why would they hold hands?
I'm starting to suspect you're just trying to get a rise out of people, so I'll stop engaging from this post on.

[eevee]

@alittledizzy, if they were a couple, wouldn't they share the bedroom? If Dan was taken, why would he ask for cute mutuals to slide in his DMs? They have never kissed on or held hands. I'm not an anti, rather someone who is an outsider and is trying to look at this from a different perspective.

They do share a bed. I'm trying to find that screenshot where Dan goes into Phil's room and he's in one side of the bed, the other side clearly recently inhabited - pillow messed up, a deadass sheet crease down the middle of the bed, and the blanket pushed aside diagonally as if someone got out on the other side. Anyone have that handy? I can't find it.

Genuine question, are you new to the phandom?

[GalaxyDarling]

I'm curious to see their next video together, or just seeing them together, period, whenever that may be. At Pride possibly? I mean to see if their dynamic is different now as out gays compared to the closeted for the public period.

[Secretstanner]

I just registered after lurking since Dan came out. I'm a gay guy myself . I find Dan mighty handsome .

I'd like to ask you all is it feasible that Dan and Phil are not boyfriends? It seems like Dan might be looking for a boyfriend, or at least open for that idea? Phil is more of a question mark, though he seems more lowkey about it anyway. Not that I could have Dan, lol, but I'm wondering if there is room for another guy in his heart?

Hey. So to answer you question No I don’t see much chance of dnp not being in a relationship. Not at this point in time anyway after both these videos I don’t really think many people are of the opinion of them being these two single bachelors. 2 years ago when I made my account I was someone probably called a anti which I wasn’t a anti, I was never against the Idea of them being together and I never had a problem with people believing they were. At that point I didn’t think I knew enough to think they were still together which I did believe they were from the start.

(Read more)
When I read that dan is giving off the impression he’s looking for a boyfriend I mean I just don’t see it. I kinda find it laughable tbh. Dnp are probably two of the most self aware youtubers when I comes to themselves and also their audience. Dan and Phil planned to come out together, I don’t think Phil just tagged along this year. I think they were both ready last year but put it on pause. Here’s what we know from the two videos. Dan is gay/ queer, Phil is also gay, they were in a relationship and Phils mum found out he was gay from having dan people stay the night a lot. The way dan said “I bet so many people wanna know so much more about that” was the fondest moment I’ve seen from him. If they had some breakup I doubt he would share that he is aware that what the pair of them have is special and that’s why people want to know.

Do I think if dan and Phil broke up they could still be friends and live together? Yes I do but not for this long. Not for them to bring other partners into the house that they share. And definitely not after them saying there is a possibility of getting a dog when a house is bought. Plus the information we now have of them actually looking to buy a house even if it was to flip it. I don’t actually believe dan was telling millions of people on the internet to please slide into his DMs to fuck him when he literally said in the video I want to keep my private life off the internet. That would be a massive contradiction even for it to come from someone like dan lol

So let me get back to dan and Phil being self aware and knowing what impression they are giving off. To outsiders and insiders with both of them coming out gives off ‘were are both queer, have lived together for 10 years, confirmed that yes were together, this is what we plan to do in the future and you don’t need to know anything more’

I don’t think we are going to get anymore than we got. No holding hands, no photos overly close. As dan said it’s dangers to let people get invested in the story of your life. And for dan and Phil it definitely is. I think things will just come naturally they’ll probably buy a house and not really put much detail into it other than their moving or them getting a dog. All I’m saying is they are giving of the impression we are together and with dan making a joke about being wanting cute people to slide into his DMs, I find it funny how a joke so small can out way what they have shown us so far.

Sorry this was so long TLDR I get it haha I’ve been trying to give my opinion on here more. I think their are people that stand out on here and I’ve never really given my opinion on their current relationship so I thought I’d give it a go. [Hide=][/Hide]

Bye

I’ve completely forgotten how to hide my response. If anyone could help me out and hide everything from the second paragraph down I’d appreciate it. It’s lengthy and I’d rather just respond once’s instead of having to answer separate questions for what galaxy darling has.