Catallena wrote: Thu Sep 07, 2017 1:35 am
I'd really only be up for a mental health video if it truly were about his experiences and without trying too hard to be relatable or romanticize it like some other YouTubers. I dunno, I feel nervous about it.. my mental health is very personal to me and while it can be important for influencers to talk about these things to their audience I always feel some type of way about videos like it. Especially with Dan's track record of turning existentialism into branding.
AroboticPhil wrote: Wed Sep 06, 2017 11:06 pm
well I guess all I'm doing tonight is posting tweets but ...
quoted tweet is :
Am I the only one finding it kinda weird when other youtubers talk so freely about Dan and Phil (but not to them)?
Like idk this is just one example but tweets like that happen quite often; it's the kind of stuff I would tweet about either celebs -that will never see it- or very close friends -that will 100% see it and reply- but deffo not about coworkers?
Feels weird to discuss people you know without them being actually included but where they can see it.
edit : oops I'm so sorry, rizzo posted those right before me but for some reason IDB didn't warn me, sorry !!
Tessa actually does know them though, so it's not that weird to me
Honestly that just makes it weirder to me. I expect better from Hank as well. It's really no wonder D&P don't mingle with other YouTubers so much, if I were them I'd constantly feel like I couldn't trust anyone.
I don't understand why this would make Dan and Phil uncomfortable? I would love a Dan and Phil anime. I think DnP would love a DnP anime too. what's so bad about this? could someone explain it to me?
AroboticPhil wrote: Wed Sep 06, 2017 11:06 pm
well I guess all I'm doing tonight is posting tweets but ...
quoted tweet is :
Am I the only one finding it kinda weird when other youtubers talk so freely about Dan and Phil (but not to them)?
Like idk this is just one example but tweets like that happen quite often; it's the kind of stuff I would tweet about either celebs -that will never see it- or very close friends -that will 100% see it and reply- but deffo not about coworkers?
Feels weird to discuss people you know without them being actually included but where they can see it.
edit : oops I'm so sorry, rizzo posted those right before me but for some reason IDB didn't warn me, sorry !!
Tessa actually does know them though, so it's not that weird to me
Does Tessa know Dan and Phil? The only stuff I can find of them together is them interviewing her.
I know they posted an Instagram picture back in 2013 (don't remember if it was Tessa's or Phil's account). They also tweeted each other earlier this year I believe.
Is no one analyzing the reflection in the "water feature" for layout help? (Please keep it up though, I love floorplans.)
I didn't see anyone post timestamps for the LS? Could've missed it between board game drama. Just a few things here that interested me.
2:24 Cut his own hair, because it was fine, it just "lost the thing"? Is that what he said? What?
4:03 If you can refer to yourself as an ugly pigeon, it just means you're not taking life too seriously. I mean, maybe. There's also the whole using humor to cover deeper issues thing that some people have.
9:00 I worry that they really do think Dil is the only thing keeping the channel going. That the overwhelming majority of viewers don't actually care about "real" (not the right word, but you know what I mean) games at all and would be bored by them. And I worry more that it's true.
10:48 Glitter from Phil's sheets in washing machine. "I put all of my clothes, that I actually had to wash, in the machine" as opposed to things that didn't actually have to be washed being put in the machine (and clogging it with glitter)?
Also, how did he have gold glitter on his hand when Phil used blue, white, and silver?
I sped through GBB, music, and other tv talk at 2x speed because I don't care, which makes it far more entertaining.
15:08 Upgraded their broadband just for livestream gaming. They seem really committed to the idea. It's not something I ever expected they'd have interest in, and now it seems to be a big focus. Easy content? Is there an extra revenue thing with it? I know it had the subscribe thing that they didn't dismiss and probably subtly encouraged.
The last stream "didn't remotely feel like any kind of work" - another interesting phrase. The initial gaming channel pitch was "hey we love games, might as well film them", but realistically, anytime you start doing something you like for money, it becomes a job. It can still be fun, but it changes a bit. So it's nice that they were able to just have fun with it and hopefully not overthink.
