Dan & Phil Part 87: post coming out universe

[LtrllySusan]

You guys... as a crafty person, this fills my heart with joy. Just imaging Dan at the couch table, with Phil playing games in the background, making that shirt... Probably being perfectionistic, perhaps a bit frustated, but then also so excited..

Too bad he didn't wear it for the parade

[Possum]

I woke up an hour ago, so I just caught up on everything. Dan looks the happiest I've ever seen him in all of his pictures! I'm just so proud of him for being able to march for something he believes in, and finally being able to embrace himself after everything he's been through!

I was a bit surprised not to see Phil there, but he never said he was going, so I'm not disappointed or anything. Also, no one has to go to pride, or be a loud, spokesperson-type activist to support a cause, or be an activist in the same way as their partner- no matter how out/well-known they are. There are other ways to give time/money/support

Anyway. I'm loving the skeleton shirt, especially knowing he glued the sequins on himself!

[GalaxyDarling]

The skeleton and death vibes Dan has had for a while are tad depressing, but at least the skeleton had hand-placed rainbow sequins on it, and the pride placard had the Queer in those colors, so those colors must be inside of him. I hope that side of him will come out more too.

[knq]

You guys... as a crafty person, this fills my heart with joy. Just imaging Dan at the couch table, with Phil playing games in the background, making that shirt... Probably being perfectionistic, perhaps a bit frustated, but then also so excited..

Too bad he didn't wear it for the parade

This reminded me of the final Dan Vs. Phil when Dan crafted the crown from the presents Phil crushed with his ass.

I just woke up and I'm not caught up with all the pride photos but I'm going to say anyway, Dan looks so brilliantly happy.

[starwatersong]

Too bad he didn't wear it for the parade

I’m very glad he didn’t wear it for the parade and supported a group instead. But I’m also happy he found time to wear it afterwards.

He looks wonderful.

[bluecaterpillar]

the rainbow sequin skeleton shirt is the most dan thing ever, love it! also, impressed at the effort he put into making it. what with that and his placard, he's done a pretty good recreation of the art in his video of skeletons at the pride parade (and accompanying voiceover).

more dan at pride material:

ngl i would have loved to see phil at pride, and for him to use his platform in a more political way like what dan does, but if he doesn't want to do that kind of thing in public then he's not obliged to make it a focus of his online presence. i mean, the whole vibe of his coming-out video was 'keep it lowkey'. and like others have said, we don't know what they do offline/in their private lives wrt to any kind of activism.

as for dan's sign being too jokey/self-centred - he recently came out in a 45 minute video where he discussed many heavy topics relating to growing up lgbt with the seriousness and respect that they deserve. not to mention he marched alongside mermaids and black pride and did that twitter video for stonewall! i think he's more than earned a good day waving a fun placard in a pride march. after all, part of the power of pride and what makes it so affirming (for me, at least) is that for one day, you can surround yourself with a huge crowd of lgbt people who feel free to express themselves and proudly wave rainbow flags in everyone's faces.

[GalaxyDarling]

I like the V-neck that the unbuttoned blouse collar creates; perfect for well-defined clavicles like his.

[knq]

Saw this tweet and thought it was sweet. From meet and greets and Rize and now Pride, Dan's default is to immediately compliment the people he's meeting.

[lionandllama]

I’d like to add Byrony’s tweet to the current discussion:

There could be multiple, very different reasons for Phil not attending the Pride parade but the one thing I immediately thought of is that we know that he has social anxiety. On multiple occasions he let us know that he’s a very anxious, introverted person and large, massive crowds like the one at Pride London can be hell for people like Phil.

I am still a mess of many emotions right now. It was an incredibly exciting day for us gays.
I’m so very proud and happy that Dan marched with Mermaids UK and Black Pride UK. He really used his impact where it matters the most.

[flarequake]

Uhf, I love his jacket and that he stuck the sequins on himself. 4 hours, there’s some patience. Such a cute

[eevee]

Saw this tweet and thought it was sweet. From meet and greets and Rize and now Pride, Dan's default is to immediately compliment the people he's meeting.

lmao Dan, appreciate the makeup!!!!!

Sad to hear he left in a cab, I hope he comes back for the parties!

