Dan & Phil Part 74: we stan a model

[greenergrass]

Catching up with the rize livestream now, and both the communal shower and the vagina/vulva parts were even better watching the actual video than reading about them. The shower part was hilarious - dan's face killed me. And the vagina/vulva part was great, I love how Phil kept trying to shut dan down, and then his face when dan made the tampon comment at the end.

But the reason I came to comment is because I got to 6:50ish when Phil gets his knees out for the lads. It's hard to hear with the stream sound quality, but at 6:54 does Dan say "Phil's got the whole calf out for the bears."? Because if so - lmao thanks for sharing phil's preferences, dan. I found that amusing. Or if he didn't say bears, then ignore me lol

[obsessivelymoody]

But the reason I came to comment is because I got to 6:50ish when Phil gets his knees out for the lads. It's hard to hear with the stream sound quality, but at 6:54 does Dan say "Phil's got the whole calf out for the bears."? Because if so - lmao thanks for sharing phil's preferences, dan. I found that amusing. Or if he didn't say bears, then ignore me lol

lmao he definitely said bears. ty for pointing out that bit! (and I don't care if anyone says that Dan was just talking about the forest next to them, I'm latching on to this interpretation)

[ratlad]

i for sure heard him say bear, for a second i thought i could see a look in his eyes of "oops" afterwards, but then being fine with it. or that just could have been my own reaction... either way, i replayed that part like 3 times and had a laugh.
but tbh i think phil's type is muscley men with very litte hair..
or dan

[greenergrass]

But the reason I came to comment is because I got to 6:50ish when Phil gets his knees out for the lads. It's hard to hear with the stream sound quality, but at 6:54 does Dan say "Phil's got the whole calf out for the bears."? Because if so - lmao thanks for sharing phil's preferences, dan. I found that amusing. Or if he didn't say bears, then ignore me lol

lmao he definitely said bears. ty for pointing out that bit! (and I don't care if anyone says that Dan was just talking about the forest next to them, I'm latching on to this interpretation)

hahah thanks for verifying (and I mean yeah, forest whatever, the other interpretation is more fun).


And apparently I'm just commenting as I watch the liveshow tonight lol sorry if I'm repeating anything that was already said, but at 20:20 Dan reads a question, something like "what is the june video?" and then he says something like "is that the new 'week in march', what the hell is wrong with you people? [something something] nothing exists." (sorry if these aren't exact quotes, I'm finding the audio hard to decipher). Anyways, I just wanted to bring that up, because oh dan. I love you, but you know you do this to yourself by mentioning these things right? I know some people find it frustrating, but I just find it endearing/amusing.

[hello9217]

But the reason I came to comment is because I got to 6:50ish when Phil gets his knees out for the lads. It's hard to hear with the stream sound quality, but at 6:54 does Dan say "Phil's got the whole calf out for the bears."? Because if so - lmao thanks for sharing phil's preferences, dan. I found that amusing. Or if he didn't say bears, then ignore me lol

lmao he definitely said bears. ty for pointing out that bit! (and I don't care if anyone says that Dan was just talking about the forest next to them, I'm latching on to this interpretation)

hahah thanks for verifying (and I mean yeah, forest whatever, the other interpretation is more fun).


And apparently I'm just commenting as I watch the liveshow tonight lol sorry if I'm repeating anything that was already said, but at 20:20 Dan reads a question, something like "what is the june video?" and then he says something like "is that the new 'week in march', what the hell is wrong with you people? [something something] nothing exists." (sorry if these aren't exact quotes, I'm finding the audio hard to decipher). Anyways, I just wanted to bring that up, because oh dan. I love you, but you know you do this to yourself by mentioning these things right? I know some people find it frustrating, but I just find it endearing/amusing.

My favorite part about that bit is phil going "did you get people hyped about something," after it. Phil's aware.

[autumnhearth]

Ugh all those s’mores stories were the death of me this evening, catching all their food orgasm faces and putting them in order. I think it’s funny that Phil ate his right in front of a dumpster in the parking lot, but I bet that Dan insisted on having a scenic backdrop for his photoshoot (and maybe a more private place for his reaction?)

[somethingsketchy]

Wonder why LA will be busy...ooh mystery (even though its probs nothing) Also I can't believe they are flying straight from Vancouver to Australia and not stopping off in London, even for just a day. All in all really funny liveshow, needed that today.

