Personally it doesn't make a great deal of difference to me whether Dan retweets his old IWD tweet, makes a new one or ignores the day entirely. I don't have a great deal of sympathy toward men who are too afraid to mention the day for fear of saying the wrong thing as I think they should just suck it up and get over it as there are bigger issues at hand, so one tweet doesn't make too much of a difference to me personally. I do feel that there's a good chance he went with retweeting his old one because of the general mood in the phandom at the moment, and I think he was justified in doing that I guess.
Re: The Memeing of Life - I agree with sirens-in-distance. I didn't dislike it because I felt he was unqualified to talk about philosophy without a philosophy degree. I disliked it because a) I felt it made no sense and lacked structure or a clear point and b) I thought the argument he was making (from what I could glean of it) was stupid. I disagree with him that we're at a stagnant point in history, and I think his perspective is clearly that of a wealthy white man. By romanticising those early scientific/geographic discoveries and linking them to a now-lost purpose in life, he glosses over the link between those discoveries and colonialism.
He put forward a very sheltered perspective of what it means to achieve great things in life, ignoring the fact that women and people of colour were excluded from education and opportunities to make the kinds of world-altering scientific discoveries he talked about (or else had their achievements stolen or erased by white men), and entirely ignored the horrific realities of colonialism. It didn't seem malicious necessarily, just really ignorant, and therefore it didn't resonate with me at all.
People are allowed to dislike Dan and/or Phil's content, and often the reasoning is more than just 'it was pretentious'.
Dan & Phil Part 67: Laughter, Food and Sex
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captainspacecoat
- stress mushroom
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mysterylovescompany
- philussy
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(okay i'm curious about the answer to the weed question so i posted in the white whale thread.)
re dan retweeting his old tweet: maybe give the man a break. if he said it well the first time there's no real point rephrasing the same thing for internet points. i think we can all agree that he's probably not in the best mental space at the moment.
re dan retweeting his old tweet: maybe give the man a break. if he said it well the first time there's no real point rephrasing the same thing for internet points. i think we can all agree that he's probably not in the best mental space at the moment.
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greenergrass
- stress mushroom
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I just watched this Joe Sugg vlog where he went to an escape room and filmed the whole thing (under cut, starting at about 9:20)
I'm linking this in the main thread instead of Joe's thread, because I was talking on here recently about wanting Dan and Phil to do an escape room for the gaming channel. The fact that Joe filmed it made me want deppy to do it even more.
I hope if they did ever do one for a video, they would choose a different place than this one though. This was nothing like the escape rooms I've done myself. I don't know about anyone else, but I've never had someone in the room guiding me through all the clues. The most I've had is the opportunity to speak through a walkie-talkie to ask for clues if we got really stuck. The fun of escape rooms is working through the puzzles as a group and getting satisfaction when you have to think hard and eventually solve it. I hope if deppy ever film one of these (please boys!), they choose a room more similar to the ones I've done. I want to see them work out the puzzles together and have to really use their heads and figure stuff out.
I hope if they did ever do one for a video, they would choose a different place than this one though. This was nothing like the escape rooms I've done myself. I don't know about anyone else, but I've never had someone in the room guiding me through all the clues. The most I've had is the opportunity to speak through a walkie-talkie to ask for clues if we got really stuck. The fun of escape rooms is working through the puzzles as a group and getting satisfaction when you have to think hard and eventually solve it. I hope if deppy ever film one of these (please boys!), they choose a room more similar to the ones I've done. I want to see them work out the puzzles together and have to really use their heads and figure stuff out.
Hello everybody!
After all that happened this few days, I for one hope that Dan hasn't spent too much time reading all the drama (here or outside). If he is having a depressive episode, all this negativity could really worsen his state...
He did f*ck up with his comment, for me more in the way he said it than in what he said. It was his right to say that he was upset seeing people talk more about the d*ck joke than the meaning of the video. But there was absolutely no need to show the a** video or overexplaining anything.
I understand people being upset (because we thought he was being more open), or even angry (because of his tone). But I really don't undestand people feeling guilty or ashamed. The audience did nothing wrong, the joke was there, people undestand it that way, and it's nothing to feel ashamed of. Even Dan said that he wasn't shaming anyone.
I hope everything will turn to normal soon, because now it's like everything he does (or doesn't) is awful. Yes he needs to improve his communication, but I don't think he deserves all the harsh comments he's getting since Tuesday.
