Dan & Phil Part 2: lol bye gg

[oqua]

Moderator Action :

Hey everyone,

Regarding the discussion of Dan's brother: Talking/theorizing about him is fine, so long as you don't reveal any of his person information (such as his location) and don't link directly to any of his social media accounts. (In accordance with Forum Rule 2). In light of this I have edited some of the previous posts to remove certain pieces of info. Feel free to carry on the discussion though, as long as it doesn't get too personal. Thanks!

[fancy_nancy]

This is a little off-topic, as my posts are usually.

I didn't want to go look through old GG forums but I was genuinely curious about Adrian Howell. I know he deleted his tumblr a while ago apparently, but I went looking for facebook profiles, and found one that looked kind of like the old pictures of Adrian. I don't really want to link it here, but it says he lives in [location removed] and studies film at a college. All I know is that the pictures really look like him, but the rest of his profie is private. I know the gist of what happened with him, and I just wish he had open profiles now that he's older. Oh, well.

Now that he is older... I'm older and I don't have my fb profile open. Is for privacy.

haha yeah, I suppose I just mean that I wish they felt more open, like Phil's family, but I guess I'm asking for too much. It just seemed to be that the problem earlier was that Adrian was too young to be that open on the internet.
It would be so cool if the three of them did a video. Blegh, now I'm just daydreaming. Poor Adrian.

Tbh I think I find it more suprising that he hasn't made his whole profile private. There are still some things you can see that provide us/the phandom with information. Personally, I have my whole account on private and I don't even have a famous brother. :mrgreen: I guess ideally it would be nice if Dan was able (and wanted to ofc) make a video with his brother but I don't think it will ever happen..

a video with his brother would be nice but it must be horrible being related to someone famous, right?? i mean how embarassing would it be having someone google your name and every result is phandom stuff. Even Dans ex, the first suggestion to come up when you google her name is dan howell yikes i'd be so angry ....

[bluebox-away]

This is a little off-topic, as my posts are usually.

I didn't want to go look through old GG forums but I was genuinely curious about Adrian Howell. I know he deleted his tumblr a while ago apparently, but I went looking for facebook profiles, and found one that looked kind of like the old pictures of Adrian. I don't really want to link it here, but it says he lives in [location removed] and studies film at a college. All I know is that the pictures really look like him, but the rest of his profie is private. I know the gist of what happened with him, and I just wish he had open profiles now that he's older. Oh, well.

Hmm so I just looked up this profile and if it's legit, which it does look, then Dan's brother goes to the same school as my cousin?

The college isn't particularly near the Reading area (where Dan says he's from) though so seems a bit off..

[yupitsme]

This is a little off-topic, as my posts are usually.

I didn't want to go look through old GG forums but I was genuinely curious about Adrian Howell. I know he deleted his tumblr a while ago apparently, but I went looking for facebook profiles, and found one that looked kind of like the old pictures of Adrian. I don't really want to link it here, but it says he lives in [location removed] and studies film at a college. All I know is that the pictures really look like him, but the rest of his profie is private. I know the gist of what happened with him, and I just wish he had open profiles now that he's older. Oh, well.

Now that he is older... I'm older and I don't have my fb profile open. Is for privacy.

haha yeah, I suppose I just mean that I wish they felt more open, like Phil's family, but I guess I'm asking for too much. It just seemed to be that the problem earlier was that Adrian was too young to be that open on the internet.
It would be so cool if the three of them did a video. Blegh, now I'm just daydreaming. Poor Adrian.

Tbh I think I find it more suprising that he hasn't made his whole profile private. There are still some things you can see that provide us/the phandom with information. Personally, I have my whole account on private and I don't even have a famous brother. :mrgreen: I guess ideally it would be nice if Dan was able (and wanted to ofc) make a video with his brother but I don't think it will ever happen..

a video with his brother would be nice but it must be horrible being related to someone famous, right?? i mean how embarassing would it be having someone google your name and every result is phandom stuff. Even Dans ex, the first suggestion to come up when you google her name is dan howell yikes i'd be so angry ....

I know! Just applying for a job and knowing that your future employee might see that is kinda weird and embarrassing.. I wonder if Dan/Phil sometimes feel almost guilty for getting so famous (although maybe not on purpose) since it affects those closest to them as well.

