Dan & Phil Part 66: Rainbow Nerds

[lurker]

I need to say that I find it annoying or something else on a level I don't even have words for that it takes (relatively) explicit references to sex including another person's dick to make people think 'oh so he was serious this whole time' - all the other things weren't enough? Including dudes in his Tinder vid and years of (relatively) less explicit mentions of dudes wasn't enough? He needs to say 'I love dick in my mouth' for people to maybe finally accept 'oh he likes dick' - I mean if spelling that out is him living his truth, GO DAN, but omg I'm already tired at everything.

thanks for that! you put it better than i could have, but yeah, as soon as i read the first comment about this on tumblr, i felt the weariness of 10000 lifetimes descending over me and crushing my mortal body.

for me the video was a #mood so to say. since it spoke to me i liked it, but i'm also enjoying more serious topics in general. i think dan has displayed a good instinct for the right tone and a balance between genuineness and humour especially in the depression vid, but in this one too.

i want more on that minimal plastic usage decision though, come on environmental howell

(chants) danisnotinteresting vlog! danisnotinteresting vlog!

[justanotherpeasant]

Hi
new member here
that was a very interesting video and with a very important message tbh but it's so sad how that's going to be passed by his reference on sucking dick.
But seriously i was shook he literally said ¨I'm gay¨ to an entire audience, not only fans but casual viewers too. On a more serious note, i was so sceptical abou Phan and with this i might have changed my mind and seriously i never thought this day would come. I never thought Dan was straight but that's different from Phan.
I wonder if there would be a more direct mention of this in the future, but anyway some people would still believe it was a joke or for the views so no matter what he says people are going to believe what they want

[somelikeitpink]

So I was sitting completely unknowingly at Shake Shack, eating a burger when that video came in. And I mean at first I thought the title and all was a joke...

.. and then my friend watched me have an actual legitimate meltdown at the restaurant. Including sort of a small scream and cry.

I’m... completely shocked. And I’m gonna be honest, this shocked more than if he had said “I’m gay.” Cause I mean by now that would have been a “duh”.
But him mentioning he enjoys sex... on what seems to be a very very regular basis, and specifically gay oral sex... man I can’t. That comment before about me hearing just “Phils penis” was way too real.
Idk why this shocks me more but I feel like that feels... like much more a look into his daily life? Like saying you are something is one thing. But giving a very specific example of something that is happening on a regular basis because of this...

My god. I’ve read so much smut in my phan life and yet I feel a bit like as if I just found out my parents have sex on a regular basis - I knew about it and yet it is shocking to hear.

Also: I now can’t get the image out of my head that if dan can’t shut up, phil finds another use for his mouth...

P.s. no 2: all theories I’ve ever read about phil being ace can die now - if his own comments weren’t enough.

[karma_yeah]

I really liked the video -- although more for the content than the "entertainment" value. It felt a little like a Dan live show with a little danisnotonfire thrown in. I thought that the sad clown face was very creative.

I do wish it had been longer. I enjoy philosophical Dan, and think he could have expanded on the "live your truth" theme.

And for someone who didn't explicitly say "I am gay" or "I am bi" or "I am . . .", I don't think he could have been much more explicit about his sexual preference (I say he's "Philsexual")

I love Dan (and Phil) and just want them to be happy together, and they do seem to be very happy.

[greenergrass]

On a second re-watch, I looked at the poster he made at 2:33, and noticed that he included 'narcissism' as one of his mental health problems. He's mentioned all the other ones, but I don't remember him really bringing up narcissism before. I don't know where I'm going with this, but just an observation that I noticed.

[karma_yeah]

Hi
new member here
that was a very interesting video and with a very important message tbh but it's so sad how that's going to be passed by his reference on sucking dick.
But seriously i was shook he literally said ¨I'm gay¨ to an entire audience, not only fans but casual viewers too. On a more serious note, i was so sceptical abou Phan and with this i might have changed my mind and seriously i never thought this day would come. I never thought Dan was straight but that's different from Phan.
I wonder if there would be a more direct mention of this in the future, but anyway some people would still believe it was a joke or for the views so no matter what he says people are going to believe what they want

First of all,

And when I read your post, I started picturing Phil helping to review/edit it, and started wondering what that conversation was like . . .

