You don't sound like a bitch at all. You are young, there's no need to settle for someone you aren't on the same page with. Do what makes you happy. (Not that I'm saying you should be taking advice from an anonymous 22-year-old on a forum who has an avatar that is a derpy picture of Tyler Joseph holding some bananas, but yeah.He's not a bad guy, we have a lot of fun together, but I want my freedom and I want a career and be successful. Maybe I'm a bitch, I'm not sure.
)It got worse in the past few months. He's insecure because he can't keep me from doing what I want (actually a few of my relationships ended up because of this, I guess it says something about me as well). He thinks that if we get married and have children I will settle down. But I'm not ready for such a huge commitment yet.Ticia wrote:Mmm..that sounds complicated and emotionally tiring, but it looks like you've already made a decision
I was in a toxic relationship just like you described yours, and I finally got fed up and dumped his sorry ass, although until I mustered the courage, he had already coerced me into not accepting an overseas position. He was a good person, but at the end of the day, a partner has to support you and motivate you to become a better person, not exclusively his / her personal cheerleader.
From my cranky over-the-hill armchair of soon-to-be 46-ness: From experience and observation you grow a lot in your early to mid 20s. And very often you grow at different speeds and in different directions from the people you were close to a few years previously. There's nothing wrong with that, everyone needs to do things at their own pace.Lucet wrote: It got worse in the past few months. He's insecure because he can't keep me from doing what I want (actually a few of my relationships ended up because of this, I guess it says something about me as well). He thinks that if we get married and have children I will settle down. But I'm not ready for such a huge commitment yet.
I'll swap feet with you!!!! 5'9 and UK2.5 - You aren't the only one to be trolled!Poe wrote:[offtopic]I'm a hobbit and my height trolled me. I'm 159cm/ 5'3" and my shoe size is 38-39EU/8US/6UK[/offtopic]
a very quick response to this here now: i might point you to the music thread here http://indepthbants.com/topic15.htmlPoe wrote:I recently started searching some new music/bands to listen to because of this drought and I thought I'd ask you guys: What's your favorite band/artist?
Oh my, I'm sorry I didn't know there was already a thread for thisaralik wrote:a very quick response to this here now: i might point you to the music thread here http://indepthbants.com/topic15.htmlPoe wrote:I recently started searching some new music/bands to listen to because of this drought and I thought I'd ask you guys: What's your favorite band/artist?
at the same time to take the opportunity to promote a fellow youtuber troye sivan if you haven't listened to him before. good luck with finding new music!
Same offer applies then...!cora808 wrote:I feel ya. I'm 5'5" (165cm) and wear a 9.5US (7.5UK).Poe wrote: [offtopic]I'm a hobbit and my height trolled me. I'm 159cm/ 5'3" and my shoe size is 38-39EU/8US/6UK[/offtopic]
You wear a 2.5UK and you're 5'9''??? Do you fall over with a gust of wind?IckleMissMayhem wrote:Same offer applies then...!cora808 wrote:I feel ya. I'm 5'5" (165cm) and wear a 9.5US (7.5UK).Poe wrote: [offtopic]I'm a hobbit and my height trolled me. I'm 159cm/ 5'3" and my shoe size is 38-39EU/8US/6UK[/offtopic]
Pretty much(!) Though the real issue isn't with the length of my feet, it's the fact I have a stupidly high instep, so sometimes I can't even get my feet into size 4/5 shoes. I. HATE. SHOE. SHOPPING.cora808 wrote:You wear a 2.5UK and you're 5'9''??? Do you fall over with a gust of wind?IckleMissMayhem wrote:Same offer applies then...!cora808 wrote:I feel ya. I'm 5'5" (165cm) and wear a 9.5US (7.5UK).Poe wrote: [offtopic]I'm a hobbit and my height trolled me. I'm 159cm/ 5'3" and my shoe size is 38-39EU/8US/6UK[/offtopic]
I feel like I already grew a lot in the past few years as there were a quite few tragedies in my life. He also did, but in his own way. About the jealousy, I agree. I always said that when a guy is a bit jealous, it's a good thing. But a bit jealous (like when a guy approaches you and starts flirting and your other half gives him "the look" - it's usually directed at the one who approaches) and overly jealous ("Who's is he? Your cousin? I still don't want to see you hugging him!" - directed at me). We had conversations about it, he's trying, but you know... Sometimes I feel that it's not me he's not trusting, but himself. I don't know, the more I write, the more I see that it's a healthy relationship anymore.adequack wrote:
From my cranky over-the-hill armchair of soon-to-be 46-ness: From experience and observation you grow a lot in your early to mid 20s. And very often you grow at different speeds and in different directions from the people you were close to a few years previously. There's nothing wrong with that, everyone needs to do things at their own pace.
