Dan & Phil Part 99: OnlyPhans

[kavat]

Dan is away for a whole day to record his audiobook and Phil starts googling new boyfriends.

[alittledizzy]

I ended up watching this video last night for fic related reasons and like... I don't watch a lot of old Dan content so this totally flew over my head but this is just an entire video of Dan describing various cinema dates in which he embarrassed Phil.



1:23 - (doesn't say what movie)

This isn't as bad as the other day where I reserved a seat and someone was sitting in it. So I was running a bit late, the film was about to start. We walk into the middle of the aisle and then sitting in the premium seats that me and my friends had booked were [a middle aged couple] whose shopping bags and coats were taking up the next two seats either side of them.

Now my friend Phil doesn't like public conflict, but when this lady looked up at me like 'young whippersnappers, stupid teenagers, what knife crime vandalism are they planning next' shit was gonna go down. And this was pretty much a completely empty cinema - rows and rows of free seats we could have sat in. So my friend looks at me like 'don't bother, man, lets just sit somewhere else.' But that wasn't the point. It was the principle.

Now I'm aware I've painted a picture of myself on here as someone who is quite often prone to doing completely inexplicable awkward things, but at the same time I am quite confident and outgoing so I had no problem going,

"Excuse me."
"What?"
"You're um, sitting in our seats."
"What."
"Yep. That's seats 12, 13, and 14."
"You actually want us to-"
"Oh yeah."

Begin the very awkward twenty seconds of shuffling past. It was worth it.

2:34 - We Need to Talk About Kevin

It was just me, my friend, and four women sat directly in front of us. [describes shushing the women in front of him]

The thing was, as we were literally the only other people in the room, it wasn't as anonymous as it could have been - especially for my friend who was like, "You did not just do that. Oh my god. Oh my god. I don't know you. I don't know you."

3:19 - The Woman in Black
3:58 - Paranormal Activity 3
4:50 - Avatar (in 3D)

[Catallena]

[alittledizzy]

What is that first story? I don't understaaaaaaaand him.

[Levitating]

2:34 - We Need to Talk About Kevin


3:19 - The Woman in Black
3:58 - Paranormal Activity 3
4:50 - Avatar (in 3D)

LoL.
"My friend" is always Phil.


And yeah! What is that first story about?!

[inanerat]

What is that first story? I don't understaaaaaaaand him.

I mean in terms of the filter itself it's definitely an aesthetic thing, there's a whole 'old computer windows and programs' aesthetic thing that people do.

as for why he would 1. find/decide to use that filter and 2. decide to post it instead of anything else?? no fucking clue

he needed to give us a low res glabella update obvs

(edit: also new brockhampton album, I wonder if Dan will mention anything about it. he already posted one of the songs on insta last week)

[rizzo]

Was doing a bit of creepin' around re: Dan's book and found this full review on B&N's website. Have we seen the whole thing before?

Howell (The Amazing Book is Not on Fire) has written a book that could be read in tandem with Matt Haig's The Midnight Library. With the same themes of choice, fate, and decision-making, Howell's book offers practical guidance on handling life's toughest experiences, both in the immediate moment and in the short- and long-term aftermath. The author discusses breathwork, grounding, and mindfulness and recommends that readers learn these strategies before they need them so that they're second nature during a crisis. He offers useful ways to recover in the physical body following an experience that causes stress or anxiety, and provides ideas for working within different healing modalities to ensure that trauma is recognized, addressed, and dealt with in highly individualized, evolving ways. Exercises on developing empathy and compassion for the self are featured throughout. VERDICT Bold, raw, and powerful, Howell's book—which also draws from his own experiences—becomes one thread of a narrative about finding hope and healing. It doesn't ever feel too positive, simplistic, reductive, or one-dimensional. Like his previous books, this one will find a wide audience.—Emily Bowles, Lawrence Univ., WI

Library Journal

I'm fascinated by a couple of points here.

Having just read The Midnight Library myself, that correlation is really interesting. (TW: SI & also - not-really-spoilery spoilers about TML, just in case)

That book is quite literally a novel about someone dealing with their attempted suicide. It's also... a novel. So, I'm curious how this reviewer sees these books being read in tandem? From what I'm picking up here, perhaps the main character in TML is tackling the kind of thoughts and challenges Dan will cover in his book? Interesting. Much to think about.