I'm assuming its cause they're filming that show. They don't really have time to do anything else so it can't be a collab. They have the show and then the San Diego show the next day. But, a small part of me is still hoping

The San Diego show is actually the day before the LA show. They have the day after off, and I’m assuming they’re going to travel to Seattle then.

[sonicgreen]

Also I'm now convinced that sonicgreen is a fairy of wonders. Who might have sold her soul to Rize idk.

true.

[Phantasy]

Ugh all those s’mores stories were the death of me this evening, catching all their food orgasm faces and putting them in order. I think it’s funny that Phil ate his right in front of a dumpster in the parking lot, but I bet that Dan insisted on having a scenic backdrop for his photoshoot (and maybe a more private place for his reaction?)

I love the flirtatious/ kindred spirit type energy that goes on between Ben J. Pierce and Dan (they have similar tastes and often like each others instas and share some of the same likes on twitter)...

[LtrllySusan]

Without having seen the live show, this thread reads like you all had a collective fever dream. Dan talking about vulvas and tampons? I can't even imagine the context of that.
Can't wait to watch that later, lol.

[Ataraxia25]

Hi! i just found that on twitter and i was wondering if anyone here had noticed it! it’s the insta story of someone from the merch team (i think it’s lauren if i remember correctly) i watched it when she posted it but never noticed dans voice in the background

(and look, ive finally managed to embed a tweet )

[knq]

The sound from the liveshow is so frustrating! YouTube’s auto captioning is more confused than I am. Some notable quotes include: Yeti publicist, it looks like fun improve on sex, fundamental Christian art, and it’s dick taste.

Not sure if that last one’s a mistake. Wouldn’t surprise me from 2018 Dan and Phil.

Anyway, I’m glad someone caught it. I’m surprised to learn Dan was scared waking up on the bus parked in the forest. I know he’s afraid of trees at night in rural places, but like, it was morning on a bus and Phil was taking aesthetic photos. Not that I’m criticising. I like when Dan’s open about vulnerabilities.

Most importantly, Dan’s sassy hand thing while saying ‘excuse me, Phil, it’s a vulva’ is everything I’ve ever wanted.

On the topic of vulvas. Dan references some deeper phandom discourse there. I’m not surprised if he knew some people were unhappy he and Phil don’t say vagina often, but getting all the way down to the part of the discourse where someone suggests we encourage them to use the term vulva instead of vagina when it’s technically more correct—I’m surprised Dan read anything that far into the conversation.

Not surprised he decided to talk about vaginas though. I kind of predicted that from the last LS. Dan is the kind of person to periodically whisper vagina into Phil’s ear for the next 60 years just to prove that he can/get back at Phil for startling him.

[Stakhanov]

Hi! i just found that on twitter and i was wondering if anyone here had noticed it! it’s the insta story of someone from the merch team (i think it’s lauren if i remember correctly) i watched it when she posted it but never noticed dans voice in the background

(and look, ive finally managed to embed a tweet )

That was hillarious :mrgreen:

1) Dan is a drama queen (confirmed again)
2) wth could this be? My first thought is ... Phil's removing his face mask? Some kind of waxing?

[LtrllySusan]

2) wth could this be? My first thought is ... Phil's removing his face mask? Some kind of waxing?

I haven't listened to the clip (at work rn), but based on the transcript my best guess is a pimple Or he stepped in something/got stung and they had to pull it out?
I am not sure why they'd be waxing each other while watching Jurassic Park.

[Ataraxia25]

2) wth could this be? My first thought is ... Phil's removing his face mask? Some kind of waxing?

I haven't listened to the clip (at work rn), but based on the transcript my best guess is a pimple Or he stepped in something/got stung and they had to pull it out?
I am not sure why they'd be waxing each other while watching Jurassic Park.

i bet on the face mask, i think i can hear dan saying something like ‘it’s wet/i’m
wet’ ? so maybe the face mask being removed by phil?

[QuiteFriendly]

2) wth could this be? My first thought is ... Phil's removing his face mask? Some kind of waxing?

