Ok, timestamp time!
BlueSnoko, I really enjoyed yours!! they gave me a good laugh
0:11- Dan doesn't want Phil to snip the scissors next to his head, proceeds to get a haircut from him with the scissors next to his head
0:26- I can't remember when, but Phil has shown his hands before, apparently they're always a bit shakey. Do not let this man ever become a surgeon.
0:43- pointing out in editing that they are making eye contact in the mirror?? who fucking asked?? reminds me of that liveshow screenshot (and other times) where one of them is looking at the other fondly and the other is watching them on the computer screen.
1:02- the scissors are stuck on Phil's had and he suggests they "need some lubricant" honestly a fair shout probably wouldn't have been a terrible idea
1:08- there's something about Dan screaming "ahhhh come here idiot" that can be so personal
1:31- calling the fire engine. Dan always does a phone like this instead of the Y handshape. annoys me just as much as it always has
1:34- is that a character from Thomas the Tank Engine? I didn't even know there was a fire truck in that universe
1:36- D: can you please lube up my friend's ring finger? P: not the first time someone's said that. pure filth. Dan's face is appropriate
1:55- Phil talking about and miming decapitating Dan. Dan says that he is not helping in a way that really reminds me of Phil in the hair curling video
2:03- Phil has some ribena and veggie crisps for Dan to calm himself. what Dan says about supporting him and feeding him snacks later in the video? literally this.
2:30- Phil and his questionable phrases/proverbs strike again.
2:56- P: talk to me about your feelings, where are you at in life? Dan feels like they are in a transitional period of their lives, feels like things are happening for him with book and things coming up
3:11- 'it's good- review by Phil' in contrast to the end? Phil thinks it's more than good
3:17- Dan talks about being anxious about the book being out there in the world, facing the reality that what he's written and personal things in the book are actually going to be seen by lots of people. this part really reminded me that Dan still does get anxious and worried about reception of projects he's put so much energy and personal investment into.
3:46- Phil pulling Dan's ears out to the sides is so funny to me. he looks ridiculous
3:59- Phil likes the long top curls, but the back "is trash". don't know if that really changed over the course of this video tbh
4:11- I can't quite tell if that's Phil making that bird noise or an edit but I think it's him and honestly I'm impressed.
4:24- Dan pulls the long sides out from behind his ear and suddenly looks like 2011 liveshow Dan again. like honestly it's astonishing how he looks so different to then but you change the hair back and he looks exactly the fucking same
4:39- Phil is right, mullets are almost back in. Dan just needs to jump feet first into full queer style
4:44- D: one direction, more like 17 directions. Harry I have no Styles. absolute king of comedy
5:04- Phil wonders what would happen if he put a giant wax strip around Dan's head and ripped it off. his mind works in strange ways. Dan thinks it would decapitate him, Phil thinks it would make a good tiktok.
5:22- P: this is the naked, raw razor. D: put a rubber on it, a protective guard P: I've got this, be safe, I've got.. this is a haircutting video but dnp have managed to encourage safe sex somehow
5:35- Phil calls the 13mm guard 13in, then proceeds to comment how he "doesn't know how big a 13 incher is" more pure filth, this man knows no bounds
5:53- whole discussion involving the phrases "Dan's backdoor action", how Phil's gonna film it anyway and "OnlyDans" and how Phil will not be paying for that. so help me God.
6:05- more than 1/4th of the way through the video and they're actually getting started, have that giddy 'shit this is actually happening' moment
6:22- one thing I find really interesting, while Phil's been kind of bopping around and not really touching Dan even though he's right there, he puts a pretty solid hand on his shoulder when he actually does the first cut
6:55- P: yes, yes, ahh! D: ok you're not narrating a porn, can you concentrate slightly? back to filth, but also Phil's stressed, no-context commentary really isn't confidence inspiring
6:59- NEW HOUSE PIC I'm really curious what this room is? with like a built in shelf and little desk thing with a mirror above it. also the floor seems to be covered in some paper stuff, idk if it's like a protective layer for while builders are still stomping around? I'm still really curious about their flooring choices. 2nd pic is one we've seen before
7:10- Talk of golden pig and Phil starts shaving the chair. Dan's face and concerned voice here are so funny to me, he suddenly sounds a lot more british
7:25- Phil, ever a man of innovation, has a solution for getting the hair off the back of Dan's neck, which is a handheld hoover.
