Dan & Phil Part 93: Fomosexual

[wiccamoody]

Me, emotional about a photo of dips? More likely than you'd think

It's just so domestic I can't!!

[Megancita75]

That is a fuck ton of dips. I cannot even comprehend why you would need that many unless you were doing a taste test or something.

[Amiaw]

Have I mentioned lately that I love Phil? He has been coming through all year for us.

[blahblahblah8]

I like watching PJ's Twitch streams; Stardew Valley is so relaxing

I didn’t know pj played Stardew valley! It’s my fav game, I’m gonna check out his streams! But also this makes me hope Phil sees and gets inspired to play Stardew on his streams! He mentioned playing apex again a few live shows ago so I hope he comes through with that. But even little stuff like the Wikipedia game last live show was fun!

[Catallena]

Me, emotional about a photo of dips? More likely than you'd think

It's just so domestic I can't!!

How dare they? Now I'm thinking of the OG Dan Has Many Dips Instastory and that's gonna make me spiral into watching my own compilations while missing them.



(at 0:17)

[sarmstr2]

I like watching PJ's Twitch streams; Stardew Valley is so relaxing

I didn’t know pj played Stardew valley! It’s my fav game, I’m gonna check out his streams! But also this makes me hope Phil sees and gets inspired to play Stardew on his streams! He mentioned playing apex again a few live shows ago so I hope he comes through with that. But even little stuff like the Wikipedia game last live show was fun!

His streams are amazing! I watch them at work for background noise and try and catch any "bonus streams" during the weekend. Seems his chat is pretty chill as well. It got me into the game and now I'm obsessed. PJ is pretty open and talks about more personal things during his streams.

[susan2]

Anyone have any guesses ? My best effort...

1. Garlic Mayo
2. Mayo - aka his condiment of choice
3. Mustard
4. Curry
5. Gochujang
6. Teriyaki
7. Sweet chilli
8. Sriracha
9. BBQ - for dan
10. BBQ - for phil
11. Tomato ketchup - cos Phil's feeling exotic

Thanks for the content Phil

[alittledizzy]

Can our location experts tell me where they're sitting to eat? That many dips so close to that quilt makes me twitchy omg. I hope it's just Dan eating them and not Phil with his less than stellar hand eye coordination.

[rizzo]

Can our location experts tell me where they're sitting to eat? That many dips so close to that quilt makes me twitchy omg. I hope it's just Dan eating them and not Phil with his less than stellar hand eye coordination.

I am of the opinion that they are in the living room and that’s the coffee table, but that they pushed it up against the couch to eat. And put the quilt on the couch to avoid potential spillage on the light cushions. Vivid imagery in my mind of Dan sitting cross-legged on that quilt inhaling dips and a movie.

This is just a cursory guess tho tbh, if anyone wants to correct me.

[madzilla84]

I love PJ’s streams; he played the Sims yesterday and it was pretty hilarious. He also streams in the evenings sometimes on Dean Dobbs’s channel, and they’re usually joined by Cyarine too (the artist of Phil’s glitch hoodie and festive cosy browsing merch. Small world!).

[heartsopenminds]

I didn’t know pj played Stardew valley! It’s my fav game, I’m gonna check out his streams! But also this makes me hope Phil sees and gets inspired to play Stardew on his streams! He mentioned playing apex again a few live shows ago so I hope he comes through with that. But even little stuff like the Wikipedia game last live show was fun!

His streams are amazing! I watch them at work for background noise

Same!

It got me into the game and now I'm obsessed.

Same!

[susan2]

phil + podcast
yes please

https://vidconlondon.com/agenda/16212/b ... e-podcast/

[alittledizzy]

omg

I thought what I wanted was Dan doing a part two recorded after his coming out video.

BUT I WAS WRONG.

Phil on the podcast is what I really wanted, I just didn't know it.

Thoughts on if it'll be strictly early-days career focused or cover his coming out at all?

[Amiaw]

I hope Phil tells us a little more about the writing he’s been doing but he could talk anything and I’d be satisfied.

[Susanisnotafish]

I kind of wish it wasn’t live. I’m glad it’s the industry track though. So Phil will be at Vidcon Friday and Saturday?

[Susanisnotafish]

Me, emotional about a photo of dips? More likely than you'd think

It's just so domestic I can't!!

Going back to this for a minute: can someone please write a fic where they’re not dipping food in all those dips?

[CapriciousCrab]

Thoughts on if it'll be strictly early-days career focused or cover his coming out at all?

Since it's live I think he'll probably try stick to career focused lines of discussion. But who knows, Phil can be a wild card on occasion lol. And in my fantasy world he'll also drop some info on his writing projects too

I'm a sad dimple- woot!

