Dan & Phil Part 93: Fomosexual

[Tornbetweenfandoms]

My fave thing about this vid was that zero anecdotes mentioned Dan by name and mostly occured pre-dan. Yet Dan appears 3 times in the video as for the last ten years he's just always been there whenever anything happened.

[flarequake]

I’m not sure I need half an hour of him doing this sort of thing, but yeah, I could manage 20 mins I guess. I get put off by most people’s videos partly due to their length, but I do watch whatever Phil does. This was hilarious and boy his hair looks good, the bright light really brings out all its shades even thought it’s looked almost black in some photos recently. That jumper is huge on him, maybe they didn’t have his size or he’s doing a Dan. The bug eating, he did drop himself in it in that chopstick video, which was one of their funniest ever, Dan was especially good in that. Serious angry Phil always seems scary compared to his cheerful video self, but I can understand his annoyance, I definitely wouldn’t be there for something like that.

[gnostic]

Man it still does feel surreally happy to hear Phil say "I am gay" so casually

[obsessivelymoody]

Okay you know what? I should have mentioned that Phil put me on the edge of my seat with that 18+ option he blacked out because "no comment" = "yes", and now I NEED to know.

[Birdie]

If Phil were to write a book with all his weird university stories, I'd buy it so fast... Loved the video. I like that his Bob Ross painting was in the background, beautiful choice. And I loved that he revisited the badger prank, I loved that so much back then.

[CapriciousCrab]

He makes me laugh so much! A silly video concept maybe but the way he tells a story and isn't afraid to poke fun at himself in a healthy way makes him so fun to watch.

Did anyone keep track of how many questions he dodged or didn't answer? The adult one which I'm dying to know about, the sugar daddy, the toe... any others?

[alittledizzy]

Okay you know what? I should have mentioned that Phil put me on the edge of my seat with that 18+ option he blacked out because "no comment" = "yes", and now I NEED to know.

Someone on tumblr looked up the site and said the two that matched the phrasing and spacing were "had sex on an airplane" and "had semen on my face" so make of that what you will.

[obsessivelymoody]

Okay you know what? I should have mentioned that Phil put me on the edge of my seat with that 18+ option he blacked out because "no comment" = "yes", and now I NEED to know.

Someone on tumblr looked up the site and said the two that matched the phrasing and spacing were "had sex on an airplane" and "had semen on my face" so make of that what you will.

Hmmmm I'm gonna go "no comment" on the second one HOWEVER I would like to bring everyone's attention to this timestamp from the poptropica video here.

[greenergrass]

He keeps talking about pee. Help us.

phil ffs stop begging me to come back and write more omo fic

but no really, I loved that video. I love phil. He's just such an entertaining story teller, and he keeps getting better with time

[liola]

I'm the woman about to literally get married and seeing Phil in a bar and be like ah yes, gotta smash

I love him, he has such a funny timing and everytime he says he's gay so comfortably a year is added to my life. It made me smile so big, I could've listened to him for 20 more minutes

[stufflizloves]

serious question. i do not live in london so i have no idea but:

are foxes in metro london a thing???? is that like rats in new york or raccoons in the alley? i legit had to pause with confusion when he said foxes were mating outside of his window. is it just the american in me that thinks of foxes as bucolic ??

[yellowsubmarine]

Yeah it was a nice video. Short and sweet. It was 10 minutes but it sure felt like less.

-----------------

On the topic of Dan and standup/late shows. I don't know. I think he'll be too awkward for that. Yeh he's funny but on the youtube scene iykwim.

I could see him interested in a writing job, behind the scenes. The more lowkey the better.

But if you asked me if he ever decided to livestream, in any platform he chooses, I'll be the first there watching. I miss his waffling and liveshows like nothing else ever. He's still very interesting to me and an amazing storyteller but only bc there's no cues or edits.

I want him to livestream so bad. *longest sigh ever*

[CapriciousCrab]

serious question. i do not live in london so i have no idea but:

are foxes in metro london a thing???? is that like rats in new york or raccoons in the alley? i legit had to pause with confusion when he said foxes were mating outside of his window. is it just the american in me that thinks of foxes as bucolic ??

