Dan & Phil Part 100: full-time internet homowners

[rizzo]

Oh, god. That Phil IG story made no sense to me (despite LOVING IT) until it hit me that Phil sent the message. These two married assholes... I love them so much.

[Levitating]

Oh, god. That Phil IG story made no sense to me (despite LOVING IT) until it hit me that Phil sent the message. These two married assholes... I love them so much.

Same!!

Hope this works!

Thank you for all your spoilers and comments! I won't buy the book yet. I will wait till I can flip through it myself at a local bookstore and decide, so I am craving for any spoilers that are around.
For what everyone's saying, I agree that a more personalise take would have been better appreciated. Such a pity!, but at the same time I do understand he was trying to be helpful
He genuinely wanted for people to know these things and they have helped him.

[inanerat]

Oh, god. That Phil IG story made no sense to me (despite LOVING IT) until it hit me that Phil sent the message. These two married assholes... I love them so much.

This but also I don't understand the picture entirely cause it seems like Phil's sitting at the desk in the glass door room? So there wouldn't be room for Dan to take the picture. It's still funny bants but maybe a wee bit pre-planned lol

[inanerat]

Oh, god. That Phil IG story made no sense to me (despite LOVING IT) until it hit me that Phil sent the message. These two married assholes... I love them so much.

This but also I don't understand the picture entirely cause it seems like Phil's sitting at the desk in the glass door room? So there wouldn't be room for Dan to take the picture. It's still funny bants but maybe a wee bit pre-planned lol

Ok I might be wrong and the pic is mirrored 'cause there's a bit of wall behind his left shoulder, so he would be over by the AP background set up. so idk

Also I was hit with how them sending each other messages like that felt so old school (flirty as fuck) dnp and I realized,,, formspring that's the vibe.

[Phantasy]

I think Dan exaggerated how much of himself he put into this book. Maybe it's because I'm a stan (and a ~Dannie~ at that), but like... I knew 50% of the anecdotes he offered up from his own life. And all-in-all the parts about himself maybe covered 10% of this book? (I'm estimating here. If I have to correct myself, I'll do so after I finish my more thorough read-through.) I could see how, in writing and re-writing and editing and deleting, it could feel like he talked about himself a lot. And the intro is all about him and why he's written this book, but... beyond that... this book is just a reference book.

That's not a complaint. Frankly, I don't even think I'm disappointed by it. But I am surprised? Like I really thought I'd learn more about Dan than I did.

TBH, it's kinda reminiscent of how he talked up just how much promo he'd do for this book and like.... 6 days out I'm still waiting.

I've seen quite a few people who read the book having the same thoughts as you. Count me as surprised too because he said things like "the book will have some juicy tea about me" and even in the instagram post he made yesterday he talked about baring his soul in it. Probably it was mostly a marketing tactic to make the book more appealing, especially to his established fanbase. It's a shame though, because there's so much about Dan that I'd like to know (to reference the ig post again, when he talked about struggling with vulnerability and being open, I was like "yes! Tell me more about that!").

I guess the intro to the book really is "soul-baring"...... to someone who's picking up the book having never known of/about Dan. And certainly there are bits and pieces (extra spoilery ahead) about his Dad being a closed-off "manly man", vague suggestions about his parents arguing, about Manila being a tough situation during the tour.... But it's not Net New. He's been this vulnerable before. And even if he hasn't (re: his Dad)... the piece is still pretty closed off. It was a fanciful paragraph about how his Dad and grandpa have a stiff upper lip and he's learning to be more emotional. So idk. The book is very.... Dan as we, as fans, know Dan.

Question for those that have read/skimmed the book…

So I take it there’s not a “relationship” section in terms of how mental health impacts a partner or more broadly friends/ loved ones? From what I gather it’s more from his point of view on how other people (parents perhaps most specifically) might have shaped or influenced his psyche.

[rizzo]

I think Dan exaggerated how much of himself he put into this book. Maybe it's because I'm a stan (and a ~Dannie~ at that), but like... I knew 50% of the anecdotes he offered up from his own life. And all-in-all the parts about himself maybe covered 10% of this book? (I'm estimating here. If I have to correct myself, I'll do so after I finish my more thorough read-through.) I could see how, in writing and re-writing and editing and deleting, it could feel like he talked about himself a lot. And the intro is all about him and why he's written this book, but... beyond that... this book is just a reference book.

