Dan & Phil Part 50: Should we kiss now?

Our two favourite full time internet nerds who never go outside!
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thephandommenace
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:welcome: liola!

I missed the liveshow bc I went to bed at 7pm and somehow managed to sleep for 15 hours (how), and ahhh I loved it! I laughed when that person said grey wasn't Phil's colour and it 'hurt his feelings', lol bless. I'd never personally noticed but I do love his jumper with the embroidered red flowers
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I squealed when he mentioned they were going to the Wimbledon men's final (I never used to be a screamer ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) before , is this what fandom does to you? I'll be watching it avidly (for the tennis of course... yep)

Found the Danthony 'bloopers' really boring but I'm looking forward to Phil's new collab! And the new format?! Much excite. Is it going to be his 'thing' like the 7sc was supposed to be? I am intrigued. Fingers crossed for Phantony
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onetruetrash wrote: I was annoyed and then I looked at the replies on the second tweet.
okay sometimes the phandom is just super creative, this is hilarious.
Awesomesauceness
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Omg wimbledon finals I'm so jealous!!! Venus Williams is playing in women's finals and I'm (๑>◡<๑) I really hope she wins.

Sorry, just as a tennis player and a tennis fan I'm so jealous he got to go! Ahhh... the day when I get to see Federer play that's gotta be on my bucket list.

Phil is so nice and calming! I love tuning into his live shows while I do art, it's very relaxing. Loved the subtle shade at Dan haha.

On the subject of phil, and very off topic (I was reading through a lot of old threads and saw things about breaking gender stereotypes), I wonder how phil breaks those stereotypes? It's always mentioned that he does in his own way, but I am very confused as to how. Perhaps it's because I'm from China and live in Hong Kong, that I'm not getting a western culture thing? Because to me phil doesn't seem to break a lot of gender stereotypes. Sorry if this seems really offensive, and I do want to learn more and become more "woke" about these things. Dan's behaviour in general seems really stereotype breaking to me, especially with him dropping out of college! Tbh I was super concerned and felt a whole range of negative emotions when he mentioned that because it's almost completely unheard of here unless a) you're crazy or b) you've run out of money. I guess that was a culturally conditioned part of myself that just sort of jumped at that. I get how Dan's behaviour is breaking a lot of gender stereotypes in the west, but it's really quite normal in the place I grew up (in an urban Chinese centre surrounded by upper middle class Chinese kids and mostly had friends who were generally interested in art). Maybe someone can enlighten me about phil? I'm so interested!

Something else I've been wanting to say but don't know how, I feel a little uncomfortable seeing dan and phil Japan merch. I'm fluent in Japanese, and half of my relatives are from there and live there, and I've stayed with them a lot, in Shibuya (did you guys know one of Tokyo's districts legalised gay marriage some time ago I'm still quite happy about it). It's a little like the same feeling I get when I see Asian stores use a lot of English on their clothes; there's nothing wrong with it but I just don't know why I feel a little uncomfortable. Maybe it's the fact that they've never really experienced Japanese culture and are in a way using it as part of their brand? I don't really know how to put this into words really, just something I felt and would like to know if anyone else felt this way. Sorry if this is weird or offends anyone, I wasn't my intention at all. (Also on a side note, I think the rendering of their names might sound better if they used フィール instead of フィル but I'm just being terribly nit picky at this point. The latter render makes phil's name sound really short, but then again just personal preference.) (>人<;)

Oh man this was completely off topic! I just had these things I wanted to say. Sorry about the rant, I'm not trying to bash dan and phil at all! I love these guys and wouldn't stan them (and pay for vpn to watch them when I'm in China because firewall >_<) if I had any problems.

