Dan & Phil Part 93: Fomosexual

[flarequake]

This has been an interesting few days hearing all these viewpoints, and between mental health and coming out after a long time of not saying it, it has seemed to me that Dan might be dealing with a lot. I had more on that swirling somewhere, but my energy and brain are elusive lately, sideways backpain is

Hypocritical, hmm. I guess, though we also talk about everything else here away from them. Maybe it’s not the same, still topics of all personal natures have come up here. Understanding Dan has been a byproduct, if not the full intention, of many posts this year, even as we often do it without him, in the longest fricking community game of ‘it took time to understand the man’ (’Chess’ the musical reference). Do we think he wants us to understand him or, you know, I can’t remember where I was going with that, bloody hell. Today has been a pain.

I have done my best to understand the going quiet on us while having my own feelings about it and yeah, he is privileged to be able to step away and still have part of his job and us to come back to. I know how mental health affects work very well to the point of having none and ‘brain says no’ to a lot of it now unless it’s of my own devising and then, heh, payment. Still, I like him a lot and want to think the best of him. I’m not sure what it might take to actually stop liking him so much.

As people have said, he’s not the only one out there to ever experience these things, but he is 50% of the topic of this forum, so discussing him as if he’s particularly important is kinda what we’re doing here. I guess without him telling us much, though he has told us some, we are going round in circles and coming to our own conclusions. I’m not sure I said anything new there.

Oh good, top of the page with my brain-fuzz

[madzilla84]

As alluded to above, I can't really jive with the idea that he hasn't been posting because he's dividing 100% of his time between working furiously on a yet-to-be-announced project and suffering over rediscovering himself after coming out and his mental health? Like, he's a human being; I'm sure he has had rough times with all of those things in the last 6 months, they're big things that are tough to work through for anyone. (Even though you never really *stop* discovering yourself or changing.) And he's a very all-or-nothing creator. But I find it hard to believe that that would lead to the situation we're in now, where he only posts at all when there's merch to be sold (or presumably when there's a project to be promoted). I noticed he hasn't even promoed the current merch sale, leaving that to Phil once again. And as mentioned previously, once he *does* drop whatever project it is, for most people all will be forgotten and forgiven, and then it'll be right back to being ghosted again.

Also, as we've seen from the few things he has posted (particularly holidays), and fan encounters, it seems like, if anything, he's happier than he has been for a long time, maybe ever (caveat: obviously it's impossible to tell from social media how someone's really feeling, I don't know him, I can't see inside his head, etc etc). Which is obviously a very good thing. But from all of this, I can only assume he's made a conscious choice to stop sharing ... well, anything, it would seem, and it's a shame he didn't also choose to share why (or that) he was stopping.

I feel like I probably don't need to add this to my posts, but just in case, the reason I think about this so much and post about it is because I'm just very sad about it all and I miss him, and am trying to work through that and understand, but without any additional info I obviously can't fully. I appreciate all the discussion and thoughts here though.

(This post inspired by all of your excellent posts, and seeing a 0.02 second vlog clip on Twitter of D&P at the Star Wars premiere.)

[Becky.rigby]

Phil liveshow is over wonder why he decided to leave 15 minutes earlier than normal. Was an ok liveshow :/ its difficult as i just feel so disconnected to them now and I'm starting to not really care because it seems like they don't care as much as they used to(evidence with Dan), so why should I. And talking about star wars and stuff that feels like ages ago now just seems a bit meh. Was nice to see some gifts he was given for Christmas though.

[alittledizzy]

I'll just be in the corner being warm and happy because Cornelia and Martyn basically got Dan and Phil a double date experience for Christmas. I love that he just so casually that it was a gift for both of them.

I love Phil's face. I'm happy I got to see it today.

Also thanks for this gesture, Phil, I'm sure it won't be misused by anyone, anywhere.

[blahblahblah8]

Younow is so garbage that it takes away from the quality of the live show by a lot on days like today where it lags so much. Anyways it was nice to see Phil and I enjoyed him talking about his holidays and outings. I hope he goes back to playing games in the coming live shows!