On Phil's video: I liked it and I don't care if it's damage control. He clearly was trying to normalize things and that's OK. (And him trying to cheer Dan up was cute and proves how much he cares about him).
On Dan's main channel: I usually like his content (except for the ISG videos) and think is good job. My faves are the story videos (like the Bahamas one or the Nearly blinded myself ). And I loved the Depression one, very relatable and well made. But I think it's really difficult for him to make videos for his channel, because of his "quality threshold" and his insecurities. And I feel that's the reason he posts only once a month or less. Perhaps it would be good for him to take a break from his channel, or to do only story videos for a while, or even do less demanding content for danisnotinteresting... I don't know, I guess it'd be better if he made things he really enjoyed and not things that are a pain in the a**.
After all that happened this few days, I for one hope that Dan hasn't spent too much time reading all the drama (here or outside). If he is having a depressive episode, all this negativity could really worsen his state...
He did f*ck up with his comment, for me more in the way he said it than in what he said. It was his right to say that he was upset seeing people talk more about the d*ck joke than the meaning of the video. But there was absolutely no need to show the a** video or overexplaining anything.
I understand people being upset (because we thought he was being more open), or even angry (because of his tone). But I really don't undestand people feeling guilty or ashamed. The audience did nothing wrong, the joke was there, people undestand it that way, and it's nothing to feel ashamed of. Even Dan said that he wasn't shaming anyone.
I hope everything will turn to normal soon, because now it's like everything he does (or doesn't) is awful. Yes he needs to improve his communication, but I don't think he deserves all the harsh comments he's getting since Tuesday.
On Phil's video: I liked it and I don't care if it's damage control. He clearly was trying to normalize things and that's OK. (And him trying to cheer Dan up was cute and proves how much he cares about him).
On Dan's main channel: I usually like his content (except for the ISG videos) and think is good job. My faves are the story videos (like the Bahamas one or the Nearly blinded myself ). And I loved the Depression one, very relatable and well made. But I think it's really difficult for him to make videos for his channel, because of his "quality threshold" and his insecurities. And I feel that's the reason he posts only once a month or less. Perhaps it would be good for him to take a break from his channel, or to do only story videos for a while, or even do less demanding content for danisnotinteresting... I don't know, I guess it'd be better if he made things he really enjoyed and not things that are a pain in the a**.
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flarequake
- not an airport stalker
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I'm not a man and I'm aware a lot of men have a lot of privilege and either don't realise, don't want to know when they're told, or do and are afraid to say much. Like anyone else, their fears are valid. There'll always be bigger issues than one person's feelings, but I often see that used to dismiss what people care about. I've spent too long letting fear hold me back and "suck it up" is an awful thing to hear.captainspacecoat wrote: Thu Mar 08, 2018 11:36 pm I don't have a great deal of sympathy toward men who are too afraid to mention the day for fear of saying the wrong thing as I think they should just suck it up and get over it as there are bigger issues at hand, so one tweet doesn't make too much of a difference to me personally.
On the many mentions of, and I'm paraphrasing here, "as long as Dan's doing his job". And what if he doesn't? I could argue that the only thing we can expect from him and Phil is what we've paid for, eg merch or tour tickets. There's more to the relationship than that, but I think the reaction would be more understanding if Dan told us he'd decided to take a complete break. I'm also aware plenty of people in the world deal with similar, or worse, and in different circumstances.
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captainspacecoat
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phillyforgot
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In case anyone's interested, there's a hashtag #welovedan going around on Twitter. People are posting the little things they appreciate about Dan.
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flarequake
- not an airport stalker
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alittledizzy
- actual demon phannie
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Yeesh, took a scroll through that and there are lots of really nice tweets but a good chunk of them just seem like people being passive-aggressive at anyone who has been upset or frustrated. Can someone tell these people fandom Olympics don't really exist? You can't actually get a gold medal for being the Best and Most Pure Fan who Never Complains and Always Support No Matter What Unlike Those Other Bad People.phillyforgot wrote: Fri Mar 09, 2018 10:45 am In case anyone's interested, there's a hashtag #welovedan going around on Twitter. People are posting the little things they appreciate about Dan.
I'd also question the value in people telling Dan they love him because of how attractive he is. Not that people don't have the right to like him for whatever reason, but in the face of Dan wanting people to hear his deep, intellectual message and value his high quality content over everything else, people essentially going "Well I love you because I want to fuck you" probably isn't as comforting as these people think it would be.
