I transcribed Dan's answers to all the Attitude videos so far - they'll be permanently in the Timestamps section but I thought I'd drop just his answers to the questions posed here, too.
Social Media Addiction
You are spending too much time on social media.
:42 - A clear sign that you spend too much time on the internet is when the voice in your head - like, of the social media conversation - is louder than what’s going on in the real world. I’ve had times where I put my phone down after looking at an argument on twitter and I’m just like, wow, okay. For a whole chunk of time there I was more sucked into the reality happening on my phone than the real world around me. I started to feel physically and my emotions got changed by what I was reading on the internet. Do you know what you do then? Put your own down. Look at a leaf for a moment. One deep breath. Ah. Real world.
What to do if you struggle with social media addiction?
1:32 - If you are addicted to social media, there are things you could do. You can set limits on the time on your phone that you can use certain apps for. You can just tell yourself I’m going to curate my experience and make it so that certain things don’t stress me out. Just take time in your day to do things off the internet that make you feel better. It doesn’t have to be something as big as a religion or meditation. Just buy a potted plant. Just tend to a cactus and it can ground you to reality.
How did you know you were addicted to social media?
3:58 - I think there were definitely days - moreso a few years ago, now I’m just like I’m so bored - where I would just sit looking at things for hours. I just could not be part of the conversation if people were talking about something that was happening, people were arguing about something. I had to read every single comment. I had to keep going to the end. And eventually I just got exhausted, even just from silently reading things that were happening on my laptop and I just had to start telling myself I don’t have to see everything. It’s the fear of missing out on these virtual conversations. And one day I was like - I need some damn respect for myself. I don’t need to be involved in this. And I just went - okay. Close the lid.
5:30 - I feel like a lot of people feel obligated to follow twenty newspapers and a bunch of celebrities that they might not care about. Even some people in their life that they might not want to see what they’re posting, but they feel like they have to. Don’t do that, please. Your social media, the time that you spend on it - radical idea: make it stuff that makes you feel good. If you see something and it doesn’t spark joy, unfollow! Hey. And if it’s your mum and she added you on facebook, you know - mute and she’ll never know about it. Just say you’re busy. She’ll never know. Sorry, mum.
Getting Through the Night
What keeps you up at night?
:51 - I’m the kind of person that like, fixates on one bad thing that happened in the day and thinks about it for about sixteen hours. So I’ll be awake at three am going - I went to shake that person’s hand and then I spilt a drink on them. And... is that something that’s worth literally losing my entire sleep over? No, but. That’s the kind of important stuff that my brain thinks of at three am.
What worries about thoughts have affected you in the past?
1:55 - If I’m awake in the middle of the night usually I’m fixated on one thing and I’m just panicking about it in circles for half an hour. So I usually just go - what’s the worst case scenario? And then I go… oh. Doesn’t really matter that much. Guess I’ll go to bed now.
What can you do when you’re struggling to sleep?
3:41 - The uncomfortable truth I never like to accept is that if you do a bit of exercise during the day, you’re probably gonna sleep a lot better. Whereas if you have a pizza at twelve o’clock then those calories are gonna keep you up at night. Those are the hard truths that I have to confront every single day.
4:09 - Honestly, I think for me, the best piece of advice I ever got about sleeping is to be really cold. I never believed a friend of mine who was like, look, if you’re really hot and sweaty you’re just going to roll around thinking it’s acceptable but if you open that window and you’re freezing to death you can just become this burrito of warmth and then you’ll just create your own little cocoon and fall asleep. So… try to make your room below freezing and then you’lll sleep really well.
5:52 - Sometimes you might feel tempted to get out of bed and go make yourself a slice of toast and - hey, that might work for some people. But honestly, just closing your eyes and lying still can give you rest. And even if you don’t don’t manage to successfully get a night of sleep, if you don’t just get up at three am and watch an entire season of The Simpsons I promise you’ll feel better. Close your eyes, think positive thoughts, and you’ll feel better in six hours.
6:16 - Often at night is when your mental health can feel its lowest because the world kind of falls away and you’re left alone with the thoughts you’ve been pushing to the back of your mind, but the one thing I’d say is you always feel better in the morning. If you’re ever laying awake in the darkness thinking everything is really bad - honestly, sometimes if you get a good nights sleep, you’ll have a totally different outlook in the morning. So it’s the toughest time to get through but if you do, I promise you’ll feel better.
Dealing with Trolls and Bullies
How do you deal with bullies and trolls?
:55 - It’s safe to say that as someone who’s spent their entire life on the internet, I’ve seen some stuff. You just need to remind yourself that you’re valid, you’re fine, you’re doing nothing wrong bothering these people by simply existing, and the best thing to do is just to mute them and let them stream into the void as you go about your day. You feel powerful.
