Dan and Phil Part 105: Gay 🧡

[feenix]

I'm so curious also about who knew in their lives? Which of their friends were keeping the secret for them, and which were as clueless as the rest of us?

Tbh, I think only PJ and Sophie and Bryony actually knew. Also probably Crabstickz just because he hung out with them a lot before and PJ also knew. Catrific too I think.

Louise, I think, didn't confront them about it, and didn't really know, but they didn't try to hide stuff from her. Like less filtery than the others, but still not a total insider.

Others, I genuinely think knew nothing about their relationship. Like maybe they asked and were met with a non-answer and they didn't ask further than that.

But of course I could be wrong. I hope other people give their opinions on who probably knew as well as this is something I'm also really curious about.

I thought the same about PJ, Sophie and Bryony, and also thought Crabstickz was likely because of how close they were early on. Anyone else, including Cat, Louise, Anthony... I'm not too sure.

[Grey]

hi hello, another person logging in for the first time in? 8 years maybe? (which you can tell by my extremely outdated millennial humor username, i’m embarrassed too)

anyways, what a wild ride, congrats to dnp for fighting the rpf war on the side of rpf and winning, genuinely so happy for them!

if i may add something to debate to my ‘yay phan!’ post, one thing that stood out to me about the video, is that i think they downplayed how much the shipping and speculating kept their career afloat through…. questionable choices…. don’t get me wrong, i don’t blame them, they’re free to contextualize the psychological torture we put them through however they want tbh, but i do think that the tension between shipping driving them insane, while simultaneously making them successful (and also between their audience being extremely supportive and loyal, but also invasive) is one of the most interesting aspects of the bizarre life they are experiencing, and kind of key to understanding their choices too, like why they didn’t stop making content together back in 2014 / tried to separate their brands straight away to stop the speculation

ps, if anyone here still remembers me, hope you all are doing great!

not to double post but i completely agree with this. a frustration i had with the rhetoric is that all of my friends who were passingly aware of dan and phil and excited about the announcement are speaking to me about it like we're from two completely different worlds, which i guess we are. from my perspective, it's not an easy "just talk about the content!" answer, because as we know the content was built off the back of the relationship. there's so many bullet points i could add here, but i know you all know them already.

the one thing that i have been bringing up to well meaning "normies" is the part where dnp talked about the sunday times article, and how they thought it was weird or invasive that the journalist researched them beforehand, as if that is not quite literally their job. like of course you didn't like that article, it was from the perspective of a confused certified grown up who didn't know what the hell you were about! and that section they shared is the one that we referenced a lot on this side of the fandom, because it was basically the first time that question wasn't met with an outward denial? idk.

tldr; i think dnp are allowed to construct whatever meaning from their own lives makes the most sense to them, but the interesting stuff is the stuff that isn't as pretty or clear cut. at least to me. at least in my opinion.

I thought that's what the terrible influence tour was about.

Some lyrics from their song:
"You ruined my life, you kept me fed,
If it weren't for you, I would be dead.
What's theory, what's real, what's just fiction?
Is it queer baiting or homoerotic friction?
Endless greed, ruthless ambition,
Commissions open for the naked depiction"

Seem to speak directly to what you're saying.

Obviously "is phan real?" is a question many are interested in even if they haven't been keeping up with dnp. So I assume lots of people who watched their recent video didn't watch their tour. But they did do the tour. And it did speak to these themes.

[plinthofmylife]

I am so happy for those post-BIG phannies who get to experience the joy of the collective meltdown at having confirmation of something we've known all along and getting to get to a whole nother level of openness in content.


Also I have to say as a slightly older phandom member (same age as Phil) that's been watching Phil since 2006 (3 B.D.E. - Before Dan Era), the comments on the video really get to me: People who watched dip and pip since they were 13 and now they are a doctor now, or mother now, or beat cancer before Phan was confirmed. People saying they realized their gender or sexuality and met their partner through the phandom.

I feel like the phandom and nerdfighteria are two of my favorite communities born out of early Youtube. I am so proud to be connected to a global group of people who just like to watch two british nerds yapping.

[LAshleigh]

I feel like the phandom and nerdfighteria are two of my favorite communities born out of early Youtube.

