Dan & Phil Part 20: You are my Pikachu

[blueapple_x]

My heart is beating so damn fast...HE WENT IN.

I loved it.

[RachelPhan]

Yeah, I don't know, I'm confused, my brain can't compute... I mean to overuse a term... I literally can't even right now!

[idk]

that was art, tbh.

didn't think he'd go to 'phan'/sexuality but he did - incredible

[itsonlybeth]

Okay that was brilliant.

[Anonymousse]

Sooo...

What the fuck is your sexuality, Dan?

[kay]

oh my god oh my god okay it was funnier than I expected watching for the second time already

he absolutely went for it lmao

[bantstrash]

I fricken loved that.

And now back to the shadows for me.

[RachelPhan]

Yeah I've just watched it again and I still don't know. I'll wait for you lot to tell me how I feel about it!

[lilMango]

oh my god oh my god okay it was funnier than I expected watching for the second time already

he absolutely went for it lmao

oh but phil... why are your bedside tables so empty?

[blueapple_x]

This is what he said in the description:

10% fringe 90% cringe look forward to the whole mixtape dropping soon (joking)

Disclaimer - this really should be obvs but just in case this needs explaining: the point of a ‘Roast’ is to be as mean and negative as possible as it shows we all have a sense of humour and don't take ourselves seriously which is important. It also does not in any way convey someone’s actual opinion on something or the truth. This whole thing is a joke where I just desperately attempt to make things rhyme, so if anyone tries to take any of it seriously in any way I'll come to your house and deactivate you. I hope you bump this in the whip.

[chloek88]

That was amazing he didn't hold back he's shameless and I love him for it that was worth the wait my jaw is dropped and I can't form coherent thoughts about it yet but holy crap dan

[kay]

oh my god oh my god okay it was funnier than I expected watching for the second time already

he absolutely went for it lmao

oh but phil... why are your bedside tables so empty?

[SquishPhan]

oh my god oh my god okay it was funnier than I expected watching for the second time already

he absolutely went for it lmao

That picture is everything.
Although his beside tables are suspiciously empty.

[sassyinamorata]

oh my god im scared to watch it... welp.. here goes nothing. better tape my mouse to the ceiling so i dont try and pause because it makes the cringe last longer...

OH I FORGOT TO POST THIS BEFORE I WATCHED THIS, BUT HOLY SHIT.
i had a gut feeling he would call out his own sexuality and something about being problematic + shipping w/phil, but wow...... i have no words.

[Ticia]

I'm speechless. Speechless.

This video was so great I can't even form coherent phrases. Please let me get back to you all in 24 hours, when I sort myself out.

(And he was wearing the "twinsie" jacket he bought with Phil)

[tigertatze]

Ok the rapping was cringe. but

He talked about
1) being shipped
2) his sexuality
3) deleting stuff
4) MASTURBATING????

brb gonna rewatch like 10 times

edit: he definitely just came out. dan howell just came out. what. I never thought I would live to see the day.

I was so fucking afraid of him doing the RYC and just not being able to handle the cringe and I mean it was cringey (dat "rapping") but FUCK ME that was? good??

I actually said "holy shit" out loud when he talked about his sexuality

[missemma]

*watches 100753788643 times*

for me, this has to be one of the best DINOF videos, ever. I laughed the whole way through.

The lyrics incase anyone wanted them;

month without uploading he comes back with a tag - whoo
that no one even tagged him he’s not a challenge to drag - ouch
so prepare for an attack and by that i mean cringe - cringe
cause this motherfuckers bout to be dragged by his fringe

first things you’re freakishly tall it’s weird you look like a noodle - tru
you’ve got hair that was cool in 2007 and wet you just took like a poodle - hobbit
throw in a really annoying posh voice and yep that’s dan - posh
you’re what would happen if winnie the pooh fucked slender man

you procrastinate making videos, cause being judged is scary? - ooh
you’re so close to being forgotten, the hate’s imaginary - woah
the only reason you get views is you’re another white guy
that people ship with his friend cause they think it’s kawaii

oh
reasons why dan’s a fail
i’ll give you some

you never tweet you overeat all you do is cry and sleep
you’re jokes are shitposts and memes with no originality - uh huh
your family’s sad your flopped your law degree at university
and anything embarrassing that's from your past you just delete

you were vegan for like three weeks then what you missed the meat? - milk
wow i’m so impressed by your clear moral integrity
you try so hard to be peaceful and diplomatic
but can’t make toast without tumblr saying you’re problematic - boo

i could go on there’s more if i check
there’s more things on this list than chins on your neck
on your birthday you joked you were a quarter way to death
100? yeah when getting out of bed makes you out of breath - real

so your celebrity crush was j-law but now it’s evan p - mhmm
wtf even is your sexuality
it’s hard to put you in a box when you keep it so blurry - what is it
i think it’s just to hide that you’re secretly a furry

