Dan & Phil Part 66: Rainbow Nerds

Our two favourite full time internet nerds who never go outside!
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liola
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daichii wrote: Sun Mar 04, 2018 9:02 pm It was very generic advise but as long as it works for some people it's all right.

For me dan is def not straight, I wouldn't put a label on him since he clearly doesn't want one but he for sure made a point on highlighting how much he enjoys sex with men. What threw me off was that I got the impression he is having casual sex (and that doesn't fit in on the phan relationship) but as everything with these guys I'm not 100% sure due to their ambiguous wording. Perhaps he chose to say sex instead of romance to make the bj jokes... who knows. I wish Phil makes a liveshow before this vid is old news *sighs*
I'm curious to know what gave you the impression that he meant casual sex? I'm not trying to be shady or anything, I genuinely am interested to know because nothing Dan has ever said or implied has ever felt like he's one to enjoy casual sex or hookups? He's kept the part relating relationship completely closed off for years, he only ever talked about his ex very briefly in the past and then never mentioned anything about his relationships, he never even implied being single if we think about it. What I know is that he's talked about commitment being scary like something he's experienced first hand, how he made a tinder spon without ever mentioning needing to use it and things like that so I just...I really can't see anything but them being together, no matter how hard I try. The bigger picture is just too big :mrgreen: so I'd just like to understand what gave you and others this impression!
Will probably never be over the BONCAS and the beauty of Phil Lester.

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willowgarden
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So I'm still stunned a little bit happy for Dan's latest video. As someone who has long touted that "we're never gonna know," due to circumstances, this seems to be a rather revealing effort on Dan's part. More thoughts under the cut for those who are interested.
First, I am happy to see that Dan and Phil have healed enough from the invasion of privacy they suffered early in their relationship, as it might have been called at the time. You know what I'm talking about.

My thoughts on that time period (2012) were that Dan was actually suffering. Phil was probably suffering. I don't use that verb lightly. Imagine you had a partner, who might not be out to his own family (every family is not from the womb accepting of different paths for their children), whose love letter to you was broadcast to you on the internet. Not only broadcast, but your fans made PDFs of its transcript, described every event, speculated about every moment, and then hounded you relentlessly for months about backtracks, coverups, efforts to suppress, and even "....I don't want this on the internet" copyright blocks from the creator himself.

Imagine if it happened to you. Would you spiral into a deeper depression? Would you stop doing videos in a style from earlier in your career, that everyone just loves, in favor of "safe" topics like spons and weird things I believed as a kid and sleepless nights? Would you procrastinate forever? Would you film DITL that made sure to show separate bedrooms, because, god knows, your grandma or grandpa heard vicious rumors and you're not out to them?

You and your partner would take a long time to heal from that sort of terrible betrayal, a glitch, an accident which destroyed so much. Whenever someone says or writes, I wonder why Phil isn't as forthcoming about sex or his sexuality or his "child-like persona", I always think,Jesus God do we really need to wonder why?! We caused it. We're the ones who hounded them. We're lucky Phil is still here. With this video, Dan's finally at a point where he, and presumably Phil, are comfortable enough to come back around, albeit only slightly. Phil's stamp of approval is not only in a liked tweet, but who the fuck do you think filmed the sad yoghurt sequence or knocked the x-box controller out of Dan's hands? Dan and Phil did this together. I wouldn't be surprised if we never hear a peep from Phil Lester's lips about his own sexuality. We've robbed him enough of his authenticity, by our own shameful behavior in insisting that we replay, repost, and reblog his most intimate thoughts for our own selfish amusement. But he explicitly helped Dan on his video about what makes him happy. And if we, an audience who spouts our idea that we so want them to be happy, can only ever see Phil's stamp of approval on Dan's loosened shield around his sexual life, then that's enough. That should be enough. (Probably won't be, you little shits.)

So when I see fanart of 2012 Dan versus 2018 Dan, God, it makes me shudder. That boy, that child, was doing the best he could. It's not his fault (or Phil's fault) that simultaneously liking cunnilingus and fellatio is actually a thing that we can't seem to wrap our heads around. It's not our fault that long-term relationships with a partner of the same biological sex doesn't make you gay or homosexual, if you're bi or pan, but few people in the fanbase understand that idea. Phil was probably so saddened or mortified by the events that Dan was clutching anything he could to explain. Dan was 21 and Phil was 25 in 2012. They were young and doing anything they could to make themselves better, after a flagrant invasion of privacy. Now he's finally come back round, after a long period of the most dramatically veiled discussion about sexuality and all we can see, in this revelation of an "ending of a cycle of events," is ha ha! Dan sucks dicks. Yeah, I always knew.