I'm curious about this too! You could definitely hear something screeching outside when he stopped talking but I didn't think foxes would be trotting around apartment buildings? I live in an American suburb and we don't see them very often so i was confused.

[Phanshy]

are foxes in metro london a thing???? is that like rats in new york or raccoons in the alley? i legit had to pause with confusion when he said foxes were mating outside of his window. is it just the american in me that thinks of foxes as bucolic ??

Absolutely there are a lot of urban foxes in all cities across the UK, a lot of them have no fear of humans, there's a fair bit of controversy surrounding people feeding foxes, especially a few years ago when one came in through a open door and bit a baby.

[stufflizloves]

are foxes in metro london a thing???? is that like rats in new york or raccoons in the alley? i legit had to pause with confusion when he said foxes were mating outside of his window. is it just the american in me that thinks of foxes as bucolic ??

Absolutely there are a lot of urban foxes in all cities across the UK, a lot of them have no fear of humans, there's a fair bit of controversy surrounding people feeding foxes, especially a few years ago when one came in through a open door and bit a baby.

WOW that is bonkers, i literally had no clue

[knq]

I would just like to point out 0:38 where you can see for just a moment that Phil actually has the website up on his phone. Thank you, Phil! Yes, Phil! Actually reacting to things as they happen rather than making a list and pretending to react when we can clearly see your phone isn't even on. Points to you! All the points to Phil!

The website he's using for most questions is neverhaveever.com

After the first Dirty category question Phil says we're going to the Funny category. We do not. If Phil filmed them in order (which I doubt he did but the thought amuses me) it is only after the breast milk question that he leaves the Dirty category.

All questions and answers:

1. Censored. Category: Dirty.
   Phil: No answer
2. "Put my thumb in it" does not exist. However "Put a thumb in it" does and it is in the Dirty category. I'll leave it up to you to decide what the 'it' is.
   Phil: No answer
3. "Tasted breast milk" Category: Dirty, Adult.
   Phil: No as an adult, yes as a baby.
4. "Tried to discreetly pick a wedgie in public". Category: Funny, Clean.
   Phil: Yes
5. "Had a sugar daddy" Category: Adult, Drinking Game.
   Phil: No answer
6. "Eaten bugs" Category: Clean, Dare, Funny, Good.
   Phil: Yes
7. "Dyed my bath water" Category: Clean, Funny.
   Phil: No as an adult, yes as a child -- under the assumption that dye and urine are the same substance.
8. "Peed in a bottle" Category: Clean, Dare, Funny, Good.
   Phil: No as an adult, yes as a child.
   Phil wants to know why all the questions have been about peeing. This is the only question that has been about peeing.
9. "Kissed someone married" does not exist. Actually only one question contains the word married: "Had sex with a married person" Category: Dirty.
   Phil: Yes -- to the kissing and presumably not the sex.
10. "Locked somebody in a room". Category: Clean, Funny, Good.
    Phil: No answer
11. "Tried watching TV upside down". Category: Clean, Funny.
    Phil: No
12. "Been chased by a cat". Category: Clean, Funny, Kids.
    Phil: No
13. "Broken something expensive because I was angry" Category: Adult, Funny.
    When Phil puts this question on screen he's removed the word expensive but he does read it.
    Phil: No answer
14. "Killed someone" does not seem to exist.
    Phil: No answer
15. "Pranked my parents" is listed on the main page as an example Funny category question. I can't find it elsewhere.
    Phil: Yes
16. "Not cleaned my teeth for 48 hours" is another one on the main page under Funny
    Phil: No
17. "Dyed my hair the wrong color" is another. I think Phil's just working off the main page now.
    Phil: Yes, with photo evidence
18. "Been kicked out of a bar" Category: Clean, Drinking Game, Funny.
    Phil: Yes
19. "Hacked into someone's computer" does not seem to exist. Phil's gone rouge.
    Phil: No
20. "Used an emoji while texting" Category: Adult
    Phil:
21. "Ridden a motorcycle" Category: Icebreaker, Work
    Phil: No
22. "Doubted my heterosexuality" appears to be a question from a different website.
    Phil:
23. "Been robbed" is also from the above website.
    Phil: No
24. "Tasted a toe" isn't from either website and Googling it returns exactly 5 results, 2 of which are discussing Phil's video.
    Phil: just fucking with us now

[noodlebum]

Love that Phil went rogue with tasted a toe what a mad man.

