whatdoiknow wrote: ↑Tue Mar 13, 2018 11:29 pm
Amiaw wrote: ↑Tue Mar 13, 2018 10:55 pm
tyhane wrote: ↑Tue Mar 13, 2018 9:57 pm
Yeah, I agree with most of the thoughts like this I'm seeing. It's hard for me to articulate, and it's not that I'm trying to baby him or say that he shouldn't be allowed to express what he wants on his own social media. And I have a hard time deciding what might just be me projecting onto him. I sure as hell empathize/sympathize with him, it's just for me as a "consumer", it's not the type of thing that's enjoyable for me. I'm the type that usually gets negatively affected when I hear other people talking about their mental health. And I know he's only human, but at the same time, I'm (we're) only fans. Rather than wanting him to cater to what I do enjoy, I've just been a little less engaged. It's almost been like a lesson for me, after spending months of being 100% invested and in really deep with dnp/the phandom, that I can just. Take a step back. I could choose to only engage with dapg/Phil's channel, I could choose to just watch Dan's videos and not follow him on social media, etc. if I wanted to. I'm not at that point, but it reminded me that it's an option.
I've been feeling the same way. Watching DnP hasn't been fun since this whole thing started and worrying about people that I don't know and that I'm pretty powerless to help is frustrating. Dan is allowed to be unhappy and I don't want to say that he can't express negative feelings but otoh I also worry about him "joking" or tweeting like this to his 8 million followers as a public figure. He's been struggling, and I do get it because I've been there, but he also has some responsibility as a mental health ambassador with a lot of young fans. If he is tweeting because he's in a bad place I hope that he steps away from his twitter until he's in a better frame of mind.
You're allowed to have your own feelings about the whole situation, and if that means taking a step back then that's obviously good - do whatever you need to do.
But I don't really think it's fair to put the responsibility on Dan for what his young fans see. I think that's the responsibility of a parent - if your kid is young enough and impressionable enough to be influenced by what they see online, then I think the parent needs to be monitoring their online activity and having their own conversations with the kid. I think Dan should be allowed to express his emotions how he wants, and it's not really up to him to be a perfect role model, you know?
I get your point about him being a mental health ambassador, but I don't think that needs to dictate how he lives his entire life. Like, he can still be a great mental health ambassador, and still not make the best decisions, and be able to make these (sometimes not so great) decisions publicly. At the end of the day, he only has the responsibility of looking after himself, and whatever he feels is the best way to do that is up to him (even if you - the collective you, not you personally - don't think it's the best solution). Basically, I'm trying to say that I see where you're coming from, but I don't think anyone other than a parent (or someone in that same type of authority position) has a responsibility to the kids.
I think you're both raising some important points, and as somebody who's facing my own issues (and my sense is this is true for many here among us) I feel strongly about all of this.
There are a lot of people who seem to be uncomfortable with the vibe they get from Dan's recent 'darker' tweets or other clues that remind us that he's not in the best of places. It doesn't have that effect on me.
I feel happier to see Dan express some of his feelings, veiled and polished for general consumption as they may be. Even though it worries me, I would find it horrendous to only read fun, 'relatable' and light-hearted tweets by him while having to consider that he's actually feeling terrible. There's a certain cruelty to watching a public figure keeping up a clean, fun front to "entertain" the masses while you know the reality of the situation is different. It's dishonest. It feels like putting on a show to me, while you're quietly suffering. I think that can be harmful for all involved.
To me just approaching him from the fan-entertainer dynamic feels like playing a part in the "Truman Show". Not everyone will feel the same, but I would hate pretending like nothing is going on. While it's true that I'm 'just a fan" it''s also true that I care for him as a person -even though we are strangers- and that he has opened up some about his depression with his audience, partly because he felt it was "a big part of his life we should know about" (paraphrasing his words here, he talks about his reasons in his "coming out" video of last year).
When I try to define what his responsibility would be as a public figure, it's partly informed by this sentiment. In my perspective, being a good mental health ambassador isn't in conflict with tweeting out how you genuinely are feeling about things, no matter what effect on mood that can have. People who feel their mood is badly affected and don't feel this helps them are i think right to disengage and put their own mental health first.
But others, like me, do feel helped or strangely comforted by Dan vocalizing his emotions, even if they sad and even if they offer just a glimpse into his state of mind without really enlightening us what is at the heart of the issue. We're likely struggling over different things anyway, and even if the issues we had were identical, it's really hard to explain why you feel the way you do to others. Hell often it's hard to explain it to yourself too.
So i think it's good ambassadorship to be earnest about your state of mind,
especially when it's bad. None of these feelings are likely new for him. Somebody on here said that Dan's not the best at hiding his emotions. I don't know, sometimes he is, sometimes he isn't. I don't know if he's really feeling so different than the many other times he went through a heavy period. The only difference may be that now we know some more (though still not much) about what's going on, and that he might just clue us in a bit more - or just hide a little less- to his feelings through the things he does on social media.