So, 2012 to 2018.
Don't ever wonder why they hide themselves. The answer is staring at you in the mirror.
I don’t know anybody or anything. Please don’t ever talk to me again. Tell everybody to stop talking to me. ~ Kurt Vonnegut
smartcookie
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ratlad wrote: Sun Mar 04, 2018 9:25 pm I'm really hoping for some domestic pictures tonight like we got last year, and i have high expectations this time. gimme something cute and wholesome to fill my gay heart pls
:deppy: :prideheart2: :valentine:
I am confusion. What pictures from last year? But because I, too, always hope for domestic pictures, I’m now full of hope, for what I don’t know. (This is just a very roundabout way of me wondering what exactly you are referring to, please educate me)
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realeyesrealize
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smartcookie wrote: Sun Mar 04, 2018 9:32 pm
ratlad wrote: Sun Mar 04, 2018 9:25 pm I'm really hoping for some domestic pictures tonight like we got last year, and i have high expectations this time. gimme something cute and wholesome to fill my gay heart pls
:deppy: :prideheart2: :valentine:
I am confusion. What pictures from last year? But because I, too, always hope for domestic pictures, I’m now full of hope, for what I don’t know. (This is just a very roundabout way of me wondering what exactly you are referring to, please educate me)
I'm guessing ratlad was talking about this photo and I wholeheartedly agree. Please deppy, feed us.
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daichii
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liola wrote: Sun Mar 04, 2018 9:28 pm
daichii wrote: Sun Mar 04, 2018 9:02 pm It was very generic advise but as long as it works for some people it's all right.

For me dan is def not straight, I wouldn't put a label on him since he clearly doesn't want one but he for sure made a point on highlighting how much he enjoys sex with men. What threw me off was that I got the impression he is having casual sex (and that doesn't fit in on the phan relationship) but as everything with these guys I'm not 100% sure due to their ambiguous wording. Perhaps he chose to say sex instead of romance to make the bj jokes... who knows. I wish Phil makes a liveshow before this vid is old news *sighs*
I'm curious to know what gave you the impression that he meant casual sex? I'm not trying to be shady or anything, I genuinely am interested to know because nothing Dan has ever said or implied has ever felt like he's one to enjoy casual sex or hookups? He's kept the part relating relationship completely closed off for years, he only ever talked about his ex very briefly in the past and then never mentioned anything about his relationships, he never even implied being single if we think about it. What I know is that he's talked about commitment being scary like something he's experienced first hand, how he made a tinder spon without ever mentioning needing to use it and things like that so I just...I really can't see anything but them being together, no matter how hard I try. The bigger picture is just too big :mrgreen: so I'd just like to understand what gave you and others this impression!
for me ot was the lack of "romance" when mentioning things that are making him happy right now... just saying "I enjoy sex" can mean he either is having it with a bf (and I agree that it couldn't be anyone other than phil) or casual hook ups. I know how people keep saying he wouldn't be able to hide something casual like that but as far as I know nobody knows their address nor is people actively stalking outside their apartment like in manchester for it to not be possible

Also it doesn't feel quite right for me to think this is a confirmation that they are together without having phil's input or something less ambiguous from either of them
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willowgarden wrote: Sun Mar 04, 2018 9:28 pm So I'm still stunned a little bit happy for Dan's latest video. As someone who has long touted that "we're never gonna know," due to circumstances, this seems to be a rather revealing effort on Dan's part. More thoughts under the cut for those who are interested.
First, I am happy to see that Dan and Phil have healed enough from the invasion of privacy they suffered early in their relationship, as it might have been called at the time. You know what I'm talking about.

My thoughts on that time period (2012) were that Dan was actually suffering. Phil was probably suffering. I don't use that verb lightly. Imagine you had a partner, who might not be out to his own family (every family is not from the womb accepting of different paths for their children), whose love letter to you was broadcast to you on the internet. Not only broadcast, but your fans made PDFs of its transcript, described every event, speculated about every moment, and then hounded you relentlessly for months about backtracks, coverups, efforts to suppress, and even "....I don't want this on the internet" copyright blocks from the creator himself.

Imagine if it happened to you. Would you spiral into a deeper depression? Would you stop doing videos in a style from earlier in your career, that everyone just loves, in favor of "safe" topics like spons and weird things I believed as a kid and sleepless nights? Would you procrastinate forever? Would you film DITL that made sure to show separate bedrooms, because, god knows, your grandma or grandpa heard vicious rumors and you're not out to them?