Mostly I'm glad they told us ahead of time when the next one is instead of hiding it on twitter at the last minute.
35:10 Complains about Phil making him climb the stairs for pigeon drama... but he obviously did it without too much hesitation.
Too lazy to note times, but it's funny how he has completely opposite reactions to the same filters at several points.
So many rat comments, and references to his self-imposed pressure to be interesting and the awareness of how varied the expectations and reaction are. His sentence about philosophy pretty much summed up all the meme video talk here very succinctly. Mental health would be dangerous for the same reason. You can say it would be good if he did it the "right way", but 6 million subscribers have 6 million opinions on what that means.
nigel ratburn wrote: Wed Sep 06, 2017 11:08 pm
[Offtopic] I agree that self-diagnosis can be dangerous, but I personally went six years without being diagnosed by a professional because I was absolutely terrified to see or talk to anyone about my problems, and the idea that there was a word to describe what I was experiencing and that there were other people who were the same way was the only thing that kept me going during that time. There's a distinction between people who self-diagnose because they are unable for whatever reason to see a professional and get assessed and people who self-diagnose after reading a tiny bit about a disorder or because they think mental illness would make them interesting-- but I honestly don't think that many people in the latter category exist? Or if they do, they're young (I could absolutely be wrong about this, but I haven't personally come across many people like that).
[/Offtopic]
Ah, just to clarify - I sympathise a lot with self-dxers as you're right, it normally is because they're waiting to be assessed. I even did the same thing when I was waiting for so long, but that's what made me realise that it is wrong. Labelling yourself isn't something people should have to do to let people know they struggle with things and labelling yourself wrongly can lead to so much....anxiety and bullshit repercussions. For example, i thought I had a personality disorder for years (bpd) and always thought I was wrong and could never "fix myself". That isn't true of someone with bpd, but how was I meant to know? I'd given myself a label that I can't get support with. I told myself it was bpd, not GAD and autism which is what I was diagnosed with, and still now I'm suffering from anxiety where I keep telling myself there's something naturally wrong about my personality, which is scary as shit for people with low self esteem. Furthermore, it's kind of.... irritating? Because self-dxers assume that they're the only ones with inaccessible healthcare for mental illnesses, but that's not true at all. So many people who are currently diagnosed went through years of trauma and waiting because tbh, mental healthcare anywhere in the world is pretty shit. So they understand your position and that's why it offends them. Well, most of them - I'm not gatekeeper!
I’ve always just imagined/assumed that Dan would make a “mental health” video in the sense that he would talk about the more relatable, self-care-y type things, rather than mental health disorders… like talking about feeling anxious rather than talking about anxiety.
[offtopic] from what I’ve noticed over the years younger people, especially on tumblr, tend to use the idea of depression and anxiety as a way to put a name to their feelings, when really what they’re experiencing is just puberty. Puberty sucks, with all its mood swings and wonky hormones, high school sucks, being dependent on parents when all you want to do is find your own identity sucks. It’s easier to self-diagnose yourself with depression because then you have a clear cut label to an otherwise messy situation. not all the time, sometimes it is simply a disorder, I’m just saying this is one explanation for the rise in self-diagnosing and the romanticizing mental health disorders.
