Dan and Phil Part 103: we're all doomed!

Our two favourite full time internet nerds who never go outside!
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shan
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Just went for a bit of a sneaky peak at the ticket sales for Cambridge and Oxford with the new dates and it looks like it was the right move. Cambridge has basically sold out now and Oxford's selling pretty well too.
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alittledizzy
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No spoilers but I'm working on the transcript now and this is such a dense show. I could really fly through the II transcriptions when I did them because it was a lot of banter, but Dan's show... it's THICC. I'm at 15 pages on this word document and I'm still just shy of the intermission. For anyone that either ways to be totally spoiled or won't be able to catch the show and just wants to know how it goes, it'll be in the transcriptions section when I'm done. I'm thinking I'll post it in two parts, which means the show transcript up until intermission should definitely be up today.

But yeah - the density. He just says... so many words. And shockingly, so far, I kinda love them all.

edit: transcript for the first half of the show is up!
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LtrllySusan
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After glancing over the transcript, I'm considering selling my ticket. It just seems so... ranty and negative? I assume the part after the intermission will be more uplifting but I don't think this kind of humor is for me. Reminds me of John Oliver/Last Week Tonight, which I also don't watch anymore because the couple of jokes don't make up for the overall shit feeling I have after.

If anyone who's seen the show wants to sell me on it, please go ahead :shrug:
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Afunnyworld
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Havent seen the show yet or even purchased a ticket yet, but I still plan to go. For me personally, things that make me cringe in written format, or even in video format, have a completely different feel in person. The audience, the reactions, just the feelings of the space can completely change the exact same joke or comment and take it from annoying to relatable, or from kinda cringe to heartfelt.
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starsandshards
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It kind of feels like a really long video of Dan's? I can imagine it's better/funnier in person with all the effects and so on, but I'm kind of underwhelmed. Still want to read the 2nd half though. It's not terrible.
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alittledizzy
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LtrllySusan wrote: Wed Sep 14, 2022 4:44 am After glancing over the transcript, I'm considering selling my ticket. It just seems so... ranty and negative? I assume the part after the intermission will be more uplifting but I don't think this kind of humor is for me. Reminds me of John Oliver/Last Week Tonight, which I also don't watch anymore because the couple of jokes don't make up for the overall shit feeling I have after.

If anyone who's seen the show wants to sell me on it, please go ahead :shrug:
Afunnyworld wrote: Wed Sep 14, 2022 9:25 am Havent seen the show yet or even purchased a ticket yet, but I still plan to go. For me personally, things that make me cringe in written format, or even in video format, have a completely different feel in person. The audience, the reactions, just the feelings of the space can completely change the exact same joke or comment and take it from annoying to relatable, or from kinda cringe to heartfelt.
starsandshards wrote: Wed Sep 14, 2022 1:27 pm It kind of feels like a really long video of Dan's? I can imagine it's better/funnier in person with all the effects and so on, but I'm kind of underwhelmed. Still want to read the 2nd half though. It's not terrible.
I think Dan's tone and delivery sells a lot of it. The audience is super engaged, most of the jokes are getting a good response, and his delivery is quite good. I'd say it's like a really long video of Dan's but in the best way. It's not the vibe of his Dystopia Daily show where it's overacting/exaggerated - or when it is it fits because this is a stage show and he's projecting.

But I also don't mind the humor, I like the topics he's covering and that this is Dan getting real about some things. There are so many fascinating personal tidbits too - we're still keeping spoilers under tags but I can go into more detail under a spoiler tag if people are interested in discussing it. I think the comparison to Last Week Tonight isn't off-base - but I'm also a regular LWT fan.

I'm seeing the show in a week and a half and I'm also very curious to see if the live experience comes across to me the same way just listening did.
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starsandshards
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alittledizzy wrote: Wed Sep 14, 2022 1:51 pm I think Dan's tone and delivery sells a lot of it. The audience is super engaged, most of the jokes are getting a good response, and his delivery is quite good. I'd say it's like a really long video of Dan's but in the best way. It's not the vibe of his Dystopia Daily show where it's overacting/exaggerated - or when it is it fits because this is a stage show and he's projecting.
This is what I was hoping! It's always weird to read it out, none of that atmosphere is there and so on.
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Okay I finally had the time and energy to do some timestamps of the video, hidden for size.