For me, I very much enjoyed Dans' find your truth/happiness video. I like people who use themselves as props to forward a positive message, without taking over it by being too specific and so leaving room for others (viewers) to take steps to make it personal for themselves. Give me a map and I'll take my route where I need to go. Now Dans video had both humour and gravity. To not deny sex as something he enjoys is brave, I think he also didn't want to make sex as a human need/desire too 'serious' and so he added jokes to downplay his words, to me that is understandable, he has many young viewers and though I believe talking about sex should not be discouraged or in any way shamed, Dan didn't want to place too heavy an emphasis on his sex life, and thus the "in and out of my mouth" jokes. I didn't think the jokes were a big deal, basic humour. Due to timezones, whenever deppy post, there are already a lot of opinions to read, and to be honest I (and pls note, just my feelings) was annoyed at how plentiful the reaction to his bj jokes were. Dan talked about alot of regrets he has come to realize and offered some thoughts he's had about how to deal with them. Now, not a single comment was unsupportive, judgemental or hostile. All these reactions were earnest, excited, and encouraging, people were happy for Dan and for themselves to have a connection. Any put-out-edness I felt was purely at the extreme focus on just the sex part of the entire video. But the emotion on the forum was true and happy and so very positive, quite beautiful to read.
The live show. "People are allowed to have their own enjoyments of things. If some people want to talk about the intense stuff, and some people just wanna talk about the funny stuff, and some of the people just want to talk about penises, I'm literally not shaming anybody, you know what I mean..it's..I accept it. I wouldn't have made the joke". (quote from ls at 11:35) I don't think he sounded at all defensive, I didn't feel any backtracking or denials of unnamed sexual orientation. I think Dan felt annoyed that a big deal was made of the sex comments/jokes, that were only meant as fodder, other posters have mentioned that he felt off-hand comments eclipsed the point he wanted to make, and that once again his sexuality was the focus, not him, and I agree. This comes to play when he takes himself too seriously, and does not see the positive support that is rampant in these discussions. The response and feedback to his happiness/truth video was perhaps not as he wanted, but changing narrative is hard, and in this case having that prepared unedited clip to show everyone was an unsuccessul attempt to realign the audience. I think he wanted the attention on his video, not his sexuality and lashed out his disappointment. But, he's human, not without missteps but should be held responsible for his words and actions, and though I don't think he wanted to chastise his audience, the end result of showing the clip and his need to prove his point felt a little manipulative and immature. Dans' video was about facing yourself without lies and taking steps to happiness. For some, acceptance of ones' own sexuality, coming out, just living your life is that very point Dan made in his video. Those responses to the bj comments/jokes that Dan perhaps felt took away from his "seeking truth" were in fact others' steps to get there. I think that sometimes Dan forgets if he wants dialogue with his audience or not, discourse may bring about focus on bj's, even if you didn't want it that way, but if Dan isn't interested in just talking at us he shouldn't try to mold the conversation, at least not when it comes to eating penis or eating ass. (I keep saying bj, eventhough technically his in and out could be whatever sort of genital, but my thoughts went to bj's when he said them).
ps- a huge (and very belated) thanks to the organizers of the birthday fundraisers. It is wonderful.
pps- as an asexual, I just want to add that ofcourse sex is not need/want for all humans, but in the context of Dans' video, that's what he said.
The live show. "People are allowed to have their own enjoyments of things. If some people want to talk about the intense stuff, and some people just wanna talk about the funny stuff, and some of the people just want to talk about penises, I'm literally not shaming anybody, you know what I mean..it's..I accept it. I wouldn't have made the joke". (quote from ls at 11:35) I don't think he sounded at all defensive, I didn't feel any backtracking or denials of unnamed sexual orientation. I think Dan felt annoyed that a big deal was made of the sex comments/jokes, that were only meant as fodder, other posters have mentioned that he felt off-hand comments eclipsed the point he wanted to make, and that once again his sexuality was the focus, not him, and I agree. This comes to play when he takes himself too seriously, and does not see the positive support that is rampant in these discussions. The response and feedback to his happiness/truth video was perhaps not as he wanted, but changing narrative is hard, and in this case having that prepared unedited clip to show everyone was an unsuccessul attempt to realign the audience. I think he wanted the attention on his video, not his sexuality and lashed out his disappointment. But, he's human, not without missteps but should be held responsible for his words and actions, and though I don't think he wanted to chastise his audience, the end result of showing the clip and his need to prove his point felt a little manipulative and immature. Dans' video was about facing yourself without lies and taking steps to happiness. For some, acceptance of ones' own sexuality, coming out, just living your life is that very point Dan made in his video. Those responses to the bj comments/jokes that Dan perhaps felt took away from his "seeking truth" were in fact others' steps to get there. I think that sometimes Dan forgets if he wants dialogue with his audience or not, discourse may bring about focus on bj's, even if you didn't want it that way, but if Dan isn't interested in just talking at us he shouldn't try to mold the conversation, at least not when it comes to eating penis or eating ass. (I keep saying bj, eventhough technically his in and out could be whatever sort of genital, but my thoughts went to bj's when he said them).