[/offtopic]
This is actually one reason I’d like to see Dan make a video re: mental health… he always mentions how he never talked to anyone about his feelings when he was younger, which is something a lot of people can relate to. I could see him talking about those experiences and what he wish he did instead. Also, we’ve all noticed how much happier Dan’s been lately. Part of why could be because he sought out phyciatric care or therapy, idk I’m not going to armchair diagnose, but I’d bet my bottom dollar part of this change came from bettering the cliched term “self-care.” A video on that could be good as well.
gohomohowell wrote: Wed Sep 06, 2017 8:59 pm
[Offtopic]though, i have to say, about the mental health video... part of me is very anxious because i'm not sure he will talk about therapy in a video like that. i mean, CHYPS (free mental healthcare for youth) in the uk is crap. absolutely crap. as in, you're left with attempting before they'll offer you any support. and maybe he never needed the service when he was under 18/has always gone privately which is a bit?? i mean, most people can't afford private therapy at £200+ a session. the majority of his fanbase are young and don't have the money to pay for it, you know. and it's not good to promote going to CHYPS either because he wouldn't/might know the service does a lot more harm than good. [/Offtopic]
I understand what you mean by this, but tbh I think it would be a good idea for him to mention therapy in a video like this. There’s quite the stigma regarding therapy, especially as a young person because no one wants to ask their parents to let them see a therapist… unless you’re bffs with your ‘rents it would be an awkward, uncomfortable conversation. Sure, some people can’t afford private therapy, I couldn’t even afford a second pair of shoes growing up, but a lot of families can… this year I finally got healthcare (yay!) and even though it’s pretty shitty it still covers up to 30 therapy sessions with a $40 copay, and psychiatric care (with certain doctors) for $40 copay. Middle class families would have no problem with something like that, especially since a lot of people after a while end up visiting therapists on only a monthly basis.
Maybe only half of his under 18 audience have supportive parents with the means to pay for therapy, but that’s still enough people where his encouragement might make them feel better about having this conversation with his parents.
Additionally, I don’t know much about CHYPS so I can’t attest to that, but as far as youth/US goes, most US high schools have in-school counselors who act basically as therapists, so saying “it’s okay to seek help at places like these” would go a long way.
[offtopic]
also, as far as free clinics go, I hope he would mention something like that. Free clinics might not be good for the more common(?) mental health disorders like most stages of anxiety and depression, but for the types of disorders who are almost completely treated by medication a free clinic can be a god send. When I was 18 I had my first manic episode, and in a moment of lucidity a couple days in I went to a walk-in free clinic--they figured out it was bipolar 1 rather than schizophrenia, got me started right away on medication, and contacted my ICE (brother). I had no health insurance and 4 digits in my bank account, so it was my only option other than the ER where I would have no doubt been put on an involuntary psychiatric hold and probably misdiagnosed. had I not gone and stayed undiagnosed I would probably, according to statistics, be dead.
Anyway, the point is that usually it takes at least a month to get an entrance appointment with a psychiatrist, so again idk about CHYPS specifically, but giving correct information (that you should go to a free clinic rather than ignoring a problem) would be a very important part of a mental health video, if talking about clinical/disorder type issues. Sure only a tiny handful of viewers would ever need this information, but no one talks about these uglier disorders. A throwaway line in a stupid video might sneak into the long term memory of someone who’ll need it one day.
[/offtopic]
alittledizzy wrote: Wed Sep 06, 2017 3:59 pm
it's a full moon today and none of us know what we're doing.
You said this a few pages ago, but I have to say that this might be my favorite thing I've read all year, I have a weird urge to cross stitch this and frame it on my wall
also, Dan's tumblr queue has been fire today, I think I did every post made me laugh-by-releasing-a-quick-burst-of-air-through-my-nose.
AroboticPhil wrote: Wed Sep 06, 2017 11:06 pm
well I guess all I'm doing tonight is posting tweets but ...
quoted tweet is :
Am I the only one finding it kinda weird when other youtubers talk so freely about Dan and Phil (but not to them)?
Like idk this is just one example but tweets like that happen quite often; it's the kind of stuff I would tweet about either celebs -that will never see it- or very close friends -that will 100% see it and reply- but deffo not about coworkers?
Feels weird to discuss people you know without them being actually included but where they can see it.
edit : oops I'm so sorry, rizzo posted those right before me but for some reason IDB didn't warn me, sorry !!
Tessa actually does know them though, so it's not that weird to me
Does Tessa know Dan and Phil? The only stuff I can find of them together is them interviewing her.