You and your partner would take a long time to heal from that sort of terrible betrayal, a glitch, an accident which destroyed so much. Whenever someone says or writes, I wonder why Phil isn't as forthcoming about sex or his sexuality or his "child-like persona", I always think,Jesus God do we really need to wonder why?! We caused it. We're the ones who hounded them. We're lucky Phil is still here. With this video, Dan's finally at a point where he, and presumably Phil, are comfortable enough to come back around, albeit only slightly. Phil's stamp of approval is not only in a liked tweet, but who the fuck do you think filmed the sad yoghurt sequence or knocked the x-box controller out of Dan's hands? Dan and Phil did this together. I wouldn't be surprised if we never hear a peep from Phil Lester's lips about his own sexuality. We've robbed him enough of his authenticity, by our own shameful behavior in insisting that we replay, repost, and reblog his most intimate thoughts for our own selfish amusement. But he explicitly helped Dan on his video about what makes him happy. And if we, an audience who spouts our idea that we so want them to be happy, can only ever see Phil's stamp of approval on Dan's loosened shield around his sexual life, then that's enough. That should be enough. (Probably won't be, you little shits.)

So when I see fanart of 2012 Dan versus 2018 Dan, God, it makes me shudder. That boy, that child, was doing the best he could. It's not his fault (or Phil's fault) that simultaneously liking cunnilingus and fellatio is actually a thing that we can't seem to wrap our heads around. It's not our fault that long-term relationships with a partner of the same biological sex doesn't make you gay or homosexual, if you're bi or pan, but few people in the fanbase understand that idea. Phil was probably so saddened or mortified by the events that Dan was clutching anything he could to explain. Dan was 21 and Phil was 25 in 2012. They were young and doing anything they could to make themselves better, after a flagrant invasion of privacy. Now he's finally come back round, after a long period of the most dramatically veiled discussion about sexuality and all we can see, in this revelation of an "ending of a cycle of events," is ha ha! Dan sucks dicks. Yeah, I always knew.

So, 2012 to 2018.
Don't ever wonder why they hide themselves. The answer is staring at you in the mirror.
I’m not even sorry for (now almost) double posting, this is honest to god one of the best posts I’ve read in a long long time. Could I like a post I would with yours, tenfold.
I wasn’t around at the time and have since tried to think as little as possible of it but this really puts things in context and perspective. I understand that it is only a plausible assumption but it to me gives that whole thing a much better context. Because another part of our problem is how we can’t but only see it from our side and this gives further depth.
I applause you. Amazing and thought provoking read

And thank you realeyesrealize for clearing that up, I wasn’t even aware the Oscars were today lol, I’m awfully out off the loop
everything sucks forever
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Birdie
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Eh, I’m kinda salty that to so many people an admission of having sex with men weighs more than years of mentioning being attracted to men. You’re not more queer for having sex or less queer for not having any, so why do we have to place so much weight on that? Yeah, it’s great Dan feels comfortable to be this open, of course it is. But he wasn’t just “bi curious” before this admission and I really need y’all to drop that term from your vocabularies asap. And tbh, if you read someone who displays same gender attraction but doesn’t mention sex as “bi curious” instead of, you know, bi or gay, maybe think about why that is… If you’re bi/gay, you’re always bi/gay, whether you’re in a relationship, having sex or if you’re a virgin, it’s not that hard… Was he more open about his sexual life in this video? Yeah. Did he tell us something about himself we didn’t already know? No, not really.

Also I agree with fancybum’s posts once again, thanks for typing out what I felt as well.
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Ohh, the futon thingy, that’ll be it. Wow this is short.
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jaej
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Katka wrote: Sun Mar 04, 2018 9:47 pm Eh, I’m kinda salty that to so many people an admission of having sex with men weighs more than years of mentioning being attracted to men. You’re not more queer for having sex or less queer for not having any, so why do we have to place so much weight on that? Yeah, it’s great Dan feels comfortable to be this open, of course it is. But he wasn’t just “bi curious” before this admission and I really need y’all to drop that term from your vocabularies asap. And tbh, if you read someone who displays same gender attraction but doesn’t mention sex as “bi curious” instead of, you know, bi or gay, maybe think about why that is… If you’re bi/gay, you’re always bi/gay, whether you’re in a relationship, having sex or if you’re a virgin, it’s not that hard… Was he more open about his sexual life in this video? Yeah. Did he tell us something about himself we didn’t already know? No, not really.