[Megancita75]

I read an article in the New York Times today that I found interesting and thought people in this forum might also find interesting:

How to Make Your Marriage Gayer: Same sex couples feel more satisfied with their partners than heterosexual ones. What's the secret?

Here are a few excerpts since it might be behind a paywall for some people:

Here’s where same-sex couples can offer their different-sex counterparts useful tips. Since same-sex couples can’t use imputed male-female differences to sort out who does what, they rely less on stereotypes. Heterosexual parents tend to see tasks such as child care, laundry and dishes as part of a package that is handed to one partner. Same-sex couples are far more likely to each take on some traditionally “feminine” and some “masculine” chores.

They are also more likely to share the routine tasks. A 2015 survey found that almost half of dual-earner, same-sex couples shared laundry duties, compared with just under a third of different-sex couples. And a whopping 74 percent of same-sex couples shared routine child care, compared with only 38 percent of straight couples.
...
They are also more likely to talk through their individual preferences about who does what at home. This is especially true for gay males and is probably why they express the most satisfaction with the division of labor.
...
Children living with same-sex parents experienced, on average, three and a half hours of parenting time per day, compared with two and a half for children living with a heterosexual couple.
...
A 12-year comparison of how couples initiate and handle disagreements identified other strengths of same-sex couples. The researchers John Gottman and Robert Levenson found that gays and lesbians who discussed a disagreement with their partner did so in less belligerent, domineering and fearful ways than different-sex individuals, possibly because they did not bring the same history of power inequalities to the table. Same-sex couples used more affection and humor while discussing their disagreements, became less agitated and calmed down more quickly afterward than different-sex couples.

Even in ordinary daily interactions, people in same-sex unions use more positive methods of influencing a partner, studies find, than individuals in different-sex partnerships, offering encouragement and praise rather than criticism, lectures or appeals to guilt.
...
Like heterosexual men, gay partners typically value preserving emotional autonomy and independence over breaking down boundaries in pursuit of greater intimacy. Gay men, said Professor Umberson, are more “low-key” than women, offering emotional and instrumental care to a partner when it is clearly needed, instead of treating it as a routine obligation. And gay men tend not to expect such care unless they explicitly ask for it.

But perhaps because they don’t have a woman in the household keeping track of the emotional temperature, gay men are much more conscious than heterosexual men of monitoring their partner’s needs for emotional support so that they can provide support when it is really needed.

There's even a graphic showing that the split in labor specifically for dishwashing can predict relationship quality: the more one person does the dishes, the less happy the relationship is

[lefthandedism]

I read an article in the New York Times today that I found interesting and thought people in this forum might also find interesting:

How to Make Your Marriage Gayer: Same sex couples feel more satisfied with their partners than heterosexual ones. What's the secret?

Here are a few excerpts since it might be behind a paywall for some people:

Here’s where same-sex couples can offer their different-sex counterparts useful tips. Since same-sex couples can’t use imputed male-female differences to sort out who does what, they rely less on stereotypes. Heterosexual parents tend to see tasks such as child care, laundry and dishes as part of a package that is handed to one partner. Same-sex couples are far more likely to each take on some traditionally “feminine” and some “masculine” chores.

They are also more likely to share the routine tasks. A 2015 survey found that almost half of dual-earner, same-sex couples shared laundry duties, compared with just under a third of different-sex couples. And a whopping 74 percent of same-sex couples shared routine child care, compared with only 38 percent of straight couples.
...
They are also more likely to talk through their individual preferences about who does what at home. This is especially true for gay males and is probably why they express the most satisfaction with the division of labor.
...
Children living with same-sex parents experienced, on average, three and a half hours of parenting time per day, compared with two and a half for children living with a heterosexual couple.
...
A 12-year comparison of how couples initiate and handle disagreements identified other strengths of same-sex couples. The researchers John Gottman and Robert Levenson found that gays and lesbians who discussed a disagreement with their partner did so in less belligerent, domineering and fearful ways than different-sex individuals, possibly because they did not bring the same history of power inequalities to the table. Same-sex couples used more affection and humor while discussing their disagreements, became less agitated and calmed down more quickly afterward than different-sex couples.

Even in ordinary daily interactions, people in same-sex unions use more positive methods of influencing a partner, studies find, than individuals in different-sex partnerships, offering encouragement and praise rather than criticism, lectures or appeals to guilt.
...
Like heterosexual men, gay partners typically value preserving emotional autonomy and independence over breaking down boundaries in pursuit of greater intimacy. Gay men, said Professor Umberson, are more “low-key” than women, offering emotional and instrumental care to a partner when it is clearly needed, instead of treating it as a routine obligation. And gay men tend not to expect such care unless they explicitly ask for it.