[captainspacecoat]

I liked the video! Didn't love it, and there were definitely things I felt he could have improved upon to make it a less vague and ultimately more cohesive video, but I thought it was pretty good overall. It kind of reminded me of a much better version of The Memeing of Life (which remains one of my most hated Dan vids lol), in that I felt it had a similar tone but made more sense and offered up a clear and achievable point - in his quest to achieve happiness, Dan has determined that authenticity and "living your truth" is essential, despite requiring effort and difficulty to achieve.

I think the video would have been stronger if he related the message more explicitly to his personal life (e.g. in what specific ways has Dan tried to be more authentic/how specifically was he not living his truth), but I understand why he may not have felt entirely comfortable with that, and I respect that in his own way he made allusions to it (his multiple references to sucking dick being a prime example, lmao).

So yeah, the video was overall a little vague and wishy-washy maybe, but I think he did a pretty good job of relating something philosophical that he has been thinking about lately to his audience in an understandable way, being fairly honest and open about his life (specifically, talking openly about being depressed/his mental health in general, as well as the oral sex mentions) and striking a more mature, adult tone. I hope he continues with this more open, adult version of himself, and I'm intrigued as to what he will convey in future videos (as in, whether he'll continue this theme of self-exploration, and whether mental health will continue to feature heavily on his channel. I hope it does!)

[SquishPhan]

To be honest, now that the initial shock (if you can even call it that) is over I have to say that I found the video pretty boring. Probably because it isn’t something I can relate to and I don’t feel like I learned anything or even really understood the point of it. IDK. It’s not a vid I’ll watch again.
But good on Dan if he felt like this is something he had to make.

[Lucyrg95]

I wonder if phil does a liveshow soon and plugs this vid what he’s going to say, probs nothing at all but it’s 2018 and I’m intrigued

[malday]

The most important thing i took away from this video was his "consciousness" telling him he was scared to live an authentic life, that admission felt realer and more revealing than anything else he said, imo. The rest, I feel he already touched upon in various liveshows last year, even the wondering about going back to uni.

I think it's smart the way he choose to present his own problems/insecurities while doing a sort of group therapy with his audience and give out encouragements, it humanizes him greatly and you can't help but empathize with him, good job!

[rizzo]

Honestly? Sign me up for Dan knocking down one anti-phan theory at a time.

Now that we know he enjoys regular sex, his next video will feature his relationship preferences: "Monogamy. I'm not a big one night stand or short fling guy. Give me that healthy af long-term relationship."

[AroboticPhil]

Tbh I also found this video a bit boring -or at least not as "shocking" & note worthy as I expected it to be when I saw the first reactions on tumblr. I found the fortnite video way more worthy of discussion and full of "omg what" moments.

I think it's really nice that Dan's being more open and sharing more of himself as a person but personally him talking about "deep" stuff/his self reflection talks have never really been my thing: I always find him way too vague for me to get anything out of it, like he just says a lot of sentences that sound thoughtful but to me don't have any deeper meaning or thoughts that I feel like I can apply to myself. Which I find weird because I relate to Dan a lot in general but when it comes to self improvement, self reflection etc I can think of many youtubers that I like less but whose videos about those subjects have resonated with me way more.
captainspacecoat I also really agree with your whole post!

That apart, I do find it heartwarming to see Dan grow so much. I really hope he continues to get to a place where he feels truly good in his life.
And seeing him do so much to find himself and happiness helps me feel like I also deserve to be happy being my own self.

The sex mention and dick sucking joke felt different to me because it kinda implied the idea of someone else.. being there lol which, with Phil liking the tweet too, is kinda new. Like the usual male attraction mentions and liking queer stuff on twitter doesn't necessarily imply he's not single but this kinda does.
I don't really like people calling this (or other things he/they have done so far) a coming out. Personally for many reasons I hate the idea that I need to come out to people and seeing deppy not Coming Out but being sorta out is so inspiring and needed

[alittledizzy]

This is a response to too many individual people for me to quote (though I'm really loving the reactions here, and might go back and reply to some individually later).

