Dan & Phil Part 85: the phildom

[plinthofmylife]

I'm sorry I have all these feels and I have no box to put them in.

(how the heck am I supposed to get anything done for the rest of the day?)

[Lucyrg95]

I’m speechless at how perfect the video is. I want everyone to watch it no matter who they are or if they know dan or not, the points he made were so important and it was done so well. I’m so, so happy for him.

[Amnabell2010]

First time poster, came to write my thoughts down. Don't want to disrupt the celebration too much though!

So happy Dan posted, it was seriously an amazing video. For me the best hes ever made.

A few things I thought id mention here (since if im honest it goes against his rhetoric of leaving him alone).

A past "vday vid analysis" i read on tumblr years ago really confirmed for me that phan had happened around 2010, but given the context its truly a lovely story.

however, dan also at the end says mutuals should slide in. I think thats about as obvious as hell get to saying that hes single.

Also, a thing he slipped in before posting his families positive messages to his coming out "the family i have left"

hes seriously strong no matter what

[alittledizzy]

So very very proud. I’m only left with a couple questions... has he been out for a while to Phil’s family (I’d think so), and I’m trying not to over think it but why did he say “cute mutuals know to slide into his DMs”... was he only referring to his romantic relationship with Phil in the past tense? *ugh, shut up brain! Just enjoy the moment!*

It's Dan, and Dan just - makes jokes.

I think he did a really fantastic job of not ignoring Phil or their relationship but also making it very clear that he and Phil do not want to monetize their relationship and that they're both private people. That statement he made was not in past tense - it was perfectly present tense. Since I just posted it on tumblr (just before turning anon off because I really want to be thinking about Dan now) I'll past it here, too:

This is when through the magic of the internet, I met Phil. And obviously we were more than friends - but it was more than just romantic. This is someone that genuinely liked me. I trusted them. And for the first time since I was a tiny child, I actually felt safe. And the relationship we formed at that point was something that I needed in my life. We are real best friends. Companions through life. Like - actual soulmates. Not that souls are a real thing that exist. It’s so lucky to just find someone you can be that compatible with, and especially to anyone that has experienced the kind of self hatred I’ve dealt with - one person accepting you can make all the difference.

And I bet so many people wanna know so much about that, which, honestly - I take as a compliment. But here’s the thing - I’m somebody that wants to keep the details of my personal life private. So is Phil. I know lots of people these days, thanks to social media, want to share and monetize every aspect of their life and then as soon as something changes it’s this huge drama because everybody got invested in the story of your life like it’s a soap opera. I don’t want that. I want to do certain things without an audience.

He couldn't be more clearly addressing Phil, what Phil is to him, the nature of their relationship, and specifically why he is not addressing more about them as a couple within the video even though people do have questions about it. So a one liner tossed in at the end does not phase me in the slightest. It's Dan, and Dan's always got jokes.

Now to actually address more about the purpose of the video: I'm just proud as fuck right now, of Dan and everything Dan's been through and I'm so happy he's at a place in his life where this is the kind of content is what he wants to put out in the world. It's blunt and honest and hopeful and raw and I really need to watch it again to process it and have more fully formed thoughts.

[Ablissa]

I haven't watched the whole video but I'm just immensely proud and touched and just... wow. I relate to him so hard right now and I hate that he was at such low points in his life, but I only admire him more for who he is now. I've watched him and Phil for 7? years and I feel like I've been on this journey with him (in a way I have been on a similar one), and it's just... He's out there. He made it. He survived. He's still struggling but he found courage, and he is so grown and so wonderful.

I feel a lot of love for Dan right now. More than words can say.

[ravenreyes]

okay, i've watched the entire video now and it was so well done. i'm just speechless.
there are so many things i could comment on, but for now all i have to say is that i'm happy for him and how far he's come. and i'm so, so proud of him.

now i'm going to cry some more and watch it again, bc even though i haven't had the same experiences there were a lot of things i related to.