ps- a huge (and very belated) thanks to the organizers of the birthday fundraisers. It is wonderful.
pps- as an asexual, I just want to add that ofcourse sex is not need/want for all humans, but in the context of Dans' video, that's what he said.
I understand why people were upset by what dan said and I think it’s fine for fans to have criticism (healthy even), but I also feel bad for Dan. I feel bad for him because he obviously struggles with his sexuality (I think we can all agree about that but sorry if you don’t), made a video that maybe went too far, had a freak out on YouNow, and has thousands of people mad at him or disappointed in him now. That’s got to suck. I know it’s his job and he’s an adult and whatever. But I still feel bad for him. I hope he’s alright (as I’m sure almost everyone does).
I liked his video for more than sex jokes. I don’t think that makes me a better fan by any means, I just genuinely did. I don’t think it’s fair to say it was a universally lacklustre video without the sexual jokes because some people did like it for reasons more than that. Different strokes for different folks.
Re: memeing of life
I didn’t like it because I didn’t think it made sense and I thought it was poorly structured/badly paced. Just not a good video for me. It’s funny because when he talked about it on YouNow afterwards, it made so much more sense.
Re: #welovedan
I liked his video for more than sex jokes. I don’t think that makes me a better fan by any means, I just genuinely did. I don’t think it’s fair to say it was a universally lacklustre video without the sexual jokes because some people did like it for reasons more than that. Different strokes for different folks.
Re: memeing of life
I didn’t like it because I didn’t think it made sense and I thought it was poorly structured/badly paced. Just not a good video for me. It’s funny because when he talked about it on YouNow afterwards, it made so much more sense.
Re: #welovedan
(Bold is mine). That’s what I thought too.alittledizzy wrote: Fri Mar 09, 2018 2:15 pm Yeesh, took a scroll through that and there are lots of really nice tweets but a good chunk of them just seem like people being passive-aggressive at anyone who has been upset or frustrated. Can someone tell these people fandom Olympics don't really exist? You can't actually get a gold medal for being the Best and Most Pure Fan who Never Complains and Always Support No Matter What Unlike Those Other Bad People.
I'd also question the value in people telling Dan they love him because of how attractive he is. Not that people don't have the right to like him for whatever reason, but in the face of Dan wanting people to hear his deep, intellectual message and value his high quality content over everything else, people essentially going "Well I love you because I want to fuck you" probably isn't as comforting as these people think it would be.
I'm having a stress.
mte, especially to the first part. It's cool that they wanna let Dan know he's loved, but most of the people upset and angry at him love him too. Otherwise they wouldn't have that reaction to what happened. They're not the haters that hashtag is now portraying them to be and it's really upsetting to see that. The way fandom culture only values fans who never speak a word against their faves is toxic, and while intentions may have been good I'm really not feeling that hashtag.alittledizzy wrote: Fri Mar 09, 2018 2:15 pmYeesh, took a scroll through that and there are lots of really nice tweets but a good chunk of them just seem like people being passive-aggressive at anyone who has been upset or frustrated. Can someone tell these people fandom Olympics don't really exist? You can't actually get a gold medal for being the Best and Most Pure Fan who Never Complains and Always Support No Matter What Unlike Those Other Bad People.phillyforgot wrote: Fri Mar 09, 2018 10:45 am In case anyone's interested, there's a hashtag #welovedan going around on Twitter. People are posting the little things they appreciate about Dan.