But perhaps because they don’t have a woman in the household keeping track of the emotional temperature, gay men are much more conscious than heterosexual men of monitoring their partner’s needs for emotional support so that they can provide support when it is really needed.

There's even a graphic showing that the split in labor specifically for dishwashing can predict relationship quality: the more one person does the dishes, the less happy the relationship is

I read that Op-Ed this morning too and thought of Deppy. The author is Stephanie Coontz, a top expert on marriage and she cites a lot of good research. Another excerpt:

One distinctive strength of male couples is that their tendency to candidly discuss respective preferences extends to sexuality as well, including choices that may startle some heterosexuals. For example, while the extent of non-monogamy in gay-male partnerships is often exaggerated, openly non-monogamous relationships are more common than among lesbians or heterosexuals. Many gay couples work out detailed agreements about what kinds of sexual contact are permissible outside the relationship, under what circumstances and how often.

Notably, however, while the dating relationships of male couples are less stable than those of female-female or male-female couples, their formalized unions are as stable as those of heterosexuals and more stable than formalized female-female unions.

[liola]

Disappointed but not surprised.jpg

I mean, it seems kind of obvious - the unbalanced division of domestic labour has always been unfairly placed on the women' shoulders because of patriarc rules and sexisms induced since childhood, so it makes sense than in relationships where there's no "man vs woman" dynamic there is no/less unbalance. Same goes for the more open discussion of feelings during arguments rather than trying to force their opinions by becoming verbally aggressive. Obviously, there are exceptions, but it's a bit sad that I'm nowhere near surprised. Kinda sucks. Where's the sad hetero gif that I need right now!!

I actually would be more interested in a study that compares social and family behaviours of hetero vs same sex couples involving relating a son vs a daughter, because the unbalance of labour division in siblings is very much real and i find the general consensus is that, for example, daughters are assumed to participate in household chores while sons don't. (Or was that just my and my friends' experience?)

[Catallena]

Excited for Phil on a podcast. Don't even care what he talks about, just love listening to his voice

Where's the sad hetero gif that I need right now!!

I personally always really feel this one. 'Tragically heterosexual' sums up my feelings towards men pretty nicely.

[malday]

You'd wander why in the world humanity went towards the lifetime monogamous hetero relationship model as an ideal when the only animals who adhere to it are not even mammals.
Nature doesn't care about love, happiness etc. it rewards selfish assholes who are reckless (45% of pregnancies being unplanned is a lot).
Still there are idiots in power who think gay marriage, high number of divorces and decline in children is the end of civilisation and not a good thing that indicates freedom and more selectivity. They'd rather have people miserable, trapped and reproducing without thinking too much or posing existential questions.

None of this would even matter, though, if people were free to live how they wanted and not under the threat of being ostracised or even murdered because of their orientation. But we can't have nice things.

Liola i concur, daughters especially older ones end up co-parenting with their moms.

[Phantasy]

So this talk of same-sex couples (and the proximity to Valentine’s Day) got me thinking... without diving too deep into the problematic “we been knew” type of sentiment, I’m curious when or what moment in D&P’s history did you say to yourself “okay, yep... they’re a couple—no doubt in my mind”.

Beyond all the mis-direction, denials, separate bedrooms and Customer Service answers—what moment or “evidence” washed away reasonable doubt: was it the vday video, formspring answers, lubegate, a 3am deep dive into the drug deal archive or Phan Directory, or maybe just a quiet moment or interaction in a video that solidified it for you? (Or maybe not until BIG and the actual confirmation?!)

I’ll tell you for me, aside from the vday vid and obvious flirty interactions early on, there’s a couple of moments that are so overwhelming domestic and couple-y that I couldn’t just shrug off as platonic broship...

Everything captured in Phil vs The Praying Mantis—the romantic destination with another couple being obvious, but the dynamic of shrieking Dan and “macho” Phil and the cute “I’ll disown you” comment is everything to me...

After the mis-lead of Busgate, this wholesome moment was dripping with fondness and couple energy... Dan playing with sick Phil’s hair while he naps next to him on the bus’ bed... such an overwhelmingly cute moment...

And the whole Confession Roulette thing just seemed like a peek into what a couples counseling session might look like for them...


Of course there’s probably a thousand other interactions that paint a similar picture, but these moments always stood out to me.

[flarequake]

I’m not entirely sure, but the Japhan umbrella photo was one. Then ‘the literal other half’.

[Phantasy]

I’m not entirely sure, but the Japhan umbrella photo was one. Then ‘the literal other half’.

All of Japhan was one big #CouplesGoals

(With pics like this I wonder if they have one pose for the ‘gram and one for themselves)