[sonicgreen]

this sent me over the brink im really crying

[proudpanda]

I can't watch the whole thing I'm at a birthday party/BBQ! Can someone please do me a huge favor and drop some important moment timestamps so I can sneak to the bathroom and get my fix or at least know some general things before I can watch the entire thing?

1.Where does he mention what he identifies as?
2.Does he mention Phil at all (sorry I don't want to make it about "that" but if it's brought up and either confirmed or not, I'm in the dark here and am happy for him either way!)
3.Apparently he mentions suicide? Oh Dan What moment is this?

I can't contain my feelings and pride!

[dontpanic]

[anonymousdork]

I just finished. I wish I had this video three years ago when I was in so much pain about my sexuality. I'm so glad I have it now. I wish everyone in the world could see this. I love him, I'm so, so proud of him, and happy that he finally felt ready to share this. Can I just say how much I fucking adored how Hector's drawings too???

[rizzo]

this sent me over the brink im really crying

I thought I was shook before but HERE WE ARE AGAIN WTF

[Mia]

Phil's tweets, I am crying

[goodbants]

I feel so much closer to him. I feel like there isn’t this awkward air, this disconnect between him and us anymore. I can relate a whole bunch and I just love him a thousand times more now. Oh what I would do to get a chance to meet him at vidcon this year...

[intoapuddle]

I put this on tumblr but I thought it was relevant here, too.

Transcription of Dan’s new video between 22:15 to 25:14 (under spoiler in case you haven't watched it)

This was when, through the magic of the internet, I met Phil.

Obviously, we were more than friends, but it was more than just romantic. This is someone that genuinely liked me. I trusted them, and for the first time since I was a tiny child, I actually felt safe.

The relationship that we formed, at that point, was something that I needed in my life. We are real best friends. Companions through life. Like, actual soulmates. (Not that souls are a real thing that exists.)

It’s so lucky to just find someone that you can be that compatible with. Especially to anyone that has experienced the kind of self hatred that I have dealt with. One person accepting you can make all the difference.

I bet so many people want to know so much more about that, which honestly, I take as a compliment. But here’s the thing; I’m somebody that wants to keep the details of my personal life private. So is Phil.

I know lots of people these days, thanks to social media, want to share and monetise every aspect of their life and then as soon as something changes suddenly has this huge drama because everybody got invested in the story of your life like it’s a soap opera—

I don’t want that.

I want to do certain things without an audience. I want to be spontaneous. I don’t want to feel afraid to take risks. I want to be able to enjoy totally fucking something up and not have to post a public statement about it. If anyone thinks that anyone really has to share these things about their life, you need to rethink your position.

And look, I understand that sex is a fun and interesting thing to talk about. I get it - I’m also a disgusting pervert. The specific [?] of “who are they fucking? When, where, how long..” It is… I mean…

Sexuality is a general fact that can be very useful to know about a person for several reasons, but we can’t force people to disclose that either. We don’t know this person’s life story; What they’ve been through, if they haven’t told people, if they’ll lose their job, if they’re in danger. There are so many reasons someone might not be open about it.

We can preach the message that being out is good, but aggressively speculating or trying to out someone is really bad. They might not be gay, in which case we’re just harrassing someone and probably stereotyping, and if they are, there’s gonna be a reason why they haven’t talked about it.

So I don’t want to see any responses to me finally talking about this like,

“No one is surprised.” “Dan, we been knew.”

Wow, you huge galaxy brain genius, what’s it like walking around with all those brain cells in there working over-time? What, you’ve got like three in there? Wow, don’t lose your balance, mastermind.

I haven’t really been subtle, have I?

(clip from collab with Louise and the disstrack)

That’s not the point. I’m already dead inside so it doesn’t matter here, but to me if someone’s reaction to someone coming out is just “yeah, I knew” they’re showing no empathy towards the issue or that person. They’re just making it about themselves like it was a fun piece of gossip they already knew.

All we have to do is listen and be accepting.