I haven't listened to the clip (at work rn), but based on the transcript my best guess is a pimple Or he stepped in something/got stung and they had to pull it out?
I am not sure why they'd be waxing each other while watching Jurassic Park.

i bet on the face mask, i think i can hear dan saying something like ‘it’s wet/i’m
wet’ ? so maybe the face mask being removed by phil?

I can't hear him saying Phil ansddefinitely not the "Do it quickly". He says Jeff Goldblum in the beginning though.

I think he's just commenting on what's happening in the film.

Still funny though.

[Stakhanov]

Hm a pimple. Could be. Going by how loud their voices are vs Lauren's (?) and the screen, I don't think they are next to her watching. If it's a pimple, I can't help but laugh at Dan for making such a fuzz about it. A short "auw" i could understand but they boy is squealing like they're performing an amputation without anesthetics.

I'm betting on face mask too because the long "auugghhs" fit a clumsy/inexperienced phil trying to pull off a facemask slowly and delicately... and that doesn't tend to work.

Also popping out each other's pimples is a intimate line i don't even see two bi best buddies cross, especially with people around. While removing a face mask you could consider as part of the whole make-up/ prep routine of the (next) show. Remember the scene from the making of tatinof where they brush off each other's faces just behind the stage curtains? I think it's very cute how they help each other throughout the whole ordeal of performing.

Not for the innocent

I guess there's one other interpretation we're all entertaining here :mrgreen: Obviously long boi Phil is having sex with confirmed bottom Dan, and Lauren will have to turn up the volume even more to block out that level of steamy passion. Of course Jurassic park is tragically the exact wrong choice since it will only help to arouse scaley Phil so unless Dan brought he Haru pillow to bite in, we're going to hear a lot more of his screaming :mrgreen:

[flarequake]

I read that Twitter thread a bit and the girl who posted it said someone confirmed the guys were doing the show at the time, so I don’t know what’s meant to be going on in the background.

Haru pillow to bite on indeed

I love the s’mores tasting, Dan raving over it, Phil having a bit of marshmallow left on his mouth, why is he so cute, and Dan’s aesthetic selfie is very pretty.

[Stakhanov]

Wait if that was during the show i'm even more confused. What could possibly going on? Are we hearing them on stage or behind the curtains? Do they ever go off stage during the show? Is it just before or after the show? Is it the wheel scene? Some rough changing of the wiring of the mic or whatever else tech they are wearing for the show
What Is this babuse?

Dan's selfie is so over the top i'm liking it again. They guy has no mercy Sometimes I think he hates us for admiring how good he looks and so he's on a mission to kill us all only to confirm his deep suspicions that we can't see beyond his beauty. He knows exactly how to look sexy. How is that curl even working so well together with that flat top?

[flarequake]

She meant that they were onstage so it couldn't have been them in the background. I don't what or who it is, in that case.

[Ataraxia25]

I read that Twitter thread a bit and the girl who posted it said someone confirmed the guys were doing the show at the time, so I don’t know what’s meant to be going on in the background.

Haru pillow to bite on indeed

I love the s’mores tasting, Dan raving over it, Phil having a bit of marshmallow left on his mouth, why is he so cute, and Dan’s aesthetic selfie is very pretty.

oh i didn’t know that when i posted the tweet! damn i thought the voice in the background really sounded like dan’s! then i guess it may be one of the boys of the merch team!

[autumnhearth]

Yeah... it doesn’t really sound like either them to me, probably one of the crew. We saw some guys in their twenties or thirties loading tubs off of the the trailer behind one of the buses. And Lauren did tag the story at the venue. The only time the merch team would have had time for dinner and a movie would be during the show (as they are busy during intermission and right after the show let’s out) or on their bus and it wasn’t the latter.

[alittledizzy]

I think since Dan and Phil talked specifically about movies every night it made sense that the merch team's movie night was the same as Dan and Phil's, but yeah if they were on stage while the merch team was watching then I guess that's not them after all. I can definitely see why people assumed Dan though.

(My only other thought is: don't some theaters pipe stage audio through the entire building when a show is happening? If so then it could be them, literally on stage.)

On the topic of vulvas. Dan references some deeper phandom discourse there. I’m not surprised if he knew some people were unhappy he and Phil don’t say vagina often, but getting all the way down to the part of the discourse where someone suggests we encourage them to use the term vulva instead of vagina when it’s technically more correct—I’m surprised Dan read anything that far into the conversation.