0.00 Recap of what's to come. I was not prepared
0:13 Dan looking out at the rain, piano music, sending texts to people for collabs. I really wonder who he contacted and how real that is (someone mentioned Abigail Thorn and I would eat that up)
0:35 Fake typing, great acting skills Danny
0:38 Hi! *Cackling laugh*
0:49 colloab orate
1:09 "I've no interest in talking to anyone, hanging out with anyone or frankly doing anything" and still he keeps talking about casual sex, makes no sense
1.35 "Literally. No one. Replied." I wonder how many he reached out to?
2:12 The most dramatic eye roll
2:16 Phil!! The first we've seen of him in ages!! He looks lost in a parking lot. And didn't really dress up for the occasion. Great giggle when he steps inside.
2:44 "It looks like the inside of your mind and I've walked into it. But there's less fursuits"
3:30 Phil was just sprayed in the butt by a toilet
3:50 Phil ate a butterfly as a toddler because of course he did
3:54 Aubergine water? Sure. Very awkward fumbling hands.
4:29 "I came because I'm your-" CAN PHIL EXPRESS AN OPINION
4:37 ~Tour ad~
4:57 "We have really done it Phil." "We've done IT" Phil says while nodding knowing towards the camera. He's so ready to serve that scoop
5:08 "They want the truth, for once Phil! They just want the goddamn truth. Are we gay? Did we fuck? What the fuck is the situation now? Do we really live together? Where is Phil's secret wife? STOP THE LIES" Honestly justice for Janice, hope she's okay. But Phil likes to be aloof and mysterious.
5:50 "What Phil isn't saying is you need to mind your fucking business" but how else are you going to pay for that mortgage Daniel
6:10 Phil looks delightfully confused about what is happening. Same.
6:17 Enter the bespoke activity area (is this a thing in talkshows? I don't think I've seen one in about a decade)
6:50 "Phil. Are we guilty of committing a sin?" "A few :)" Dan consideres swwtty clickbait while I almost think that thumbnail is more clickbaity
7:21 Phil has an octuplet. A single one. Love that for him. And it makes Dan break character which is pretty funny.
7:33 Phil admits to being somewhat guilty of clickbait (remember that this is the guy who would put suggestive clips at the middle of the video so he would have a saucy thumbnail, he's been doing it for ever). Dan defends him of course.
8:00 Heretoforth *snap* they then argue about the concept of the video (I don't think Phil ever really got it). "I wish that literally anyone else but you were here" "I'm going to throw you off that chair"
9:51 Truth 1: They almost didn't get a place together because Dan wanted to move out. I'm really curious about which place they almost didn't get (my guess is second London apartment). Dan thought he would be more productive on his own. I want to remind him that during the short time he did live on his own he procrastinated studying by being with Phil all the time, come on.
10:40 Truth 2: One for the floorplan stalkers (can we have that as a status here btw), the last flat wasn't real *pretends to be shocked*.
11:15 Tour of the last place.
11:46 Truth 3: The second tour almost didn't happen because Dan wanted to cancel it. Dan always freak out when there's commitment (and he was secretly gay). I feel like this was around the time of the june video that never happened. Phil: "I don't know how to cry, they just stay inside my head".
13:00 Truth 4: One of the very big projects over the years they didn't want to do, they were forced to do it. I'm still unsure about this one, my first thought was DAPGO, but it could also have been Tatinof or maybe SAP?
13:38 Truth 5: Phil had an invasive medical examination (a hot doctor fondled his balls). Phil was so excited to get some action that he facebook stalked the doctor.
15:19 Truth 6: Phil wanted to keep up with DAPG and Dan didn't. But he still doesn't want to commit to the Q word (quit). And yes, we want one sims video a year, please. Dab and Evan are so neglected.
16:23 Truth 7: A brand wanted to sponsor them for a video, so they were flown out to Zürich and offered cocaine at a restaurant. I have many questions about this arrangement. They said no, took the money and left (so they did the sponsorship? Or did they get paid anyway?)
17:12 Truth 8: Dan ripped his shorts in front of a hot personal trainer. The full D was released
18:19 Truth 9: Phil got shitfaced in Prague, kissed a girl and smoked a cigarette. The horror.
19:31 Truth 10: Dan hates Animal Crossing. Dan gets worked up and makes some great faces.
20:58 Truth 11: Over the decade quite a few people, mostly straight women, have propositioned them for a threesome. A couple of them were notable celebrities, one wouldn't care if it got out and one is off the grid. Phil does absolutely not want to get sued and ends the game.
22:20 Phil brought the golden pig for the set. "I'm going to take a single black rose" he says holding up a tulip
23:13 Melodramatic ending where Dan deletes Phil's number, the end.
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flarequake
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‘Holding up a tulip’ from the timestamps :rofl: oh, I’m easily amused today. Also I hadn’t actually noticed :roll:
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kavat
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Guys we finally have an answer for where Phil has been
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alittledizzy
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Dan has been posting instagram stories from York and... he cute :(
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alittledizzy wrote: Fri Sep 16, 2022 2:01 pm Dan has been posting instagram stories from York and... he cute :(
V cute :3 Hoping for more stories like these as the tour continues. I want to see the things he sees and how he sees them!
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feenix
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Still watching the new video, I'm actually sort of shook that he acknowledged his formspring from back in the day. And also that he says he's vers. Getting the real tea now ig?? hahaha.

