Dan & Phil Part 80: You're my plinth of life

[starwatersong]

Wow, Phil in that picture.

[lilabet]

[Ablissa]

They've been spotted by fans:

Hmmmm even if D&P offered and approached I'd be hesitant to take a picture when they're on Christmas break. Even posting it seems wrong why would you not post it after Christmas? Maybe I'm just in a weird mood and being judgemental but it just seems like this time of year more than any other they are off the clock.

Yeah, I agree. The photo itself is cute and I love seeing them, but like, they were probably with family. I understand the fans may not know they're on a family trip, but if they're with people, I'd just leave them. I hope this kind of thing doesn't put them off sharing the trip with us.

The video was cute, I was happy to be back to Devan, and some people did guess right with the Get Famous expansion (partially)!
The best part of course was Phil saying he likes the cock, because why not. Thanks for clarifying, Phil. Also love the mention of Phil making scrambled eggs in the Manchester apartment. They keep comparing themselves to Dab and Evan and I love all the domestic anecdotes that it spawns.
Oh, and Phil's jumper is wonderfully hideous, I love it.

This is like my 4th edit but whateverrr. They called themselves "daddies" again in the tweet...

[plinthofmylife]

I loved that Phil wanted Dab to rush home to Evan after the shoot. Also the "danisnotadoctor" on the endscreen somehow implied to me that, unlike Evan, Dan is not a doctor to support his actor bf (Phil) but I'm not reading into that at all...

Gosh they're cute.

[alittledizzy]

Phil's reaction to saying he likes the cock cracked me up. Upon first watch, easily my favorite moment.

(That and the nostalgia about how Phil always made eggs for every meal.)

[Amiaw]

These Dab and Evan episodes really hurt. Loved the little look when Phil sang “baby, it’s cold outside” and also all of the anecdotes.
Didn’t love the “subscribe if you want to” at the end. I know dapg is going on hiatus but no need to make it sound so final guys

[wiccamoody]

That was cute! They're very good at bringing out all the cuteness in this and I'm so very here for it. I do find it funny that Dan keeps calling them bachelors though. Does he actually know what a bachelor is? And Dan joking about Phil saying he likes cock. lmao I love it. I'm suuuper loving the theme of reminiscing too. Phil making them eggs all the time and letting his mum clean his apartment seems like such a Phil thing to do so it's nice to hear them talk about it. I also love how many times Phil turned to Dan for confirmation when he mentioned something. So. Cute.

A stand out moment to me was Phil insisting that Dab and Evan "mark [their] territory on the bed" and "christen" it with sex. I died laughing over that. And Dan being all cute: "Aw look and Evan stayed up for him! We like that." Sigh. I love it. Lol at "amazingphursuit" in the end screen and Phil saying you should introduce yourself to a furry on your next acting job. I'm here for it Phil.

I'm semi annoyed at how wonderful all this content is--especially since I wasn't too pleased about dilmas at first--right before the break. It's definitely leaving a really bittersweet feeling for me.

Also, off topic from the video, but all my idb merch finally came (my mugs were stuck on the other side of the country for like two weeks for whatever reason. The sticker came before it was even expected to lol). Everything is so pretty and I definitely really enjoyed drinking my morning coffee out of the bee mug

Soz for how ugly (and massive?? why) these pictures are haha.

[ratlad]

"aww evan stayed up for him" followed by "WE like that" FOLLOWED BY A JUMPCUT OF PHIL LOOKING AT DAN SO LOVINGLY IN THE TOP RIGHT CORNER ??? (if he wasn't looking at dn, my screaming still stands because phil is beautiful and he is worthy of a happy scream)
also dan saying that dan and evans bed looks like a good bed to woohoo on and phil agrees. uh ok. why would phil want them to mark their territory with sex? i'm sure there are other ways to do that without banging on every surface.
makes me wonder what they did to that breakfast bar in manchester

[flarequake]

That was fun and Dab did so well, he looked great as a blond pirate. I got an ad halfway through for Cillit Bang with the loudest man in advertising, Barry Scott, who’s still going strong. Appropriate. I loved Tabs turning up, felt for her being asked so quickly to give her key back. She and Dil are looking good with their grey hair and new outfits. I loved Phil’s line of baby it’s cold outside, good baritones. For once it didn’t quite have me but it’s a good sound.