That's not a complaint. Frankly, I don't even think I'm disappointed by it. But I am surprised? Like I really thought I'd learn more about Dan than I did.

TBH, it's kinda reminiscent of how he talked up just how much promo he'd do for this book and like.... 6 days out I'm still waiting.

I've seen quite a few people who read the book having the same thoughts as you. Count me as surprised too because he said things like "the book will have some juicy tea about me" and even in the instagram post he made yesterday he talked about baring his soul in it. Probably it was mostly a marketing tactic to make the book more appealing, especially to his established fanbase. It's a shame though, because there's so much about Dan that I'd like to know (to reference the ig post again, when he talked about struggling with vulnerability and being open, I was like "yes! Tell me more about that!").

I guess the intro to the book really is "soul-baring"...... to someone who's picking up the book having never known of/about Dan. And certainly there are bits and pieces (extra spoilery ahead) about his Dad being a closed-off "manly man", vague suggestions about his parents arguing, about Manila being a tough situation during the tour.... But it's not Net New. He's been this vulnerable before. And even if he hasn't (re: his Dad)... the piece is still pretty closed off. It was a fanciful paragraph about how his Dad and grandpa have a stiff upper lip and he's learning to be more emotional. So idk. The book is very.... Dan as we, as fans, know Dan.

Question for those that have read/skimmed the book…

So I take it there’s not a “relationship” section in terms of how mental health impacts a partner or more broadly friends/ loved ones? From what I gather it’s more from his point of view on how other people (parents perhaps most specifically) might have shaped or influenced his psyche.

The book is just like…. Tips on how to improve the reader’s situation. So there’s no real place for him to touch on how any specific mental health struggle might impact other people.

It’s mostly the other way around: How your relationships (or possible lack thereof) can impact you. And like 99% of the “Social Life” portion of the book touches on why socializing/talking to people is important for mental health, how different relationships have different depths to them and add different value to your mental health, how to improve your social life (if you want to), and there’s a quick 2 paragraph section on how turning a stranger into a life partner involves being vulnerable. All pretty broad tbh, with a few funny tidbits on Dan’s attempts to make friends that I won’t spoil.

He also talks about being there for others if you can. But that’s about as far as that topic seems to go. Others can correct me if I’m totally missing a piece!

[susan2]

Do we know if the Waterstones event will be fully live? or is it being pre-recorded and then streamed?

The event with John Green looks like it's pre-recorded - which makes sense.

[madzilla84]

The Waterstones one is on Zoom, so I’d assume that means it’s live? Though you can broadcast video over Zoom, so who knows. (I’m guessing the US one is pre-recorded because of time zones; I mean, midnight isn’t actually that late for Dan, but still )

[fruitcriminals]

Dan's tweeted 4 pages of his book.

[alittledizzy]

How did I completely miss that Phil tweeted today?

[BlueSnoko]

It came. It looks nice in rl.

It has a chapter called: Therapy & Medication - Leave it to the Pros.


I feel like some of you will be reassured by that.

Edit: I'm not too personally surprised by that because I've expierence accidentally going cold turkey on the same medication Dan has and I'd honestly rather take hallucinogens alone in a strange place.

[BlueSnoko]

I "read" through the book really speedily last night (flipping for the good shit, ya know?) and then started it properly. Got through "This Night" before falling asleep. So, here are some immediate, but probably incomplete, thoughts:

What's really noticeable to me - though I should have expected it - is just how much this book is a resource and absolutely not a memoir in any capacity. This isn't a criticism. I find the book EXCEPTIONALLY resourceful and in my experience reading "personal growth" books, this is certainly one of the better ones in terms of how concise it is with its advice. It's very well-organized, easy to digest, and super helpful. No matter what stage of a crisis you're in or what you're potentially struggling with, there's a section for it. Food a struggle? Read the pages on food. Having an anxiety attack? Flip to that part. It's great! It's also pretty basic, but I think that's the point and I think that's wonderful tbh.