Also: "breathwork, grounding, and mindfulness"? My immediate thought was "What in the Adrian Howell?!" but that's not really fair of me. These are important things to learn and to understand in moments of stress and anxiety and I imagine Dan will address them appropriately. It's also probably the tip of a more detailed iceberg. After all, this is but a single review. More than anything, it's making me re-evaluate my mental image of what Dan's therapy sessions might have been like. i think I never took into account that he might see someone more holistic? Which now suddenly makes me think --- why wouldn't he?! I hesitate to say all of this because the topic is very nuanced. Really, my only take is: Oh, interesting...

[alittledizzy]

Was doing a bit of creepin' around re: Dan's book and found this full review on B&N's website. Have we seen the whole thing before?

Howell (The Amazing Book is Not on Fire) has written a book that could be read in tandem with Matt Haig's The Midnight Library. With the same themes of choice, fate, and decision-making, Howell's book offers practical guidance on handling life's toughest experiences, both in the immediate moment and in the short- and long-term aftermath. The author discusses breathwork, grounding, and mindfulness and recommends that readers learn these strategies before they need them so that they're second nature during a crisis. He offers useful ways to recover in the physical body following an experience that causes stress or anxiety, and provides ideas for working within different healing modalities to ensure that trauma is recognized, addressed, and dealt with in highly individualized, evolving ways. Exercises on developing empathy and compassion for the self are featured throughout. VERDICT Bold, raw, and powerful, Howell's book—which also draws from his own experiences—becomes one thread of a narrative about finding hope and healing. It doesn't ever feel too positive, simplistic, reductive, or one-dimensional. Like his previous books, this one will find a wide audience.—Emily Bowles, Lawrence Univ., WI

Library Journal

I'm fascinated by a couple of points here.

Having just read The Midnight Library myself, that correlation is really interesting. (TW: SI & also - not-really-spoilery spoilers about TML, just in case)

That book is quite literally a novel about someone dealing with their attempted suicide. It's also... a novel. So, I'm curious how this reviewer sees these books being read in tandem? From what I'm picking up here, perhaps the main character in TML is tackling the kind of thoughts and challenges Dan will cover in his book? Interesting. Much to think about.

Also: "breathwork, grounding, and mindfulness"? My immediate thought was "What in the Adrian Howell?!" but that's not really fair of me. These are important things to learn and to understand in moments of stress and anxiety and I imagine Dan will address them appropriately. It's also probably the tip of a more detailed iceberg. After all, this is but a single review. More than anything, it's making me re-evaluate my mental image of what Dan's therapy sessions might have been like. i think I never took into account that he might see someone more holistic? Which now suddenly makes me think --- why wouldn't he?! I hesitate to say all of this because the topic is very nuanced. Really, my only take is: Oh, interesting...

Oooh FANTASTIC find.

Is breathwork grounding, and mindfulness a marker of only holistic therapy? We do also know he was on medical. I don't have a lot of personal experience to draw on her but my ex-girlfriend was in therapy and she definitely had a mix of meditation/breathing techniques for anxiety, talk therapy, and medication. Or am I wrong in assuming holistic generally excludes medication? I guess what I'm getting at here is that I think I was just assuming most therapy is a mixed bag approach...

[rizzo]

Was doing a bit of creepin' around re: Dan's book and found this full review on B&N's website. Have we seen the whole thing before?

Howell (The Amazing Book is Not on Fire) has written a book that could be read in tandem with Matt Haig's The Midnight Library. With the same themes of choice, fate, and decision-making, Howell's book offers practical guidance on handling life's toughest experiences, both in the immediate moment and in the short- and long-term aftermath. The author discusses breathwork, grounding, and mindfulness and recommends that readers learn these strategies before they need them so that they're second nature during a crisis. He offers useful ways to recover in the physical body following an experience that causes stress or anxiety, and provides ideas for working within different healing modalities to ensure that trauma is recognized, addressed, and dealt with in highly individualized, evolving ways. Exercises on developing empathy and compassion for the self are featured throughout. VERDICT Bold, raw, and powerful, Howell's book—which also draws from his own experiences—becomes one thread of a narrative about finding hope and healing. It doesn't ever feel too positive, simplistic, reductive, or one-dimensional. Like his previous books, this one will find a wide audience.—Emily Bowles, Lawrence Univ., WI

Library Journal

I'm fascinated by a couple of points here.

Having just read The Midnight Library myself, that correlation is really interesting. (TW: SI & also - not-really-spoilery spoilers about TML, just in case)

That book is quite literally a novel about someone dealing with their attempted suicide. It's also... a novel. So, I'm curious how this reviewer sees these books being read in tandem? From what I'm picking up here, perhaps the main character in TML is tackling the kind of thoughts and challenges Dan will cover in his book? Interesting. Much to think about.