I know they posted an Instagram picture back in 2013 (don't remember if it was Tessa's or Phil's account). They also tweeted each other earlier this year I believe.
I think ppl might be uncomfortable with this exchange because of how weird it is to talk about people you know/are mutual with as if they aren't going to see it. D&P will prob see this exchange since these are verified accounts talking about them, so imagine having people you see as peers talking about you as if you're in a separate social sphere. This is kind of like talking about two guys who are sitting at your same HS lunch table but not including them in the conversation.
If instead of talking about D&P and instead @them, included them in this conversation since it's literally about them, this wouldn't feel as gross.
(sorry about the double post, I just missed the edit window)
In regards to Dan making a mental health type video I think I would love it. I'm bipolar and struggle with anxiety and for me, seeing people I admire talk about any mental health things in a way that isn't rude/judgmental/like a punch line is a relief for me. People with big platforms can really help destigmitize things and while its not an obligation I think its cool. Which is why it doesn't bother me when the discussion happens, even in a way that I might not be partial to or enjoy.
Plus, Dan doing breathing techniques and calming exercises during his live shows make me so happy and just, ya know, overwhelmingly giddy.
With regards to a possible mental health video, I think it's pretty clear from the way he talked about it in the liveshow that Dan is well aware it is a sensitive topic, and thus if he were to make a video on mental health I'm sure he would give it the appropriate amount of thought/care/seriousness etc. His hesitance in making the video stems from wanting to ensure that he does the topic justice, and wanting to avoid preaching or giving inappropriate advice - in essence, he doesn't want to make a video that is damaging to his audience in any way. As such, I feel like if he does make a video on mental health it'd be a really great thing - he would ensure that he had researched appropriately, and hopefully would be able to strike the right balance between humour and seriousness.
It could be really beneficial to hear from someone who clearly has his own experience with mental health issues (not trying to diagnose him or anything, but I don't think it's a stretch to suggest so based on things Dan himself has said), and while Dan does tend to weave a tone of despair and darkness into his videos, I feel like there's the potential for Dan to encourage self-care and to seek help given the sorts of inspirational messages he tends to instil in his more serious videos. If handled appropriately, and it seems as though it will/would be given Dan's hesitance to make the video in the first place, I think he could do a really great job. Having said that, he's not obligated to ever disclose any personal information regarding his mental health, so I would completely understand if he ends up feeling uncomfortable about the idea.
@twix thank you for your very succinct and well-worded definition of gas lighting! I think it gets thrown around a lot quite casually, when it is a word that actually refers to very serious emotional abuse. Phil claiming to sleep in his own bedroom is objectively not gas lighting, and while I understand the frustration that comes with the somewhat 'one step forward two steps back' narrative of dnp, it is ultimately just a justified attempt at maintaining privacy, and is not in any way malicious or calculated.
twix wrote: Thu Sep 07, 2017 12:27 am
@000dia000 & @QuiteFriendly, i don't understand what you mean by 'gaslighting' in this context? i can kind of see where you're coming from wrt the phandom and starting conspiratorial and/or anxious rumors, but how does the bedroom thing constitute gaslighting, especially if you don't believe dnp "plant seeds" or w/e intentionally?
the definition of 'gaslighting' i know, which is in the context of abusive interpersonal relationships, is when person A makes person B, who trusts person A, disregard their own knowledge of reality in favor of a lie told by person A. for example, person A might blow the rent money on going out one night, and then when the discrepancy in accounting is noted, convince person B that person B must have somehow lost it, citing the alleged "facts" that person B is forgetful and bad at balancing checkbooks. Person B then blames themselves.
I can only answer for myself and for me the bedroom has nothing to do with it. Anyway, this is where I’m coming from.
I use the same definition as you. Basically, you make someone doubt their own perception of reality etc. which if it goes on might affect the recipient's sense of self. Maybe it's wrong to talk about gaslighting in this context, but it sort of fits just because it's more than "winning an argument". I’ll try to explain.