Also I agree with fancybum’s posts once again, thanks for typing out what I felt as well.
i think being open to an audience about acting on attraction is different from expressing the attraction itself so reacting to it differently makes sense but also that like... whether or not you act on attraction doesn't change whether or not it's experienced. you can be attracted to a certain gender and never act on it in any way, either through choice or just circumstance, and still be completely attracted to them. he's more than just implied same gender attraction already so i don't see this as more "proof", just "proof" of a slightly different thing
my name is jaejmine masters and i have something to say. dan and phil have fucked up japan :japhan:
phil lester threw the first brick at stonewall, we love a queer icon :biflag:
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Birdie
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jaej wrote: Sun Mar 04, 2018 9:59 pm
Katka wrote: Sun Mar 04, 2018 9:47 pm Eh, I’m kinda salty that to so many people an admission of having sex with men weighs more than years of mentioning being attracted to men. You’re not more queer for having sex or less queer for not having any, so why do we have to place so much weight on that? Yeah, it’s great Dan feels comfortable to be this open, of course it is. But he wasn’t just “bi curious” before this admission and I really need y’all to drop that term from your vocabularies asap. And tbh, if you read someone who displays same gender attraction but doesn’t mention sex as “bi curious” instead of, you know, bi or gay, maybe think about why that is… If you’re bi/gay, you’re always bi/gay, whether you’re in a relationship, having sex or if you’re a virgin, it’s not that hard… Was he more open about his sexual life in this video? Yeah. Did he tell us something about himself we didn’t already know? No, not really.

Also I agree with fancybum’s posts once again, thanks for typing out what I felt as well.
i think being open to an audience about acting on attraction is different from expressing the attraction itself so reacting to it differently makes sense but also that like... whether or not you act on attraction doesn't change whether or not it's experienced. you can be attracted to a certain gender and never act on it in any way, either through choice or just circumstance, and still be completely attracted to them. he's more than just implied same gender attraction already so i don't see this as more "proof", just "proof" of a slightly different thing
Yeah, that's what I meant. I'm kinda surprised so many people came forward saying they now believe he's queer, like all the times he's mentioned experiencing same gender attraction before didn't mean anything.

Edit: Just now read willowgarden's post. Spot on! :stan:
Last edited by Birdie on Sun Mar 04, 2018 10:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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flarequake
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Good points, willowgarden and Katka (I posted my tiny previous post before realising I’d missed reading this page :roll: )
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whelpkeeper
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willowgarden wrote: Sun Mar 04, 2018 9:28 pm So I'm still stunned a little bit happy for Dan's latest video. As someone who has long touted that "we're never gonna know," due to circumstances, this seems to be a rather revealing effort on Dan's part. More thoughts under the cut for those who are interested.
First, I am happy to see that Dan and Phil have healed enough from the invasion of privacy they suffered early in their relationship, as it might have been called at the time. You know what I'm talking about.

My thoughts on that time period (2012) were that Dan was actually suffering. Phil was probably suffering. I don't use that verb lightly. Imagine you had a partner, who might not be out to his own family (every family is not from the womb accepting of different paths for their children), whose love letter to you was broadcast to you on the internet. Not only broadcast, but your fans made PDFs of its transcript, described every event, speculated about every moment, and then hounded you relentlessly for months about backtracks, coverups, efforts to suppress, and even "....I don't want this on the internet" copyright blocks from the creator himself.

Imagine if it happened to you. Would you spiral into a deeper depression? Would you stop doing videos in a style from earlier in your career, that everyone just loves, in favor of "safe" topics like spons and weird things I believed as a kid and sleepless nights? Would you procrastinate forever? Would you film DITL that made sure to show separate bedrooms, because, god knows, your grandma or grandpa heard vicious rumors and you're not out to them?

You and your partner would take a long time to heal from that sort of terrible betrayal, a glitch, an accident which destroyed so much. Whenever someone says or writes, I wonder why Phil isn't as forthcoming about sex or his sexuality or his "child-like persona", I always think,Jesus God do we really need to wonder why?! We caused it. We're the ones who hounded them. We're lucky Phil is still here. With this video, Dan's finally at a point where he, and presumably Phil, are comfortable enough to come back around, albeit only slightly. Phil's stamp of approval is not only in a liked tweet, but who the fuck do you think filmed the sad yoghurt sequence or knocked the x-box controller out of Dan's hands? Dan and Phil did this together. I wouldn't be surprised if we never hear a peep from Phil Lester's lips about his own sexuality. We've robbed him enough of his authenticity, by our own shameful behavior in insisting that we replay, repost, and reblog his most intimate thoughts for our own selfish amusement. But he explicitly helped Dan on his video about what makes him happy. And if we, an audience who spouts our idea that we so want them to be happy, can only ever see Phil's stamp of approval on Dan's loosened shield around his sexual life, then that's enough. That should be enough. (Probably won't be, you little shits.)