Also: "breathwork, grounding, and mindfulness"? My immediate thought was "What in the Adrian Howell?!" but that's not really fair of me. These are important things to learn and to understand in moments of stress and anxiety and I imagine Dan will address them appropriately. It's also probably the tip of a more detailed iceberg. After all, this is but a single review. More than anything, it's making me re-evaluate my mental image of what Dan's therapy sessions might have been like. i think I never took into account that he might see someone more holistic? Which now suddenly makes me think --- why wouldn't he?! I hesitate to say all of this because the topic is very nuanced. Really, my only take is: Oh, interesting...

Oooh FANTASTIC find.

Is breathwork grounding, and mindfulness a marker of only holistic therapy? We do also know he was on medical. I don't have a lot of personal experience to draw on her but my ex-girlfriend was in therapy and she definitely had a mix of meditation/breathing techniques for anxiety, talk therapy, and medication. Or am I wrong in assuming holistic generally excludes medication? I guess what I'm getting at here is that I think I was just assuming most therapy is a mixed bag approach...

Yeah, I probably should have also prefaced that I'm coming from my very limited experience of my therapist not leaning into anything meditation-y whatsoever, so I fully just projected that experience onto Dan. Which is why this a bit of a revelation for me.

Truly, the more I think about it, the more I realize that this all makes sense from the guy that gives us little mini meditation sessions at the end of each live show and calls us "ducklings". Like - obviously he does breathwork.

[inanerat]

Was doing a bit of creepin' around re: Dan's book and found this full review on B&N's website. Have we seen the whole thing before?

Howell (The Amazing Book is Not on Fire) has written a book that could be read in tandem with Matt Haig's The Midnight Library. With the same themes of choice, fate, and decision-making, Howell's book offers practical guidance on handling life's toughest experiences, both in the immediate moment and in the short- and long-term aftermath. The author discusses breathwork, grounding, and mindfulness and recommends that readers learn these strategies before they need them so that they're second nature during a crisis. He offers useful ways to recover in the physical body following an experience that causes stress or anxiety, and provides ideas for working within different healing modalities to ensure that trauma is recognized, addressed, and dealt with in highly individualized, evolving ways. Exercises on developing empathy and compassion for the self are featured throughout. VERDICT Bold, raw, and powerful, Howell's book—which also draws from his own experiences—becomes one thread of a narrative about finding hope and healing. It doesn't ever feel too positive, simplistic, reductive, or one-dimensional. Like his previous books, this one will find a wide audience.—Emily Bowles, Lawrence Univ., WI

Library Journal

I'm fascinated by a couple of points here.

Having just read The Midnight Library myself, that correlation is really interesting. (TW: SI & also - not-really-spoilery spoilers about TML, just in case)

That book is quite literally a novel about someone dealing with their attempted suicide. It's also... a novel. So, I'm curious how this reviewer sees these books being read in tandem? From what I'm picking up here, perhaps the main character in TML is tackling the kind of thoughts and challenges Dan will cover in his book? Interesting. Much to think about.

Also: "breathwork, grounding, and mindfulness"? My immediate thought was "What in the Adrian Howell?!" but that's not really fair of me. These are important things to learn and to understand in moments of stress and anxiety and I imagine Dan will address them appropriately. It's also probably the tip of a more detailed iceberg. After all, this is but a single review. More than anything, it's making me re-evaluate my mental image of what Dan's therapy sessions might have been like. i think I never took into account that he might see someone more holistic? Which now suddenly makes me think --- why wouldn't he?! I hesitate to say all of this because the topic is very nuanced. Really, my only take is: Oh, interesting...

Oooh FANTASTIC find.

Is breathwork grounding, and mindfulness a marker of only holistic therapy? We do also know he was on medical. I don't have a lot of personal experience to draw on her but my ex-girlfriend was in therapy and she definitely had a mix of meditation/breathing techniques for anxiety, talk therapy, and medication. Or am I wrong in assuming holistic generally excludes medication? I guess what I'm getting at here is that I think I was just assuming most therapy is a mixed bag approach...

Just from my personal experience, things like breathwork, grounding and mindfulness are found as base concepts and practices in a lot of different types of therapy. And there are different types, with different mindsets and techniques and therapists usually specialize, but imo a good therapist definitely draws on many diverse resources based on the situation and what is most effective and helpful for their patient.

From basically all of my experience with therapy (a lot lmao) and especially with care in crisis, one of the first things gone over is different techniques for physical grounding, like breathing, other physical exercises with the senses, potentially mindfulness practices or rituals that aim to help you regulate to a place where you can better assess and deal with the situation.