But yeah. I think Dan exaggerated how much of himself he put into this book. Maybe it's because I'm a stan (and a ~Dannie~ at that), but like... I knew 50% of the anecdotes he offered up from his own life. And all-in-all the parts about himself maybe covered 10% of this book? (I'm estimating here. If I have to correct myself, I'll do so after I finish my more thorough read-through.) I could see how, in writing and re-writing and editing and deleting, it could feel like he talked about himself a lot. And the intro is all about him and why he's written this book, but... beyond that... this book is just a reference book.

That's not a complaint. Frankly, I don't even think I'm disappointed by it. But I am surprised? Like I really thought I'd learn more about Dan than I did.

TBH, it's kinda reminiscent of how he talked up just how much promo he'd do for this book and like.... 6 days out I'm still waiting.

I just sped read through the book myself and,

I agree with you Rizzo. The book is well written, accessible and up to date in the science of mental health. I'm going to enjoy reading it and plan to use it to organize my mh plan. It's not overly accessible to older generations since it uses a lot of internet lingo and humor.

There is no Dan tea. 10% Dan content is accurate. I admit I was hoping for a tiny bit of tea. I have only been following him for half a year but there were no stories that felt new. Some mentions of his family felt slightly more explicitly than in the past but did not feel revelatory.

Another thing is that the biographical intro felt rushed. Perhaps it was because I am familiar with the story but it felt more like a school essay than a literary narrative - like he was checking off details rather than telling it organically. It wasn't badly written, it just felt clincal. Especially in comparison to the moving text of BIG. Maybe that's because as he said he still has trouble talking about himself?

Phil was mentioned explicitly twice at the beginning as a friend/creative partner but not through the rest of the book. It's not surprising with the stated boundaries. However, I did find parts that to the familiar reader are clearly about him and Phil -

- a mention of how having a partner help with planning and making food can make the chore easier,
- a section about maintaining a healthy living space in which he talks about needing to work through issues with the person or people you live with so that they don't fester and gives examines of conflicts such as a person you live with using up the bandwidth while you are on an important online business meeting.
- And a segment touchingly labeled, "Trust Fall" that explains the best way to go from stranger to life partner is through trust and shared vulnerability. Crafting. (Though he cautions sharing gotten-away-with murders too early on in the relationship. Who has Phil killed, Dan? I'm curious now!

There are other sections that seem to indirectly reference his brother, like a family member that needs to jumpstart his mornings with brisk runs.

Also Norman has a shout out; my heart.

Anyway, that's my initial review, I'll likely publish more in depth thoughts after I've had a few days to go through it.

[actualsoulmates]

Dan is featured on Katie Piper's Extraordinary People podcast

https://player.fm/series/katie-pipers-e ... raordinary

[kavat]

What a lovely interview that was. You can tell that he's so passionate about this. You might not think he was considering how weakly he has been promoting it himself

One thing that bothers me though is in the beginning when he talks about "failing upwards" in his career and "accidentally" becoming successful. Honey, that's the privilege of being a white (straight presenting) man.

[elipie]

Can anyone who pre-ordered through IRL confirm if they've received a shipping notification e-mail from a fulfillment center? I ordered through IRL and just got a notification from Givington's, but to a name and address that aren't mine... so, I really hope I get the book! If someone else accidentally used my e-mail address, that would be a hell of a coincidence.

Edit: Nevermind, I saw someone on Twitter had the same issue and they got an apology e-mail from IRL, so I expect I'll be getting one soon, too. Why am I not surprised...

[Levitating]

Dan is featured on Katie Piper's Extraordinary People podcast

https://player.fm/series/katie-pipers-e ... raordinary

Thank you for sharing! I have been hearing it now and I felt such a suspense when she, so nicely and invested, asked him what his next 10 years look like
I wonder how much in advance he knows the questions but I suppose he doesn't, because he's famous and all but not a President - or a Kardashian, lol. It thus makes me think that, whatever question comes, he feels nervous for the risk of saying to much and at the same time he's so focused that he can actually handle questions well and avoid betraying himself.

Also, he sounded so nice and gentle and caring in this one - less obnoxious about himself and more in the moment.

She's wonderful.