So when I see fanart of 2012 Dan versus 2018 Dan, God, it makes me shudder. That boy, that child, was doing the best he could. It's not his fault (or Phil's fault) that simultaneously liking cunnilingus and fellatio is actually a thing that we can't seem to wrap our heads around. It's not our fault that long-term relationships with a partner of the same biological sex doesn't make you gay or homosexual, if you're bi or pan, but few people in the fanbase understand that idea. Phil was probably so saddened or mortified by the events that Dan was clutching anything he could to explain. Dan was 21 and Phil was 25 in 2012. They were young and doing anything they could to make themselves better, after a flagrant invasion of privacy. Now he's finally come back round, after a long period of the most dramatically veiled discussion about sexuality and all we can see, in this revelation of an "ending of a cycle of events," is ha ha! Dan sucks dicks. Yeah, I always knew.

So, 2012 to 2018.
Don't ever wonder why they hide themselves. The answer is staring at you in the mirror.
This was super insightful, thanks so much for posting this! (whoever said we needed a "like" button was right.) I agree with literally all of this. I feel like being able to portray themselves authentically, in spite of others projecting their own perceptions onto them is one of the biggest hurdles DnP have- hopefully this year they grow even more comfortable with sharing not just their sexuality, but the arcane aspects of themselves they felt they had to hide.

I feel like I don't want to force a label onto either of them, but Dan at least has made it very clear he's not straight, and denying how they repeatedly portray themselves is unfair. I'm guilty of this- I never wanted to project my own feelings onto him, but in doing so I was ignoring what he clearly is trying to convey. I definitely didn't think he was 100% straight™, but I didn't want to "read into" everything he said because I thought it'd be disrespectful to label someone who expressed dislike of labels in the past. I'm trying to grow as a person, so I'll admit that I need to take Dan's hints and signs about his sexuality at face value, and not wait for something explicit so that it feels "legitimate " or like I'm not just trying to convince myself of something he never specifically said.

That said, I agree with jaej above- there's a difference between implying the possibility of being open to relations with the opposite sex, and straight up stating such relations have occurred and are currently occurring. That's the thing that really surprised me with this video- the concrete statement that he has sex on the reg with male genitalia. (okay, innate rambling over)

...completely unrelated, but Dan's pinned comment is something I'd like to save for posterity:

Image
The air soft as that of Seville in April,
Image
and so fragrant that it was delicious to breathe it.
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ratlad
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liola wrote: Sun Mar 04, 2018 9:28 pm
daichii wrote: Sun Mar 04, 2018 9:02 pm It was very generic advise but as long as it works for some people it's all right.