I am always excited by and curious about overlaps between the phandom and nerdfighteria! I feel like most of us who fit in both communities tend to be "older" (i.e. close to or over 30 lmao), but my data is probably incomplete.

The respect between those four guys is always lovely to see, as well. John interviewed Dan about YWGTTN, I believe Dan had dinner at John's house during WAD, Hank has worn and praised Phil's merch, and of course they had all met at Vidcon. Feel free to add on if there's anything I missed!

Also thought this was nice - the first "professional" post I've seen that sort of respected their wishes and added an interesting fact:

[Note]

i think they downplayed how much the shipping and speculating kept their career afloat through…. questionable choices…. don’t get me wrong, i don’t blame them, they’re free to contextualize the psychological torture we put them through however they want tbh, but i do think that the tension between shipping driving them insane, while simultaneously making them successful (and also between their audience being extremely supportive and loyal, but also invasive) is one of the most interesting aspects of the bizarre life they are experiencing

I think they were very clear about where they draw the line: shipping is great, speculation is fine, snooping and "archaeology" is not. It was the egregious invasions of privacy that "drove them insane" and nearly drove them to break up, not the shipping–and only a small portion of their viewers were responsible for the former. For example figuring out they were filming from a different apartment unit by piecing together clues from the videos was fine; proving it by doxxing them would not have been fine.

[LAshleigh]

Speaking of nerdfighteria, I forgot the biggest crossover, Payton! She does social media stuff for Hank (and maybe also John?) and is a longtime phannie

[Twitter]https://x.com/paytmitch/status/1977848991061627000[/Twitter]

Also Dan is already tweeting about the Phivorce:
[Twitter]https://x.com/danielhowell/status/1978423112854057304[/Twitter]

I will be back to fix that formatting issue unless a mod can get to it first

[somelikeitpink]

I would like to thank google (I know I can't believe it) for saving my password so I could actually log in.

I've had almost 48 hours now to digest the video and I'm still not over it. I was always firmly in the believer camp, but I hadn't really considered an actual possibility they'd ever come out - nevermind like THAT. I did consider that they might get an additional sense of freedom if they did come out - but I always idk.. expected it smaller? I never in a million years expected such a long video and it was so lovely to see how many people who had followed them over the years it brought together.

The video itself was beautiful and thoughtful - and like.. as much as I appreciate BIG for what it was and why it was important it was the way it was, I can see so much how phils presence lightened up the video now. How even when they were talking about the bad times that shimmer of hope and fun was always there and I mean.. we knew that about Phil but it was still so nice to see.

Knowing how much Dan struggled with it all kinda of .. feels like it shouldn't have been a surprise but was? Or at least it surprised me just how honest he was about what that did to their relationship too.
Phil... honestly the patience and love that man has for dan is insane. Not because I don't think he doesn't deserve it but because I just.. the fact that he went back into the closet and believably didn't mind one bit to just wait for 16 (!!!!) years for his partner to be ready to declare themselves a couple is INSANE to me. I think I always kind of assumed that like.. yeah they might not hold hands in public but everything else was fair game? So to know now that they just.. completely restructured their relationship to basically only happen indoors... I wonder (in a non invasive way) what that now must also do for their relationship. I know they said they aren't the type to go for romantic dinners but like.. they also never could? I'm so happy for them that maybe they can now rediscover how they want to live their relationship with no more fear.

I actually... I know they don't want us to romanticise their relationship but I need them to understand how lucky they are. The chances of finding somebody that you are THAT compatible with. Not just in terms of interests and shared life experience but also.. who is willing to go through ALL THAT and stay together? Like.. I am sure they are appreciative of each other but I need them to understand that quite frankly thats why I kinda idolise their relationship, not because I think its perfect.

I also wonder... I know they said that they won't be romantic on main.. but seriously even just everything in the last 24hrs was so romantic for me including Dans tweets today that I don't think their definition and our definition of romantic is the same.

And I know its getting long but: I am so excited to hear them talk more about their experience. I know somebody brought up here already that the mystery did help them a little but I also wonder.. all those queerbaiting titles especially after the Hiatus and all the lines they have essentially redrawn themselves from time to time.. was that all working up to this? Did they always know they were going to do this? How was that for them to do that?