[hello9217]

These videos with dab and evan should just be renamed to "dan do you remember my apartment"
I do love all the anecdotes we're getting though. They have me like

[rizzo]

Oh, was there a whole half hour video? I was too busy staring at Phil's hair. That man is going to make an excellent silver fox.

I thought the video was cute. Nothing special, but a few moments were heart-warming. Loved Phil throwing back to his weird little acting moments.

In general, I'm really loving how many throwbacks and #mems we're getting lately.

[plinthofmylife]

These videos with dab and evan should just be renamed to "dan do you remember my apartment"

That made me LOL in a serious way

[alittledizzy]

makes me wonder what they did to that breakfast bar in manchester

The things that breakfast bar must have seen and endured.

[Ataraxia25]

I liked the video, lots of cute momentsbut I can't help feeling sad because i keep thinking about the upcoming hiatus.
I really want to highlight moody's comment because i feel exactly the same:

I'm semi annoyed at how wonderful all this content is--especially since I wasn't too pleased about dilmas at first--right before the break. It's definitely leaving a really bittersweet feeling for me.

[starwatersong]

Can I just say I really enjoyed hearing Dan say the words “my boyfriend,” even out of context?

[Catallena]

Cute video

It doesn't top the first day of Dilmas, but that would just be unfair competition because interior design episodes always win. The important thing is that it definitely entertained me more than Day 2. The boys seem so happy playing as Devan, and I just get such a warm happy feeling from watching them. Loved the little throwbacks to Phil being 'the guy from the commercial' and his short career as a movie star. Also love imagining Phil serving eggs to Dan whenever he came over for almost every meal. Very relatable. Not because I can't cook anything else, I just really love eggs Please tell me more and more anecdotes of your times together in Manchester boys!

btw whenever we get beautiful out of context soundbites like "I love the cock." I feel like I'm being called to dedicate my life to finding all the soundbites ever and compile them in one kinky video, but when would I ever have the time for that?? Maybe one day, when I break both my legs and literally can't do anything but that.

I'm currently closing my eyes and putting my fingers in my ears, loudly shouting LALALALA about the H-word coming in 2 days. I'll face that demon when it comes. (note to self: buy some tissues when at the supermarket tomorrow)

[itasca00]

Of the three videos of The Sims that have come so far this Dilmas, I think this has been my favorite. Here are my highlights:

• [1:15] It sounds like Dan has given this a lot of thought.

  P: So are we thinking that Dab’s going to be an actor, then?
  D: I think that we’ll see what’s on offer, but he seems--
  P: Yeah.
  D: --like that kind of type.
  P: I think he is.
  D: But he’s not doing it for attention. He’s doing it for, you know, the artistic expression of trying to have a deeper understanding of human emotion.

• [1:55] Dan, if you want a skeleton maid, just go on the same adventure that Dab and Evan did with Phil. Easy peasy.

  D: The Totecallama.
  P: Yeah, that’s his!
  D: We have to. That is his.
  P: He needs to inherit the--
  D: Exactly.
  P: --the skeleton maid.
  D: The goat. Yeah. Oh, my God. Well, that’s gonna be a life changer for two young bachelors in the city.
  P: Yeah.
  D: A skele--Where’s our frickin’ skeleton maid?
  P: Exactly.

• [2:42] Phil really walked right into that one. Good work, Dan.

  P: Right, what are we transforming?
  D: The giant cock?
  P: I like the cock!
  D: Okay.
  P: What about the--the plant next to it? I’m not fond of that.
  D: I think you just told us a bit too much there, Phil. Right. Well, let’s mo--
  P: I didn’t--I didn’t even realize what I said.
  D: I’m sure you didn’t. Okay. FIne. There we go. Let’s just set fire to the snow angel.
  P: Oh, my God. That would be awful.
  D: I love that the snow angel is, like, a feature now. I’m just tryin’ to talk about the snow angel, Phil.
  P: That’s gonna be clipped up or something.