For me dan is def not straight, I wouldn't put a label on him since he clearly doesn't want one but he for sure made a point on highlighting how much he enjoys sex with men. What threw me off was that I got the impression he is having casual sex (and that doesn't fit in on the phan relationship) but as everything with these guys I'm not 100% sure due to their ambiguous wording. Perhaps he chose to say sex instead of romance to make the bj jokes... who knows. I wish Phil makes a liveshow before this vid is old news *sighs*
I'm curious to know what gave you the impression that he meant casual sex? I'm not trying to be shady or anything, I genuinely am interested to know because nothing Dan has ever said or implied has ever felt like he's one to enjoy casual sex or hookups? He's kept the part relating relationship completely closed off for years, he only ever talked about his ex very briefly in the past and then never mentioned anything about his relationships, he never even implied being single if we think about it. What I know is that he's talked about commitment being scary like something he's experienced first hand, how he made a tinder spon without ever mentioning needing to use it and things like that so I just...I really can't see anything but them being together, no matter how hard I try. The bigger picture is just too big :mrgreen: so I'd just like to understand what gave you and others this impression!
he has also talked about the feeling of being in love in a live show and seemed like he was coming from a place of experience and bliss. i just..... put 2 and 2 together! also consider the slip ups or the super sleuthing phannies havedone that could possibly counted as a confirmation that they're in a relationship.
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no way, this forum is literally psychic sometimes :shock:
The air soft as that of Seville in April,
Image
and so fragrant that it was delicious to breathe it.
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Hi flarequake, hi everyone.👋 . 👍to everything willowgarden said , it really was horrible that their privacy was invaded. I have to say I saw the video. I was such a casual viewer just wanting to know more about them and now I’m surprised at how easy it was to find at the time .. I didn’t even know that it was copyrighted and was actively being taken down if found I just thought oh it’s out there they didn’t deny it but maybe they had wished to not share. That’s how little I knew about them. Everyone has their opinions on what d&p do thinking that they bait and encourage discussion on their relationship for views but to me it had Always looked like they were trying to live their lives privately as they have a right to without having to confirm anything.. I always think of an interview they did (can’t remember which) in which they mentioned not wanting to bring up relationships with their audience lest the audience becomes too invested and I’ve honestly thought that is what they have been trying to do. It’s just unfortunate that others only seem to pay attention to one aspect of them and accuse them of being dishonest when they in my opinion are just trying to protect themselves
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whelpkeeper wrote: Sun Mar 04, 2018 10:33 pm no way, this forum is literally psychic sometimes :shock:
hehehe
im waiting patiently
:daddy: :laptoprat: me irl
amelieschtz
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guys does anyone know how i upload a photo off my phone to here? got something 'important‘ to ask about it
amelieschtz
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nvm here it is [redacted]
do you guys think this is d&p? they‘re the ones that came to my mind when i saw this pic and it was uploaded by someone very close to one of them, or at least i‘m pretty sure it‘s not a fake profile
Last edited by alittledizzy on Sun Mar 04, 2018 10:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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obsessivelymoody
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It's taken me a little bit to process the video and accurately articulate my thoughts on it, but I agree with the general consensus that the video itself didn't offer any spectacular new information from Dan, and before I rewatched it a few times my only take away was that Dan likes sucking dick lol. To me, the shock factor behind that was less that he likes doing it and more that he said that in a main channel video. I've been in the phandom for 4 years, and it's been so interesting to see how much deps have grown over the years. I've never been so closely involved in a fandom where the thing I'm stanning is real people who, through a tailored lens and a manufactured (to an extent) emotional connection, we are able to see grow and change through some pretty fundamental parts of their adulthood, which again, makes this so interesting and almost strange to watch. I did find aspects of the video comforting though, as someone who is a little lost in life right now, hearing Dan say some of the stuff he did in that video put a few things into perspective for me, and since it came from someone else's mouth it was nice to hear.
willowgarden wrote: Sun Mar 04, 2018 9:28 pm So I'm still stunned a little bit happy for Dan's latest video. As someone who has long touted that "we're never gonna know," due to circumstances, this seems to be a rather revealing effort on Dan's part. More thoughts under the cut for those who are interested.
First, I am happy to see that Dan and Phil have healed enough from the invasion of privacy they suffered early in their relationship, as it might have been called at the time. You know what I'm talking about.

My thoughts on that time period (2012) were that Dan was actually suffering. Phil was probably suffering. I don't use that verb lightly. Imagine you had a partner, who might not be out to his own family (every family is not from the womb accepting of different paths for their children), whose love letter to you was broadcast to you on the internet. Not only broadcast, but your fans made PDFs of its transcript, described every event, speculated about every moment, and then hounded you relentlessly for months about backtracks, coverups, efforts to suppress, and even "....I don't want this on the internet" copyright blocks from the creator himself.

Imagine if it happened to you. Would you spiral into a deeper depression? Would you stop doing videos in a style from earlier in your career, that everyone just loves, in favor of "safe" topics like spons and weird things I believed as a kid and sleepless nights? Would you procrastinate forever? Would you film DITL that made sure to show separate bedrooms, because, god knows, your grandma or grandpa heard vicious rumors and you're not out to them?

You and your partner would take a long time to heal from that sort of terrible betrayal, a glitch, an accident which destroyed so much. Whenever someone says or writes, I wonder why Phil isn't as forthcoming about sex or his sexuality or his "child-like persona", I always think,Jesus God do we really need to wonder why?! We caused it. We're the ones who hounded them. We're lucky Phil is still here. With this video, Dan's finally at a point where he, and presumably Phil, are comfortable enough to come back around, albeit only slightly. Phil's stamp of approval is not only in a liked tweet, but who the fuck do you think filmed the sad yoghurt sequence or knocked the x-box controller out of Dan's hands? Dan and Phil did this together. I wouldn't be surprised if we never hear a peep from Phil Lester's lips about his own sexuality. We've robbed him enough of his authenticity, by our own shameful behavior in insisting that we replay, repost, and reblog his most intimate thoughts for our own selfish amusement. But he explicitly helped Dan on his video about what makes him happy. And if we, an audience who spouts our idea that we so want them to be happy, can only ever see Phil's stamp of approval on Dan's loosened shield around his sexual life, then that's enough. That should be enough. (Probably won't be, you little shits.)

