Dan & Phil Part 31: You're stuck with me for life

[isabella]

I guess. I think it's just my need to know nosy nature that makes it infuriating.

How many people actually on here believe they are together?

I think it's safe to say you're not alone in that lol I personally believe they are most likely together, just given the whole picture of what we know from 2009-now. I agree that it's none of our business and not our place to ask for details or try to out them though. However, I do see the point that it would hurt their brand for them not to be together, and I think that's valid. Even if they haven't done anything but verbally push the bffs image, they know how they've got the shippers wound up with all the flirting and ~domestic~ stuff they do. I feel like this is a debate we have too often (although really how can we not), and I'm not on team they're queerbaiting AT ALL. I just think that if they're not together, they better have a great plan for damage control when that comes to light because I think it will hurt their brand no matter what. Anyway, that's just my two cents!

[MoonPride]

Part of me was thinking last night that they really owe it to the fans to be honest if they truly are not dating. Because the more they drag it out without any kind of (recent) denial I believe it's all going to just blow up in their faces and people will accuse them of leading them on. I believe the brand will suffer more in the end.

Uh, and if they are dating? Do they owe fans details in that case? If you don't like not having a clear enough answer and think it's manipulative on their part, then stop watching them. What you're saying (if they are more than friends) is "tell me the personal details of your life you'd rather keep to yourself or straight up lie to my face so I can stop wondering about those details." Same as those people who have the lack of class to ask them/family/friends to their face: they're being put in a position to potentially (if they are indeed together blah blah) out a loved one's private life or lie. Hmmm, I wonder which is the obvious choice. If D&P don't want to say "hey we're in love with each other, thanks for the support" there's a reason for that. Probably many reasons. None of which are anybody's business but theirs.

I said it doesn't matter to me what they are as I would still watch. I just think it's minuplative to encourage 'Phan' for monetary gain. All the sexual innuendo towards each other doesn't help either. I'm just concerned that it may all blow up in their faces and be left with nothing but a bad reputation.

[fancybum]

I said it doesn't matter to me what they are as I would still watch. I just think it's minuplative to encourage 'Phan' for monetary gain. All the sexual innuendo towards each other doesn't help either. I'm just concerned that it may all blow up in their faces and be left with nothing but a bad reputation.

You think how they naturally act is manipulative, so you want them to out themselves in order for the way they act with each other to be acceptable... I can't.
Listen. If it blows up, it blows up. But this has been an ongoing, repeated conversation for years at this point. They're doing just fine. If they ended up moving out or with other partners, then yeah there would be a quasimeltdown in some parts of the phandom for a little while, and sure some viewers would leave, but who cares. D&P can worry about that when and if they ever need to, don't waste your time doing it for them.

[MoonPride]

I said it doesn't matter to me what they are as I would still watch. I just think it's minuplative to encourage 'Phan' for monetary gain. All the sexual innuendo towards each other doesn't help either. I'm just concerned that it may all blow up in their faces and be left with nothing but a bad reputation.

You think how they naturally act is manipulative, so you want them to out themselves in order for the way they act with each other to be acceptable... I can't.
Listen. If it blows up, it blows up. But this has been an ongoing, repeated conversation for years at this point. They're doing just fine. If they ended up moving out or with other partners, then yeah there would be a quasimeltdown in some parts of the phandom for a little while, and sure some viewers would leave, but who cares. D&P can worry about that when and if they ever need to, don't waste your time doing it for them.

We have no idea if they 'naturally' act on camera or if it's just a big old show for it. .

[flurry]

Can I just wade in again to say that fancybum I totally agree with you and you put my thoughts into words so well! As a sidenote, is there anywhere that the Boncas awards will be streamed or recorded, whether for live watching or for repeat watching?

Additionally, it just struck me that I personally would love to see Phil on QI. I'm not sure if Deppy will be good panel comedians though it sure is an interesting career choice out of Youtube if they can make it! The Brits do seem to like their panel shows and the circuit of comedians has been changing up a bit these days. Also Deppy seem to be quite good at ad-libbing or even the occasional surreal aside. (The sexual innuendoes make them quite the comics too I feel!)

[papierklemmen]

lol whenever someone comes out as "straight" people condemn them for stealing the thunder, making it about themselves etc. recently jack falahee, an actor who plays a gay character on htgawm, clarified that he's straight (or, not gay... hah) and announced that he wants to be an ally (there was a lot more to it, the trump thing and all, but it's a whole other story). people just rolled their eyes and said "wow, coming out as straight, how is this necessary?".
the same goes out to the not-dating rumours. what is there to announce if there's nothing to announce? when in fact, there are no actual rumors in the media.

d&p IMPLY that they're not together a lot. people choose to ignore those messages. everyone ignored 2012 when dan outright stated that phan is not real. everyone ignored their friends/family's denials.

imagine that today they announce they're not together, never have been and never will be. half of the phandom will choose not to believe it anyway. some people would rather go the larry way.

