Dan & Phil Part 35: knock knock, who’s there, i hate you

[Anonymousse]

Y'all gone crazy

Look what Dan and Phil have done!

[flarequake]

Shift rota and a room per platform has me too. It helps to be a little mad here, eh.

[missemma]

And nothing for the dead remains of GG.

Hahaha this made me laugh out loud, cue funny looks from my other half.

IDBers please never change.

[Philena]

I am 2 weeks away from dropping a a large sum of money on a local real estate investment. Wonder if I can talk my partner into a lucrative overseas option instead?

Omg, melonlord!

[isabella]

omg i just opened the thread to see if there was any drama or anything happening in deppy's absence and this is what i come back to never change, idb.

[lishachi]

YES - AP rebranding is honestly the #1 thing I am looking forward to in 2017 (closely followed by DINOF cutting down on the 'it's black like my soul' jokes).

One thing I did want to bring up though - someone mentioned pages back that Phil's family was quite "northern/traditional" while discussing of Phil's internalisation/understanding of nonbinary genders. (not in a bad way! just that he seemed to be raised in the typical """good English family"""" with the typical values) and I was wondering how his upbringing would impact the way he expects himself to act once he turns 30. Personally, I think there's nothing wrong with him living w/ Dan forever and ever but that's just me

In society, one is expected to start thinking about settling down with a spouse and kids at the age of 30 - which means in 2017 the general public are going to increasingly question his relationship with Dan. I'm quite curious to see how he reacts to societal expectations (which could also tie in with his rebranding). I would hate for him to cave under the pressure and move out (ever since i saw the psychic grandma predict Phil moving out video I've been so paranoid) but at the same time they've always mentioned each other in their plans for the future? Not to mention Phil moving out would hurt the very specific brand that Deppy's built up.

(Sorry if this is completely incoherent it is 1am here and I am just Sleep Deprived Af)

ive been thinking alot about this too. im very curious to see if he changes/how he reacts if he gets comments about his age/relationships/future/having a family. he doesn't necessarily have to comment on any of it, however im sure he'll get asked in some capacity.

society sucks sometimes, i get looked down by my family for not wanting children in the future which really annoys me. i spose thats the norm to 'grow up' and 'settle down' but it shouldnt have to be and it isnt for a lot of people. perhaps phil doesnt want to settle down yet or maybe he does. i mean really you dont have to settle down (have kids, get married etc) ever, its personal imo. i just hope he's happy and doesnt feel forced.

I say we just go incognito and hide in the plants/other disguises so we can live free and creep fully

We're everywhere


in their office



in their kitchen


in their rooms


in their sofa crease


under their bed



...


even under their doorstep mat

And when deppy suddenly arrive home...

jesus christ

[lurker]

what if all this talk about lurking in deppy's apartment has inspired someone to travel back in time and secretly move in with them in 2012. we now live in an alternate reality where this person has been trapped in there for all this time, not being able to feed on anything but dan's cereal. this has caused dan to get progressively angrier with phil, ultimately resulting in the time traveller causing #phandivorce, which is again discussed on idb.

[000dia000]

And then if you're going to go to Tumblr, you might as well have a room designated for each platform-maybe Tumblr the living room, IDB the kitchen, twitter the bedroom, instagram the bathroom and the poor reddit phandom the utility closet.

Reflecting on this, I'm considering the logistics of this and have come to the conclusion that cohabitation amongst the platforms will probably not work. Due to people co-existing on multiple platforms, they'll eventually have to pick a side, otherwise we'll have to let them go. They cannot be sharing memes with the enemy. Due to the impending terf war of this decision, I believe that our current location of the kitchen is logistically the ideal location in terms of food access, #storage and running water, any other utilities can be replaced by a blanket, a bucket and a window.

[flarequake]

And then if you're going to go to Tumblr, you might as well have a room designated for each platform-maybe Tumblr the living room, IDB the kitchen, twitter the bedroom, instagram the bathroom and the poor reddit phandom the utility closet.

Reflecting on this, I'm considering the logistics of this and have come to the conclusion that cohabitation amongst the platforms will probably not work. Due to people co-existing on multiple platforms, they'll eventually have to pick a side, otherwise we'll have to let them go. They cannot be sharing memes with the enemy. Due to the impending terf war of this decision, I believe that our current location of the kitchen is logistically the ideal location in terms of food access, #storage and running water, any other utilities can be replaced by a blanket, a bucket and a window.

Wow, this is getting serious.

Also a plot twist that exonerates Phil of all cereal shenanigans. He'd think he must be stealing it in his sleep or going crazy

[kuensukki]

i was laughing so much i rolled off my bed and hit my head.. thanks guys melly those gifs killed me

[karma_yeah]

Clearly we need content!!