So when I see fanart of 2012 Dan versus 2018 Dan, God, it makes me shudder. That boy, that child, was doing the best he could. It's not his fault (or Phil's fault) that simultaneously liking cunnilingus and fellatio is actually a thing that we can't seem to wrap our heads around. It's not our fault that long-term relationships with a partner of the same biological sex doesn't make you gay or homosexual, if you're bi or pan, but few people in the fanbase understand that idea. Phil was probably so saddened or mortified by the events that Dan was clutching anything he could to explain. Dan was 21 and Phil was 25 in 2012. They were young and doing anything they could to make themselves better, after a flagrant invasion of privacy. Now he's finally come back round, after a long period of the most dramatically veiled discussion about sexuality and all we can see, in this revelation of an "ending of a cycle of events," is ha ha! Dan sucks dicks. Yeah, I always knew.

So, 2012 to 2018.
Don't ever wonder why they hide themselves. The answer is staring at you in the mirror.
God, I came on here to try to put my thoughts into words on the whole sucking dick/sexuality topic mixed with 2012 and you articulated everything I wanted to say perfectly. Honestly, thank you for posting this, because the way the phandom treats 2012 sometimes (most of the time) makes me insane. (Also, I really love how you structured your post with a "What if you were in their situation?" theme to it. It's so effective) I saw some art floating around a few weeks ago, and while it was good art, the message of it pissed me off so much. Basically it depicted 2012 Dan as homophobic towards 2018 Dan (who was wearing pink and had painted nails), and it frustrates me to no end that this fandom can't seem to wrap their heads around the fact that both of them were absolutely terrified in 2012, not only with their personal lives being displayed to the world without their consent, but also the sudden spike in fame that they were really not ready for. I also can't stand how people treat 2012 Dan as if he's a totally different person from Dan today. While it can be argued with the growth he's made from then to now that he is, the Dan we see today is the Dan that 2012 Dan wanted to be, and was, but as you said he was suffering.

Anyway this is getting long and probably unoriginal haha, but basically that's my two cents on the situation and I can't wait for more Oscars tweets tonight.
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alittledizzy
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amelieschtz wrote: Sun Mar 04, 2018 10:54 pm nvm here it is [redacted]
do you guys think this is d&p? they‘re the ones that came to my mind when i saw this pic and it was uploaded by someone very close to one of them, or at least i‘m pretty sure it‘s not a fake profile
Hi! Just to let you know why I've edited your post, it's against forum rules to share images that come from private social media of Dan and Phil's friends or family unless publicly disclosed by them.
alittledizzy wrote: Sat Mar 26, 2016 3:00 pm3. Refrain from sharing information about the individuals we discuss or about people associated with the individuals we discuss that the individuals themselves have not made publicly available. This extends to social media accounts discovered of friends and family, ex-partners, etc., and to the current location of any individual we discuss, or any individual associated with them, if there is a risk of harassment or loss of privacy.
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whatdoiknow wrote: Sun Mar 04, 2018 5:40 am I agree with most of this post, except for the last part. I'm also someone who has not always been 100% sure deppy are together, but the more that happens, the more the bigger picture points to yes they are together. I do think with the sex mentions in the video it makes it pretty clear that dan is having sex on a fairly regular basis. I also doubt they could be random hookups because I think that would like get out somehow; it basically leaves phil as the only really logical option, because I don't see how Dan could have a different long term boyfriend (or girlfriend). I'm curious why you think Dan might be dating someone else. It's a valid point, but I do wonder how the vacations, family visits, etc could be explained - I would think a long-term partner would join those types of things (maybe not every time, but at least sometimes). I just don't see how it's possible either of them could be in a relationship with someone else from what we do know about their lives, but I'm curious what you think about that.
Quoting this because it was orginally in response to my post, but also referring to other posts in the past few pages saying similar things -- so not everything i'm going to say is directly in response to the above. Also while i have a small suspicion that Dan may have a bf, it is admittedly not supported by a lot of evidence. So assume for the rest of this post i'm speaking in hypotheticals. okay, end of disclaimer lol