[parallel]

oh my god......,,,,,, YALL

I haven't been on IDB in a looong time and had basically stopped interacting with or caring about D&P but seeing that a new DINOF had been uploaded brought me back.

I'm so proud of Dan. I can't articulate how much strength it must have taken to upload this considering everything—considering the context of all this, of the past, of his audience in the present.

Honestly, what surprised me was that Dan hadn't come out to his family until this month. I had always gotten the impression that he was out to those in his personal life for some reason.

But yeah. Super proud of Dan and super proud of Phil.

I also sincerely hope that nobody tries to pull a "we been knew" or anything. That's not the point. (Not saying that anyone is doing that; thankfully haven't seen any yet. Just saying so because this has always been a fear of mine wrt what might happen if D and/or P came out.)

[000dia000]

Fucking hell. I don't even want to comment on the video or individual aspects of it because it was so personal to Dan. Dan's words about his own audience harming him really stuck with me. I personally don't even want to "celebrate" this video as some kind of milestone for the "Phandom" but as one for Dan. It took a lot of courage to do that, and it was really hammered home with him saying how he only came out to his family this month. No matter how much we think we "know", we don't really know anything at all. While I wasn't there in 2011 or 2012 to sort of be the group of people to talk about him and "out" him, I still feel a kind of disgust with myself with how in the last couple of years I have openly conversed with internet people on his sexuality and relationship with Phil that I was effectively keeping the conversation going and keeping the spirit alive. I think inadvertently I was part of the collective that was damaging Dan. I can't go Hah! I knew all along! " like Dan said, because I really didn't, and I'd undermine the strength that it took for him to come out.

Anyways, nows not the time. This video really struck me as a closeted person. Really. Thanks Dan.

[Luu]

I AM SO FUCKING PRUD I LOVE THIS HUMAN WITH MY WHOLE HEART


I can't even articulate a proper sentence rn, I'm still processing everything. omg I was crying and shaking the whole time. Some partes were too relatable for me.

[annabanana]

I am so so proud of Dan for sharing this part of himself with the internet. The video was amazing. I relate so hard to his whole back and forth of not knowing how the fuck to identify himself and whether it really even matters. His childhood story broke my heart and I can't even imagine the strength it took to get through all of that. Dan deserves all the love and appreciation in the world and I hope he is feeling that right now.

[PolarFox]

I just wanted to pop on-line here after so long to say that I love Dan and I’m so, so proud of him the video hit so close to home in many aspects and I think this makes me admire Dan a lot. Truly blessed June.

[Lyan]

i love him so much
i'm so so proud of him... and i missed him /so much/ i hadn't even realized how much i missed him until he started speaking. i understand why he went away but im just so glad he came back. he has come so far....! he survived all of that and he made it through and i just.
if he can, i can. the video is so hopeful ;____; i'm so glad he made it bc it will help a lot of people

[glitterintheair]

I don't know how you can type proper sentences because my brain just shut down. I am just so happy for Dan. And proud.

[asnazzyphil]

wow. that video was just wow. im so so proud of him that must have been an incredibly difficult video to make, not only just to come out but to relive those painful memories. it definitely makes me appreciate that although my own journey to accepting myself hasn't been easy, he's gone through so much worse

it struck so close to home since I only came out to most people in my life a few days ago and it might have given me the courage I needed to come out to my own parents sometime soon, so on the off chance that dan is reading this thank you

[malday]

I loved this video.
I loved the humor, the sarcasm and, especially, the anger he displayed.
A lot of parts of his story stuck cords with me, but he was never more relatable as in the parts where he showed visible anger/hurt/resentment.

He was a whole ass raw emotional human in this video, i hope he feels free.

[Ewok]

had to pop back in after well over a year of inactivity both on IDB and within the phandom in general to just express my sheer pride... i can’t believe the video i watched is real. i’m so endlessly proud of him. i don’t think he’s ever made a better, more poignant video. ever. this was beautiful. gosh.

also... phil’s tweet? dan’s description box on that video... there is more to come? gosh. wow.

happy pride, indeed.

[lilabet]