[christyimnotred]

sometimes I'm a bit surprised to see the comments on phan - not over their bond, of course, which i agree comes across closer to obsessive best friends with giddy sexual chemistry than the typical long-term couple vibe. but moreso the time thing. it might just be my age? (late 20s) - but i personally know 2 couples who have been together 6-8 years and still spend every day together, have a healthy sex life (tmi) and adore one another (one gay, one het); and my sister and brother-in-law have a similarly close marriage and have been together since they were 16 (are now 35).

6 years...in the scheme of things really isn't that long. nor is their closeness or compatibility hugely uncommon. i think what is more uncommon about them is the health of their bond in the face of some heavy shit. being in the public eye and the subject of an obsessive fanbase, not anonymous joes with regular jobs, and closeted to boot. also a seemingly small support group. that is impressive, to me. to weather storms magnified 10 fold by their circumstances, and still be on one another's side.

totally agree with this theory that Phil flirts or is inappropriate overtly sometimes to overcompensate nerves, both with Dan and with others. alittledizzy what you said about Phil being worried he wouldn't be appealing out of his 5 minute snippets is perfect. people overlook that when thinking about them starting out.

I don't know. I'm pretty old, I've been married for 23 years and I know a lot of couples. And I only know 1 that has the closeness that have. Most couples I know like each other fine but aren't best friends, inseparable, always want to be together. I think it is very rare to find a relationship like that and I hope they know how special what they have is. I've never had anyone in my life I could have 5 hour Skype conversations with, not even my sister who is the closest person to me. Even when they are at parties they are side by side. What in the world do they find to talk about all the time? Don't they get tired of each other? When my husband and I go to a party, I ditch him as soon as possible. We spend enough time together, let me talk to someone else!

[ayane]

dan the man with the plan

I was listening to that stream of consciousness thing from TAABINOF last night and can I just say that it contributed to my growing appreciation for him.

Well, that and it got the onion guy from parappa song stuck in my head.

The stream of consciousness pages of TABINOF were some of my favorite pages. I quite enjoyed the random run-on thoughts. And it really does show how some of the strange associations phil has in his head.

[coffee pig]

haha yeah, I suppose I just mean that I wish they felt more open, like Phil's family, but I guess I'm asking for too much. It just seemed to be that the problem earlier was that Adrian was too young to be that open on the internet.
It would be so cool if the three of them did a video. Blegh, now I'm just daydreaming. Poor Adrian.

I also think that the difference here is that Phil's family is very close and has always been supportive of Phil's YouTube career, while Dan's family....I think Dan probably does exaggerate it sometimes, but they definitely aren't as close as Phil's. Dan has mentioned before that his parents don't even watch his videos, and I believe him. I think it wouldn't cross their minds to want to appear on his channel because they don't seem to take particular interest. I'm guessing that Adrian wants to be his own person, particularly if he's interested in doing film....I wouldn't want to be accused of getting exposure through being 'danisnotonfire's little brother.'

[Aurdie]

sometimes I'm a bit surprised to see the comments on phan - not over their bond, of course, which i agree comes across closer to obsessive best friends with giddy sexual chemistry than the typical long-term couple vibe. but moreso the time thing. it might just be my age? (late 20s) - but i personally know 2 couples who have been together 6-8 years and still spend every day together, have a healthy sex life (tmi) and adore one another (one gay, one het); and my sister and brother-in-law have a similarly close marriage and have been together since they were 16 (are now 35).

I don't know. I'm pretty old, I've been married for 23 years and I know a lot of couples. And I only know 1 that has the closeness that have. Most couples I know like each other fine but aren't best friends, inseparable, always want to be together. I think it is very rare to find a relationship like that and I hope they know how special what they have is. I've never had anyone in my life I could have 5 hour Skype conversations with, not even my sister who is the closest person to me. Even when they are at parties they are side by side. What in the world do they find to talk about all the time? Don't they get tired of each other? When my husband and I go to a party, I ditch him as soon as possible. We spend enough time together, let me talk to someone else!