Based on the number of tweets he got after the previous liveshow that either just said the word vagina or were a variation on 'say vagina, you coward' he definitely would have seen the displeasure with Phil using it while Dan stuck with 'front bum.'

I definitely think that working the whole vulva thing in was just his way of not making it obvious he was responding to critique about him by pretending he was responding to critique about Phil. (To be fair I did see a few people comment on it being vulva not vagina re: Phil, but it was the vast minority compared to people responding to Dan's inability to use any non-childish words about it.)

[knq]

I think since Dan and Phil talked specifically about movies every night it made sense that the merch team's movie night was the same as Dan and Phil's, but yeah if they were on stage while the merch team was watching then I guess that's not them after all. I can definitely see why people assumed Dan though.

(My only other thought is: don't some theaters pipe stage audio through the entire building when a show is happening? If so then it could be them, literally on stage.)

On the topic of vulvas. Dan references some deeper phandom discourse there. I’m not surprised if he knew some people were unhappy he and Phil don’t say vagina often, but getting all the way down to the part of the discourse where someone suggests we encourage them to use the term vulva instead of vagina when it’s technically more correct—I’m surprised Dan read anything that far into the conversation.

Based on the number of tweets he got after the previous liveshow that either just said the word vagina or were a variation on 'say vagina, you coward' he definitely would have seen the displeasure with Phil using it while Dan stuck with 'front bum.'

I definitely think that working the whole vulva thing in was just his way of not making it obvious he was responding to critique about him by pretending he was responding to critique about Phil. (To be fair I did see a few people comment on it being vulva not vagina re: Phil, but it was the vast minority compared to people responding to Dan's inability to use any non-childish words about it.)

I mean, it was painfully obvious but Dan is a painfully obvious sort of person and I try to roll with it. What I'm surprised by is that he took the 'actually, it's a vulva' route of bringing the topic back up, because that's not something I'd expect him to see often or at all, now that I've gotten curious and checked twitter.

If you type @amazingphil vulva into twitter's search you get 1 tweet from 2015, 1 from 2017, 1 from July 26th which I assume is what Dan saw, and 1 that's summarizing their last Rize liveshow.

That's it. That is how many times (+/- 1) someone has mentioned a vulva to either of them on twitter in the last.... forever. Wow. That's... sad.

So, assuming Dan actually read anything in a tweet which included the word vulva directed at either him or Phil in the last year, this was it:

[alittledizzy]

That tweet does sound pretty similar to what Dan said in the show. I wonder if he just happened to see it or if he actually searched to see if anyone said that so he'd have a reason to mention it? Hilarious, though.

Here are my timestamps for the liveshow:

:53 - Phil scolds Dan for swearing at the audience.
1:14 - They're in Kentucky and woke up in the woods.
1:27 - Phil was the first person to wake up on the bus. They had no phone signal.
1:36 - Yeti/Bigfoot/BFG, momentary tangent into Roald Dahl books.
2:19 - Phil just had a shower, they have communal showers. Dan immediately looks pained.
2:24 - "We didn't have a communal shower together. We just had individual showers."
2:43 - Phil's stupid laughter. I love it. "Jesus Christ," indeed, Dan.
2:59 - Phil had a big coffee.
3:12 - Dan was scared when he woke up in the woods.
3:33 - They ordered exciting lattes. Phil says it's the most exciting coffee menu he's ever seen, Dan is dubious.
3:45 - They got a campfire mocha, chocolate and marshmallows. Phil was afraid it would be smokey tasting.
4:18 - The colon tweet.
4:41 - Phil asks someone's mum if they want him to mow their lawn. Dan brings the communal shower back up.
5:23 - Dan brings the fortune cookie conversation from the last liveshow back up. Dan defends himself not saying vagina by pretending to defend Phil not saying vulva.
6:20 - Phil is afraid they're gonna get demonetized on Rize, but Dan is determined to complete this unfinished business. Also figures out a way to shove the word tampon in there.
6:48 - Phil's got his knees out for the lads. Dan says he's got his calf out for the bears.
7:10 - Taco salad tweet.
8:05 - Tim Hortons II: The American Sequel.
8:27 - Phil chastises Dan for name dropping a brand that isn't paying them. ("This is not a spon.")
8:45 - Fizzy milk tweet.
9:45 - Dan likes a Starbucks cold brew cappucino. Wants to know if Tim Horton's sells coffee drinks without loads of sugar.
10:11 - Still working on TBC dates.
10:33 - Phil is squirming on the worst chair ever. #spon for the next few dates.
11:58 - Weird bus phenomenon, Phil feels like he's moving when he's not on the bus.
12:30 - Phil told that to his mum and she's afraid he's broken forever.
13:00 - Car drove into the bus; the driver was trying to park and a car drive into them. Bus was fine, car was totaled, but no one was hurt.
13:50 - Phil thinks the scary part is that Dan didn't wake up. Phil almost fell out of his bunk but it only pushed Dan toward the wall.
14:10 - Coffee cup fell over in the kitchen. Police were there, loads of things were going down. Dan was sleeping. Phil: "It was a terrifying prospect."
14:35 - They'll get a real Tim Hortons in Vancouver.
14:44 - New TOP.
15:08 - Discussion about Phil undoing his top couple buttons. Dan says if he wants to be Harry Styles he needs to unbutton it all the way down.
15:50 - Dan tells him to do whatever makes him comfortable and confident.
15:55 - Phil is snacking on Milano mint chocolates and vanilla chip granola bars, after a disappointing salad. Dan doesn't think it was disappointing. Debate ensues about how to pronounce jalapeno.
16:26 - Backpack/signed pic promo.
17:00 - "Why isn't our shop in your autofill? That's what I want to know, Dan."
17:54 - Geography gaming video; they were okay but there's a lot they don't know about and they tried their best. Last gaming video wasn't in sub boxes.
18:55 - Ohio talk.
19:32 - Phil's merch; Dan mock whispers that Phil's hair caused a lot of problems. He didn't want the fringe on the labels but it'll still be on one of them. Dan: "Phil, with his little living his truth rebrand, went and ruined everything." The one label he couldn't change will officially be the last thing to ever have an emo fringe on it.
20:19 - He'll start doing a ountdown to merch on his twitter soon.
20:23 - Someone mentions the June video. "What is that, the new week in Merch? What the hell is wrong with you people?" Phil asks if Dan got people hyped for something.
20:38 - LA will be very busy. For reasons.
20:54 - They'll film more gaming videos tomorrow and they'll be uploaded whenever they're edited.
21:01 - Babuse is a whole thing. "It has a history, okay."
21:23 - Dan gave him nightmares; they were having a chat on the bus ("us and our little team") about conspiracy theories/true things that happened. He started telling them about the Dyatlov Pass (Phil says don't look it up, it's scary; Dan just says it's interesting) and it made Phil scared. Then Phil had a dream that he and Dan and Julianne Moore were hiking in the snow and then she fell down a hole and Phil was looking down an endless drop down the center of the earth through the snow and Dan was holding his legs dangling him down the hole and had his phone torch on and Dan let go of his legs.
22:45 - Dan explains that Phil's mind doesn't combine scary things with his subconscious, he just dreams about the exact same thing.
23:02 - Phil is mad at real Dan because dream Dan let go of his legs.
23:34 - They're doing the longest flight you can do; Vancouver to Melbourne, 18 and a half hours.
23:55 - Phil does the 'I spy, I spy, I spy!' thing.
24:08 - They want to see koalas.
24:18 - Dan shames Phil for having never been to New Zealand or India.
24:22 - Dan says he's been to India twice; tells us the first time was when he was 11 then for some weird strange gosh-who-knows-why reason lets the sentence drop before telling us the second time he was there. What a mystery.
24:31 - Phil is also excited to go to Manila.
24:41 - Discussion about how kangaroos can kill you.
25:27 - They talk about Goosebumps.
25:53 - Gaming tomorrow, they'll be doing Sims. Might be dressing room gaming, might be bus gaming.
27:24 - Dan thinks Phil's shirt is snazzy. Story about how Phil's shirt was covered in shampoo.
27:55 - They're each choosing a movie to watch on the bus, Dan chose Unbreakable. It was slow and cheesy. Phil wants to choose Gremlins but it's a Christmas movie. Dan loves Tom Hardy and Riz Ahmed.
28:45 - People ask about the noise; Phil says Dan is shaking his flow water, Dan says he's shaking his booty and that's just the sound that it makes.