[knq]

Something I wish we'd all keep in mind more often when we're going to go off on Dan or Phil for something they've done or some personality trait we perceive them to have (and it happens periodically, so I'm not just addressing phanfckingtastic who I understand is suffering right now) is that Dan and Phil probably won't read what we write, but other members of the phandom absolutely will, and people are part of the phandom because we relate to Dan and Phil. You're probably not going to make Phil feel bad for not marching at Pride, but you might make someone on his forum feel bad. And yes, you can always qualify these hot takes with 'they're millionaires and my criticisms are only meant for millionaires' but not many millionaires are going to hear your criticisms. Just us.

[sapienveneficus]

Gosh, that rainbow skeleton sweatshirt Dan made was really on brand! I wonder if Bryony helped. She made that conjoined pumpkin sweater for them so I'm guessing she's a bit crafty. It looks like Dan had an amazing first experience at London Pride. Good for him!

I am still wondering about Phil. Having thought about it a bit, it makes sense that he wouldn't have been marching with that group that Dan had joined up with as Phil does avoid doing anything political. But doesn't YouTube have an official presence at London Pride? I'm surprised he didn't join up with them. I guess I'm more surprised that he chose not to go at all. Even if parades aren't really his cup of tea, this was Dan's first one. I just assumed he'd be there to support him. So I'm really surprised to see that he wasn't.

[alittledizzy]

if you want to enjoy some Dan and Phil videos while we wait to see if they breathe more signs of life today, come join the next round of PhandomWatch!

[gnostic]

So i went to pride (still here in fact) and literally thought I hallucinated seeing Dan, good to see I didn't.

[citizen_erased]

I'm so happy for Dan! He was really beaming the whole day through, wasn't he. So happy he seems to have had a good first pride!

Going to put my Phil thoughts under spoiler to avoid raining on the parade with a not so positive take.

Happy pride London
Dan being there, great. Good for him. But that sign he’s holding is stupid, sorry. People are being killed. Rights being rolled back. It’s not all jokey and about yourself all the time, Howell. You’re almost 30 ffs.
Phil’s absence... yikes.

I don’t think Phil understands the world he lives in at all. People are done with vacuous celebrities. Does he intend to stay in entertainment avoiding mentions of anything that isn’t food animals or plants at all cost? Good luck with that in 2019, the year of the worldwide turmoil. And US elections next year? Ha!
Like, how detached can you get from defending your own rights and supporting your community, especially as a cis white (rich) gay? It’s not “controversial” or particularly “political”, it’s pretty basic stuff, it’s paying respect to people who gave their lives for your cushy lifestyle today.
Coming out to his audience after becoming a millionaire off teasing from the closet for a decade was nice & positive, but at this point the bare minimum.
Then not taking part in pride a few days later, while releasing merch in the meantime and profiting again off the wave of attention after coming out? a joke. People like Sam fucking Smith of insane international fame were there today. We gay men with a conscience simply have to do so. much. more. No excuses.
I can’t believe I used to like Phil so much. I think I was put under a spell, or something.
I will always be fond of their cute love story but if Phil wasn’t at pride at all and doesn’t even tweet an excuse or explanation I will be surprised if they make it as a couple another 2 or 3 years, and if he lasts that much as a public personality, too. All that influence and fame just to count money hiding away in your penthouse, keeping the output comfortably safe & lukewarm at all times? Meh.
Would be more than happy to be proven wrong. Until then, next!

I am sorry to hear about your boyfriend. That's a terrible situation, and I wish you both all the strength to get through this I understand you're angry and worried because of this.

However, it's not up to individual gay people to fix systemic social injustice. That's, technically, up to the straight people doing the harm. Besides, there are so many possible reasons why Phil wasn't there. Social anxiety, a merch issue that needs his attention, a headache, something else planned, maybe he just didn't want to. We just don't know. And we don't have to know. He's under no obligation to go to pride and be vocal about being gay just because he is gay. There are so many gay people out there who don't want or can't be loud about this, and no one should force anyone to. Some people just want to be entertainers, instead of Gay Entertainers, and they have every right to. There's a strength in that as well, in normalizing that the queer side of a person is just one side of a person, not their whole identity.

Personally, I also think making a coming out video for your millions of subscribers that's available to literally everyone online regardless of where they live, is much more powerful and impactful than walking in a parade with 30.000 others in one single city.