[Skeletorsrighthand]

I guess. I think it's just my need to know nosy nature that makes it infuriating.

How many people actually on here believe they are together?

a lot i think. but from me personally no but leaning on yes, i have seen compilation upon compilations of early tweets, daily-booths, videos and what i came to learn is that relationships are messy thing. in a personal way we really dont know who they truly are we see them through what they show us that's why i'm not really comfortable about people talking to them about them being together it can cause a crack in a relationship (and it did) we dont know the truth, but we can piece things together and subconsciously look at things the way we want to see it. so until they say it my answer is no.

[eevee]

where in the world are dan and phil?

[CallMeAyana]

Just gonna add my two cents:
Some people believe that they're together, but most people just ship them. Also, it's not our business to know what their relationship behind the camera is. They don't need to tell us that. They're content, they're happy, we're happy, and I'm happy, and maybe they'll tell us someday, but not now.

[alittledizzy]

Part of me was thinking last night that they really owe it to the fans to be honest if they truly are not dating. Because the more they drag it out without any kind of (recent) denial I believe it's all going to just blow up in their faces and people will accuse them of leading them on. I believe the brand will suffer more in the end.

Uh, and if they are dating? Do they owe fans details in that case? If you don't like not having a clear enough answer and think it's manipulative on their part, then stop watching them. What you're saying (if they are more than friends) is "tell me the personal details of your life you'd rather keep to yourself or straight up lie to my face so I can stop wondering about those details." Same as those people who have the lack of class to ask them/family/friends to their face: they're being put in a position to potentially (if they are indeed together blah blah) out a loved one's private life or lie. Hmmm, I wonder which is the obvious choice. If D&P don't want to say "hey we're in love with each other, thanks for the support" there's a reason for that. Probably many reasons. None of which are anybody's business but theirs.

fancybum said everything I would have.

Closeted people don't owe it to anyone to come out, famous or not, until they're ready. If anyone feels offended because they feel manipulated, well - no one is forcing you to continue supporting them with your money or your views or your online engagement.

[nephilimcat]

I said it doesn't matter to me what they are as I would still watch. I just think it's minuplative to encourage 'Phan' for monetary gain. All the sexual innuendo towards each other doesn't help either. I'm just concerned that it may all blow up in their faces and be left with nothing but a bad reputation.

The problem here is: we don't know how much they are themselves on camera. Maybe they act like that in private all the time. We can't know for sure. What if their friendship actually includes making sexual innuendos and flirting all the time? Should they stop doing it so that people will stop shipping them? That would be pretty sad and I think it would reflect on the quality of their videos.
I personally believe that whether they are together or not, they realised that denying Phan won't do anyone any good and decided to just relax, be more genuine and still not confirm/deny Phan like they/Dan did in 2012 because they realised it's the best decision for them personally and their career. Maybe that includes some manipulation and lying, but their private life is none of our business and if they have to do that to protect it, I'm fine with it. Do they make money by doing that? Yes, but I don't believe they do everything for money. If that was the case, they won't put so much effort in the stuff they do. They want to make good stuff that we will enjoy and they won't feel bad taking our money for. And that's enough for me to believe that they are genuine where it counts.

[hopefulemm]

Sorry if this is tl;dr. I have too many tangled thoughts.

Regardless of how I interpret the nature of their relationship, I don't feel like I'm owed any answers or information about their private lives. They're entitled to their privacy and the right to present themselves in whatever way makes them comfortable outside of that private space (be it on the internet or on the radio or on a stage or out in public; so long, of course, that their conduct doesn't harm anyone else, which... isn't applicable to them imo, I don't know what I'm saying, I'm going to shut up now). I mean, if I was in their shoes, that's what I would hope/expect my audience would allow me.

Anyway, I think by now they've realized that regardless of what they say their relationship is, we will continue to see things as we will. If some people ship it and believe it, a denial probs isn't going to stop them. In the case of the opposite, people are going to call it pandering to the shippers and fanservice. Again, if I were in their shoes, I'd probably just go with the flow and live my life, because shipping/not shipping/believing/not believing isn't harming anyone and people are always going to see things in their own way. It is what it is.

I think calling their on-camera flirtatiousness with each other manipulative is a bit extreme. I mean, they've been like that all along, as far as I can tell. Personal opinion, but I think a lot of their distanced, no-homo, I'm-going-to-sit-a-bit-away-from-you behavior in the years where they were most clearly uncomfortable with the shipping and whatnot was just on-camera behavior brought on by an over-awareness of their audience and said audience's perception and close scrutiny; I don't think in their personal off-camera lives their behavior around each other actually changed. So... I actually think they're being more open and genuine now with us than they were before.