EDIT: Lmao onision oh my god XD seriously though, how and why is this guy still on youtube?
Last edited by Awesomesauceness on Fri Jul 14, 2017 4:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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fondsmiles
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Awesomesauceness wrote: On the subject of phil, and very off topic (I was reading through a lot of old threads and saw things about breaking gender stereotypes), I wonder how phil breaks those stereotypes? It's always mentioned that he does in his own way, but I am very confused as to how. Perhaps it's because I'm from China and live in Hong Kong, that I'm not getting a western culture thing? Because to me phil doesn't seem to break a lot of gender stereotypes. Sorry if this seems really offensive, and I do want to learn more and become more "woke" about these things. Dan's behaviour in general seems really stereotype breaking to me, especially with him dropping out of college! Tbh I was super concerned and felt a whole range of negative emotions when he mentioned that because it's almost completely unheard of here unless a) you're crazy or b) you've run out of money. I guess that was a culturally conditioned part of myself that just sort of jumped at that. I get how Dan's behaviour is breaking a lot of gender stereotypes in the west, but it's really quite normal in the place I grew up (in an urban Chinese centre surrounded by upper middle class Chinese kids and mostly had friends who were generally interested in art). Maybe someone can enlighten me about phil? I'm so interested!
I think dropping out of college isn't that much of a big thing in the west as it is in Asian countries, at least as far as I've heard and experienced with my friends. education and career seem to have a much higher standard in Asia compared to for example Europe and the USA.
considering Phil and gender stereotypes; I think he definitely doesn't do that as much as Dan. some things that I would consider in my mind is maybe his clothing, such colorful stuff (and maybe tight jeans) aren't seen that often on males here.
I find it hard in general though to identify stereotypes like that. I am not good at judging group behaviour/thoughts.
Awesomesauceness wrote: Something else I've been wanting to say but don't know how, I feel a little uncomfortable seeing dan and phil Japan merch. I'm fluent in Japanese, and half of my relatives are from there and live there, and I've stayed with them a lot, in Shibuya (did you guys know one of Tokyo's districts legalised gay marriage some time ago I'm still quite happy about it). It's a little like the same feeling I get when I see Asian stores use a lot of English on their clothes; there's nothing wrong with it but I just don't know why I feel a little uncomfortable. Maybe it's the fact that they've never really experienced Japanese culture and are in a way using it as part of their brand? I don't really know how to put this into words really, just something I felt and would like to know if anyone else felt this way. Sorry if this is weird or offends anyone, I wasn't my intention at all. (Also on a side note, I think the rendering of their names might sound better if they used フィール instead of フィル but I'm just being terribly nit picky at this point. The latter render makes phil's name sound really short, but then again just personal preference.) (>人<;)
The Japan merch topic was discussed in a lot of detail a while back, I think it started somewhere around here, when they released the merch again. maybe you'll find it interesting to read through some of the discussion on that!
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kenzieisnotonfire
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Yay!!
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liola
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Awesomesauceness wrote: On the subject of phil, and very off topic (I was reading through a lot of old threads and saw things about breaking gender stereotypes), I wonder how phil breaks those stereotypes? It's always mentioned that he does in his own way, but I am very confused as to how. Perhaps it's because I'm from China and live in Hong Kong, that I'm not getting a western culture thing? Because to me phil doesn't seem to break a lot of gender stereotypes. Sorry if this seems really offensive, and I do want to learn more and become more "woke" about these things. Dan's behaviour in general seems really stereotype breaking to me, especially with him dropping out of college! Tbh I was super concerned and felt a whole range of negative emotions when he mentioned that because it's almost completely unheard of here unless a) you're crazy or b) you've run out of money. I guess that was a culturally conditioned part of myself that just sort of jumped at that. I get how Dan's behaviour is breaking a lot of gender stereotypes in the west, but it's really quite normal in the place I grew up (in an urban Chinese centre surrounded by upper middle class Chinese kids and mostly had friends who were generally interested in art). Maybe someone can enlighten me about phil? I'm so interested!
Okay wow 2nd post and i'm already attempting to quote and engage in a discussion, look at me go!

I think they both break some kind of stereotypes in different ways. Dan is more open about it and does it in a way that is kinda..i wanna say popular for a lack of a better word. Nail polish for example, and not in a black emo way, is still considered quite a female accessory, so seeing a guy wear it is still seen as breaking a gender stereotype. He's also quite vocal about the issue itself, so that helps seeing him as breaking the gender stereotype.

Phil is, in a way, a bit more subtle I think, but there are things that he does that could be seen as non-stereotype. His bubbly-ness for example, the way he portrays his innocence and child-like attitude that in traditional media and western pov is still reserved to females, and mostly young ones. Loving anime and animals and being vocal about it. He has a gentle aura around him, something that reminds people of someone innocent (even though we all know he's a grown man who is I think very far from innocent). I think in that way he could be seen as not fitting the stereotype of big buff burly man.

(forgive any typo or dumb sentence, my other fandom is having a freakout and i'm here trying to write about three different things at the same time. Also engaging with new people is scary)
Will probably never be over the BONCAS and the beauty of Phil Lester.

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Awesomesauceness
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Thanks so much for answering! It seems like I've missed a whole discussion on the Japan merch, I'll go read over that! Sorry for bringing up a topic that's been discussed already.