*cough*
i’m joking
obviously
..

okay that went deep
repress it? yup
before i start crying let’s wrap this shit up

i’m gonna go and masturbate, then cry into a slice of pizza - feelings
shout out to the other youtubers especially ryan higa
a cringe compilation mixed with cultural appropriation
met with no depreciation it’s the youtube nation - youtubeee

click subscribe, if you wanna watch 4 videos a year - or 3
to see my last one from 10 years ago just click over here - fail
so leave a comment with your reaction you can call me a liar
cause you just witnessed the roast danisnotonfire

[boredtears]

I need a slowed 50 gif break down of every part of that video, stat.

Dan fuck

THAT WAS SO REAL FFS HE LITERALLY DID NOT HOLD BACK AT ALL IM DEAD FUCK THIS HAS BEEN A COHERENT POST DANISNOTONFIRE LIVES

[SquishPhan]

This is what he said in the description:

10% fringe 90% cringe look forward to the whole mixtape dropping soon (joking)

Disclaimer - this really should be obvs but just in case this needs explaining: the point of a ‘Roast’ is to be as mean and negative as possible as it shows we all have a sense of humour and don't take ourselves seriously which is important. It also does not in any way convey someone’s actual opinion on something or the truth. This whole thing is a joke where I just desperately attempt to make things rhyme, so if anyone tries to take any of it seriously in any way I'll come to your house and deactivate you. I hope you bump this in the whip.

Yeah not sure what to make of this, nor his comment on people shipping him with his friend. I'm convinced that Dan is bi, but somehow this made me not so sure about Phan being real. I'm having a lot of feelings about this very short video.

[starlight-still]

...yooooo

I don't even have an emoji for tha-....whaaat?

Guys.

This.

Just.

What.

I howled when I saw how many people were on.

Yeah.

Um.


I'm gonna need to process this one.

[Cora]

Holy hell, I stand corrected. That was actually not cringe at all. How? HOW?!

First of all, kudos to him for actually laying into himself and not just in a PG DINOF way, especially the super fast list part. I was not expecting that.
Secondly, dang he actually laid down a fairly decent track. He didn't go all tone deaf and off beat in a 100% ALL WHITE MEAT way like Grace Helbig.

Dan, you still got me babe. Get over here, you big Slendy oaf.

[iero]

i was staring at a paused screen for 2 minutes before i even played the video because i wasn't prepared for the cringe.
i actually didn't rly cringe at all lol but i wish he uploaded a longer vid than around two mins but whatever at least it's a video. he went in omfg
highlight was the sexuality mention. phil's cameo would've been even better if he was on dan's bed.

[Rigby]

Omg I was so scared of watching this and I'm really glad he didn't hold back but now I feel weird? Definitely did not expect him to mention masturbation lol WHAT IS GOING ON

[Kathrynxjane]

I was this close to falling asleep but I am so glad I didn't.

That was just. Wow. It is hard to put into words what I think about that video. It is all just too much.... I thought I would be cringing but I wasn't!
Shipping. His sexuality.....

Tbh Phil on the bed just topped it all off.

Daniel James Howell. I am sorry i ever doubted you.

[Lurktacularr]

Fuck. I tolllllllld you guys I thought he could go all in and do something decent! Where do I collect my prize money? i'm jk

I was kiiiiind of surprised he mentioned the shipping (and will always hate Phil being referred to as his 'friend' even if my logical brain knows there's no other way to reference him without basically coming out). But I was PROPER surprised he mentioned his sexuality so unambiguously. Like, he actually said the word 'sexuality' and that did surprise me.

How do we feel about the masturbation line? That whole 'I'm so single all I do is masturbate and eat junk food at home' shtick is something they've never really played up to so I was surprised by that too, albeit in a different way.

But all in all, that was fuckin great

edit blueapple_x woah I hadn't noticed the description yet. Verrrry interesting. Now what is he trying to caveat there? To me likely lines are shipping him and his friend (neither confirm nor deny boys... embody Kate Moss) or him being a furry as people do seem to take that quite seriously lol.