• [4:09] The way that Phil asked Dan if his apartment was a mess was really cute.

  P: Whenever my mum came to my apartment in Manchester, she would just clean everything. I’d be like, “Mum, sit down. Have a cup of tea.” She’d just be scrubbing the surfaces.
  D: But did you have a problem with that?
  P: It wasn’t a mess! Wa--Was it a mess? It wasn’t that bad.
  D: It wasn’t that bad.
  P: It was organized chaos.
  D: But I’m asking if you told your mum to stop doing that, Phil.
  P: No, I didn’t ask her to stop.

• [4:31] Dan continues to thirst after Evan:

  D: Wait a minute! Does that have an ear piercing?
  P: He’s got a piercing!
  D: Oh, I see. Moves to the city. Gets a stud.
  P: Yeah.
  D: Stud with a stud.

• [6:37] Wow. So Phil thinks an apartment isn’t truly yours until you’ve had sex in it. Okay.

  P: “WooHoo.”
  D: “WooHoo.” *gasps*
  P: What?
  D: They’re no longer teens.
  P: Oh, they can WooHoo! They should mark their territory on the bed and--That sounds weird. I mean, just like--
  D: Okay, whatever you’re trying to say--
  P: Don’t pee all over the bed!
  D: --when you--when you use the object--
  P: Use it for the first time.
  D: --“mark your territory,” that’s n--Okay, I mean--
  P: Christen the bed?
  D: --going straight from “make--making out” to peeing on the bed. Okay.
  P: Do something to make you officially part of the house. I forgot the word.

• [7:34] I guess we know one way to get Dan in the mood.

  D: You gotta WooHoo! Don’t put on your coat!
  P: But it’s snowing in the city! This is the first snow we’ve had.
  D: Awww.
  P: Ayy.
  D: What a perfect time to WooHoo.

• [7:48] Falling asleep after sex: Bad in Dan’s book.

  D: We could watch it like a couple perverts through the window.
  P: That’s so weird!
  D: So just so you know, this is what everybody’s seeing right now.
  P: The bigger the glass, the more ass.
  D: The more ass.
  P: That’s what we saw when we lived opposite a hotel. Jeez.
  D: Oh, God. There was a lot of ass.
  D: I mean, that does look like a very nice bed to WooHoo in.
  P: It does.
  D: You have, like, a head rest and everything. Okay, wow.
  P: Ooh.
  D: There’s a whole--I’m sorry. We have to do this. And here he goes.
  P: Oh, my God. What am I seeing?
  D: Oop. Okay! This is some first-person WooHooing that you’re seeing right now. Wonderful. I love the--the miracle of love. Yep. Yep. Sure. Okay.
  P: Wow.
  D: There we go, and he’s asleep. Alright, Evan’s that guy.
  P: That was delirious.

• [9:46] I think it’s a little late to start acting like a prude, Dan.

  D: Alright, they can also play doctor at home.
  P: Oh, wow!
  D: Oi. Okay, arms and legs inside your own gowns, people.

• [10:56] This anecdote brings to mind Dan’s story of burning spaghetti. He must have been so impressed by Phil’s abilities at the time.

  P: Scrambled eggs was one of the things I always made in my apartment. Wasn’t it? I was like--
  D: Very true.
  P: --“Lunch: Scrambled eggs.”
  D: Phil's like, “I know how to make great scrambled eggs.”
  P: “Dinner: Scrambled eggs.”
  D: What was your secret to good scrambled eggs?
  P: Put a little bit of cream in there as well. Not just milk. Little dollop of cream.
  D: Absolute. What is this bourgeois-ness?

• [12:55] Phil reveals that he was in a commercial once. Dan is surprised that Phil is drawing attention to this fact. Phil says it was mortifying, and he tells everyone not to look it up. Then a part of the commercial plays. I found two videos of Phil in commercials:
  • Commercial 1 (in the video): Here
  • Commercial 2: Here
• [13:47] Sounds like there’s a story here.