Also yes we get urban foxes all over the place. I live in an English suburb and we have them walking around brazen like a bloody pet cat sometimes. And they make ultra loud horrible mating noises which sounds like a baby crying, very disturbing.

[poweroftriangles]

Damn, great receipts knq, sneaky Phil adding some things in there JUST to mention toe sucking. Okay.

Also, I don't think we've even seen this picture? Interesting to know how far back his pancake brand goes. I'd have been traumatised if someone did the poster thing to me though

[Birdie]

Also yes we get urban foxes all over the place. I live in an English suburb and we have them walking around brazen like a bloody pet cat sometimes. And they make ultra loud horrible mating noises which sounds like a baby crying, very disturbing.

The noises they make are so creepy. When I first got to the UK I had no idea about the urban foxes and they freaked me out so bad. And there I was thinking we had all the creepy wildlife up north with bears and stuff. The foxes were kind of worse, at least a bear never came into my backgarden and yelled at me, lol.

[flarequake]

Yeah, fox noises sound like something’s being killed half the time, or just like coughing. Unless I am hearing something else, but it happens quite often. My cat once got cornered by her catflap and wouldn’t turn around, fox ran off when I appeared and she just comes inside if she sees one, but if she was ill, convalescing or doddery in old age, I might not let her out. They do come around in the daytime these days so they’re bolder or hungrier than a few years ago. I’m in the suburbs where we have back gardens all along, though, so I was still surprised the guys get them too, I think they’re somewhere more built up anyway, but yeah, we have taken their habitat, so they still live near us, or moved closer. They’re calling to each other rather than yelling at us, but that’s a funny thought.

[parallel]

Oh yeah, urban foxes are everywhere in the UK, or at least the part where I live. I see foxes pretty much every day just by looking outside of my window.

It can be quite disturbing because you also see fox roadkill. I was walking along a busy suburban road a few days ago and there was just a dead fox on the pavement in front of me.

Also, props to knq for compiling that!

[Tornbetweenfandoms]

Since it's quiet on here...
Hypothetically, Dan's secret project is a memoir.

What's it called?

[madzilla84]

‘full-time internet homo’?

[liola]

"Through the magic of the internet"

[itasca00]

I had a great time watching Phil’s latest video! I thought it was funny, and we got lots of cute anecdotes from the past! Here are my highlights:

• The first thing I noticed was that Phil has added his painting from his last video to his video background.
• [0:53] For this video, Phil is playing “Never Have I Ever” on this website. To start, he wants to check how dirty the “Dirty” category is. The prompt he gets is, “Never have I ever had [censored],” and his reaction indicates that the censored part is quite dirty. He responds rather suspiciously, “No comment.” I find it endlessly amusing using the same website Phil used and imagining which prompt Phil might have been responding to. Some possibilities from the website include:
  Never have I ever:

  • had a one night stand.
  • had to use lubrication.
  • had to fake it.
  • had an STD.
  • had an relative walk in while I was getting it on.
  • had a dirty crush on somebody in this circle.
  • had a *dream* about a professor.
  • had done it while in the shower.
  • had done it with more than one person within 24 hours.
  • had a clingy partner.
  • had semen on my face.
  • had sex in a group setting.
  • had Skype sex.
  • had unintentionally brief sex.
  • had sex in a tent.
  • had sex with a virgin.
  • had anal sex.
  • had sex in front of an audience.
  • had sex with someone I met on Tinder.
  • had sex more than 5 times in one day.
  • had sex on a picnic bench.
  • had sex in a friend’s bed.
  • had sex in a dressing room.
  • had a threesome.
  • had sex in the back of a pickup truck.
  • had an STD scare!
  • had sex with a coworker.
  • had sex with the same guy/girl for 10 years.
  • had sex with someone 10+ years older than me.
  • had sex on an airplane.
  • had sex in the forest.
  • had to jump through a window to not get caught with a sexual partner.
  • had unprotected sex with someone without knowing if they were STD free.
  • had sex in front of other people.
  • had sex on a lunch break.
  • had sex with more than one person at the same time.
  • had sex with a married person.
  • had to show how to/help a guy unhook a bra.
  • had unprotected sex.
  • had to explain sex bruises.
  • had to leave a partners house naked.
  • had sex in a moving vehicle.
  • had sex on a golf course.
  • had revenge sex.
  • had sex while at a party.
  • had sex with someone with tattoos.
  • had a friend-turned-fuck buddy.
  • had sex in a toilet.
  • had sex on a trampoline.
  • had unprotected sex with a one night stand.
  • had sex out of pity.
  • had sex with two different races in one day.
  • had sex on the first date.
  • had sex in a sleeping bag.
  • had sex on the beach.
  • had sex with someone with back dimples.
  • had sex while high.
  • had phone sex.
  • had sex at school.
  • had sex in the same room where somone else was sleeping.
  • had a sexual experience that included edible underwear.
• [1:18] Phil gets the prompt, “Never have I ever tried to discreetly pick a wedgie in public,” and the short response is that he has done this. As part of his response, however, he reveals:

  P: I get wedgies quite a lot.

• [1:52] Phil gets the prompt, “Never have I ever had a sugar daddy.” In response, he references the following monologue from RuPaul’s Drag Race:

  Shangela: I don't have a sugar daddy, sweetheart. Everything that I've had, I've worked for, and I worked for to get, and I've built myself. So you need to know that one hundred percent. I don't have a sugar daddy. I've never had a sugar daddy. If I wanted a sugar daddy, yes, I probably can go out and get one, because I am what? Sickening. You could never have a sugar daddy because you are not that kind of girl. Baby, everything I've had I worked for, and I've gotten myself. I built myself from the ground up, fucking bitch!

  I like to think that Phil has this entire monologue memorized, and he meant to say that every word of it is perfectly applicable to his own life.
• [2:25] Phil gets the prompt, “Never have I ever peed in a bottle.” He thinks he’s done this on occasional road trips when he was a kid, and he’s also peed in the woods as an adult.
• [2:48] Phil gets the prompt, “Never have I ever kissed someone married.” Apparently, when he was in college, there was a time he was in a bar and really had to pee. A drunk bride-to-be having her bachelorette party blocked the way to the bathroom and refused to let him through until he gave her a kiss, so he decided to give her a peck on the lips.
• [4:24] Phil gets the prompt, “Never have I ever broken something because I was angry.” He says he doesn’t get “Hulk” angry, but he can bottle things up and hold a grudge. However, there was a time in college when he got very angry with one of his housemates for distributing on campus a flyer with a picture of him he didn’t like (shown at [4:47]) that said to call his actual phone number for some “pancake lovin’.”
• [5:41] Phil gets the prompt, “Never have I ever pranked my parents.” When he was a kid, Phil told his mom that he had seen a man going into their shed, but he quickly had to confess that it wasn’t true because his mom’s first instinct was to call the police.
• [7:07] Phil explains that some foxes are mating near his apartment, and their mating noises sound like “death screams.” He then says:

  P: Can you stop having sex outside my window, Mr. Fox?

• [7:18] Phil gets the prompt, “Never have I ever been kicked out of a bar.” He and his friends were kicked out of a bar because they decided to take a picture with a boat behind a bar without asking permission.
• [8:34] Phil gets the prompt, “Never have I ever been robbed.” He hasn’t, but he does remember a time when he was tricked out of his money by a man pretending to have a broken down car.
• [9:00] Phil gets the prompt, “Never have I ever tasted a toe.” He says he hasn’t, but the sigh he lets out after saying this could be interpreted as either one from exasperation or one like: “What?! No, I’ve never done that...heh, heh. Heh. *sigh*.”
• In the video description, Phil has included two links to the Dan and Phil Shop and none to the AmazingPhil Shop.