[starwatersong]

[alittledizzy]

I just listened to the podcast and I really, really enjoyed it. Dan was very open and authentic in a way I crave from him. And yeah - it's not like he said anything we didn't already know (with the exception of being slightly more detailed in his family's reception of his coming out) but just hearing him speak these words can have an entirely different effect than seeing the same thing written in interviews over and over.

Can anyone who pre-ordered through IRL confirm if they've received a shipping notification e-mail from a fulfillment center? I ordered through IRL and just got a notification from Givington's, but to a name and address that aren't mine... so, I really hope I get the book! If someone else accidentally used my e-mail address, that would be a hell of a coincidence.

Edit: Nevermind, I saw someone on Twitter had the same issue and they got an apology e-mail from IRL, so I expect I'll be getting one soon, too. Why am I not surprised...

I got mine eight hours ago - with my correct name and address, thankfully - so they're rolling out, just slowly.

[Catallena]

Have we seen a marble countertop before?

[Levitating]

Those polaroids are the cutest!

[inanerat]

Have we seen a marble countertop before?

I didn't recognize it at all and I was also like but looking at a few recent insta photos (Dan carrying the box and Phil's bday post) I think it might be the top of the white shelf thing in the background (with the AI art on it and stuff)
These insta stories of the art have the best view I think

Further evidence for this is the little strip of what looks like the white tile floor in the lower right of the pic Phil posted.

Here I was getting all excited lmao

Edit: after a quick bit of catch up on twitter, it might actually be the coffee table, which also has a marble top, that looks a little more grey, like the one in Phil's pic

[glitterintheair]

Whoever gets those Polaroids has to post every single one of them, just saying.

[Levitating]

That was I was wondering. Are they all going to be send to a single person?!? It's a waste of precious DnP memorabilia

I getting more and more curious abt the book and ended up thinking about DnP's to-do-list board I feel like it was there long before Dan accepted having depression (you guys know better), but I wonder how much it is connected to it. Was it Phil's idea? It is definitely something extremely helpful to keep up w daily tasks and something so delicate to create together if done after having dealt w Dan's inability to function, if done after a discussion of "okay you can't function, it's okay; let's do together something to support you in this"

[fruitcriminals]

Dan is featured on Katie Piper's Extraordinary People podcast

https://player.fm/series/katie-pipers-e ... raordinary

Also, he sounded so nice and gentle and caring in this one - less obnoxious about himself and more in the moment.

She's wonderful.

One hundred percent. Made me feel a bit emotional

Each interview he does he seems more at ease, which is lovely. As is the way he jokes about himself being kinder now, and less a personal attack. I think he's progressing even since writing the book, or even that first stereo tbh. Perhaps now he knows people are still there, and they still support him.

I also adore 2 other things from today.

1. That he used the word snogging very genuinely in an adult conversation, as if he hadn't perhaps realised that it isn't a common term for adults to use (used to be a word teens would use back in the 90's/2000's in the UK). Despite being up to date with most other internet culture. I do chuckle when he gives things away without realising.

2. His signature on the cubes is his old one with the smiley face. The distinction between serious author 'work' Dan and doing Dan and Phil things 'home' Dan is cute af.

[fruitcriminals]

Dan is featured on Katie Piper's Extraordinary People podcast

https://player.fm/series/katie-pipers-e ... raordinary

Also, he sounded so nice and gentle and caring in this one - less obnoxious about himself and more in the moment.

She's wonderful.

One hundred percent. Made me feel a bit emotional

Each interview he does he seems more at ease, which is lovely. As is the way he jokes about himself being kinder now, and less a personal attack. I think he's progressing even since writing the book, or even that first stereo tbh. Perhaps now he knows people are still there, and they still support him.

I also adore 2 other things from today.

1. That he used the word snogging very genuinely in an adult conversation, as if he hadn't perhaps realised that it isn't a common term for adults to use (used to be a word teens would use back in the 90's/2000's in the UK). Despite being up to date with most other internet culture. I do chuckle when he gives things away without realising.

2. His signature on the cubes is his old one with the smiley face. The distinction between serious author 'work' Dan and doing Dan and Phil things 'home' Dan is cute af.

Nope there's 3 now. Not even just Phil's video. That. Joke. You know what I mean. I am cackling. I love one Phil and one Phil only