I'd also question the value in people telling Dan they love him because of how attractive he is. Not that people don't have the right to like him for whatever reason, but in the face of Dan wanting people to hear his deep, intellectual message and value his high quality content over everything else, people essentially going "Well I love you because I want to fuck you" probably isn't as comforting as these people think it would be.
If Dan happens to see it, I hope it doesn't strengthen any belief he might have that his audience just ~doesn't understand~ his 'deep' side because we only care about dick jokes and that his intellectually is lost on us or something. Instead I hope that people do still love and support him, but that they were hurt by his words and that he could work on that in the future. And that, just like him, they may need some time.
Basically, I feel for everyone and that includes Dan because I hope he's alright but I do hope he takes time to reflect a bit.
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lefthandedism
- simply stressed bisexual
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I love everything about this very wise post!teamug wrote: Fri Mar 09, 2018 3:25 pm For me, I very much enjoyed Dans' find your truth/happiness video. I like people who use themselves as props to forward a positive message, without taking over it by being too specific and so leaving room for others (viewers) to take steps to make it personal for themselves. Give me a map and I'll take my route where I need to go. Now Dans video had both humour and gravity. To not deny sex as something he enjoys is brave, I think he also didn't want to make sex as a human need/desire too 'serious' and so he added jokes to downplay his words, to me that is understandable, he has many young viewers and though I believe talking about sex should not be discouraged or in any way shamed, Dan didn't want to place too heavy an emphasis on his sex life, and thus the "in and out of my mouth" jokes. I didn't think the jokes were a big deal, basic humour. Due to timezones, whenever deppy post, there are already a lot of opinions to read, and to be honest I (and pls note, just my feelings) was annoyed at how plentiful the reaction to his bj jokes were. Dan talked about alot of regrets he has come to realize and offered some thoughts he's had about how to deal with them. Now, not a single comment was unsupportive, judgemental or hostile. All these reactions were earnest, excited, and encouraging, people were happy for Dan and for themselves to have a connection. Any put-out-edness I felt was purely at the extreme focus on just the sex part of the entire video. But the emotion on the forum was true and happy and so very positive, quite beautiful to read.
The live show. "People are allowed to have their own enjoyments of things. If some people want to talk about the intense stuff, and some people just wanna talk about the funny stuff, and some of the people just want to talk about penises, I'm literally not shaming anybody, you know what I mean..it's..I accept it. I wouldn't have made the joke". (quote from ls at 11:35) I don't think he sounded at all defensive, I didn't feel any backtracking or denials of unnamed sexual orientation. I think Dan felt annoyed that a big deal was made of the sex comments/jokes, that were only meant as fodder, other posters have mentioned that he felt off-hand comments eclipsed the point he wanted to make, and that once again his sexuality was the focus, not him, and I agree. This comes to play when he takes himself too seriously, and does not see the positive support that is rampant in these discussions. The response and feedback to his happiness/truth video was perhaps not as he wanted, but changing narrative is hard, and in this case having that prepared unedited clip to show everyone was an unsuccessul attempt to realign the audience. I think he wanted the attention on his video, not his sexuality and lashed out his disappointment. But, he's human, not without missteps but should be held responsible for his words and actions, and though I don't think he wanted to chastise his audience, the end result of showing the clip and his need to prove his point felt a little manipulative and immature. Dans' video was about facing yourself without lies and taking steps to happiness. For some, acceptance of ones' own sexuality, coming out, just living your life is that very point Dan made in his video. Those responses to the bj comments/jokes that Dan perhaps felt took away from his "seeking truth" were in fact others' steps to get there. I think that sometimes Dan forgets if he wants dialogue with his audience or not, discourse may bring about focus on bj's, even if you didn't want it that way, but if Dan isn't interested in just talking at us he shouldn't try to mold the conversation, at least not when it comes to eating penis or eating ass. (I keep saying bj, eventhough technically his in and out could be whatever sort of genital, but my thoughts went to bj's when he said them).
ps- a huge (and very belated) thanks to the organizers of the birthday fundraisers. It is wonderful.
pps- as an asexual, I just want to add that ofcourse sex is not need/want for all humans, but in the context of Dans' video, that's what he said.