  D: Don’t ever walk down Hollywood Boulevard. You’ll have great expectations, and then you’ll be scared.
  P: Yeah.

• [14:14] Someone’s been keeping tabs on Tyler.

  D: That’s an up-and-coming hotspot where you go to the gym. You might see Tyler Oakley there.

• [14:43] Dan has an immediate visceral uncomfortable reaction when he sees how fancy the place he chose to send Dab is, and he asks Phil if they can go to the other option instead. I don't know. This just stands out to me as an interesting reaction.
• [16:37] What’s wrong with fanboys?

  D: Look, we cannot be associated with all of these other fanboys. We just need to leave. Okay. This is embarrassing.

• [17:19] Look. This is Dab and Evan’s space. If Tabitha hears something she doesn’t want to hear, I say that’s her own fault.

  D: But how will Dab help Evan learn to be a doctor?
  P: I don’t know.
  D: ‘Cause you’re not gonna be playing doctor while your mum is outside. Okay? P--Please don’t do that.
  P: Just let me chop your arm off. I’ll sew it back on.

• [17:57] Sharing a bathroom with your boyfriend while he’s pooping: Also bad in Dan’s book.

  D: Wow, now they’re that couple.
  P: Yeah.
  D: Okay. I see how it is.
  P: Didn’t take long.
  D: Slightly awkward there.

• [18:55] Dan pretends to barf when he sees that the new floor he just placed underneath the wardrobe doesn’t match the floor in the rest of the room. I mean, yeah, that’s not great, but I personally think this apartment has a ton of much bigger problems.
• [19:39] I definitely thought Dan’s last sentence here was going to be “I prefer to get attacked from behind.”

  D: He’s a--He’s a look at the spout kind of guy.
  P: That’s crazy! No one should look at the spout!
  D: I looked at the spout this morning.
  P: Why?!
  D: I dunno--I was just--I was just--
  P: Face--
  D: I was in one of those moods.
  P: Face away from the spout! You’re gonna get attacked from behind.
  D: I was in one of those moods. I prefer to get attacked right in the face.

• [22:08] Dan and Phil agree that they both have always liked the people who do their makeup.
• [24:11] Something about this just sounds right.

  D: You need to hear what I've been working on. Okay? I've been practicing this in my mirror to my boyfriend, and it's honestly so deep, it's got layers.

• [24:56] Phil’s anecdote here was okay, but the only reason this is a highlight is because of the voice Dan used to mock Phil.

  P: See, when I was in a movie--
  D: Mmhmm.
  P: --I made the mistake of not having breakfast.
  D: *mocking voice* Oh, I was in an advert.--
  P: Yeah. *mocking voice* Oh, I was in a movie.
  D: --Oh, I was in a movie. Okay.
  P: I got the mistake of not having breakfast before we did it--
  D: Yeah.
  P: --and then we were stood there getting ready to film, and I was stood next to a mildly famous actor. And my tummy was rumbling so bad. It was like, “Bellow.”
  D: Audible rumbleage.
  P: Yeah.
  D: That’s just--You can’t do that.
  P: So I think he thought that--
  D: Can’t be about that.
  P: --I had some digestive issues.

• [27:09] I presume they must be talking about makeup from when they’re on TV, but I imagined them walking home in stage makeup, which tends to be pretty garish.

  P: I hope he gets to keep the eyeliner.
  D: He’s saved time on the budget. You’d go home wearing the makeup. I always go home wearing the makeup.
  P: Yeah. I mean, if they make you look nicer, why wipe it off?
  D: Then why would you--Exactly.

• Individual merch links again point to individual shops for this video.

[pcvaidya]

Sometimes, I think about the fact that I have watched 60 videos about two men playing Sims 4 to the point that I am mildly invested in their Sims's lives and wonder how this became my life.