I definitely disagree with this being a "coming out" on grounds of not thinking that anyone should need one definitive coming out in order to be seen as not straight when they are obviously not straight. That said; yeah, to me, the highlight of this video was Dan's comfort and subsequent analysis of Dan's comfort because the rest of the video was just... meh. Boring. I am paraphrasing myself from tumblr, but this video was the equivalent of the kind of venting you do at three am when there's only one person around and you want to get things off your chest but you don't actually want them to know anything about you. We all knew Dan is someone who does a lot of self reflection, is perpetually unsatisfied with where he is in life, and has no idea what he wants out of his future. A lot of us are also pretty comfortable and confident in knowing Dan is not straight and in a committed relationship with Phil, presumably having committed relationship people sex.

The only new piece of information in this video to me is that Dan Howell right now in 2018 is a person who wants to be able to say those things to us and to his casual audience in a main channel video. So to me, that's what's most interesting to see people talk about and react to.

[somelikeitpink]

Honestly? Sign me up for Dan knocking down one anti-phan theory at a time.

Now that we know he enjoys regular sex, his next video will feature his relationship preferences: "Monogamy. I'm not a big one night stand or short fling guy. Give me that healthy af long-term relationship."

“You know I always thought that the best thing in a long term relationship is to live together.”

[dontpanic]

did I take a fucking hallucinogenic or did Dan make a joke about sucking dick

Didn't he make two jokes about sucking dick?

The excitment of that and the titillation of whether he'd reveal it was Phil's dick were real --but I was left wanting to hear more about what small steps he was taking to live his truth.

(But I love Dan anyway. )

I totally read the bolded line as "reveal that Phil's dick were real" and I was like so confused because I didn't known Phil's Willy was the subject of a phandom conspiracy theory


I haven't seen the vid yet but I'm now super excited because it so rare for a dinof vid to get such positive reviews

[expiredfrappuccino]

i know it wasnt his intentions but this video made me feel really depressed for some reason, i've spent the last hour re-thinking life choices fml
im not that bothered by the sex comments or what dans sexuality is, and im not anti phan or whatever but i have a feeling he was just teasing us? but maybe not who knows
i also really hope he doesnt go a month and a half without uploading again but overall i did enjoy his ted talk even though i was slightly confused

btw hi im new

[Birdie]

Okay, I calmed down, I rewatched... I really liked the video. As someone who has been struggling with depressive episodes since my early teenage years, a lot of it was just relatable. I don't know, the subject was pretty dark but he somehow managed to make the video quite entertaining anyways and I loved that. But anyways, I actually did go "shit that's me" at some parts because I have massive problems coming clean about my mental health problems and sexuality irl. Sadly, Dan telling me to change that won't magically make me brave enough to actually do it but I feel called out in a good way and the video reminded me of how I need to work on these problems.

(About the asexual mention, because someone criticised it a bit: I think what he meant was that the fictional fish farmer should come out as asexual, not choose to be asexual or anything. Pretty sure Dan knows asexuality is not something you choose just like other sexualities.)

[jaej]

Honestly? Sign me up for Dan knocking down one anti-phan theory at a time.

Now that we know he enjoys regular sex, his next video will feature his relationship preferences: "Monogamy. I'm not a big one night stand or short fling guy. Give me that healthy af long-term relationship."

“You know I always thought that the best thing in a long term relationship is to live together.”

did people really get longterm relationship vibes from this? to me it felt sooo strongly of things queer men who've previously been reserved say when they start to realise they can and want to have sex with multiple people despite even progressive people only really being fully approving of sex between two men when it's part of one monogamous, romantic, committed relationship. admittedly i can't see anything at all sexual between d+p anymore so obviously i didn't see it as being about phil, but nothing about it to me felt relationship based at all?

[greenergrass]

i know it wasnt his intentions but this video made me feel really depressed for some reason, i've spent the last hour re-thinking life choices fml
im not that bothered by the sex comments or what dans sexuality is, and im not anti phan or whatever but i have a feeling he was just teasing us? but maybe not who knows
i also really hope he doesnt go a month and a half without uploading again but overall i did enjoy his ted talk even though i was slightly confused

btw hi im new

Welcome!

I really don't think he was just teasing us. He's made it very clear over the last couple of years that he is not straight. Plus, the whole video was about trying to be more authentic and 'live his truth', so it would be weird to straight up lie about something about himself in the video. I'm slightly confused by what you mean by he was 'teasing' us? Like, do you think he is straight and just trying to troll people? Or that he isn't straight, but was just having fun messing with people anyway?

I'm not trying to attack you or anything, I'm just genuinely confused by what you mean and what gave you that impression.