I think you make a very good point about Dan only using sex as an example of what makes him feel good, one among several (in fact a series of three, which people tend to like and turn into titles and things). And then he got mad that people focused on the one example, not on the collection of activites as a whole or what they meant to him or how that fit into the overall scheme of what he was trying to say. But, as you say, for many people the example has larger--or different--importance, and he doesn't really get to control the messages others take away. It seems rather tone deaf for him not to realize that sexual orientation is something so much of his audience would latch onto, when maybe he thought (hoped) everyone had somehow gotten past that. I actually think that his saying he was having sex (regardless of body parts involved but assuredly with body parts belonging to someone else) was by far the more interesting message, and maybe he did too. He told us something new by saying he has a sex life; he also said having a sex life can be an important and positive thing for helping some people feel better amid their struggles.
"If you're left-handed, ask a friend."
"Why am I left-handed?"
"Everybody makes mistakes."
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greenergrass
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I disagree that dan struggles with his sexuality. I think he struggles with what he wants to share with his audience about his sexuality, but not his sexuality itself.Grey wrote: Fri Mar 09, 2018 3:45 pm I understand why people were upset by what dan said and I think it’s fine for fans to have criticism (healthy even), but I also feel bad for Dan. I feel bad for him because he obviously struggles with his sexuality (I think we can all agree about that but sorry if you don’t)
I think that has to go both ways. He can’t control what messages others take away, but by the same token we can’t control what message we want him to be putting out. Everybody can focus on specific parts of what he says all they want (as he himself plainly said) but the second you try to make what he said into something else because it would mean more to you if that’s what it was (yeah I’m really not letting go of the “he admitted to liking blowjobs” = “he just ~came ~out” or even “he’s telling us about his and Phil’s sex life and that’s the only part that matters, period”). Like I don’t fully get what people feel “hurt” by in this whole situation. Annoyed, sure. Exasperated, ok. But “hurt”? Because Dan decided letting everybody cling to one line to use to define him in a way he wasn’t comfortable with (and only fully realized after the fact of putting it out there, whoops) was bothering him more than just letting it rest? Like I don’t think it was that he felt “mad” about people focusing on that one part above all, but more backed into a corner by the way in which they focused on it (by framing it as “proof” of things -that didn’t need the additional “proof” of sexual activity to begin withlefthandedism wrote: Fri Mar 09, 2018 5:10 pm I love everything about this very wise post!
It seems rather tone deaf for him not to realize that sexual orientation is something so much of his audience would latch onto, when maybe he thought (hoped) everyone had somehow gotten past that. I actually think that his saying he was having sex (regardless of body parts involved but assuredly with body parts belonging to someone else) was by far the more interesting message, and maybe he did too. He told us something new by saying he has a sex life; he also said having a sex life can be an important and positive thing for helping some people feel better amid their struggles.
- or a larger/more specific admission (phanphanphan) beyond ‘hey I enjoy some dick’)I’m finding it difficult to be sympathetic to the idea that what you want a person to say or do as it pertains to their own life is more important than what they’re actually comfortable with for themselves.
Thanks and have a great day! Oil me
Right yes that’s kind of what I mean I think. I obviously don’t know what’s going on in his mind so my impression comes from his behaviour on social media over the years.whatdoiknow wrote: Fri Mar 09, 2018 5:15 pmI disagree that dan struggles with his sexuality. I think he struggles with what he wants to share with his audience about his sexuality, but not his sexuality itself.Grey wrote: Fri Mar 09, 2018 3:45 pm I understand why people were upset by what dan said and I think it’s fine for fans to have criticism (healthy even), but I also feel bad for Dan. I feel bad for him because he obviously struggles with his sexuality (I think we can all agree about that but sorry if you don’t)
I'm having a stress.
The sort of tension the last couple of days was really off the charts. Usually people are normally divisive on the issue but I feel that most people here are rather annoyed over what has happened, in one way or another. Do people actually think that everyone will collectively move past this, or are some people really fed up and this will follow the phandom for some time? Will Dan actually self reflect on his actions and learn from his mistakes or pretend that nothing has happened? It's all well and good then many people say they love Dan and devote so much time to try to build him and phandom up, but it's very much a one way thing where he certain doesn't think very highly of those people in return. The hashtag is just kind of sad, I don't even want to go through it, it just feels so desperate.
Last edited by 000dia000 on Fri Mar 09, 2018 6:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.