Have to agree with you - I met my husband when I was 19 & we've been married for 25 years, and even when we were in newly together, although we loved each other's company, we were never inseparable like D & P seem to be. We worked together for quite a while, and once the work day was done, we needed some time alone with our respective friends...I think people often get worried that they'll "lose themselves" if they almost exclusively engage only with each other. I'd say very few couples that I know, who've lasted long term, have been that wrapped around each other. I've known couples that were always by one another's sides, but I have to say that the relationship rarely lasted long. OTOH, it may well be that D&P DID want to lose themselves in each other, due to the nature of their work, or other situations in their life. So, I'd have to agree that what D&P have together seems to be a very uncommon (and beautiful!) bond with each other, regardless of the relationship's nature. (knock wood)

[corn flakes]

sometimes I'm a bit surprised to see the comments on phan - not over their bond, of course, which i agree comes across closer to obsessive best friends with giddy sexual chemistry than the typical long-term couple vibe. but moreso the time thing. it might just be my age? (late 20s) - but i personally know 2 couples who have been together 6-8 years and still spend every day together, have a healthy sex life (tmi) and adore one another (one gay, one het); and my sister and brother-in-law have a similarly close marriage and have been together since they were 16 (are now 35).

6 years...in the scheme of things really isn't that long. nor is their closeness or compatibility hugely uncommon. i think what is more uncommon about them is the health of their bond in the face of some heavy shit. being in the public eye and the subject of an obsessive fanbase, not anonymous joes with regular jobs, and closeted to boot. also a seemingly small support group. that is impressive, to me. to weather storms magnified 10 fold by their circumstances, and still be on one another's side.

totally agree with this theory that Phil flirts or is inappropriate overtly sometimes to overcompensate nerves, both with Dan and with others. alittledizzy what you said about Phil being worried he wouldn't be appealing out of his 5 minute snippets is perfect. people overlook that when thinking about them starting out.

I don't know. I'm pretty old, I've been married for 23 years and I know a lot of couples. And I only know 1 that has the closeness that have. Most couples I know like each other fine but aren't best friends, inseparable, always want to be together. I think it is very rare to find a relationship like that and I hope they know how special what they have is. I've never had anyone in my life I could have 5 hour Skype conversations with, not even my sister who is the closest person to me. Even when they are at parties they are side by side. What in the world do they find to talk about all the time? Don't they get tired of each other? When my husband and I go to a party, I ditch him as soon as possible. We spend enough time together, let me talk to someone else!

I personally know other couples that have been togheter since they were 16 but I'm still amazed by Deppy: they met when they were young but at what would have to be different stages in their life (Dan going to University and to discover life and Phil , someone that has already graduated and now is going to work but should in theory have more experience), they spend everyday togheter and have gone through so much shit under the public eye , (the stalking behaviour of people,the judgment from other people, things that we don't know ) that for me this 6 years are much more. They may have their problems and there will be sometimes where they can't stand each other but they have that kind of bond (platonic or non)that unfortunatly many of us will only know in books and films.

I tried to find a quote to specify that but I have found this one that's super soppy:
Lily:Whats a soulmate?
Dawson: It's a.. Well, it's like a best friend, but more. It's the one person in the world that knows you better than anyone else. It's someone who makes you a better person, well, actually they don't make you a better person... you do that yourself-- because they inspire you. A soulmate is someone who you carry with you forever. It's the one person who knew you, and accepted you, and believed in you before anyone else did or when no one else would. And no matter what happens.. you'll always love them.
- Dawsons creek

[Gemini]

Reminds me of this.

[hollyphan]

offtopic:
aahhh omg! I was only a lurker at GG and I was SO pissed about what happened there in the threads! Now I'm finally here after a few days of work and uni and have more than 70 pages to catch up to. AWESOME! I don't know you, but I kind of missed you all.
Keep postin', I'll start from the beginning now... xD
Greetings from lovely Berlin

[daphenaxa]

This is a little off-topic, as my posts are usually.

I didn't want to go look through old GG forums but I was genuinely curious about Adrian Howell. I know he deleted his tumblr a while ago apparently, but I went looking for facebook profiles, and found one that looked kind of like the old pictures of Adrian. I don't really want to link it here, but it says he lives in [location removed] and studies film at a college. All I know is that the pictures really look like him, but the rest of his profie is private. I know the gist of what happened with him, and I just wish he had open profiles now that he's older. Oh, well.