I honestly can't wait to see what they do with the channel now and what they do with the podcast.

[Kuu]

Well dear god.

I guess they've managed to drag me out as well from the depths of god knows what alongside many others. I've never actively posted here but I was an avid reader (=lurker) back in the day. I had my own hiatus from D&P 2018-2023, came back for the gaming channel, and was quite sad to find this place so abandoned I'm so old-fashioned, I don't like social media like twitter etc, forums feel so coherent for me.

When I watched their post-hiatus content, I enjoyed them in a different way than when I was younger. I genuinely thought they wouldn't have such a hold on me anymore but dear god I've been shocked both by the candidness of this wonderful video and how much it affected me and made me reflect on my own life, and since I don't really have anyone irl who would actually understand this, here I am oversharing on a public forum

I'm close to Dan's age (I know for a fact that this is a place with some fellow oldies, shout-out to you!). I was an anxious young adult with probably undiagnosed depression watching their content 2014-2016 with such fervor, and getting so much solace and fun times from them. My mental health has improved greatly since then, and I guess I just feel such (parasocial) happiness that they, and especially Dan, seems to have found at least some inner peace now. Such a weird feeling, feeling something so strongly for people you don't actually know

Also, while I could never even imagine what torment their relationship has gone through, I'm also still with my first proper boyfriend, we're beating D&P by one year We haven't had to struggle the same way they have, but it has made me reflect on my own relationship and how lucky I also feel. It is such a peculiar thing to find someone so young and actually grow up together and have it actually work. I'm so glad they made it through to the other side intact.

So I don't know, I guess I just feel so sappy, sappy for them, sappy for my own relationship And I guess I'm firmly stuck on this D&P ride again, very much anticipating what kind of content they come up with now.

I also hope this forum stays alive, I thoroughly enjoy reading people's opinions here, I've gone through the newest ones and people make such great points

[dumbslet]

this is literally the only fandom i keep coming back to. i'm nearly 30 and i've been watching them since i was 17.

dan's tweet about breaking up made me lol, that is the most married thing i've seen anyone tweet in ages. it's also such a 2009, 18-year-old dan thing to tweet, and it makes me so happy to think that dan finally feels free and safe enough to share that part of himself with the world again.

[MythicalPinkTrashCan]

god what i would give for a dnp podcast

I have since this post watched the video multiple times. I was so emotionally invested in their story that by the end, when they announced it would be a podcast, I started to just cry tears of joy. I am a podcast girly and am so so excited.

[sapienveneficus]

Wow!

Like many others have said, I’m amazed I remembered my password. It took three tries, but I got there in the end.

I think my last post here was back in 2019. I got a bit active in the phantom during the Interactive Introverts era, but then, as it does, life got in the way. I’ve watched the odd gaming video over the years, but that’s it.

Well, Monday’s video has sent me down a “memory lane” rabbit hole. I’ve watched several of my favorite Dan vids, collab vids, and, of course, PINOF 1. I was having lunch with a colleague yesterday, and when she asked what I’d been up this week I was confronted with an old conundrum, “How on earth do I explain this to someone who has never been a part of a fandom?” Well, I did my best to stumble through an explanation and am currently curating a Dan and Phil starter pack that won’t startle a normie. (Wish me luck!)


But back to the video, I found it funny, heartwarming, a bit sad, and a bit convicting. I’ve always believed that they were together so the revelation was no surprise in and of itself. But I’d also come to expect that they’d never confirm anything so that was the surprise. When Phil addressed the v day video, I felt properly guilty. I never ran a conspiracy blog (The TRUTH.blogspot) or anything like that, but I’ve seen the video and quietly shared it with others. And hearing them talk about how the video leaking impacted them, well, that part of the video really hit home. I should have known better.


On the subject of who in their lives knew, I’ve always reckoned Phil’s family always knew. In his coming out video, Phil talks about how he never had to tell his parents because they saw who he was bringing home and put two and two together. At the time, I assumed that the “who he was bringing home” was Dan. I also reckoned that Dan’s family chose not to work it out or, if they had, they never said anything until after Dan’s email. As far as friends go, the names already listed here all make sense (PJ, Sophie, et al) but I’d throw into the mix TomSka and Felix (and his wife whose name escapes me). All of those folks were close to DnP for years and all seem pretty tight lipped.