^^ agree, it irks me a bit when people insist that he's insecure or ashamed and struggling with his sexuality.whatdoiknow wrote: Fri Mar 09, 2018 5:15 pmI disagree that dan struggles with his sexuality. I think he struggles with what he wants to share with his audience about his sexuality, but not his sexuality itself.Grey wrote: Fri Mar 09, 2018 3:45 pm I understand why people were upset by what dan said and I think it’s fine for fans to have criticism (healthy even), but I also feel bad for Dan. I feel bad for him because he obviously struggles with his sexuality (I think we can all agree about that but sorry if you don’t)
like, Dan has said way back to 10 years ago online that he's not straight. he was open about it until he got more and more popular, the only thing he has a problem with is his personal life and sharing it with his audience.
and that's fine, we aren't entitled to anything!!
and as someone who believes that DnP are in a relationship, it makes me giggle a bit when people think hes JUST figuring out what his sexuality is and stayed single for 8 years because of it.
(not laughing at people who believe this, I don't think I'm above anyone whatsoever just bc of my opinion on their relationship! it's just a funny idea to me.)
edit: nvm OP rephrased what they said, sorry if i sounded rude! ignore me.
me irl-
alittledizzy
- actual demon phannie
- Posts: 7106
- Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 3:09 pm
- Pronouns: she/her
I do think people will collectively move past this, as long as Dan's tone doesn't carry. The longer he acts defensive and deflective about things (in the sense of like, doing a video and blaming every shirtless man on his feed ~on the audience) the further the shadow of that livestream will cast but I give that another week or two, tops. He'll bounce back, his mood/mental health/etc will recover, he'll have something he wants to tell us about that's exciting. Tour stuff or Easter baking or a cute selfie. Hopefully everyone's just collectively lowered that pedestal of enlightenment I think a lot of us had him on and we understand that he's still the same guy who just doesn't fucking know how to handle his audience sometimes and probably doesn't even want to.000dia000 wrote: Fri Mar 09, 2018 6:01 pm The sort of tension the last couple of days was really off the charts. Usually people are normally divisive on the issue but I feel that most people here are rather annoyed over what has happened, in one way or another. Do people actually think that everyone will collectively move past this, or are some people really fed up and this will follow the phandom for some time? Will Dan actually self reflect on his actions and learn from his mistakes or pretend that nothing has happened? It's all well and good then many people say they love Dan and devote so much time to try to build him and phandom up, but it's very much a one way thing where he certain doesn't think very highly of those people in return. The hashtag is just kind of sad, I don't even want to go through it, it just feels so desperate.
the only thing i am upset about is Dan thinking everyone just talked about the sex joke, but in reality, a lot of people (including myself) has sent him messages and made posts congratulating him for taking this brave step to talk about personal stuff and live his truth. i think he tends to take the negative comments to heart and he wanted to do the liveshow to shift the focus from the jokes he made. this video was important to him, but i think he just obsessed over what everyone thought. i gave myself a few days to think about it and I'm starting to understand somewhat where he's coming from. the only bad vibe I'm getting is the internalized thought of him looking down upon us as immature, which i think that idea stems from his passive aggressiveness. i just want him to trust us, that's all. but it is pretty difficult to trust millions of people.000dia000 wrote: Fri Mar 09, 2018 6:01 pm The sort of tension the last couple of days was really off the charts. Usually people are normally divisive on the issue but I feel that most people here are rather annoyed over what has happened, in one way or another. Do people actually think that everyone will collectively move past this, or are some people really fed up and this will follow the phandom for some time? Will Dan actually self reflect on his actions and learn from his mistakes or pretend that nothing has happened? It's all well and good then many people say they love Dan and devote so much time to try to build him and phandom up, but it's very much a one way thing where he certain doesn't think very highly of those people in return. The hashtag is just kind of sad, I don't even want to go through it, it just feels so desperate.
me irlugh, i literally cannot stop thinking about easter baking )): I can't believe they invented baking on YouTube.alittledizzy wrote: Fri Mar 09, 2018 6:08 pmI do think people will collectively move past this, as long as Dan's tone doesn't carry. The longer he acts defensive and deflective about things (in the sense of like, doing a video and blaming every shirtless man on his feed ~on the audience) the further the shadow of that livestream will cast but I give that another week or two, tops. He'll bounce back, his mood/mental health/etc will recover, he'll have something he wants to tell us about that's exciting. Tour stuff or Easter baking or a cute selfie. Hopefully everyone's just collectively lowered that pedestal of enlightenment I think a lot of us had him on and we understand that he's still the same guy who just doesn't fucking know how to handle his audience sometimes and probably doesn't even want to.000dia000 wrote: Fri Mar 09, 2018 6:01 pm The sort of tension the last couple of days was really off the charts. Usually people are normally divisive on the issue but I feel that most people here are rather annoyed over what has happened, in one way or another. Do people actually think that everyone will collectively move past this, or are some people really fed up and this will follow the phandom for some time? Will Dan actually self reflect on his actions and learn from his mistakes or pretend that nothing has happened? It's all well and good then many people say they love Dan and devote so much time to try to build him and phandom up, but it's very much a one way thing where he certain doesn't think very highly of those people in return. The hashtag is just kind of sad, I don't even want to go through it, it just feels so desperate.