Genuinely enjoying it so far, though, I just like him talking to us again, it feels good.

PS... is anyone else at the Birmingham show tomorrow?
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Not to get too grupmy but as a gay guy, the whole 'dan is a bottom' thing has always given me a 'teenage girls who fetishize gay men' vibe. I really didn't like seeing it so much in one video :shrug: Like, as he was right to say, based on what?

Maybe if he was out here giving major femboy realness or something I could tolerate it, but the man is just a regular, tall English bloke. If anything stereotypes would indicate the opposite, but even then there's no need for that :shrug:
Last edited by Yawn on Fri Sep 16, 2022 6:45 pm, edited 2 times in total.
soveinco
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At first I was surprised by Dan's "actually I've never done BDSM" answer, but then I remembered how their section of "YouTubers React to the Slap" went, and i was like . . . OK, yeah, I can see how that maybe never became a thing for them! Not much of a plot twist, actually.

I really loved the video; he's still Dan, so he still gets into the deeper analysis of the whole concept (can't help himself!!), but then we also GET TO SEE HIS FACE and also HEAR HIM TALK. I love it.

Also, possibly one of his all-time greatest word flops at the beginning. Right up there with "full-time internet homo"
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See, even when he tries to do "easy" content he puts his own spin on it and does it his way. This was really fun!

- "Some shit a youtuber would do" could probably just be replaced with "some shit phil already did"
- Top/bottom discussion is so tiresome
- Dan just killed the smut writers' bdsm fantasies while also giving them fuel for the fire, what an impressive move
- OH how I want him to go in deeper on the phandom assumption. The timeline for that was a bit off (I feel like 2012-2015 probably would have been more accurate) but you can tell he has a lot of complicated feelings about it.
- I deeply want to analyze the bit where he says he doesn't know when people are winding him up and when they are just rude. Unfortunately I think the answer is about 50/50.
- Dan doesn't wash his feet and I'm upset
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soveinco wrote: Fri Sep 16, 2022 6:35 pm At first I was surprised by Dan's "actually I've never done BDSM" answer, but then I remembered how their section of "YouTubers React to the Slap" went, and i was like . . . OK, yeah, I can see how that maybe never became a thing for them! Not much of a plot twist, actually.

I really loved the video; he's still Dan, so he still gets into the deeper analysis of the whole concept (can't help himself!!), but then we also GET TO SEE HIS FACE and also HEAR HIM TALK. I love it.