[kavat]

I just love hearing them relate to Dab and Evan so much. And like Moody said, how Phil keeps asking for confirmation about living in his first apartment, because Dan was there almost as much as he was. Music to my ears.

[coffeepenguin]

wow guys, the bants are on point, I've just read through about 13 pages straight no jk though, I've been through many endings in my other fandoms, I feel your pain (actually, going through another one right now with someone full-on retiring, so. yeah. I feel you). I won't get much into my own feelings, just wanted to give another shout out to this great point re: them not announcing beforehand that will be the last pinof:

I'm actually really glad they didn't tell us 10 would be the final PINOF before it happened because of the speculation hype. Every year there's always "what if they come out?!?" and "what if one of them proposes?!??" but if they'd said clearly in advance that it was the final one, it would've flown off the charts. And really no matter what they did - people would've been disappointed and sad (and probably angry) because I don't think D&P would've approached it any differently than they already did. I'm glad we had a chance to enjoy it on its own terms and not put extra high expectations on it.

fully agree

Dilmas is cute as hell, even if I don't like Sims that much and Devan doesn't usually do it for me either (*gasp*).

I loved it so much The koi picture the AP colour scheme
I know it would be too on the nose, but I want them to make Dab and Evan social media influencers now. The Get Famous expansion pack could be their last claimable expense for dapg....

Dilmas day 1 gets an A+++

I'll see your deppy's real jobs and I raise you their teenage selves wanting to be an actor and a vet doctor

[ratlad]

it didn't even occur to me that it's almost christmas/festive holiday on the 25th that other people celebrate. i'm just not into it tbh, i have the flu for the first time in almost 20 months so that probably has something to do with my mood. although i haven't been in the christmas mood since i was 12.
so unless dnp post a cute pic before dan heads off to Reading, then this year just won't cut it for me.
take all of my teeth, i just want to see my lil babs together

[capybantsa]

Oh! I just noticed Phil's brown roots! I guess that explains why the white hairs are visible too lol I'm not smart. Is 2019 going to be the end of black hair Phil along with the end of bed background Phil?

Anyway I'm more or less enjoying Dilmas. It seems like they're having fun, which is always a good time. Can't be mad about all the comparisons between Devan and Phan, and honestly how could I say no to Phil accidentally liking the uh, rooster, with no jump cuts or denials? I honestly don't know how Dan kept a straight face during that, I was dying.

I recall him saying “if I ever decide to bat for that camp” in response to someone in the chat saying their brother thought he was hot. Also the dreaded “just rohypnol me” statement. So no, there was definitely a time that Dan was implying he would not be in a sexual or romantic relationship with a guy, currently, or of his own free will. Thank goodness those days are long gone.

Oh, I wasn't aware of those. In my defence, even those were basically "how do I flirt with guys while denying being interested in guys while also not being homophobic", so I think in his heart he didn't really mean it and that's why there aren't many statements like that.

I really do wonder what he would've said during that era if somebody asked him if he was bi, because from what I've seen he just kept getting asked if he was gay a million times, which was probably annoying. Realistically he probably would've just ignored the question, though.

To be honest, I don't like the sentiment I sometimes see that, if you don't openly share your sexual orientation (whether that's just openly talking about boys/girls or actively stating "I'm gay/bi/pan/etc"), you're not free or whatever. If they did want to publicly maintain that they're 100% straight then there's nothing wrong with that, as long as it's what they want to do. If they want to be more open then they should be given a safe environment to do that in and I totally support that, but what I support most is them doing what they want to do and what makes them most comfortable.

Being gay, I really disagree. Hiding is not freedom. Feeling like you need to hide is not freedom. It's bondage.

[parallel]

To be honest, I don't like the sentiment I sometimes see that, if you don't openly share your sexual orientation (whether that's just openly talking about boys/girls or actively stating "I'm gay/bi/pan/etc"), you're not free or whatever. If they did want to publicly maintain that they're 100% straight then there's nothing wrong with that, as long as it's what they want to do. If they want to be more open then they should be given a safe environment to do that in and I totally support that, but what I support most is them doing what they want to do and what makes them most comfortable.