As for the "Dan, you're almost 30 ffs": fuck, hang on here. Is 30 some kind of magical cut-off point after which jokes are no longer allowed, ever? I'm turning 30 this year, and no one's informed me yet that I'm not allowed to make jokes anymore

[Mia]

Dan is in the background on Channel 4 News pride section, spotted his sign before I saw him

Ohh do you remember what time you saw him? I’ll try and catch it on plus one

I want to say 10-15 mins into the episode? Sorry I'm not sure. It's definitely in the middle of the pride section and before they interview Billy Porter. They're interviewing a guy in a yellow tshirt when you can spot Dan

[queerofcups]

Super proud of Dan, it's lovely how happy he looks. And I love the sweater, I love seeing him out a Pride spin on his personal aesthetic. I tend to think that a lot of post and enthusiasm over how proud! And how sweet! he is are a bit much but seeing the pictures from the parade this morning genuinely did warm my heart.

As for the other conversation happening. I think Phil, as someone who's gathered a massive amount of wealth and influence has an obligation to something beneficial for the public because fuck capitalism but as a gay person he's got no more obligation to go to pride than anyone else. Lots of people have said very smart things about why that expectation is messed up so I'll just say that saying that Phil not being at pride is a failure or somehow wrong doing, without qualification, doesn't damage him. Like, whatever he's a millionaire who is hopefully smart enough to not Google himself, but it sure does hurt people on this forum who maybe aren't out or maybe are out and don't have a desire or ability to go to a parade. It's a bit like telling them they're not good enough or doing it right for not doing a thing that the majority of queer folks don't do. So that's a bit messed up and I hope folks think twice about who's actually impacted by sweeping statements like that.

[bluecaterpillar]

Dan is in the background on Channel 4 News pride section, spotted his sign before I saw him

Ohh do you remember what time you saw him? I’ll try and catch it on plus one

I want to say 10-15 mins into the episode? Sorry I'm not sure. It's definitely in the middle of the pride section and before they interview Billy Porter. They're interviewing a guy in a yellow tshirt when you can spot Dan

it's on the channel 4 player here: https://www.channel4.com/programmes/cha ... /69214-187
dan and his sign make their brief appearance in the background at 13:52

[eevee]

I'm so happy for Dan! He was really beaming the whole day through, wasn't he. So happy he seems to have had a good first pride!

I am sorry to hear about your boyfriend. That's a terrible situation, and I wish you both all the strength to get through this I understand you're angry and worried because of this.

However, it's not up to individual gay people to fix systemic social injustice. That's, technically, up to the straight people doing the harm. Besides, there are so many possible reasons why Phil wasn't there. Social anxiety, a merch issue that needs his attention, a headache, something else planned, maybe he just didn't want to. We just don't know. And we don't have to know. He's under no obligation to go to pride and be vocal about being gay just because he is gay. There are so many gay people out there who don't want or can't be loud about this, and no one should force anyone to. Some people just want to be entertainers, instead of Gay Entertainers, and they have every right to. There's a strength in that as well, in normalizing that the queer side of a person is just one side of a person, not their whole identity.

Personally, I also think making a coming out video for your millions of subscribers that's available to literally everyone online regardless of where they live, is much more powerful and impactful than walking in a parade with 30.000 others in one single city.

As for the "Dan, you're almost 30 ffs": fuck, hang on here. Is 30 some kind of magical cut-off point after which jokes are no longer allowed, ever? I'm turning 30 this year, and no one's informed me yet that I'm not allowed to make jokes anymore

+1 +1 +1 +1 +1 +1 +1 +1 +1

[wells.kai]

I’d like to add Byrony’s tweet to the current discussion:

There could be multiple, very different reasons for Phil not attending the Pride parade but the one thing I immediately thought of is that we know that he has social anxiety. On multiple occasions he let us know that he’s a very anxious, introverted person and large, massive crowds like the one at Pride London can be hell for people like Phil.

I am still a mess of many emotions right now. It was an incredibly exciting day for us gays.
I’m so very proud and happy that Dan marched with Mermaids UK and Black Pride UK. He really used his impact where it matters the most.