Also, possibly one of his all-time greatest word flops at the beginning. Right up there with "full-time internet homo"
ahahaha agreed. Whilst 'full-time internet homo' will forever be iconic, he sure did pull it out the bag in this vid too!

I did think the most interesting thing about this was him going WHAT DO YOU ALL SEE?! I know for the, er, more invasive assumptions that's...yeah valid. But it's just, idk, telling, I think..for some of the other assumptions. Also telling for which he made a joke of or acknowledged but didn't actually confirm/deny.

I enjoyed this vid a lot. Especially the outrage at the tory assumption cause duh.

PS I bet you he and Phil get an ocado delivery. So not quite Waitrose... (This isn't shade because I do it too lol)
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I'm also cackling at the person off-camera trying to explain to a disbelieving Dan what the concept of crumpled toilet paper is. Is this content I never would have expected from Daniel Howell? Yes! Is it also making me laugh a ridiculous amount, in a good way? Also yes.
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parallel
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I am also surprised Dan's never done BDSM lol, would've thought he'd have tried something at least once.

I'm horrified that he doesn't wash his feet though. It's not difficult to just stand on one leg, lift one of your feet up, and put some shower gel on it... Your feet get all sweaty and stinky. You've gotta wash them.

I think the pissing sitting down person was probably being for real but regardless I get the same vibes lmao. Literally no reason. He just has sitter vibes.

Also, re: him saying he's vers, didn't he already say that in BIG? I know he said it as part of a joke but also I don't know why you'd say "I'm versatile" in a light-hearted jokey way if you weren't... I'm sure you can work in a similar joke for being a top or a bottom if that's the case lol. I'm not particularly bothered by the fact that people submitted that as an assumption because those are probably the kinds of things you're "supposed" to submit as assumptions, ie the invasive/personal/sexual stuff so that the youtuber can act all shocked and admonish their audience. But it would probably get annoying if it were like every other submission.

Anyway, that was a fun video. I didn't find Dan's persona particularly grating in this one, and I liked it much more than Dan's "effort" videos which I find both cringey and pretentious. I think his personality as an entertainer would work quite well with more typical youtube stuff. Obviously he can do whatever he likes and if he makes videos I don't like then I can just go watch something else, but that's just my personal thoughts on his content.
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parallel wrote: Fri Sep 16, 2022 10:12 pm I am also surprised Dan's never done BDSM lol, would've thought he'd have tried something at least once.

I'm horrified that he doesn't wash his feet though. It's not difficult to just stand on one leg, lift one of your feet up, and put some shower gel on it... Your feet get all sweaty and stinky. You've gotta wash them.

I think the pissing sitting down person was probably being for real but regardless I get the same vibes lmao. Literally no reason. He just has sitter vibes.

Also, re: him saying he's vers, didn't he already say that in BIG? I know he said it as part of a joke but also I don't know why you'd say "I'm versatile" in a light-hearted jokey way if you weren't... I'm sure you can work in a similar joke for being a top or a bottom if that's the case lol. I'm not particularly bothered by the fact that people submitted that as an assumption because those are probably the kinds of things you're "supposed" to submit as assumptions, ie the invasive/personal/sexual stuff so that the youtuber can act all shocked and admonish their audience. But it would probably get annoying if it were like every other submission.

Anyway, that was a fun video. I didn't find Dan's persona particularly grating in this one, and I liked it much more than Dan's "effort" videos which I find both cringey and pretentious. I think his personality as an entertainer would work quite well with more typical youtube stuff. Obviously he can do whatever he likes and if he makes videos I don't like then I can just go watch something else, but that's just my personal thoughts on his content.
Agreed with last paragraph. I've been of the mindset recently that if Dan wants to do "impactful" stuff, truly, then he should show not tell. Similar to how, say, Julien Solomita does streams/vids about his grey hound fostering and even streams from animal welfare farms, Dan should show himself trying different ways to, for example, help the planet (maybe getting an allotment and vlogging the process of growing and eating his own fruit/veg). If he wants to be a figurehead, he needs to lead by example. And he can still put his own humorous spin on it all!