7:38- P: I think I just gave you a hoover hickey. wth Phil
7:47- both agree that beetroot is the best vegetable crisp. maybe the divorce over mushy peas can be recovered as they find common ground
8:13- the mushroom stage has been reached, and Dan is horrified. Phil insists that this is only stage one, and it always looks bad, which tbh is kind of true
8:36- Dan is concerned for his ears and wonders if he can sue Phil or get his Adsense. Phil asserts that he does not get his Adsense. There was a missed quip here from Phil about him paying Dan in exposure, but alas.
9:09- Phil encourages Dan to describe his book in 60 seconds to distract him from the stress of Phil cutting around his ears
9:17- Dan describes his book, how mental health applies to everyone, etc. etc.
9:34- First 'yeah' on the yeah counter, the whole counter had me rofling. Phil is being a good active listener! making sure that Dan knows he is being listened to! his 'yeah's just sound kind of flat lmao
9:48- Phil talks about how he is anxious and stressed a lot, and has realized that's not the ways he should be all the time and there are ways to deal with it
10:18- Phil says the book is personal and asks Dan how he feels about people seeing him completely 'naked'. his little laugh and smug-ish face after this, as well as the fact that it's zoomed in on is A Lot. what the fuck, Phil, cheeky shit
10:35- overlay of Reasons Why Dan's a Fail title screen, Phil really loves bringing up old 'cringy' Dan video things lmao (like the sexy endscreen dance overlay in the phan CAH vid)
11:16- Phil makes 'you will get through this haircut' joke. Dan is -.-
11:26- They choose random page to spoil, ends up being 'let's talk about the D word' I'm assuming in the book this means depression (could be wrong, tbf), but Phil is happy look straight into the camera and say "he's talking about d*ck".
11:33- Second try lands on 'more people, more problems'. about roasting the people that you live with, need for mutual understanding and appreciation of boundaries, which is actually really fucking sweet when you know they would hate not living with each other. Dan ends it with a joke about agreements using communal areas "#bath-" I'm assuming this was some reference to Phil spending too long in the bath/bathroom?
12:03- reminiscing and roasting each other's questionable hair choices over the years
12:10- finally time to go in with the scissors, Dan freaking out a bit. one litle thing I noticed and really appreciate is how Phil does actually stop and wait for Dan to finish what he's saying before putting the scissors back in his hair and asks before he actually cuts it.
12:37- Phil attempts to 'clean up the back' and make a straight line, queue heavy amount of straight jokes
12:49- turns out a jaggy, putting on my haircutting hat for a moments rant here, I really don't understand how you could do
that badly like, it isn't that hard. also so much of Phil's problem was just not using enough different sizes/lengths of guard, so that there weren't noticeable edges in between lengths, really the biggest downfall
13:07- Dan talks about how he's "a bit emo at the moment these days", how making the book has made him think about their life and everything that has happened over the last 10 years, how far they've come and grown up and stuff, wanting people to be happy because he hasn't been happy in a lot of the last 10 years.
something about this little bit reminds me of Dan talking about tabinof, like while they are hugely different books thematically, they have a lot of reflective and sentimental importance for him.
13:40- Therapist Phil connects that Dan is vulnerably putting himself out there with the book, as well as sitting in the chair and vulnerably allowing Phil to cut his hair. Dan doesn't like giving other people control.