Totally agree with this. I’ve wanted to go to Toronto pride for years but my anxiety just prohibits me for so many reasons. I’m happy Dan went to pride but we need to remember he has also talked about anxiety in his own way. I just hope they’re happy and don’t regret doing such a big thing.

[Phantasy]

I don’t want to pile on but my thoughts Re: “dnp aren’t doing pride right” are below

Not being front & center at pride or any public event does NOT equate complacency. We are not owed public displays of activism from these two. We don’t know what they do in their personal lives, from donating to voting to volunteering time/resources. And it is not anyones place to be policing how people show pride. Theres always going to be shit going on in the world, but you can’t force people to express emotions the way you want to see.

Agree with this sentiment, so I won’t add too much more...

A thought though, Dan is much more of a vocal activist, and he was there by invite—it was Dan’s day to shine and he did so brilliantly. If Phil was there marching it becomes a spectacle, everything turns into awww look Dan and Phil! Did their shoulders touch? I think I saw them hold hands! On top of that trying to coordinate pictures with everyone becomes a mess when you’re literally on the move.

And remember, Pride is different in the UK, it’s not all crammed into a month and London Pride is not the end all be all—perhaps, just perhaps, Phil would prefer to spend Pride with a larger group of friends, or when Dan isn’t part of the parade. PJ and Sofia attend Brighton Pride, and there’s Manchester Pride, which a few years ago happened to coincide with Phil’s class reunion, both cities they have connections with and could foreseeably participate in if they want.

[wells.kai]

I think we need to remember Dan and Phil didn't have to come out. They decided to so they could use their platforms to help people like us (or at least me). I understand people's points on money but I think we shouldn't bash on Phil for not being at pride. Maybe they will both go tomorrow?

Having extreme anxiety accompanied by depression PTSD autism and more I know what it's like to desperately want to go outside but you just can't. We cannot assume that Phil didn't go for any reason but I would like to point out this anxiety thing because if that's not the reason Phil wasn't there, it's still very real for a lot of people... beyond this I while I do believe Dan seemed to genuinely enjoying himself today (which I'm glad) I think we need to remember that even if someone is genuinely happy and laughing and smiling, that doesn't mean they aren't experiencing anxiety. I'm not sure if that last sentence made sense... What I mean is even though Dan genuinely seemed to be happy and enjoying himself, that doesn't mean he didn't have anxiety especially a build up in anticipation of today.

As I say, we can never assume. For example, I hoped maybe Dan and Phil would one day come out but I didn't think it would actually happen. Unless Dan and Phil directly share things with us, I don't think it's fair for anyone to assume things. Obviously having fun like speculating if they're moving or who they're road tripping with is a different context and story. What I'm talking about is the serious stuff that as Dan said in his video it's not okay to speculate about things. I mean in my mind, I speculate and think about many things. That is human nature we cannot control the ideas or thoughts that pop into our heads. What we can control is whether we share it with others and how we share it.

Maybe I'm completely out of line but I needed to say this I think.

None the less, super proud of Dan for making it today and I hope they're both still happy with their decisions to share personal stuff with the world.

[Ataraxia25]

Lovely HD picture of Dan

[nephilimcat]

You know what, if you cannot be bothered to go to pride that's valid too. If you're out to everyone and comfortable with who you are and healthy and your schedule allows it, that doesn't mean you have to go or else you're a bad person. Phil doesn't need an excuse or give an explanation and neither does any other queer person. This is what Dan must've meant when talking about why he wants to keep his private life private because he wants to be able to make mistakes without having to make a public statement. Once you're famous, anything you do is criticised by someone. Either you're not doing enough or you're doing it wrong. What a sad world honestly, Pride is a protest and a celebration. Both of that is important. But no queer person is required to participate.

I'm sorry about your boyfriend phanfckingtastic, but this happening to you doesn't give you the right to say stuff like that. Especially considering Dan has been physically attacked himself and severly bullied for being gay, pretty sure he knows how fucked up this world can be ...

Negativity aside, that smile on Dan's face makes me so happy! I went to my first pride this year and while it wasn't with fellow queer people in rainbow attire (which I hoped it would be) but instead only a short period of time absolutely exhausted with my straight friend after uni (and before that I had been at work) and we didn't even make it in time for the parade, just the celebration afterwards, it still made me so happy to see such a diverse group of queer people. I could see that in his face too