Hmm so I just looked up this profile and if it's legit, which it does look, then Dan's brother goes to the same school as my cousin?

The college isn't particularly near the Reading area (where Dan says he's from) though so seems a bit off..

lol ask your cousin to investigate because it's legit

[bluebox-away]

This is a little off-topic, as my posts are usually.

I didn't want to go look through old GG forums but I was genuinely curious about Adrian Howell. I know he deleted his tumblr a while ago apparently, but I went looking for facebook profiles, and found one that looked kind of like the old pictures of Adrian. I don't really want to link it here, but it says he lives in [location removed] and studies film at a college. All I know is that the pictures really look like him, but the rest of his profie is private. I know the gist of what happened with him, and I just wish he had open profiles now that he's older. Oh, well.

Hmm so I just looked up this profile and if it's legit, which it does look, then Dan's brother goes to the same school as my cousin?

The college isn't particularly near the Reading area (where Dan says he's from) though so seems a bit off..

lol ask your cousin to investigate because it's legit

That's not a weird thing to ask at all I think it's a pretty big school and she's not friends with him on fb so I doubt she'd know anything anyway

[Cora]

sometimes I'm a bit surprised to see the comments on phan - not over their bond, of course, which i agree comes across closer to obsessive best friends with giddy sexual chemistry than the typical long-term couple vibe. but moreso the time thing. it might just be my age? (late 20s) - but i personally know 2 couples who have been together 6-8 years and still spend every day together, have a healthy sex life (tmi) and adore one another (one gay, one het); and my sister and brother-in-law have a similarly close marriage and have been together since they were 16 (are now 35).

I don't know. I'm pretty old, I've been married for 23 years and I know a lot of couples. And I only know 1 that has the closeness that have. Most couples I know like each other fine but aren't best friends, inseparable, always want to be together. I think it is very rare to find a relationship like that and I hope they know how special what they have is. I've never had anyone in my life I could have 5 hour Skype conversations with, not even my sister who is the closest person to me. Even when they are at parties they are side by side. What in the world do they find to talk about all the time? Don't they get tired of each other? When my husband and I go to a party, I ditch him as soon as possible. We spend enough time together, let me talk to someone else!

Have to agree with you - I met my husband when I was 19 & we've been married for 25 years, and even when we were in newly together, although we loved each other's company, we were never inseparable like D & P seem to be. We worked together for quite a while, and once the work day was done, we needed some time alone with our respective friends...I think people often get worried that they'll "lose themselves" if they almost exclusively engage only with each other. I'd say very few couples that I know, who've lasted long term, have been that wrapped around each other. I've known couples that were always by one another's sides, but I have to say that the relationship rarely lasted long. OTOH, it may well be that D&P DID want to lose themselves in each other, due to the nature of their work, or other situations in their life. So, I'd have to agree that what D&P have together seems to be a very uncommon (and beautiful!) bond with each other, regardless of the relationship's nature. (knock wood)

I know a couple that have been together for 18 years, married for 10, and they were each other's first real relationship and lost their virginities to one another. They are absolutely inseparable and do everything together, but that's because they are debilitatingly codependent. It's so bad that when one is at work and the other has the day off, they basically shut down and sit quietly in a room waiting for the other to get home. It's actually quite sad. I hope D&P aren't THAT co-dependent.

[spaceguitar]

I kind of side- eye the people who (intensely) romanticize the codependent aspect of D+P's relationship.
For me, I totally understand the spending-lots-of-time-together type of relationship. I'm an introvert and enjoy spending time with the same people. When my sister is home, I'll hang out with her every day. (Though we go out and do things).

[alittledizzy]

I kind of side- eye the people who (intensely) romanticize the codependent aspect of D+P's relationship.
For me, I totally understand the spending-lots-of-time-together type of relationship. I'm an introvert and enjoy spending time with the same people. When my sister is home, I'll hang out with her every day. (Though we go out and do things).