13:59- Phil finally uses a mid-length guard to even things out a bit and it looks not as glaringly horrendous. still a 'perimeter' though. second ear is a bit more of a struggle
14:54- "Dan and Phil are gonna scissor" freak out over, back to filth
15:03- Phil really goes for it with trimming the side fringe, takes off a bit more than he should
15:24- after panicking, Dan pushes his hair around a bit and has a moment of realization and asks "do I look like a hot american tiktok zoomer?" moment for playing with hair and having fun imitating tiktokers
15:74- more book spoilers, page on 'social life', Dan jokes about how Phil needs this one (this is cut in? I'm not sure if it was from when they were going through the book the first time)
16:08- thinning shears come out, Phil is making happy sound effects that do not match with the stress of this whole situation
16:12- Phil ends up sprinkling some cut hair on Dan's crisp when he is about to eat it. Dan says "don't salt bae my own hair" which I had to look up 'cause I thought it was some bougie cooking term, but turns out 'salt bae' is the name of the meme with the guy sprinkling stuff. themoreyouknow.gif
16:18- talk about how when Dan was writing the book, sometimes he's randomly be up in the night writing. Phil tells a story 'waking up to get a glass of milk' and getting jumpscared by Dan in the lounge on his laptop. Fully believe that the jumpscare happened, just waking up next to him rather than 'getting up to get a glass of milk' but ok. reminds me of that clip from witl with Dan sitting in the bed in the dark writing on his laptop and Phil like 'what are you doing?'
16:42- yeah counter only made it to 4 but here is another one as Phil is listening to Dan
17:03- Phil is accidentally done. it looks "good" and "cool" imho a bit of a stretch but it's not the worst
17:37- Dan gets the tour, it's a mess. Dan says "Phil, tidy me up" which while I don't think it was meant to be filth, sounds to me like it could be right out of a smut fic. maybe I just have a terrible mind
17:46- a bit more of a look of what's behind the camera, Phil's laptop sitting on the pillar of cubes is causing me immense amounts of stress. there's a black shelf in the background, looks like it has a cute plushie and some figurines on it as well as some binders/books
17:49- discussion of how the top is all right (aka the bit Phil touched the least lol)
17:52- D: I'm a good top, just the bottom, people might want it but it's not there. More filth. Right after Dan says "I'm a good top" there's a zoom in, and while I get it's something they do for funny bits, dear GOD would I have liked to see Phil's face journey during this section.
18:07- ending book spon
18:26- Dan 'wholesome goodbyes' Howell talks about the importance of having people to support you and how Phil has been that for him. sappy, makes me cry. "through all the existential crisis, you've been there, feeding me snacks" this just reminds me of the College Dropout video, where Phil comforts Dan and offers him some chocolate as he comes out of his breakdown. that sketch has always felt so real to me and it really hits how Phil has been such an important support for Dan
18:41- Phil says thanks, but says it was too positive and slaps Dan to break the tension. Classic goodbyes and thumbing
18:52- D: hey, subscribe to me, I'm gonna upload something in June. very exciting, and feels weird to know that a Dan upload is coming in not to long? is this real life?
19:14- Phil's really sweet post-message on how he is proud of Dan, how he's grown, is too modest about the book. Phil laughed and cried. Phil has seen how happy Dan has been after learning this stuff and wants that for us
This end clip is a LOT so here's a few broken down thoughts:
1. looks like Phil also got a haircut between the filming of the video and this clip
2. this clip just makes me so emotional. I saw someone on twitter say how it has a lot of BONCAS and [redacted] (v-day vid) energy and I agree. I really, really appreciate Phil taking a moment to express how proud he is of Dan, it's just so fucking loving and makes me crY. it was honestly jarring to have the cut to the square webcam and the moment of such sincerity from Phil. I've also just generally been having some Feelings about how little things feel like sort of throwbacks to 2009-10 deppy, but in a grown up, comfortable way (really feels like observing young love from then and later, married type love now, we just got cut out a bit in the middle (and that's ok) Honestly it feels so healing to me and I dearly hope it feels that way to them.
3. Dan's comment to Phil's end bit is just icing on the cake of me already being emo about them
wowee that was a lot. this video was a lot and I love it a lot
Am I the only one who totally saw some kind of echo of the wedding proposal ghost?