but i hope they don't back off from being touchy or domestic on camera because of everything... that would be a punch in the ass.
me irl
I think some people will move past this, I will eventually. The thing is now I'm more aware of how Dan speaks about his audience and may view things slightly differently now. I needed my time to vent and just be upset with Dan, and this forum was helpful for this, but there will be cute gaming videos, nice selfies, and tour starting in 50 days that will no doubt be enjoyable. I was reading through a few posts on tumblr of people that said they will now only watch dapg and phil's videos/liveshows because they no longer want their emotions to be dependent on if dan is in a good mood that day or not. So I think people will adjust and some realized how they can stay here while also caring for themselves. Like anything it just takes time to move past all of this.000dia000 wrote: Fri Mar 09, 2018 6:01 pm The sort of tension the last couple of days was really off the charts. Usually people are normally divisive on the issue but I feel that most people here are rather annoyed over what has happened, in one way or another. Do people actually think that everyone will collectively move past this, or are some people really fed up and this will follow the phandom for some time? Will Dan actually self reflect on his actions and learn from his mistakes or pretend that nothing has happened? It's all well and good then many people say they love Dan and devote so much time to try to build him and phandom up, but it's very much a one way thing where he certain doesn't think very highly of those people in return. The hashtag is just kind of sad, I don't even want to go through it, it just feels so desperate.
As for dan realizing his mistakes, I would hope that he knows he messed but based on past instances, we can't know for sure. I think this may be the first time that he upset people to this extent, I've only been in the phandom since March, but in the past he never really changed in how he speaks about his audience. I definitely don't see dan addressing this but hopefully he will change in the way he communicates with us.
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Secretstanner
- truth bomb
- Posts: 348
- Joined: Tue Oct 31, 2017 1:42 am
100% AGREE I believe dan knows and has accepted who he is and it’s not that he struggles with his own personal sexuality which I see a lot of people talk about.whatdoiknow wrote: Fri Mar 09, 2018 5:15 pmI disagree that dan struggles with his sexuality. I think he struggles with what he wants to share with his audience about his sexuality, but not his sexuality itself.Grey wrote: Fri Mar 09, 2018 3:45 pm I understand why people were upset by what dan said and I think it’s fine for fans to have criticism (healthy even), but I also feel bad for Dan. I feel bad for him because he obviously struggles with his sexuality (I think we can all agree about that but sorry if you don’t)
I just realized that Easter and April fools day land on the same day this year...hmmm lolalittledizzy wrote: Fri Mar 09, 2018 6:08 pmI do think people will collectively move past this, as long as Dan's tone doesn't carry. The longer he acts defensive and deflective about things (in the sense of like, doing a video and blaming every shirtless man on his feed ~on the audience) the further the shadow of that livestream will cast but I give that another week or two, tops. He'll bounce back, his mood/mental health/etc will recover, he'll have something he wants to tell us about that's exciting. Tour stuff or Easter baking or a cute selfie. Hopefully everyone's just collectively lowered that pedestal of enlightenment I think a lot of us had him on and we understand that he's still the same guy who just doesn't fucking know how to handle his audience sometimes and probably doesn't even want to.000dia000 wrote: Fri Mar 09, 2018 6:01 pm The sort of tension the last couple of days was really off the charts. Usually people are normally divisive on the issue but I feel that most people here are rather annoyed over what has happened, in one way or another. Do people actually think that everyone will collectively move past this, or are some people really fed up and this will follow the phandom for some time? Will Dan actually self reflect on his actions and learn from his mistakes or pretend that nothing has happened? It's all well and good then many people say they love Dan and devote so much time to try to build him and phandom up, but it's very much a one way thing where he certain doesn't think very highly of those people in return. The hashtag is just kind of sad, I don't even want to go through it, it just feels so desperate.