I IDB

[melon lord]

Wow, this is getting serious.

Also a plot twist that exonerates Phil of all cereal shenanigans. He'd think he must be stealing it in his sleep or going crazy

what if all this talk about lurking in deppy's apartment has inspired someone to travel back in time and secretly move in with them in 2012. we now live in an alternate reality where this person has been trapped in there for all this time, not being able to feed on anything but dan's cereal. this has caused dan to get progressively angrier with phil, ultimately resulting in the time traveller causing #phandivorce, which is again discussed on idb.

An IDB member has invented a time machine and travels back to their move to London. They live up in the storage attic space, occassionally coming downstairs for cereal, which Dan blames Phil for. Phil knows it's not him, and even their baking video snacks seem to be less than usual. Their Ribena finishes faster than they calculate. For some reason, memory card space always seems lower, but when they check the card, it seems fine. A missing charger cable, which is later found at a random location, with no explanation. A cupboard accidentally left open, and Phil takes the hit for that.

The police have suspicions of this heinous act, and they drive past almost every night, their sirens blaring, trying to spot the perpetrator. But to no avail. Wifi companies can't figure out why their internet connection speed sucks so much when it's only two people using it. Their TATINOF props tend to shift a bit, as though moved, but nothing so much to raise awareness. Sometimes you hear noises through walls, but it surely must be the neighbour.

I am 2 weeks away from dropping a a large sum of money on a local real estate investment. Wonder if I can talk my partner into a lucrative overseas option instead?

Omg, melonlord!

i was laughing so much i rolled off my bed and hit my head.. thanks guys melly those gifs killed me

thanks you guys The lack of content has been getting to me a lil bit

[Catallena]

Clearly we need content!!

I IDB

Nah I think we're good :')

[Waggle9007]

An IDB member has invented a time machine and travels back to their move to London. They live up in the storage attic space, occassionally coming downstairs for cereal, which Dan blames Phil for. Phil knows it's not him, and even their baking video snacks seem to be less than usual. Their Ribena finishes faster than they calculate. For some reason, memory card space always seems lower, but when they check the card, it seems fine. A missing charger cable, which is later found at a random location, with no explanation. A cupboard accidentally left open, and Phil takes the hit for that.

The police have suspicions of this heinous act, and they drive past almost every night, their sirens blaring, trying to spot the perpetrator. But to no avail. Wifi companies can't figure out why their internet connection speed sucks so much when it's only two people using it. Their TATINOF props tend to shift a bit, as though moved, but nothing so much to raise awareness. Sometimes you hear noises through walls, but it surely must be the neighbour.

Omg keep going, I'm too invested

[simmehchan]

I'm hoping now more than ever that lurk here

[collbeez]

And then if you're going to go to Tumblr, you might as well have a room designated for each platform-maybe Tumblr the living room, IDB the kitchen, twitter the bedroom, instagram the bathroom and the poor reddit phandom the utility closet.

Reflecting on this, I'm considering the logistics of this and have come to the conclusion that cohabitation amongst the platforms will probably not work. Due to people co-existing on multiple platforms, they'll eventually have to pick a side, otherwise we'll have to let them go. They cannot be sharing memes with the enemy. Due to the impending terf war of this decision, I believe that our current location of the kitchen is logistically the ideal location in terms of food access, #storage and running water, any other utilities can be replaced by a blanket, a bucket and a window.

1. I concur that the kitchen would be the ideal spot for us.
2. I'm shocked that the reddit phandom is a thing that exists.

[secretagentphan]

(Gotta love the pepe Silva meme coming on idb lol) these bants we're having are truly in depth lmao

[000dia000]

I'm shocked that the reddit phandom is a thing that exists.

/r/Danisnotonfire/
posts approx 3 times a month, same people, no conversation
/r/Amazingphil/
posts once a month, no conversation
/r/danandphil/
haha, posts...?
There are more Dan and Phil mentions in /r/LadyBoners/ than on their own reddits tbh, you'd think with all the lurking Dan does he would make some establishment in the reddit made for him? The phandom "exists" on reddit, but are mostly "reluctant" fans, most of their statements starting with "idk why I like them...[something about tumblr]...."

[melon lord]

Omg keep going, I'm too invested

Sometimes you can spot a tiny, flashing red dot in the background of their videos... almost like a camera is recording. But they are Youtubers, cameras are all over the house, they think nothing of it, probably just a reflection from outside. At night, is it footsteps? or the floor creaking? whatever it is, it may stir their deep sleep, they don't pay attention to the door slowly creaking open, they don't feel the incoming breeze as a figure walks into their room at night and watches them

but it disappears in a flash. before you can even wake up enough to register what's going on, all you notice is the door swaying slightly by itself, and they think damn, didn't close the door again.