[somelikeitpink]

did people really get longterm relationship vibes from this? to me it felt sooo strongly of things queer men who've previously been reserved say when they start to realise they can and want to have sex with multiple people despite even progressive people only really being fully approving of sex between two men when it's part of one monogamous, romantic, committed relationship. admittedly i can't see anything at all sexual between d+p anymore so obviously i didn't see it as being about phil, but nothing about it to me felt relationship based at all?

Well for me it was the context of a. Who dan is and b. how it was said.

If he had just said “he enjoys sex and having something in his mouth” I’d have said - sure he just likes oral sex.
But saying it in the same breath as laughter and food just made it more into a package for me. Like... randomly going out and sucking off a one night stand will most likely not give you all three. Not that that has to be from the same person but for me it came across as a package deal.

And besides that - we know dan doesn’t go out much. In fact he lately made even more of a point of saying that. So if it wasn’t phil - how should he meet those people/experience that?

On a personal note: I said a similar thing when talking about sex while I had a gf and it was very much met in a monogamous way.

But then I’m not sure how to not see anything sexual between them, especially lately.

[smartcookie]

That sure was something alright. And I must say in my opinion all videos across all channels this year have been something in one way or another, they’ve been good. (Except memes, that was boring) I know some people were a bit not over the moon with phil’s latest(?) but I’ve honest to God found all videos this year to be both massively entertaining and definitely more than enough to sedate the gawping hole where ‘at leat kinda regular uploads’ used to be. So my take on it is that if this is the quality we get for waiting a bit longer between uploads then I’m not complaining.

Onto the video itself; apologies if someone have already posted more eloquently and in depth on any of my takes, I’m roughly two pages behind.
It, to me, read as being very self-reflective and open in a sense that I feel must be very cathartic for him. Someone said how it almost felt more for himself than for the audience and I 100% agree with that. It almost feels a bit like a open diary of sorts, maybe there’s where I’m getting the sense of cathartic-ness from. I’m not one for hyperbole (massive lie) but this in some subtle sense felt almost ground breaking. Can’t pin point why, maybe it is the format, his way of addressing, for lack of better wording, his audience, maybe it is the at times almost uncomfortable aggressiveness of sexual mentions and so explicitly male at that.
I liked the format. Liked the video. Want more in this ‘just sitting down for some pretty deep introspective chat’ style. Want him to continue to feel comfortable sharing these a bit more personal videos. Felt melancholy but maybe not in a bad way but more in a ‘I’m sad and depressed NOW but this along with other things is just a step closer to happiness’, which is now that I think about it the bottom line of the whole video. Found it actually inspiring which sounds really stupid, but the guy got some points. Onward and forward towards happiness, friends!
The dick sucking mention didn’t strike me as particularly phan nor relashionship-y, but if you, like I, belive them to be together I can too quite easily put two and two together. But good for him for getting all that sweet dick-suckage, releases endorphins and whatnot, makes ya happy, so keep it up boy. (Even though it is a bit tmi)

Feel a weird sense of pride. Maybe I, as an avid not-rewatcher will even warrant it a rewatch.

[victorycafe]

Wow, really never thought I'd get a bit teary watching a guy on the internet say "I'm gonna go laugh at a joke with a chocolate bar and something else in my mouth. Bye"

But really that staring down the camera look when he says the "something else in my mouth" bit - he gets the gravity of him saying that 100% and meant for it to be that way. So proud of our boy.

[mm_sunny1993]

I don't see any ads on this video. Again. Well let's see how long it will take to get it monetized again. Almost 500.000 views and no money made
(If it is just me and it does have ads, I'm sorry ignore it)

But besides that, I liked this video. Kind of. Everything already was said here but i felt like it was kinda boring but that is because it is a quite heavy topic. Sure he was really vague but it was still an interesting topic and made me think about a lot. So it was definitely worth watching because it was insightful even if it wasn't really entertaining. I will definitely rewatch it again when i need to contemplate my life^^ oh well.
It left me shocked, surprised and made me think. So i liked it.