[Phanshy]

The live show was a bit disappointing the technical issues or more so the talk about it were kinda a distraction. Hopefully it'll be better next week. I guess we got our answer about the Star Wars photo.

[CapriciousCrab]

It sounds like they had a lovely holiday and I'm jealous of those cakes, they sound delicious!

I'm so curious about the bird board game... how does birdwatching turn competitive? Lol

[Susanisnotafish]

Phil liveshow is over wonder why he decided to leave 15 minutes earlier than normal. Was an ok liveshow :/ its difficult as i just feel so disconnected to them now and I'm starting to not really care because it seems like they don't care as much as they used to(evidence with Dan), so why should I. And talking about star wars and stuff that feels like ages ago now just seems a bit meh. Was nice to see some gifts he was given for Christmas though.

I was glad he talked about how it was pouring down rain on the red carpet and that led to “him” read as “both of them” not getting good suit shots. To me that explains Dan not instagraming the premiere. He wouldn’t want a bad photo. Phil said the lighting was bad too. It did seem very short, but that was probably bc he didn’t play a game, maybe due to the lag.

[bevioletsky]

Also thanks for this gesture, Phil, I'm sure it won't be misused by anyone, anywhere.

This was the exact moment when YouNow decided to permanently freeze for me so take that as you will?

I still hate that bloody site, I found today’s show to be the laggiest of the ones I’ve watched live since the very first one last year, so I’m waiting for him to upload to see the rest. What I caught was really nice though, I missed his face.

[liola]

I guess I was the only one without lagging?? Weird as usually younow is shit for me. I don't know how phil doesn't get frustrated with it I swear, with how many times the site crashes when he's online. I would close after 5 mins I think (there go my plans of streaming games lmao no patience)

He looked so good today, like even more than usual? He was such a good sight and sounded relaxed and fun as usual. I also loved him talking about his wallet and how people kinda make fun of him for not having a proper one, but i love that he stays true to who he is

[knq]

Having been live-streaming 8 odd years Phil’s definitely had time to build coping skills around technical mishaps. I treasure some of their early liveshows where they apparently broke YouNow entirely for several hours, had to stream from the lounge because the WiFi wasn’t strong enough in the bedrooms, couldn’t read the chat when fans took snapshots, etc etc. They must have been frustrating to watch in real time but I find them charming.

Watching a bunch of Mark(iplier), Bob, and Wade’s podcast gaming live-streams recently, it seems like a lot of the youtuber/twitch streamer job is just dealing with computer things that invariably Go Wrong.

[flarequake]

The wallet is cute, I watched a video from 11th January 2014 yesterday, kissing a plasma ball, no intention re the date, just funny coincidence, and he’d just got the Marvel wallet with crotchy Spiderman. He was cutting down to 45 minutes before as he did in recent years anyway, it’s a shame and a bit ‘lol, bye’, but he seems happier doing a bit less It was fun, nice to see him again and hear a reason for no good premiere photos It’s nice to hear a reason, their thoughts, whatever, rather than us all just guess. His bad snack review was hilarious. Cereal bar and water is probably meant to be healthier, though not really cos they’re very sugary and plain popcorn is probably better. Messier, perhaps, though, if people spill it Does Phil like it salty? Caramel popcorn is obvs quite sugary too. Did anyone read what his jumper said?

[itasca00]

I'm so curious about the bird board game... how does birdwatching turn competitive? Lol

It really has nothing to do with birdwatching, but it is all about birds. You play different cards with drawings of real-life birds on them. They all have unique abilities that affect the game in different ways, and there are pieces of trivia about the birds written on the cards. I think it's a lot of fun, especially if you like birds!

[knq]

So like. Nothing new to talk about until next week or the week after?

I miss the feeling of an active fandom as much or more than I do regular dnp content. I’ve struggled and come to some terms with the loss of DAPG and other things over this last year, but it’s just lately I feel I really miss the active discussions within the fandom about what we’d all just watched on DAPG.