Okay, enough rambling, now I need to get some work done before the start of the workday.

[plinthofmylife]

I feel like the phandom and nerdfighteria are two of my favorite communities born out of early Youtube.

I am always excited by and curious about overlaps between the phandom and nerdfighteria! I feel like most of us who fit in both communities tend to be "older" (i.e. close to or over 30 lmao), but my data is probably incomplete.

The respect between those four guys is always lovely to see, as well. John interviewed Dan about YWGTTN, I believe Dan had dinner at John's house during WAD, Hank has worn and praised Phil's merch, and of course they had all met at Vidcon. Feel free to add on if there's anything I missed!

I think you are almost def right about it being 30 or over for the overlapped folks. God, I have been following vlogbrothers since the original year (2007) so I just feel ancient when I think about all the moments we experienced.

I REALLY remember Phil doing a Project for Awesome video during the first or second P4A where he fundraised for a youth creative charity but I've never dug it up again so it might just be a fever dream.

I remember for awhile I really wanted Phil + Martyn to have a crossover podcast with Hank + John where they talked about running merch businesses with their brothers!!!

TY for posting the link with the mention of their palestine fundraising. I bet a phannie is running that social media acct. I genuinely think the Phandom > social media manager pipeline must be studied.

[jmorton]

I'm fairly certain Stephen Byrne knew about Dan and Phil and ... because he stopped doing youtube and went fully radio years ago he didn't get the probing questions others did. Remember that Phil was doing Apartment Red at the same time Dan and Phil Met and I think shortly after PINOF they did that Apartment Red video with Stephen on the Manchester eye with Dan holding the camera. If anyone remembers that video.

Maybe Jimmy (HiJimmy) was aware? He and Phil knew each other and we got that famous Jealous Dan glare moment. Dunno. All speculation at this point.

[lilabet]

Hello *waves*

I've been lurking on Tumblr since the Hiatus but I finally managed to log back in here! I thought my account had been deleted!

[liola]

Tell the world that the bitch is back

Anyone been on a kick of rewatching old videos? I gotta admit over the past couple of years I became a silent watcher, mostly because it seemed like we all agreed that we knew that they knew that we knew and that was how things would be.

But!!! They!!

I'm excited for the podcast, all I ever wanted was for them to yap at us, with or without additional context. I'm especially excited for the idea of getting more of Phil, now that he can finally be 100% free of the fear.

[Grey]

OH MY GOD THERE IS GOING TO BE A PODCAST SCHEDULE!!!

Now I'm wondering what they're going to talk about every Monday. I wonder if there will be segments like what Phil did for a while with his liveshows, like news story of week. Will there be guests?? I'm so intrigued and excited.

[Kuu]

Calling the podcast Hard Launch is wild I wonder does that mean them discussing their relationship is not entirely out of bounds? And weekly content, we're getting spoiled! Have they mentioned if it's audio only or with video as well?

I would love to have PJ and Sophie as guests!

[Philena]

Just another one logging in for old time's sake. I'm surprised at how many old user names I recognize.

I wonder if Hard Launch was the working title, and they just decided to stick to it?

[missemma]

So many people who have logged back in after a long time, it’s so nice to see you all again.

I am still not over Mondays video, my heart is so full for them and I am so happy that they both felt comfortable enough to share with us.

I often think how different everything in when I first joined the phandom back in 2014 to now, personal growth is real. I love how they can joke and laugh along with us now.

I am so excited for the podcast, plus the audio is out at 0800 which means I can listen to them on my way to work, lovely way to start off the week.

[MythicalPinkTrashCan]

Just another one logging in for old time's sake. I'm surprised at how many old user names I recognize.

I wonder if Hard Launch was the working title, and they just decided to stick to it?

I assume it's been the name the whole time since they got decor in the back with it. Genius for them, really.

My question is what does this mean for the "gaming" content? Do we think this will be it with gaming ("gaming") sprinkled in or just phodcast all the way? I know which one I hope, but I wouldn't be surprised if they stopped the gaming.