Besides, there's nothing wrong with flirting with your friends, if friends is all they are; it's playful and fun. Perhaps some fraction of what ends up in their content is fanservice--but why is that a bad thing? (I mean, I suppose if you believe they're straight, it could be harmful to lgbt+ viewers, but correct me if I'm wrong--neither of them have ever claimed to be straight before, have they? Claimed attraction to women, yes; but outright heterosexual, period? And yes, I'm genuinely asking because there are certain aspects of 2012 that I've skirted around because I'm a sensitive marshmallow fluff who can't handle certain tones of... voice and interaction.) I mean, occasionally their fanservice-y interludes make me want to explode from shock and second-hand embarrassment, but mostly it makes me laugh.

Perhaps it's that all of my other real-person-fandom ships have survived solely on the existence of a friendship (hopefully) and probs some form of fanservice alone, but it doesn't strike me as inherently wrong to do silly, indulgent things with someone you're comfortable with for your audience's amusement and/or pleasure, so long as both people involved are on the same page about what they're doing for said audience.

[koalaselfie]

Only chipping into the conversation to say that, for me, what currently doesn't make sense are how vague the (present) denials are? Like, sure, deppy have their reasons, but I can't help thinking a straight (pun not intended, lol) statement like 'We are friends and not dating', just once, off the bat, would settle the curiosity all the fans have, if it really bothers . (I guess they have stated this, in roundabout ways, but never directly, you know?) But then I guess one pull/allure of their brand is their relationship's mystery and chemistry, and I can say for sure I wouldn't be hanging around as much here or watching their stuff if it wasn't for the strapped to my face. Sad but true; I guess that's how I roll, haha.
And no, I'm not saying they're actively using that mystery for #views ... maybe even they don't know how to define their relationship? Dan and his no-labels schtick. Maybe they have this super fluid relationship where sometimes they're dating, sometimes they're not. So it might not even fit the rubric of 'yes we are'/'no we're not' at all. So they go with 'friends' consistently because you're always kinda friends with a life partner right, regardless if you're dating or not? Which leads me full circle back to the lack of 'we're not dating' statements, (I realize I'm favouring clear spoken responses over head shakes or w/e but I guess I find those more believable?)

This post is a mess, I'm sorry

And disclaimer: I don't mind if they come out/stay closeted/aren't even in a closet. I'll still watch them regardless tbh.

And OT, but Phil liked a tweet from Evan Peters:

Do these two (D+P) share crushes now?

[alittledizzy]

I think calling their on-camera flirtatiousness with each other manipulative is a bit extreme. I mean, they've been like that all along, as far as I can tell. Personal opinion, but I think a lot of their distanced, no-homo, I'm-going-to-sit-a-bit-away-from-you behavior in the years where they were most clearly uncomfortable with the shipping and whatnot was just on-camera behavior brought on by an over-awareness of their audience and said audience's perception and close scrutiny; I don't think in their personal off-camera lives their behavior around each other actually changed. So... I actually think they're being more open and genuine now with us than they were before.

This is exactly how I feel.

(I mean, I suppose if you believe they're straight, it could be harmful to lgbt+ viewers, but correct me if I'm wrong--neither of them have ever claimed to be straight before, have they? Claimed attraction to women, yes; but outright heterosexual, period?

Nope, never. And I also agree with the point you're making in this paragraph. It often feels to me like people want to justify their own anger/disappointment/impatience over Dan and Phil not coming out so they find a way to try and make it something Dan and Phil are doing that is bad and phrase it in the most negative ways so people are more likely to agree with them. But if Dan and Phil were genuinely straight that would certainly be baiting/manipulation and going back a long way.

[coffeepenguin]

Don't have anything to contribute to the Deppy dating discussion, I'm with fancybum and dizzy on that, but re: THINGS Dan wants to talk about, my guess it's either
1. the mysterious project they promised in autumn we still don't know much about (we still don't, right?), or
2. another mysterious project completely unknown to us that would replace SAP/radio show/TATINOF in 2017, or
3. something-something-politics (a girl can hope), or
4. policing the phandom for something? idk (hope not)

But, like, no way they're talking about their private life, Deppy have literally never announced anything remotely private in this manner, why start now? Aside from moving to London, I guess, but although I do think it's possible they move in 2017, they wouldn't do it now, in the midst of another leg of the tour and right before Christmas.

also, hi guys, I still follow the forum religiously, very jealous of people seeing EU TATINOF, I suddenly have visa problems and literally can't leave France right now, even if it's within the EU, whyyyy

[sia]

Hello new people I just want to bring attention to some very old opinions of Dan and Phil about sharing personal stuff and I wouldn't be surprised if they are still valid today;

Trigger Warning :

Alex Day and Veeoneeye make an appearance

7:33 and 8:22 and just ignore Hazel talking in the middle and I would suggest to stop watching as soon as they stop talking because right after that we can hear Alex Day being super creepy and Dan and Phil don't really say anything else for the rest of the episode.