No need to rush things - I started dating my now-husband when he was 21 and I was 28 (I know, cradle-robber!). He grew a lot in the 5 or 6 years to 26/27, but luckily it was compatible with where I was and what I was doing. I got married at 36 and had a baby at 39.
(Also the jealousy thing - RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY NOW! - red flag so much. How can he want to marry you if he doesn't trust you - sounds like he's looking for someone to control and not an equal partner).
Jealousy aside, postponing the wedding is the best idea, and then you can work out if you want to go through with it. From what you've said, I wouldn't, but there's always a lot more to it than can be expressed in a few paragraphs, and obviously there are good things about him, otherwise you wouldn't be with him in the first place.
They really are!! I'd honestly rather suffer feeling like I'm en pointe all day in heels than have those satan shoes falling off my feet with literally every step I take.Lucet wrote:I hate it, especially with ballet pumps, it seems like it's made for barbie feet.
I literally have 3 pairs of shoes at work, because you just never know...IckleMissMayhem wrote:They really are!! I'd honestly rather suffer feeling like I'm en pointe all day in heels than have those satan shoes falling off my feet with literally every step I take.Lucet wrote:I hate it, especially with ballet pumps, it seems like it's made for barbie feet.
and I also realised how good the runners/sneakers are. I used to look at the women wearing office clothes and sports shoes as a bit cuckoo, well I was young and stupid... Now most of the time I'm just wearing those. Step aside Jimmy Choo's - Nike is my gig 
.I think a lot of it has to do with that. Of course the grass is always greener on the otherside, but in general people usually prefer tall heights (at least in men, and of course they're the only ones who mattertimtam wrote: Worst thing was it always came from people who were quite short. I'd never point out to someone who is short that they are really short. I guess that has something to do with being tall being more attractive than being short I don't know because I'm not sure that's true.
). People often flat out don't believe me when I say I'd rather date a guy under 5'6" (or that D&P's height is not actually a turn on, haha). I don't think I'd every make fun of anyone for being tall, though, but I have mentioned it when meeting people, mostly out of awe and neck strain.
Oh yes! Comments about height while being used as armrest are way too familiar for meangrymob wrote:I think a lot of it has to do with that. Of course the grass is always greener on the otherside, but in general people usually prefer tall heights (at least in men, and of course they're the only ones who mattertimtam wrote: Worst thing was it always came from people who were quite short. I'd never point out to someone who is short that they are really short. I guess that has something to do with being tall being more attractive than being short I don't know because I'm not sure that's true.
I could see a few short people pointing it out as a sort of revenge, since I know I've gotten so many comments from tall people about being short, often while also using me as an armrest.
Relevant video as it shows the pros and cons of being both tall and short.
Heels at work. Kind of a total non-starter for me. Wonder how long I'd last before either breaking something or pitching into the water...! (Both, probably, knowing me!)Lucet wrote:I literally have 3 pairs of shoes at work, because you just never know...IckleMissMayhem wrote:They really are!! I'd honestly rather suffer feeling like I'm en pointe all day in heels than have those satan shoes falling off my feet with literally every step I take.Lucet wrote:I hate it, especially with ballet pumps, it seems like it's made for barbie feet.
See, I like feeling like the smol one. Probably because I don't get to the rest of the time, also being sat on countertops beats stairs... eh? what? Don't mind me...!!PolarFox wrote:Like height difference in relationships looks pretty cute, but then the logistics of having a relationship with height difference is uh... Not so comfortable. Includes lots of crouching, stairs and awkward "face burried in the other one's chest" moments.
See, I'm always the smol one and it's nice feeling sometimes, but sometimes I'd like not to... And I was thinking more the execution of that relationship than the feelingsIckleMissMayhem wrote:See, I like feeling like the smol one. Probably because I don't get to the rest of the time, also being sat on countertops beats stairs... eh? what? Don't mind me...!!PolarFox wrote:Like height difference in relationships looks pretty cute, but then the logistics of having a relationship with height difference is uh... Not so comfortable. Includes lots of crouching, stairs and awkward "face burried in the other one's chest" moments.
Thanks, that's what I'm doing for sure.sweetmm wrote:Lucet I'm not going to give my opinion on what direction you should take; my only advise once you made a decision don't ever look back, no regrets and explore ahead.
how did you manage that level 