Yeah I guess in the context of the western world wearing bright clothes and tight jeans would be breaking gender stereotypes, I probably just didn't think of it. People in Asia (especially younger men) wear clothes like that so often it feels like the norm! Thanks for pointing it out :)

EDIT: don't be scared! New people are always terrifying haha. I missed this post when writing my reply. Also so happy about the Manchester shirts, I'm glad they were able to raise so much for charity.
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Awesomesauceness wrote: On the subject of phil, and very off topic (I was reading through a lot of old threads and saw things about breaking gender stereotypes), I wonder how phil breaks those stereotypes? It's always mentioned that he does in his own way, but I am very confused as to how. Perhaps it's because I'm from China and live in Hong Kong, that I'm not getting a western culture thing? Because to me phil doesn't seem to break a lot of gender stereotypes.
Phil doesn't "smash down" stereotypes in a very directed way as much as Dan does, from my perspective, especially as Dan also tends to discuss the issues surrounding gender and sexuality stereotypes and that sort of thing more. However, I think in some more subtle ways breaks stereotypes. For example, in the pastel edits video, he doesn't equate wearing pastel things as being feminine or dressing more "girly" which would be the obvious joke (to me), but instead equates it with a generally "soft" aesthetic. Also, there have been a few times when he has purposefully made jokes about the "manly man" stereotype and how he doesn't fit into it, such as not being able to fix things or use tools, not being athletic, dying his hair, etc.

It seems to me from what he has shared that he has always been aware of not meeting up to his perceived expectations in that way, especially as a child/teen, so in that way I see him as breaking stereotypes, even if he is not as extreme about it as Dan's painting his nails or wearing clothes labelled as women's. Sorry if this was confusing, I just woke up :D

edit: liola seems to have about the same perspective as I do!
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dudes in tight jeans in the uk isnt really breaking any gender stereotypes unless youre over about 50. in the early/mid 2000s when they started coming back, maybe, but phil especially has never worn anything jean-wise that is very subversive. and the colourful tshirts are just the same basic graphic tshirts that basic dudes wear all the time. liking animals and media aimed at younger people isnt really doing anything different either when youre not viewing the Standard Male Gender Specifications™ as someone very hypermasculine.

it's not that he's forcing people to stick to stereotypes and saying thats the ONLY WAY (aside from some older comments that just imply he was raised conservatively and now isnt) its just that he doesnt really do much that specifically breaks stereotypes so its weird when he gets praised for it. but theres nothing specifically better about going against stereotypes, you're not a better man for wearing more glitter and a better woman for hating dresses, the point is to just feel like you dont have to do certain things. he just shouldnt be praised for things he isnt experiencing the backlash a lot of people have to go through to feel more comfortable. "its good that he presents the way he wants" is good enough

gender theory is fun
my name is jaejmine masters and i have something to say. dan and phil have fucked up japan :japhan:
phil lester threw the first brick at stonewall, we love a queer icon :biflag:
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Seems like the video Mark mentioned was a horror reaction compilation with a lot of editing. I guess we have to wait a bit longer for the Vidcon thing. Strange, cause it's been like two full weeks now?
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Phantasy wrote:Slightly off-topic, but... Is anyone else ever amused by the contrast of British Lad Culture when compared to D&P? Think of Joe and Caspar, best friends and quintessential "lads" who are (as far as anyone knows) strictly heterosexual, yet they have shown in a public manner a degree of outward affection towards each other 100x when compared to the other famous BFFLs D&P—talking here an endless series of hugs, cuddles, compliments, casual nudity, male beauty appreciation, lad holidays, etc., and for as much as we talk about D&P's sexuality and probable romance, yet the most outwardly affectionate they have ever been publicly was an on stage hug after mixed signals.

I'm sure volumes have been written about British Lad Culture and borderline homo-erotic tendencies, but I still find the comparison amusing (and ironic?)—if Deppy were a fraction as affectionate (publicly) as Joe and Caspar, then I think there would be very little doubt as to the real nature of their relationship (or sexualities for that matter).
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I don't know much about Joe or Caspar, but on a somewhat related topic, I'm forever fascinated by how different Deppy's relationship, humor and general attitude seem compared to Tomska and his group of friends/coworkers. Like, they are all (as far as I know) straight guys, but they are also pretty socially aware, Tom did a video about being an ally, and they seem to share taste in many things with Deppy, yet the vibe that I'm getting when I'm watching Tom's vlogs couldn't be more different (I'd really like to discuss it if someone's interested, I've been thinking about this forever now)
Dan wants to be understood. Phil just wants to make the viewer smile and sell some backpacks (c) fancybum
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One thing about the liveshow which I found really funny was that Phil felt comfortable sharing the fact that he would be at the Wimbledon's men's finals before it happened, whereas he had to make an addendum to his "I have IMAX tickets for Dunkirk" to make sure it was in an ambiguous, distant future.