[parallel]

I need to say that I find it annoying or something else on a level I don't even have words for that it takes (relatively) explicit references to sex including another person's dick to make people think 'oh so he was serious this whole time' - all the other things weren't enough? Including dudes in his Tinder vid and years of (relatively) less explicit mentions of dudes wasn't enough? He needs to say 'I love dick in my mouth' for people to maybe finally accept 'oh he likes dick' - I mean if spelling that out is him living his truth, GO DAN, but omg I'm already tired at everything.

(Also I deadass thought "Is this the moment? Is Dan ready to officially come out of the closet?" when I saw the title and then he started talking about Sex in present tense and despite my initial reaction to the title i did NOT expect that.)

I mean. what is this. Maybe living his truth is just continuing to reject people shoving him in a fucking closet against his will even now after all these years with some firmer language. Whatever, bye.

This, so much. I know most of us weren't surprised that he sucks dick but rather that he felt like mentioning it, but if this really counts as needed confirmation then I don't know where you've been the past... 4 years? And viewing a sexual mention as a milestone for ~coming out~ or however you wanna put it is... allonormative among other things. A relationship doesn't have to be sexual to be romantic, and a guy can be gay without having sex with men.

Honestly? Sign me up for Dan knocking down one anti-phan theory at a time.

Now that we know he enjoys regular sex, his next video will feature his relationship preferences: "Monogamy. I'm not a big one night stand or short fling guy. Give me that healthy af long-term relationship."

I can actually see that happening omg

mark my words we're gonna get official confirmation of phan by the end of this year

but of course they can come out whenever theyre ready i aint gonna force it

This is a really strong hint though. Like Dan in the ls last week "I honestly never leave this house. It's not even a joke; I just am here all the time" Dan in this video, "The present things that make me happy is having sex" and then he ended with "I'm going to have chocolate and something else in my mouth" I'm paraphrasing but this is basically what he's said so unless another person is living with them then I think we can assume the person he's having regular sex with is Phil.

I never thought about that. You're right, if he's not leaving the house then whose dick he gonna suck other than the guy living in his house lol.

---

As for the likelihood of them "officially" coming out (whatever that means, because depending on how you look at it, they kind of already have. Let's assume that coming out = explicitly saying "I'm not straight/I'm in a relationship with Dan/Phil"), the first thought that went into my head when I saw the title was coming out and I think that was Dan's intention. As I watched, I was sceptical at first, but soon I deadass thought he was just gonna say he's dating Phil (or that they got married at some point lol). I think they might "officially come out" in 2018; it's definitely a tangible possibility, but I also feel like Dan and Phil are at different places with this stuff. Dan's very... um, open, more so than even some "out" queer people, while Phil doesn't hold back saying things but I don't think he goes out of his way to say things either. Dan very clearly decides to put some things in videos that imply he's non-straight, and in this video even to imply he's sucking off his roommate (well, not roommate... whatever, you know what I mean lol). So maybe individual comings out could be a thing. If they were to come out as a couple, I highly doubt it would be in the form of a solo dinof vid like this one. I also don't think it'd be a big thing with a whole dedicated video about it because I don't think they view their relationship as serious enough to warrant its own video in that way.

Also, the concept of coming out is pretty fucking heteronormative imo. What's to say they're straight? When have they ever claimed to be straight? Exactly, they haven't. So why are we assuming they're straight just because they haven't gone out of their way to say "by the way, I'm a flaming homo"? (well, again, depending on how you look at it, they might as well have said that lol) I've only "properly" "come out" with my sexuality once in my life, but I don't consider myself closeted at all. Everyone knows I'm about as straight as a circle, because I can casually mention it—because it's normal—and people will get the message. I've only taken someone aside and gone "okay, I need to tell you something" once, and that was when I was coming out as trans to my dad and I thought "dang, might as well get this out of the way while I'm at it".

By the way, I interpreted the first dick-sucking mention as he could just be sleeping with any person who has a dick. Nothing about it particularly screams monogamy, and my instinctive association was sleeping around tbh. Also, just because Dan and Phil are in a committed relationship, doesn't mean they have to be monogamous or Dan can't be sleeping around (talking about an open relationship, not cheating... let's hope Dan doesn't do the latter), for that matter. The mention of how he was going to go and "put something in his mouth" now, though, does sound like a committed relationship, because that implies there's someone right there ready to, er, help him out with his oral fixation.

[pastelspectre]

Well that video was a wild ride. From the sex jokes to the.. odd inspiring message. It has inspired me to try and be more authentic and true to myself though.