[felucca]

I missed out on the Dan talk yesterday but I'll add to it anyway because why not, it's not like much else is happening.

I've been thinking a lot lately about a throwaway comment Dan made in one of his old liveshows (in like 2016?) where he mentions Bo Burnham. For those who don't know Bo's an OG youtuber who quickly jumped over to doing musical standup comedy. In his liveshow Dan admires Bo, saying he'd do what Bo does if only he were braver, or something along those lines (please someone dig up the clip because I'm probably misquoting it to hell, I haven't watched it since it happened).

I didn't think much of it at the time because I never watched Bo Burnham, but since Dan and Phil have been so boring lately I finally got into him and... jeez. The Dan/Bo parallels are there, aren't they? I'm actually surprised they aren't mentioned together more often, as they share a similar trajectory of blowing up (too) young and ending up anxiously imploding under the pressure of performing.

Bo addresses this directly in his last comedy special "Make Happy", that he toured with roughly around the same time Dan and Phil toured with Tatinof. It aired on Netflix in 2016 and I'm presuming that's the show mainly on Dan's mind when he talks about Bo in his liveshow. In the final number of his show Bo says his biggest problem is his audience, and wanting to please them while also staying true to himself. Sound familiar? He also says that if you can live your life without an audience, you should.

Here's the trailer to Make Happy and Bo's infamous Kanye rant from the end of it. Yes, Dan and Bo even share the same love for Kanye West - and I dare you, I freaking dare you to watch Bo perform that song and not think about Dan at any point during it.




After finishing the Make Happy tour in 2016 Bo ducked out of the spotlight on a comedy break that is still ongoing, instead directing a movie on the theme of growing up constantly connected to social media.

Edited to add that I love the fan edit community for making so many phan videos set to Bo Burnham songs, my hearttt.

[flarequake]

Ohh, that is a very interesting comparison, I mean, interesting is too mild a word, they just are, aren’t they. I had seen some of Bo’s work before, mostly his left/right brain song set to a few animatics, a very good one of Dan and Phil, and also by someone called plumblebee. They’re both very sharp and clever in their thoughts and observations, and pretty raw at times. That’s what first drew me to Dan, his funny videos were also so clever and quick.

I wondered where the heck the Kanye rant one was going and when it did, oh boy, yes, and the staging is so apt.

He’s on his knees, bending his head, partly introspective and not looking at the audience, also he’s wearing grey and the cool-white lighting is intensely just on him while the rest of the stage is dark. When he gets up, the light turns warmer and he’s back to burritos again.

His 8th Grade movie has been on my list for a while, I’ve been taking ages to get to some things. It sounds like one you need a bit of brain energy for, but maybe I’ll watch it soon.

My first thought was ‘well, this would be interesting to hear about from Dan’s perspective’ so, lol, that’s ironic, we’ll wait and see what he has to say to us again. Bo having a break since 2016, well, directing a movie is a pretty consuming thing, but still it’s occurred to me a few times that Dan might need more than a year, who knows, and if/when he returns it wouldn’t be the same. Man needs to grow and change. I‘ve realised myself recently that it’s taken me a few years for certain things, mostly work and stress related, it’s surprising what a process it can be.

That phan edit too, phew, it goes places especially since it’s focusing on Dan.