I suppose he's safe in the assumption that any fans who are willing and able to pay £5,000 to go watch a tennis match are much much much more unlikely to try to mob him than all the random schmos who could camp out by London IMAX showings of Dunkirk this weekend. He might not have actually thought about it this way, but it was funny to me how he seemed to see Wimbledon as a safe zone in terms of getting stalked, especially with his talk of its poshness.

As a side note: very jealous of all you tennis fans! As a baseball fan, I'm sad that the most I'll probably ever get is the one time they went to see the Toronto Blue Jays of all teams! You were in America for months, but you couldn't even see the USA's national pastime in the USA?
Rude! Maybe one day they will get into Play Ball, the baseball anime my little bro watches instead of actual baseball.
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Thanks so much for your input guys! Gender theory does sound fun, but it makes me question everything at the same time. I think the idea of gender stereotypes, especially surrounding fashion and interests, are hard to grasp because the gender dichotomy usually exists in other areas, like career, societal roles and power balances, where I live (it's definitely a lot different in rural areas tho). There's a general culture among young people in cities to act and look kawaii, for both guys and girls and frankly everyone watches anime XD. And there are so many fujoshi and fudanshi here haha.

As for phil, it's interesting that you mention that he's not breaking many gender stereotypes and that's ok. Somehow I feel like I have an expectation for phil to be breaking gender stereotypes after Dan talks and does things about it openly. I think Phil does do a lot of things subtly but at the same time, claiming that someone does a certain thing subtly can also mean that one is actively looking for that thing, and due to (is it confirmation bias??) magnifies a lot of smaller things to mean much more. Do you think this is something that is happening here? I don't know how else to put this into words. I'm not very articulate haha, forgive me if this is very confusing.
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I guess I'm biased in this conversation because I'm into another fandom where the guys i love are imo similar to deppy and they are breaking gender roles a lot, but while one of them is very very forward in it, wearing traditionally women clothes, wearing makeup, and not caring about pronouns. His other half is nowhere near, but even the way he's vocally supportive, and when prompted talks about how feminism is important, lgbtq+ issues are important, trans lives matters and things like that.. maybe he doesn't feel comfortable/care about breaking gender-roles himself but the support is already something different than what we traditionally see around us. At least where I live it would be sadly unheard of.

All of this to say that I see Phil in this way haha
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thought this was interesting - sad for all those out there who matched with danny and felt special lol - would be my luck. i would just pretend he was lying - wow is this what the phandom does to us

xxxcited 4 phil's vid!
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lol who is ever say Phil breaks gender stereotypes. From what I've seen from tumblr and twitter, long posts have been dedicated to Dans slow break from gender stereotypes but rarely Phil.

Anyway since you posed a question and I love talking about Phil I'll give you some examples of Phil doing anti "masculine-traditional stuff" (warning: every society is different and culture usually dictates the perceived gender stereotypes so I'm gonna base it on western culture moreso than anything else):

Phil dyes his hair and has maintained that for a consistent amount of time, Phil tones and moisturizes daily even using lush facewashes etc and bright bath bombs, Phil hates sports, Phil talks openly about his affection for mom and their close relationship, he is obsessed with candles, he watches reality shows for the drama, although in liveshows it doesn't happen, he's happy to admit that he cries when he watches movies, he loves overly sweet drinks instead of hard alcohol, his mannerisms are delicate.

These are some of the examples I could think of. Does that mean he's smashing stereotypes, nah. That just comes from people that want to make phil seem more similar to dan (along with their need to put him in dans sweaters, ripped jeans, curly hair, nail polish etc, phew the pressure is real ). Is Phil stereotypically male, fuck no, but he also isn't someone who overtly smashes stereotypes and that's okay. People like Dan exist in the world that have the confidence and the personal desire to dress and act (as he is very emotionally vulnerable with his audience) in a way that does break those traditional gender stereotypes. Phil on the other hand never seemed to have that desire, he hates the feeling of nail polish, he will wear an ugly ass graphic t shirt over something nice any day of the week and has had his dorky Vans from the beginning of time. He's also not really expressive emotionally. That's just Phil and honestly, him being himself is okay.
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Dan's motivations seem to be in testing boundaries, for himself and in how he's perceived. I think Phil just wants to like what he likes without having to overthink it- candy scented body wash and his hair the color he wants and his skin nice and moisturized. :)
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+1 to Phil is okay :thumb:

I loved his live show. He's on a roll for bounce and expression lately, such energy. I'll be glad of this intriguing video tonight too, I've had a weird few days of bad sleep, aches and pains. The bit about him looking like a science teacher makes me laugh, reminds me of that brown suit he wore when he did the videos/to show in Ireland years ago, he looked like a geography teacher then, I thought (fitting with meteorology).