Damn now I'm just imagining Phil coming and inspecting his allotment and giving 'feedback' and Dan's like YOU CAN'T EVEN KEEP PLANTS ALIVE FOR A WEEKEND WHILE I'M AWAY, GTFO. That would be GOLD.
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000dia000
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"I said I was bisexual on formspring when I was a teenager and I spent ten years trying to delete it" :rofl:

"you hated the phandom between 2014-2016" - part the seas indeed, think like 2012-2018, boom, perfect!

"you sit down to pee" - accurate

can I just say, I find it so very weird how online debate whether a real life person is a top or bottom. i get second hand embarrassment remembering when angel bean phil lester was delegated a daddy dom simple for being in conjunction with subby baby bottom dan howell

also can dan wash feet pls :')

also, controversial idea: what if dan ever did a "react" to IDB? He's weirdly at that point in his career where he's both oversharing and also comfortable enough talking with fans more casually. There's no real active community on reddit or tumblr, so except for from twitter this forum is kind of the only space. He's kind of unpredictable at the moment so it's a dangerous possibility.
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000dia000 wrote: Sat Sep 17, 2022 2:24 pm "I said I was bisexual on formspring when I was a teenager and I spent ten years trying to delete it" :rofl:

"you hated the phandom between 2014-2016" - part the seas indeed, think like 2012-2018, boom, perfect!

"you sit down to pee" - accurate

can I just say, I find it so very weird how online debate whether a real life person is a top or bottom. i get second hand embarrassment remembering when angel bean phil lester was delegated a daddy dom simple for being in conjunction with subby baby bottom dan howell

also can dan wash feet pls :')

also, controversial idea: what if dan ever did a "react" to IDB? He's weirdly at that point in his career where he's both oversharing and also comfortable enough talking with fans more casually. There's no real active community on reddit or tumblr, so except for from twitter this forum is kind of the only space. He's kind of unpredictable at the moment so it's a dangerous possibility.
Tbh Phil being assigned angel bean and people unironically buying his innocent persona for years was also pretty bad... Not as invasive-bad, just dumb

There's in fact a reasonably active D&P Reddit though I doubt Dan would like it there. There's been a lot of constructive, fairly thought out criticism of him there recently
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000dia000
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gnostic wrote: Sat Sep 17, 2022 5:10 pm
000dia000 wrote: Sat Sep 17, 2022 2:24 pm "I said I was bisexual on formspring when I was a teenager and I spent ten years trying to delete it" :rofl:

"you hated the phandom between 2014-2016" - part the seas indeed, think like 2012-2018, boom, perfect!

"you sit down to pee" - accurate

can I just say, I find it so very weird how online debate whether a real life person is a top or bottom. i get second hand embarrassment remembering when angel bean phil lester was delegated a daddy dom simple for being in conjunction with subby baby bottom dan howell

also can dan wash feet pls :')

also, controversial idea: what if dan ever did a "react" to IDB? He's weirdly at that point in his career where he's both oversharing and also comfortable enough talking with fans more casually. There's no real active community on reddit or tumblr, so except for from twitter this forum is kind of the only space. He's kind of unpredictable at the moment so it's a dangerous possibility.
Tbh Phil being assigned angel bean and people unironically buying his innocent persona for years was also pretty bad... Not as invasive-bad, just dumb

There's in fact a reasonably active D&P Reddit though I doubt Dan would like it there. There's been a lot of constructive, fairly thought out criticism of him there recently
oh yeah, and making him out to be a manchild who doesn't know what sex is

The /r/danandphil subreddit (I assume? unless more!) is actually a lot more active than I remember it to be and has some interesting discussion, so thanks for correcting me :loveeyes: gonna go snoop
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parallel
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Dan has now clarified that he was joking about not washing his feet. Well how were we supposed to know. You're a white man; you may have been serious about it.

Also I don't know if I believe him or if he's just trying to save face. If anyone's going to meet Dan at some point, sniff his feet for us all and report back.
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I sighed and accepted Dan and Phil as a [likely, presumptive] couple when someone leaked their vacation airbnb
Can you say more about this? I must have missed the leaked airbnb
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