It really doesn't make sense to me that to many people it seems like its either phan is real or they're both single. If phan actually isn't real and they really are best friends, then its not realistic to think they'd be single forever. Plenty of people have both best friends and significant others, and i don't think it would be crazy for someone to be okay with their bf visiting their best friends families (especially when they've been friends as long as deppy), in fact i would go so far as to say that most people should be okay with it, otherwise that doesn't seem like a very healthy relationship. If one of them does have (or in the future has) a significant other, one would have to assume that they know about dan and phil being very close and are okay with it. And just because some people on the internet ship phan doesn't mean that anyone else they could possibly be romantically involved with should be so jealous that wouldn't be okay with them living together, going on tour, etc. They would know the real dan and phil a lot better than we do and would know the real dynamic of their friendship. (also with the tour thing, there's plenty of musicians/other performers that go on tour all the time for months and still have relationships and even marriages and families)

As far as like "going on vacation with phil and bryony and wirrow and not them" argument, as far as i remember we didn't even know where they were on vacation at until they got back -- basically saying we don't know the whole picture of whats going on a lot of the time, so we can't really assume who's there/ not there at any time. I mean after all, we never see any pics of wirrow, but he's still there right?
In response to the underground tunnel thing, they wouldn't even have to be sneaking boys into their apartment, we don't know where they live. There's too much that we don't know for us to assume that we do know anything, imo.

I've said this before but for me, i really won't be convinced they're together unless there's actual proof or it comes out of their own mouths. So far all they've ever said is that they are not together, and i'm going to believe them unless they say otherwise. And if i'm wrong, i will eat my words and declare them world's cutest couple and all that along with everyone else. I'm not opposed to them being together, it just doesn't seem to me like they are. Just because two guys are close and (at least dan that we know for sure) not straight doesn't mean that it has to be romantic.
"He's the guy with his flesh on show. What a hoe.
That's. Our. Dan."
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amelieschtz
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alittledizzy wrote: Sun Mar 04, 2018 11:02 pm
amelieschtz wrote: Sun Mar 04, 2018 10:54 pm nvm here it is [redacted]
do you guys think this is d&p? they‘re the ones that came to my mind when i saw this pic and it was uploaded by someone very close to one of them, or at least i‘m pretty sure it‘s not a fake profile
Hi! Just to let you know why I've edited your post, it's against forum rules to share images that come from private social media of Dan and Phil's friends or family unless publicly disclosed by them.
alittledizzy wrote: Sat Mar 26, 2016 3:00 pm3. Refrain from sharing information about the individuals we discuss or about people associated with the individuals we discuss that the individuals themselves have not made publicly available. This extends to social media accounts discovered of friends and family, ex-partners, etc., and to the current location of any individual we discuss, or any individual associated with them, if there is a risk of harassment or loss of privacy.
oh okay i‘m sorry then!
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amelieschtz wrote: Sun Mar 04, 2018 11:06 pm oh okay i‘m sorry then!
Mod post:
This is now the third time one of your posts has had to be edited and the second time you’ve been reminded of the rules after posting personal information that is not allowed here. Due to this I am going to issue you an official warning. I would recommend you read the rules carefully.

If you have any questions or wish to discuss this then please contact myself or one of the other moderators via PM.
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obsessivelymoody wrote: Sun Mar 04, 2018 11:00 pm God, I came on here to try to put my thoughts into words on the whole sucking dick/sexuality topic mixed with 2012 and you articulated everything I wanted to say perfectly. Honestly, thank you for posting this, because the way the phandom treats 2012 sometimes (most of the time) makes me insane. (Also, I really love how you structured your post with a "What if you were in their situation?" theme to it. It's so effective) I saw some art floating around a few weeks ago, and while it was good art, the message of it pissed me off so much. Basically it depicted 2012 Dan as homophobic towards 2018 Dan (who was wearing pink and had painted nails), and it frustrates me to no end that this fandom can't seem to wrap their heads around the fact that both of them were absolutely terrified in 2012, not only with their personal lives being displayed to the world without their consent, but also the sudden spike in fame that they were really not ready for. I also can't stand how people treat 2012 Dan as if he's a totally different person from Dan today. While it can be argued with the growth he's made from then to now that he is, the Dan we see today is the Dan that 2012 Dan wanted to be, and was, but as you said he was suffering.
I think I know exactly what art you're talking about, and god, it really soured my mood when I saw it the first time. Not just that, but that sooo many people I followed were reblogging it with imo really insensitive things about "2012 Dan". I think I just hate that whole concept - the "take that 2012 Dan!" attitude, like he was just some random homophobe. There's so much more nuance and depth to the situation that I hate how people treat it like that for the sake of. Idk. Memes and funny shitposts. I've learned to brush off/ignore a lot of things that bother me like that in the phandom, but that's one of the things that still gets to me. Annndd there's really no point to this post besides to just say I agree with everything you said. :lol:
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