While I do personally expect things like this from the book to bore me, purely because I've gone over so many of them so many damn times, they are common, important and useful to many, so I definitely expect them to be mentioned.

also rizzo the 'ducklings' lmaoooo
although I'm not one to talk, a streamer I watch regularly does several hours of just chatting a week just hanging out with community and being quite wholesome at times so

[fruitcriminals]

I like that review because Harper Collins makes the book sounds like lol I'm fine now learn from my past whereas the last few stereo's and the review make it sounds more honest - my life was a mess and I have got a lot better but not totally and here's some things I found helpful in the awful times and now find helpful if I have a bad day.

I think it'll also help young people as a lot of them won't even know about these things unless they went to therapy where they talk about it. I can't say I'll find the book helpful myself as I have a private therapist, don't have to rely on the awful nhs mh care etc. but I'm still going to listen to it.

[BlueSnoko]

Was doing a bit of creepin' around re: Dan's book and found this full review on B&N's website. Have we seen the whole thing before?

Howell (The Amazing Book is Not on Fire) has written a book that could be read in tandem with Matt Haig's The Midnight Library. With the same themes of choice, fate, and decision-making one thread of a narrative about finding hope and healing.

Having just read The Midnight Library myself, that correlation is really interesting. (TW: SI & also - not-really-spoilery spoilers about TML, just in case)

That book is quite literally a novel about someone dealing with their attempted suicide. It's also... a novel. [/i]

Does Midnight Library show just the journey of finding hope, or does it show the work if maintaining that hope? Because that's something I'm hoping Dan's book will explore. I feel like it is something that's usually left out of mental health/depression "stories". Hope is found; all's good now. It's way too clean and misrepresents how meandering the process actually is.
I'm curious about Midnight Library now but I don't think I could read it; it sounds triggering. Anyway, It makes sense Dan would unify the personal narratives of the book with theme of hope, but I really hope (the word hope is beginning to loose all meaning oh geesh) that he doesn't make it too neat in order the serve the narrative.

I hope I've been coherent; it's 4am here


Also I really want Dan to share the interior decorating love with us. I don't care about an official apartment tour or anything (more fun to map that way ) but I'd love to hear more about specific design choices and their side table options.

[glitterintheair]

MY RIGHTS

I am not a crier but this song made me weep and I just knew that Dan was gonna like it. So happy to have confirmation.

[kavat]

The new Brockhampton album is great and I would love a classic Dan rant on it. I'm also still salty about how we never found out what BH merch he got years ago (but my money is on the Gay socks).

[inanerat]

HOUSE CONTENT

i am thriving

also 'entrance to the dungeon', it's 2021 Phil's world and we're living in it

[alittledizzy]

AHHHH HOUSE PIC!!!!!

[fioebae]

House pic house pic house pic!!!

I’m so interested in their glass stair divider it looks like it has black metal grid “window frames”?? Very cool loft vibes!

[alittledizzy]

all of us right now

[kavat]

I find it hilarious that the only pictures we've seen are of the stairs. Will we ever see another corner of their home? Who knows. Maybe it's all stairs.

[LadyLackless]

I find it hilarious that the only pictures we've seen are of the stairs. Will we ever see another corner of their home? Who knows. Maybe it's all stairs.

this would be a nice thematic link to dnp’s first London flat

[Catallena]

Will never understand why people willingly put floating staircases in their homes but I'm happy for DnP. Less happy about the inevitable end of Lockdown Lads & Co. Joint content is my crack.

I guess a new era is here...

[Catallena]

Hope he gets some juicy ones.

[alittledizzy]

Nothing brings me more joy than Phil asking for risque questions. What I've submitted so far:

• have you ever been to therapy

• are there any opportunities you missed because you were publicly closeted?

• how has financial prosperity changed your life?

• who was the first person you came out to?

• how did you navigate sexuality+being online at uni? are there deleted gay phil vids

[lefthandedism]

I hope many IDB'ers are taking the opportunity to do the survey!

[fruitcriminals]

Nothing brings me more joy than Phil asking for risque questions. What I've submitted so far:

• have you ever been to therapy

• are there any opportunities you missed because you were publicly closeted?

• how has financial prosperity changed your life?

• who was the first person you came out to?

• how did you navigate sexuality+being online at uni? are there deleted gay phil vids

2021 Phil is hilarious. He knows the questions the majority of people are going to ask...and he's doing it anyway. What a mad lad.
At least he'll also get your questions which are probably a nice change from ones about Dan, dicks and dogs.

I have no questions I can think of that he would likely answer (because they're very boring) but if Dan doesn't reply him with 'can I get some editing tips' then he's really missed some peak husband banter there.