[Cheekyposter]

Just gonna add my two cents:
Some people believe that they're together, but most people just ship them. Also, it's not our business to know what their relationship behind the camera is. They don't need to tell us that. They're content, they're happy, we're happy, and I'm happy, and maybe they'll tell us someday, but not now.

[malday]

If people are disappointed because d&p's relationship isn't what they expected it to be, they have only themselves to blame, not d&p.

I only hope they have the maturity to see that, and not hate on deppy.

[papierklemmen]

If people are disappointed because d&p's relationship isn't what they expected it to be, they have only themselves to blame, not d&p.

I only hope they have the maturity to see that, and not hate on deppy.

+1

[flurry]

If people are disappointed because d&p's relationship isn't what they expected it to be, they have only themselves to blame, not d&p.

I only hope they have the maturity to see that, and not hate on deppy.

I totally agree with this again! I feel quite glad to see balanced views here. On Twitter the other day, I saw someone who @dan and Phil and told them to quickly come out so that "phan could be canon" which really made me because this isn't some TV show or movie where there's "canon" and "fanfiction" - this is literally somebody's life. People can ship them all they want, but to actually send them a message to read that asks for their lives to conform to the fictional universe shippers have created is a bit over the line for me (even if Deppy do turn out to be a couple, this is still overboard)

[norealpablo]

norealpablo I agree with you so much! I totally feel that they don't owe us anything - maybe at the very most to make videos to keep their viewers satisfied, but even if they stop making videos, sad as it may be, it still isn't denying us anything that is legitimately ours. I think the very most is that they owe us an explanation if they do stop their YT careers - just to let their fans who have followed their stuff know why. But definitely with regards to their private lives, we don't have a right to them.

Also, yeah I'm confused why people say they haven't denied being together because they have? And no one has believed them so I feel, at the moment, that even if they do somehow say they're together or not in a confirmed way, no one is going to believe it but we're all going to analyse it for some deeper meaning. As we do

Just my two cents' worth!

we're just their audience and nobody ever told us that we'll be invited in their lives more then we are now. so we can either accept it and enjoy what we have or simply just stop watching them. what we like to do in our spare time (theorize/fantasize/overanalyze) it's just our problem tbh, they never told they'll join in our speculations and will keep us updated on their relationships

I guess. I think it's just my need to know nosy nature that makes it infuriating.

How many people actually on here believe they are together?

for me personally, it's 51% for "together" and 49% for "bff". on good days i'd say - 60/40.

If people are disappointed because d&p's relationship isn't what they expected it to be, they have only themselves to blame, not d&p.

I only hope they have the maturity to see that, and not hate on deppy.

this.

[Galactic-Howell]

My question is. If Dan and Phil were really together in secret, would Dan /really/ be comfortable making a daddy joke both in a video and onstage?

[psychicmoth]

Anyway, I think by now they've realized that regardless of what they say their relationship is, we will continue to see things as we will. If some people ship it and believe it, a denial probs isn't going to stop them. In the case of the opposite, people are going to call it pandering to the shippers and fanservice. Again, if I were in their shoes, I'd probably just go with the flow and live my life, because shipping/not shipping/believing/not believing isn't harming anyone and people are always going to see things in their own way. It is what it is.

I think this is the only real answer. I have the strong feeling they are together, but this is just my way to see their actions and statements, I totally understand how others see this in a completely different way. This is very relative and I think everything will remain blurry for a long time. That's not our businesses as everyone else said. But I think it's just a matter of time to get a proper answer to our theories, who knows For the moment we can just sit down and enjoy watching their happiness

Btw, am I the only one who thinks that the THINGS to TALK ABOUT are actually Trump and Kanye? He is always like this. "PREPARE YOURSELVES FOR APRIL AND DECEMBER" he said, and at the end we got Minions and Frozen lol

[fancybum]

My question is. If Dan and Phil were really together in secret, would Dan /really/ be comfortable making a daddy joke both in a video and onstage?

Yes.

[confusedpanda]

My question is. If Dan and Phil were really together in secret, would Dan /really/ be comfortable making a daddy joke both in a video and onstage?

In my opinion, yes. It's not like that's a secret kink of theirs or something, if it was, they wouldn't mention it anyways. Them saying that kinda makes me think they are just making fun of a kink people write them having or just them joking around in general about how it sounds to them. It has nothing to do with if they are together or not.