Wimbledon will be fun. I thought the flamingo shirt, the smaller pattern anyway, looked better, the pugs are a bit big and bright. He does look better in darker or brighter clothes, dark grey is amazing on him, he looks incredible in the "few seconds" video about crossing the road. My mum loves Wimbledon and roots for all the stars and English people so I've heard two weeks of cheering, commentary on each point and groaning every time the ball's out. I'll pay more attention on Sunday.
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I don't personally think that Phil is 'breaking gender stereotypes' as much as he's unashamedly not a 'lad'. He doesn't like football, he's quite open about hating going out clubbing, he doesn't go to the gym constantly, he's not interested in objectifying women, etc... Someone else compared D&P to Joe and Caspar and I think that's kind of the point. Joe and Caspar are what some people perceive as 'real men' and Phil isn't like that at all and has never been interested in being part of that.

PS I am going to the Wimbledon Men's Final :o :o :o we are big tennis fans in my family and my dad applies every year through his tennis club and got veryveryvery lucky in the ballot this time round and I got the extra ticket as a birthday present! I am assuming we will be in the cheap seats far away from D&P as our tickets definitely did not cost £5k hahaha.
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I feel like the difference here is what is included in the whole "breaking gender stereotypes" topic, because it changes a lot from country to country. In social media it's more focused on fashion choices than anything else it feels like, and in that way yeah Phil doesn't do it. But he isn't typically mainly either I think.

But idk maybe my views is wrong, most people here think if a woman doesn't want to get married or have kids is not fitting the stereotype and it's groundbreaking (and mostly negative) so
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I think that while Phil doesn't go as hard with breaking gender stereotypes (and doesn't need to because this is about personal comfort after all), it's an equally challenging thing for the both of them. We've talked about how Phil seems to have had a more traditional upbringing on here before, so I think Phil's victories in his journey lay in the small things. Like kuen said; scented candles, skincare, sugary cocktails etc. I'm not gonna pat every dude who likes those things on the back for it, but they're still things and they're important to him personally. Phil learning how not to constantly about what will be perceived as appropriate and 'manly' is what has been most important to him and I don't think he feels any desire to go further than that because he's happy and comfortable in the balance he has now found for himself. Honoring both his own wishes of not being restricted by toxic masculinity and his upbringing (which is also special and important to him). Dan is still looking for that balance I think, and maybe his less traditional and more open minded upbringing also encourages in him to test boundaries and go a step further than Phil in search of that happiness. And that does include doing and liking things that are more widely thought of as actively breaking gender stereotypes (often sadly also the ones that are fetishized by some people).
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Just a general +1 to Catallena just now. this is very well worded and feels true for me.

[offtopic]this isn't deppy, but it is gender stuff: I just watched superfruit's new music video and it is incredible, and shows kids expressing gender in the way they want to. also fantastic dancing. I stan these kids now and wanted to share since it kinda-ish applies to this discussion.
[/offtopic]
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their faces are out of focus and it's distracting me.
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Every time I look at , I can't help thinking that they would be interesting subjects for a case study on masculinity, which is actually what both the lad culture and gender stereotype discussions seem to be about. Neither being a man nor masculinity in a wider sense can be simplified into a single model of an "average" or a "stereotypical" man. There are different types of masculinities and they become meaningful in relation to each other (and to femininities) because there is a hierarchy between not only genders in general but also different ways of doing gender. What has been dubbed as "being a traditional man" in this discussion is essentially what in academic lingo is called "hegemonic masculinity", which is considered to be the ideal type of masculinity on top of the hierarchy. All the other types of masculinities exist and are defined in relation to this ideal.

Dan's and Phil's types of masculinities differ from each other, as noted several time in this thread, but are both farther away from the ideal hegemonic masculinity than eg. Joe's and Caspar's. At least Dan (possibly also Phil) is actively challenging the ideal by "breaking the stereotypes", which appears in stark contrast to Joe and Caspar, who just seem to use the lad culture's homoeroticism to strive towards the ideal by making fun of alternative masculinities.

I've been crafting this message for far too long and have already forgotten where I was going with all of this. :facepalm: Hopefully someone else can pick up from here.

(disclaimer: I am a sociology student and have had some lectures on this topic but am by no means an expert. Also, depression seems to have shut down most of my higher brain functions, including my analytical skills, so I can't really dive deep into serious topics right now.)
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Oh boy here we go! I'm like a minute in and intrigued.

Of course Dan starts off with a #content mention siiigh
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