I think there's interesting potential in discussing what is romanticizing, and what is recognizing that Dan and Phil are comfortable/functional within the co-dependency and taking cues from them as to how to view it.

It's also one of those issues where it's easy to project our individual habits and behaviors onto them. It's most telling to me that neither Dan nor Phil seem to have ever been like this with anyone else, that we know of. (And in Dan's case, if he was that co-dependent with his last girlfriend then it was within the context of a teenage relationship where no adult, life-altering decisions were being based on the dependency.)

[mez29]

I don't know if it's been said already yet but by the time they met IRL, Dan (if he hadn't taken a gap year) would have been at uni.

Speaking of which, when did he submit his UCAS application? did he do it whilst still at college, and take a deferred entry, or did he apply after he had his A-Level results during his gap year? If the former - there's another outrageous bit of luck - he'd have chosen Manchester before he started chatting to Phil (applications usually have to be in by mid-January)

I'm pretty sure it was during his gap year, as he got an unconditional (he posted a screenshot of it on twitter). I think Manchester wasn't originally his first choice though …

[lilMango]

Moderator Action :

Hey everyone,

Regarding the discussion of Dan's brother: Talking/theorizing about him is fine, so long as you don't reveal any of his person information (such as his location) and don't link directly to any of his social media accounts. (In accordance with Forum Rule 2). In light of this I have edited some of the previous posts to remove certain pieces of info. Feel free to carry on the discussion though, as long as it doesn't get too personal. Thanks!

Sorry about that, I wasn't sure exactly how precise the location was, seeing as I don't live in the UK. Didn't mean to cause any trouble

[corn flakes]

I kind of side- eye the people who (intensely) romanticize the codependent aspect of D+P's relationship.
For me, I totally understand the spending-lots-of-time-together type of relationship. I'm an introvert and enjoy spending time with the same people. When my sister is home, I'll hang out with her every day. (Though we go out and do things).

Maybe I don't understand the definition of codependt but for me they are able to work now without the other, they simply can't be bothered to because they have much more fun when they are togheter and are each other security blanket, in the sense that when there's a problem or an awakard situation they would help each other out. I may have throught that there were something when Dan admited to feel bad that weekend he was away with the bbc and he wasn't able to function...but was it because there was no Phil or there wasn't someone that made him feel at ease? For what I understood at least at the time Dan was insicure and shy. a deadly combination.


What I admire it's how they never get tired of each other and when necesarry help each other but yes if there was something much more serious...

[karma_yeah]

offtopic:
aahhh omg! I was only a lurker at GG and I was SO pissed about what happened there in the threads! Now I'm finally here after a few days of work and uni and have more than 70 pages to catch up to. AWESOME! I don't know you, but I kind of missed you all.
Keep postin', I'll start from the beginning now... xD
Greetings from lovely Berlin

Glad you found us! Ain't nobody got time for that kinda stuff

I know what you guys mean about the co-dependence -- it probably is. And other than to say their relationship seems healthy and functional, it's kinda hard to deny it's true. Especially when Dan was away recently and Phil did "Another Sleepless Night"


Of course, the phandom went nuts with "Don't ever leave Phil again! He can't take care of himself." because he resorts to the equivalent of watching home videos of Dil (their "child") and hurts himself in the bathroom (ok, I admit I did laugh --- but because it was endearing)

I don't mean to over romanticize their co-dependence -- of course 24/29 year old men need to be able to function independently. But that's just it, I think they can function independently. They are smart, funny and creative. But if you can also do what you love with someone you love, why not? I have no doubt that they feel perfectly comfortable going in another room and playing a video game if they need time alone, or being in the same room together not saying a word for hours. A lot of the "OMG he's gone, I'm lost" stuff may be fan-service.

A couple of people mentioned they knew of a couple or two here or there like that. My in-laws were each others only loves and were married 58 years. After retirement several years back they were quite content to be with each other pretty much all the time. They weren't clingy, just comfortable. (my mother in law passed recently)

I'll admit to having a little bit of envy about their relationship.