[parallel]

My question is what does this mean for the "gaming" content? Do we think this will be it with gaming ("gaming") sprinkled in or just phodcast all the way? I know which one I hope, but I wouldn't be surprised if they stopped the gaming.

They've said there will still be gaming, and content similar to the post-hiatus DAPG content. I assume less frequently because of the weekly podcast though.

I wonder does that mean them discussing their relationship is not entirely out of bounds?

They've said a bunch of stuff indicating that they will be telling stories they previously couldn't and used the word "overshare" a lot so... be scared?

Honestly I am sad that it looks like solo content is more or less being retired. I really liked Phil's solo content. Not that I don't like their joint content but Phil's solo videos are good in a different way and his sense of humour can really shine in them. Small price to pay though

[mez29]

I plan to rewatch once I get time and might have some more lukewarm takes to share after that, but for now I'm thinking about the fact that the rebrand/podcast launch happened in tandem with the relationship confirmation – as if they couldn't truly be "Dan and Phil' professionally without also being upfront about what their relationship is personally.

I'm not a podcast person and my gut reaction was "oh god I'm not going to listen to that" but … I'm also not a YouTube person and d+p is the only non-music YouTube channel I'm subscribed to, so I'm sure I'll make an exception for them yet again.

[literally_formless]

I just wanted to reflect for a second on the title of this thread - what an amazingly eventful and Gay time it's been since May 2024!

[greyarea]

What a week, huh? Though I can't relate to those who returned after a long break as I'm only on idb since post-dapg resurrection, it's been incredibly nice to see usernames I've come to recognize through reading the older threads. Welcome back!!

Is anyone else surprised by just how much attention the video got? It feels like every tabloid and a whole lot of normies—ex phannies and curious newcomers alike—have joined in on the fun and damn, it does truly feel like 2016 again. I think my favorite type of reaction has been "I have no idea who you guys are but I sat through the whole video because it was entertaining and now I'm a fan." It's cute. I hope the response hasn't been too overwhelming for them, although obviously things will subside soon enough.

I'm super excited for the podcast, long-form dnp content has always been my favorite. I wonder what they're going to talk about, will they split it up into different segments, have some kind of audience participation, games? I'm expecting a fair bit of awkwardness in the first episodes, especially if they filmed the first one before they posted the video and saw the overwhelmingly positive (and respectful) reactions it got. If that's the case I hope people give them time to adjust to a new platform and existing on the internet as an out couple.

Honestly though their ability to pull you back in should be studied because I'd grown a bit bored with the videos they were putting out on dapg since they came back from tour, like, a lot of them were fun, but it did feel like *some* were filmed just to placate us until they figured out what exactly they wanted to do next. But now I'm fully locked in again! And so incredibly happy for them and our community alike

[interruptfireworks]

hiiiiii, another person logging in for old times sake here

wow!!!!! what can you say, really (or: what can i say, word to dan howell). that video hit hard. i've seen lots of people saying they've rewatched it once or multiple times and i actually can't stand to rewatch it yet and probably won't for quite a while... it felt so raw and almost like i shouldn't be there at points. i know the whole point is that it's them being brave and taking back what's theirs but omg i really did feel like i was intruding on something so intimate at times. i very easily get second hand embarrassment from things, even just videos of people in public doing things, so i avoid watching those or look away from my screen and i'd describe it similar to that but obviously the emotion here isn't embarrassment

however, i have been rewatching some of my fav videos of theirs and they're hitting different. if anyone hasn't done that yet, i recommend pinof 1, blindfolded cat face game, halloween baking 2023, final google feud, massive pizza mukbang 2, date night disaster and phanniversary newlyweds. if anyone has other recommendations that give you those tingles, please share them

all the attention has surprised me but i assume it'll die down a bit and we'll be back to our smaller size, maybe not as small as before but i am missing the small fandom vibes. i don't wanna sound gatekeep-y and weird over some guys i don't know but some of the things i've seen people say about them after the video came out and the news erupted.... ugh

i can't wait for the podcast, i've dreamed about them having one but never thought they'd actually do it so i'm v excited. i never thought they'd hard launch but that makes it even more exciting for me, anything's possible