Being gay, I really disagree. Hiding is not freedom. Feeling like you need to hide is not freedom. It's bondage.

There's a difference between "feeling like you need to hide is not freedom" and "it's okay to be closeted if that's what you want". Of course nobody should feel they need to hide a part of themselves; I could not agree more. Perhaps I phrased my original post badly. For me, being closeted has given me the freedom to be able to live a fulfilling life which I wouldn't be able to live otherwise; yeah, I shouldn't have to hide, but there's nothing wrong with me being closeted if that's what I want. And celebrating how open or not open public figures are is my main concern. If public figures don't want to be open about any part of their lives then that's their prerogative, and it's not really any of our business what Deppy share or don't share with us.

I suppose I find it... strange, for lack of a better word, to celebrate Dan and Phil being more open. It's fine to be happy that they they're moving to somewhere where they're more comfortable (i.e. being more open about things), but being more open in and of itself isn't necessarily a good thing; it's only good if it's something Dan and Phil want.

[alittledizzy]

To be honest, I don't like the sentiment I sometimes see that, if you don't openly share your sexual orientation (whether that's just openly talking about boys/girls or actively stating "I'm gay/bi/pan/etc"), you're not free or whatever. If they did want to publicly maintain that they're 100% straight then there's nothing wrong with that, as long as it's what they want to do. If they want to be more open then they should be given a safe environment to do that in and I totally support that, but what I support most is them doing what they want to do and what makes them most comfortable.

Being gay, I really disagree. Hiding is not freedom. Feeling like you need to hide is not freedom. It's bondage.

There's a difference between "feeling like you need to hide is not freedom" and "it's okay to be closeted if that's what you want". Of course nobody should feel they need to hide a part of themselves; I could not agree more. Perhaps I phrased my original post badly. For me, being closeted has given me the freedom to be able to live a fulfilling life which I wouldn't be able to live otherwise; yeah, I shouldn't have to hide, but there's nothing wrong with me being closeted if that's what I want. And celebrating how open or not open public figures are is my main concern. If public figures don't want to be open about any part of their lives then that's their prerogative, and it's not really any of our business what Deppy share or don't share with us.

I suppose I find it... strange, for lack of a better word, to celebrate Dan and Phil being more open. It's fine to be happy that they they're moving to somewhere where they're more comfortable (i.e. being more open about things), but being more open in and of itself isn't necessarily a good thing; it's only good if it's something Dan and Phil want.

I think what people are celebrating is that if Dan and Phil are being more open because it's because it's something that they want. Dan and Phil established a firm status quo circa 20011-2016 that we shouldn't expect to be let into certain aspects of their life or their dynamic, and - unlike 2011/2012 with the video leaking - the decision to pull back from that is entirely theirs. That's what makes it feel good. I don't think there's anyone that wants Dan and Phil to put themselves in an uncomfortable place just for the sake of openness.

But aside from that I do agree with you, parallel, that sometimes the freedom is in not feeling like there's pressure to be open in situations where you don't feel like it's safe or where being open/out would command more energy than you feel like giving to it. The thing here is that ideally hiding wouldn't be freedom because you could walk into Christmas dinner with your whole family knowing you're gay and it not be a tension laden experience filled with sidelong glances and generally being treated somehow othered for this thing that people know about you. But since for a lot of people that is our experience, hiding offers the freedom to enjoy experiences without every single thing being uncomfortably about sexuality when you'd rather it not be. So maybe it's just a bit of both - the bondage is society's reaction, but the ability to control what information people know about you and therefore ensure your ability to be safe and/or just relaxed in any given situation still feels like freedom.

[fancybum]

Aw yay I loved that way more than the last episode I don't want it to ennnnd

I loved it so much The koi picture the AP colour scheme
I know it would be too on the nose, but I want them to make Dab and Evan social media influencers now. The Get Famous expansion pack could be their last claimable expense for dapg....