Restrained giggles from various points in the house, it's young, and likely female. Dan never believed in ghosts or the supernatural, Phil however has stepped up on his game, being extra careful to not put new shoes on the table, not to cross your fork and knife, or clip your nails on a Sunday. "Dan, I swear I didn't eat your cereal!" Phil cries out in frustration; only nut crumbs are left from Dan's box, but there's no way Phil can prove his innocence. All those years of being a cereal thief have caught up to him.

They notice some fans are... oddly aware of some things. Small habits, what showergel they bought, that kind of stuff. "Do you think someone has been following us?" Dan asks Phil over their morning coffee. He was perusing twitter and noticed an untagged thread of tweets between some phans about a brand they happen to also use. "Nah, I don't think so. I mean, we order everything online! Nobody sees us choose our products, Dan. You're just being paranoid now", Phil says with a strained voice, even though it's also affecting him.

"It's also finishing up a lot faster than usual," Dan commented, sipping his last mouthful and his eyes glancing at Phil over the mug, careful to try and spot any guilt. "I'm not using it! I have my own, Dan"

they both look at each other. The coincidences are too many. Cereal, chargers, showergel, teabags... almost in perfect sync they put their mugs down and whisper in unison

"do you think our house is haunted?"

from above them, in a cramped and dusty attic space, an IDB member is silently mimicking the Internet Is Here dance, the gold jacket barely glimmering in the darkness, as she is waiting to log into the forum

[apathy]

ive been thinking alot about this too. im very curious to see if he changes/how he reacts if he gets comments about his age/relationships/future/having a family. he doesn't necessarily have to comment on any of it, however im sure he'll get asked in some capacity.

His older brother isn't married either, and is in a public relationship. So if there are family pressures, I would expect they'd hit him first & strongest, and Phil may get a little leeway as the baby of the family.

I'm not expecting him to discuss it with us at any rate, sadly.

But yes, societial pressure sucks. I'm sure there are people who secretly judge me for having no interest in relationships/children/whatever. But mostly it annoys me that 30 is treated as some kind of deadline or death sentence. Some of the teens on tumblr have been bemoaning how close Phil is to that age for years, as though he's going to collapse into a humorless gray-haired old man at midnight on the dot of his birthday.

I'm also extremely interested in seeing his first 2017 video though. I'm worried that "rebranding" expectations may be set too high and it'll end in a lot of frustration from people who want a complete change. Personally I'm not expecting something drastically different right off the bat. But we'll see what happens.... I hope... someday... anytime now...

(Please subscribe me to hourly updates from the stalker flat team. For, um, reasons.)

[oqua]

[offtopic]We'll probably be making the thread name poll within the next day or two, and there are currently zero thread name suggestions, so if you've got one, don't forget to post it here. [/offtopic]

[alittledizzy]

ive been thinking alot about this too. im very curious to see if he changes/how he reacts if he gets comments about his age/relationships/future/having a family. he doesn't necessarily have to comment on any of it, however im sure he'll get asked in some capacity.

His older brother isn't married either, and is in a public relationship. So if there are family pressures, I would expect they'd hit him first & strongest, and Phil may get a little leeway as the baby of the family.

(Not directing this at the people I'm quoting, just quoting for context.)

Maybe it's because I'm also over thirty and also unmarried with no kids, but this subject always throws me a little. It's obvious to anyone that Phil is not sitting around on a path of no progress in his life. He's wildly successful in his very glamorous and very financially lucrative career; how could anyone find anything lacking in that? I can't imagine anyone that knows anything about him needs to ask why he's not married or doesn't have kids yet, when they know what his life has been for the last two years. Turning thirty for me personally did not magically flip some switch of people pressuring me to do anything I hadn't already been doing/give any indication of wanting to do. Beyond very distant relatives asking me if I'm seeing anyone, but I don't consider a couple conversations once or twice a year a ton of pressure.

Trying to take someone like Dan or Phil and slot them into standard expectations (familial or otherwise) seems like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole to me. He might get some side eye about why he and Dan haven't made it official but it's really, really hard for me to imagine he gets pressure to make something of himself or be more 'adult' - I mean, he didn't become a millionaire by twiddling his thumbs, he did it by forging his way in a largely uncharted career path.

[MoonPride]

ive been thinking alot about this too. im very curious to see if he changes/how he reacts if he gets comments about his age/relationships/future/having a family. he doesn't necessarily have to comment on any of it, however im sure he'll get asked in some capacity.

His older brother isn't married either, and is in a public relationship. So if there are family pressures, I would expect they'd hit him first & strongest, and Phil may get a little leeway as the baby of the family.

I'm not expecting him to discuss it with us at any rate, sadly.