[leisurely]

Maybe I don't understand the definition of codependt but for me they are able to work now without the other, they simply can't be bothered to because they have much more fun when they are togheter and are each other security blanket, in the sense that when there's a problem or an awakard situation they would help each other out. I may have throught that there were something when Dan admited to feel bad that weekend he was away with the bbc and he wasn't able to function...but was it because there was no Phil or there wasn't someone that made him feel at ease? For what I understood at least at the time Dan was insicure and shy. a deadly combination.

This was the satsuma incident at big weekend 2014 i think when Phil went away (to florida?). In a liveshow Dan said how he was standing awkwardly in a circle while Nick Grimshaw was speaking to Harry Styles.

[pearshaped34]

Maybe it's my conservative upbringing but it really bothers me that Dan went to Manchester several times just for Phil. What did his parents say? Alone for days in a strangers house? Really?! If I didn't find their relationship endearing I'll just think that it was a college student who took advantage of his high school student stalker. I really think their questionable beginnings is a factor why they can't easily come out as a couple

I think the story of how Dan and Phil meet doesn't bother me because it worked out so well (not that either of them knew they'd be living together six years later at the time it was playing out).
If I was hearing the story and Dan had visited a few times and then they'd never mentioned each other again it would probably seem a lot more seedy to me.
But I don't really look at Dan as being a highschool student, if he hadn't taken a gap year he'd have been in uni himself at the time that they meet.

Regarding Dan's parents opinions though I'd be very surprised if Dan who let his parents find out he was a youtuber from somebody else actually told his parents he was going to stay with some 22 year old guy he'd been chatting to on the internet.

My personal theory is that alternate version of how they meet they were trying to sell for a period of time is the parent version of the story.
Dan probably just told them he was going to visit a friend who was at Manchester Uni (if he didn't have one then likely a random friend who wasn't close enough for his parents to know what they were up to but who's name they'd recognize). And then sometime after he got back he introduced the idea of Phil who he meet while there and then eventually the "friend" would be written out of the story and he'd just be going to see Phil.

And when you take the meeting on the internet thing out of the equation I don't think the age difference would have seemed like such a big deal to his parents. Then again it entirely possible they didn't know Phil's age at first, it's not like he couldn't pass for being a few years younger and if Dan said he was a friend of a friend they might have just assumed they same age without asking.

[majitzu]

I can't, this is my favourite part, not because of the hands but because Phil's expression. Just look at his face



...

[DryCereal]

I don't know if it's been said already yet but by the time they met IRL, Dan (if he hadn't taken a gap year) would have been at uni.

Speaking of which, when did he submit his UCAS application? did he do it whilst still at college, and take a deferred entry, or did he apply after he had his A-Level results during his gap year? If the former - there's another outrageous bit of luck - he'd have chosen Manchester before he started chatting to Phil (applications usually have to be in by mid-January)

I'm pretty sure it was during his gap year, as he got an unconditional (he posted a screenshot of it on twitter). I think Manchester wasn't originally his first choice though …

Thought it was one hell of a coincidence(!) Cheers for that.

re: the co-dependency/omg they can't cope without each other... pfft. Doubt very much that's the case. They can, even if they prefer not to... (Let's be honest, we've had plenty of evidence that Phil's just as clumsy when Dan's around - although the "not being able to sleep" part the one night between Dan leaving and him going up north - make of that whatever you like(!) Although controversial idea - no proof as to what time the vid was filmed. Yes, it looks dark outside the kitchen/bathroom windows, but it's dark by 5pm in January...
Seems I'm in a cynical mood tonight...

[sunday]

Maybe I don't understand the definition of codependt but for me they are able to work now without the other, they simply can't be bothered to because they have much more fun when they are togheter and are each other security blanket, in the sense that when there's a problem or an awakard situation they would help each other out. I may have throught that there were something when Dan admited to feel bad that weekend he was away with the bbc and he wasn't able to function...but was it because there was no Phil or there wasn't someone that made him feel at ease? For what I understood at least at the time Dan was insicure and shy. a deadly combination.

I just read your post and then came across this on tumblr - I'm guessing this is what you're referring to


I think they can socialise without one another but obviously when you're with someone you know so well you're going to feel more comfortable. I think they're both just a bit socially awkward. Dan did that whole gaming documentary by himself... I wish Phil had done a documentary too, I wonder why he didn't want to.