2:26 - I think naturally people get defensive when you imply that anything they’ve done or said might be wrong. So sometimes - it depends on the person - it can be better to message them privately and just go, hey, I don’t know if you mean to say this, but this can be really hurtful because this. And someone might feel less embarrassed or called out publicly. Then again, depending on what someone does, they might just need a smackdown in the middle of a facebook chain with your grandma. So take it upon yourself - I believe in you. Do the right thing.
How do you react to LGBTQ-phobic family members?
2:51 - If you feel comfortable - you don’t have to put up with this. Remind yourself of that. You’re doing nothing wrong. It’s not your responsibility. But if you see that someone can be reached - sometimes just talking to them, empathizing with them, letting them know what the truth really is and talking to them patiently, you can redeem somebody. I have old people in my family that they said something at the dinner table and I’ve gone - that’s a yikes, grandad, but let me explain why. Five minutes later, it’s all cool. So take it upon yourself to redeem your problematic family. I believe in you.
How do you react to members of the LGBTQ community who make prejudiced comments?
4:09 - Here’s something that’ll blow your mind: just because someone’s lgbtq, doesn’t mean they can’t be a piece of shit in a load of other ways.
5:16 - We all have struggles, as lgbtq people. So if someone says something that is in some way harmful just say to them - come on. Like, do one step with your brain. How would you feel if someone said this to you about this thing that you relate to? Talk to them as a human. Get them to understand, and then hopefully they can change the way that they act and become a better person.
7:17 - Even a few years ago on the internet, a lot of people had a lot of fun - even within the lgbtq community - speculating about, you know, celebrity’s relationships and their sexualities. As someone that was in the closet, I found that really hard because I thought that there were these people that kinda had good intentions but then they were really affecting my mental health with the speculation and I’ve seen people in real life that they watched my forty-five minute long coming out video (sorry about that) and they said to me, you know, I didn’t realize at the time what this could do to people and how it can be harmful. You know, I thought I was an ally, I thought I was a good person doing the right thing, so I just want to say sorry that I did that. This wasn’t something that I was expecting. I wasn’t telling myself that I deserve that. But to hear people say that to me really felt like - is the world becoming a better place? Should we be hopeful for the future? It’s a nice story.
Finding Your Tribe
What do you do when you are lonely?
:54 - I feel like if I’m ever in my life feeling isolated on an island where there aren’t enough people around me that kind of share my perspective I go onto the internet. I watch the shows. I listen to queer pop stars. I watch Drag Race. I just see what my friends are up to on instagram, and I go - there are people out there. They exist. There’s a world out there that’s just like me, and that makes me feel better.
How can you find your lgbtq tribe?
2:09 - There is a lot about the internet that’s terrible, but a good thing is that you can find people that are like you. Similar interests - if you have a favorite tv show, if you have a favorite music artist, go on Twitter, go on Facebook, go on Reddit. Join a community of people that share your interests and it’ll just make you feel so much better. Even if you’re digitally socializing with these people, if you have a connection with somebody - even if it’s a message saying, are you okay? That can be just as important as a real life relationship. So definitely go out there onto the internet and forge relationships with people online. Some of my best friends are internet friends.
How has the lgbtq community helped you?
4:46 - When I was on tour in 2018 it was before I’d come out and I’d taken a break from Youtube because I knew that I couldn’t put myself out there anymore. I couldn’t create any more as a person until I addressed my sexuality. So it was a tough summer for me because I was putting myself so much socially, but I felt like I had this big secret. And one of the lifelines for me was Drag Race because obviously no one would shut up about it. I’d never watched a single episode. So on a tour bus I watched every single episode of Drag Race and Untucked from 1 to 10. And even though as silly as it sounds, seeing a bunch of drag queens crying while putting on makeup - it was like a lifeline to me. It made me feel less alone, it made me feel seen, and just seeing these people that were thriving so loud and proud out there - it made me feel better.
6:31 - There’s nothing wrong with asking anyone you know the simple question - are you okay? At any point. Because you never know when they might need it. If you have a friend that seems like they’re more distant than usual, if they’re drawing away, if they don’t want to hang out as much, or if they’re just being quieter on social media… there might not be anything wrong. They might just be busy getting on with their life. But just say - hi, how are you doing? Lets just talk. It’s the awkward question that so many people feel like they don’t wanna ask it. They’re afraid to be asked it. But the moment one person does it, maybe it was the branch they were looking for the whole time. So be that person for your friend and then hopefully they’ll be there for you, too.
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I think they're really cute! There are lots I like - all the 'pets' are there, Norman, Steve and Straggy OTP, thinking emoji Phil, surprised pikachu phil, yee-with-a-quiff, a few lovely rainbow ones, the vase, the flame eyes one which just cracks me up, dabbing Phil, Janice ... 