But yes, societial pressure sucks. I'm sure there are people who secretly judge me for having no interest in relationships/children/whatever. But mostly it annoys me that 30 is treated as some kind of deadline or death sentence. Some of the teens on tumblr have been bemoaning how close Phil is to that age for years, as though he's going to collapse into a humorless gray-haired old man at midnight on the dot of his birthday.

I'm also extremely interested in seeing his first 2017 video though. I'm worried that "rebranding" expectations may be set too high and it'll end in a lot of frustration from people who want a complete change. Personally I'm not expecting something drastically different right off the bat. But we'll see what happens.... I hope... someday... anytime now...

(Please subscribe me to hourly updates from the stalker flat team. For, um, reasons.)

My Brother who is 36 this year is only getting married after being in a long term relationship for 11 years and I'm turning 34 in a few weeks and am a single parent. I don't think turning 30 means it's time to settle down etc and I wish people would stop pushing that on to Phil. He may be perfectly happy with how his life is and has pretty much settled down with Dan if it's believed they are together. He doesn't need to prove that by buying a house and getting married.

Even if he isn't with Dan he may not even be wanting to settle down and is content with how his life is going. Turning 30 means nothing imo and I'd probably only start to make those comments if he was turning 40/46 and was single etc.

I don't know how A bunch of 15 year olds on Tumblr can make assumptions on what Phil should be doing at the age of 30 anyway. It's laughable.

[Waggle9007]

Omg keep going, I'm too invested

Sometimes you can spot a tiny, flashing red dot in the background of their videos... almost like a camera is recording. But they are Youtubers, cameras are all over the house, they think nothing of it, probably just a reflection from outside. At night, is it footsteps? or the floor creaking? whatever it is, it may stir their deep sleep, they don't pay attention to the door slowly creaking open, they don't feel the incoming breeze as a figure walks into their room at night and watches them

but it disappears in a flash. before you can even wake up enough to register what's going on, all you notice is the door swaying slightly by itself, and they think damn, didn't close the door again.

Restrained giggles from various points in the house, it's young, and likely female. Dan never believed in ghosts or the supernatural, Phil however has stepped up on his game, being extra careful to not put new shoes on the table, not to cross your fork and knife, or clip your nails on a Sunday. "Dan, I swear I didn't eat your cereal!" Phil cries out in frustration; only nut crumbs are left from Dan's box, but there's no way Phil can prove his innocence. All those years of being a cereal thief have caught up to him.

They notice some fans are... oddly aware of some things. Small habits, what showergel they bought, that kind of stuff. "Do you think someone has been following us?" Dan asks Phil over their morning coffee. He was perusing twitter and noticed an untagged thread of tweets between some phans about a brand they happen to also use. "Nah, I don't think so. I mean, we order everything online! Nobody sees us choose our products, Dan. You're just being paranoid now", Phil says with a strained voice, even though it's also affecting him.

"It's also finishing up a lot faster than usual," Dan commented, sipping his last mouthful and his eyes glancing at Phil over the mug, careful to try and spot any guilt. "I'm not using it! I have my own, Dan"

they both look at each other. The coincidences are too many. Cereal, chargers, showergel, teabags... almost in perfect sync they put their mugs down and whisper in unison

"do you think our house is haunted?"

from above them, in a cramped and dusty attic space, an IDB member is silently mimicking the Internet Is Here dance, the gold jacket barely glimmering in the darkness, as she is waiting to log into the forum

[kuensukki]

ive been thinking alot about this too. im very curious to see if he changes/how he reacts if he gets comments about his age/relationships/future/having a family. he doesn't necessarily have to comment on any of it, however im sure he'll get asked in some capacity.

His older brother isn't married either, and is in a public relationship. So if there are family pressures, I would expect they'd hit him first & strongest, and Phil may get a little leeway as the baby of the family.

I'm not expecting him to discuss it with us at any rate, sadly.

But yes, societial pressure sucks. I'm sure there are people who secretly judge me for having no interest in relationships/children/whatever. But mostly it annoys me that 30 is treated as some kind of deadline or death sentence. Some of the teens on tumblr have been bemoaning how close Phil is to that age for years, as though he's going to collapse into a humorless gray-haired old man at midnight on the dot of his birthday.

I'm also extremely interested in seeing his first 2017 video though. I'm worried that "rebranding" expectations may be set too high and it'll end in a lot of frustration from people who want a complete change. Personally I'm not expecting something drastically different right off the bat. But we'll see what happens.... I hope... someday... anytime now...

(Please subscribe me to hourly updates from the stalker flat team. For, um, reasons.)

I agree with this Phil is always someone who doesnt act rashly and it will take time for him to reorganize his channel and find a new format/style that he's comfortable in. I can only hope for a loosening up from Phil and the rest will eventually fall into place

And melon lord this would make a great y/n + deppy fic