[bluecaterpillar]

i missed phil's liveshow so also jumping back to put my two cents into the dan discussion.

yes, it's a shame he's not talking to us more, and it's not great for audience retention, etc etc, but who knows what he wants from his audience anymore until he tells us? it's confusing and frustrating when he ghosts us for a month at a time and then goes on holiday and posts tons of photos, but endlessly speculating on why he's not talking to us isn't going to bring out any definite answers because only dan can tell us what's inside his head. this year i'm giving up on analysing his twitter likes and whatever else and instead just waiting for his mystery project/any other communication directly from him. like capriciouscrab said, i'll leave him in peace, if he wants to share then he can. also, gonna put my hand up and say that i'm still looking forward to his mystery project because as much as dan may frustrate me sometimes, i am still very fond of him as a creator and as a person. i mean, he went silent for the first half of last year and people weren't happy about it, then big happened and the general reaction was 'okay, makes sense why he disappeared for a while.' maybe something similar will happen this time around. or maybe he doesn't care about people leaving out of annoyance, in which case it's his audience to throw away, i guess?

re the suggestion he's working on a memoir: as much as i would love to read that, it does seem too early in his life/career/being out to write a book reflecting on those things. and surely any in-depth discussion of the last decade would require him to talk about about him and phil whereas he's been clear he doesn't want to share and monetise their relationship now that they're out. maybe a tell-all book would work better in 10 years' time when there's a bit more distance, but i also find it hard to imagine him being that open. imo with dan there's a conflict between wanting to share his experiences and personality and opinions, and wanting to live without being watched by an audience. the bo burnham comparison is really fascinating in that respect.

[lefthandedism]

I saw the Bo Burnham movie a while ago (must have been on a plane); I didn't think it was groundbreaking (still had a fair number of movie cliches), but it was pretty good and I'd recommend.



As for Dan's mysterious project, I personally think a book would be great. Plenty of excellent (or even just good) books have been written by people in their twenties--novels, non-fiction, even memoirs. The thing about a book (tabinof/dapgo notwithstanding) is that it has the potential to reach a wider/different audience than what Dan currently has. That is, it needn't depend on his current fanbase, which is why Dan may not be that invested in keeping us around.

Even the memoir of a twentysomething YouTuber can get a respectible reception: Tyler Oakley's memoir "Binge" is an obivous precedent. (I read it before I'd even seen many of his videos and thought it was a perfectly well-written and entertaining lightweight memoir.)

[Amiaw]

A maybe possible dan update in this thread

[poweroftriangles]

Offtopic: I got my first ever deppy stickers today! They were bigger than I expected. As was the doodle planner!

Also I got a spare Dan for some reason. I count that as content. That's all I have to say on the latest Danscourse.

[flarequake]

Lol, Danscourse. Those stickers are huge, they’re so cute. Lucky day to get an extra.

Dan’s twitch settings? Lol, okay. I mean, maybe

[Amiaw]

It’s a big if but if he did stream on twitch I would be upset and it would all be because of how he handled it. I wouldn’t care if he took up something like this if he had been talking to us but after killing dapg, ignoring it completely, and then talking about a huge project to explain it all away it would just make it look like he’s just making things up.
Idk. It’s dan so it’s probably nothing and nothing really to get worked up about but trying to understand his actions just gives me headaches

[madzilla84]

I wouldn’t mind it, mainly because I just want to see him do something, anything, at this point; but I agree it’d sting a bit after the loss of DAPG. But honestly I can’t imagine it at all, unless it was just a one-off thing for charity or something. It’s probably just housekeeping (though admittedly I don’t know a lot about twitch).

[Becky.rigby]

I dont really know much about twitch, but i just would love for Dan to do something at this point. If he is going through a bad patch, it can't be healthy doing nothing all day and I can't see dan doing that, it doesn't seem like him. That is why i think he is doi g something behind the scenes, but i can't see why twitch would take 6 months and mean he had to stop communicating with us as much. It would explain the lack of liveshows though i guess?

[flarequake]

I’d be confused since he’s seemed to need or want such a lot less audience engagement, unless a year has been enough, and it doesn’t seem a candidate for a new project, unless it’s more than just the usual streaming. It would be funny if he dropped youtube, took a year off and then just switched platforms for a different kind of video. Unless he’s purely up for some liveshows again and doesn’t want a YouNow contract or to use youtube either. Goodness, so much speculation, idk.

I don’t think he’s doing nothing, he’s been working on this project and there was also the merch. He said something about Norman taking up his free time so he sounded busy.