Dilmas day 1 gets an A+++

I'll see your deppy's real jobs and I raise you their teenage selves wanting to be an actor and a vet doctor

Oh man I just saw there's a mod for a meteorologist career; Phil could have vicariously experienced being a weatherman

To be honest, I don't like the sentiment I sometimes see that, if you don't openly share your sexual orientation (whether that's just openly talking about boys/girls or actively stating "I'm gay/bi/pan/etc"), you're not free or whatever. If they did want to publicly maintain that they're 100% straight then there's nothing wrong with that, as long as it's what they want to do. If they want to be more open then they should be given a safe environment to do that in and I totally support that, but what I support most is them doing what they want to do and what makes them most comfortable.

Being gay, I really disagree. Hiding is not freedom. Feeling like you need to hide is not freedom. It's bondage.

There's a difference between "feeling like you need to hide is not freedom" and "it's okay to be closeted if that's what you want". Of course nobody should feel they need to hide a part of themselves; I could not agree more. Perhaps I phrased my original post badly. For me, being closeted has given me the freedom to be able to live a fulfilling life which I wouldn't be able to live otherwise; yeah, I shouldn't have to hide, but there's nothing wrong with me being closeted if that's what I want. And celebrating how open or not open public figures are is my main concern. If public figures don't want to be open about any part of their lives then that's their prerogative, and it's not really any of our business what Deppy share or don't share with us.

I suppose I find it... strange, for lack of a better word, to celebrate Dan and Phil being more open. It's fine to be happy that they they're moving to somewhere where they're more comfortable (i.e. being more open about things), but being more open in and of itself isn't necessarily a good thing; it's only good if it's something Dan and Phil want.

Here's the thing: they're not even hiding. Straight people (public figure types) get to (attempt to) keep their relationships private if they feel like it even while everybody ~knows or suspects, and it's not a huge deal. It's expected even. But because these two choose to keep their relationship private, they somehow end up being considered closeted even while freely making wildly not-straight comments and insinuations about themselves. Imo, deciding not to use any specific labels in relation to their sexualities or relationship (outside the most obvious, and true, label of friendship) isn't hiding. It's choosing what's important to keep private for them and what they're okay with sharing with an audience. They choose to share their friendship. They also choose to share the acceptance and normalization of things that go beyond heteronormative expectations without sacrificing their own level of wanted privacy. It's not just a choice between 'make an official public announcement of our relationship' or 'be closeted' because I don't think generally avoiding labels should be the same as being assumed to be closeted. They very much don't pretend to be, or attempt to be perceived as, straight (yes: anymore). The only 'issue' people seem to get stuck on is them not admitting they're together, but as always, the existence (or not) of their relationship is not the equivalent to how they express their sexualities and constantly linking them (as though one confirms or validates the other) is nonsensical to me.

I think what people are celebrating is that if Dan and Phil are being more open because it's because it's something that they want. Dan and Phil established a firm status quo circa 20011-2016 that we shouldn't expect to be let into certain aspects of their life or their dynamic, and - unlike 2011/2012 with the video leaking - the decision to pull back from that is entirely theirs. That's what makes it feel good. I don't think there's anyone that wants Dan and Phil to put themselves in an uncomfortable place just for the sake of openness.

But aside from that I do agree with you, parallel, that sometimes the freedom is in not feeling like there's pressure to be open in situations where you don't feel like it's safe or where being open/out would command more energy than you feel like giving to it. The thing here is that ideally hiding wouldn't be freedom because you could walk into Christmas dinner with your whole family knowing you're gay and it not be a tension laden experience filled with sidelong glances and generally being treated somehow othered for this thing that people know about you. But since for a lot of people that is our experience, hiding offers the freedom to enjoy experiences without every single thing being uncomfortably about sexuality when you'd rather it not be. So maybe it's just a bit of both - the bondage is society's reaction, but the ability to control what information people know about you and therefore ensure your ability to be safe and/or just relaxed in any given situation still feels like freedom.

Okay I agree with all of this too. I think I get defensive about the use of the word 'hiding' because it feels negative, like by choosing what you do and don't share is some kind of shady business when it's about preservation, not deceit.