I watched Phil before he met Dan so I was sort of there and saw it happening. I’ll admit, I thought Dan was his boyfriend. Then the “mutual friend” and all that happened which was weird, because I knew they didn’t meet like that. Later on when the outright denials happened, I felt that it was done in a way to ridicule people who thought otherwise. For me, it wasn’t the denial in itself, I accept that I might have misinterpreted the situation, but the way it was done. People who thought they were together become shippers and ridiculed, not only by dnp but by the rest of the phandom. Especially, by the rest of the phandom actually. Like, it was stupid to have made the conclusion (back in 09-10) that they were together and, by the way, everything you remember is wrong too.
Personally, I don’t really care about the exact nature of their relationship. Whatever it is, it’s seems to work for them and make them happy, and seeing them interact in videos is good content as far as I’m concerned. If I had to answer the question, I would say that I believe that they are (probably) together, however I can’t tell you why in a way that I feel justify that belief. I feel that I have been made to feel insecure about this, and that is similar to a previous experience I have. When I was younger I had a very manipulative friend, who, in hindsight, gaslighted me, and that fucked me up a bit at the time. However, I don’t think anything dnp has done is anywhere near that experience and it hasn’t affected me outside of the context of dnp. It’s just similar mechanisms at work (starting to question your own memory, your ability to make reasonable conclusion etc.).
I’m not to serious about it though, and I don’t think it’s happening today, but I think it very much affect the relationship between dnp and the phandom and I find the dynamics of this very interesting.
Just to be clear, I really don’t blame Dan and/or Phil. I think they did what they did out of fear (or something like that), and it was a reaction that I can sympathize with.
Edit: I also, perhaps hypocritically, agree with what captainspacecoat said on the topic.
captainspacecoat wrote:@twix thank you for your very succinct and well-worded definition of gas lighting! I think it gets thrown around a lot quite casually, when it is a word that actually refers to very serious emotional abuse. Phil claiming to sleep in his own bedroom is objectively not gas lighting, and while I understand the frustration that comes with the somewhat 'one step forward two steps back' narrative of dnp, it is ultimately just a justified attempt at maintaining privacy, and is not in any way malicious or calculated.
Thanks. I don't know, it really upsets me when people criticise Dan and Phil for "lying" or even worse things when they're trying to protect the little privacy they have. The thing is, it doesn't really matter where Phil sleeps or whether or not they're together. They're giving us the narrative they want people to believe and I think we have to accept that. That doesn't mean that speculating or assuming isn't okay but I think being angry with them for not "telling the truth" is just going too far.
000dia000 wrote:I don't know how the board game discussion has turned this place against each other, you'd think this would unify IDB but noooo still bickering like children. Just be happy with what you got. I like the board game "proof", sometimes you need something positive to kick you in the right direction and make you feel a lot more certain with yourself. I know some people are very resolute with their phan beliefs, but I'm not. Sorry guys. I'm just that insecure and been gas-lit so much, that the board game lit a fire beneath me and now I'm on board with phan. And now I'm made to feel bad for using the board game as a confirmation? Leave me alone
I didn't mean to upset anyone with my "spon" theory but tbh, I don't see why one farfetched theory is okay because it's fun whilst another theory that points out more context isn't. Like, maybe I'm reading too much into this right now (sorry if I am, but I thought I'd respond before I'm secretly salty about it for no reason, lol) but I don't think anyone who doesn't believe a board game can be taken as confirmation of a relationship was trying to make anyone here feel bad or ruin the fun or anything. This is a discussion forum after all. (Also I don't think boardgame discourse is the worst we've had. #cardboardgate)
Regarding mental health discussions - yeesh, no wonder dan is hesitant about making any sort of video on the topic. It's so sensitive for everyone involved. Obviously none of us know what dan has experienced, so if he revealed he had actually been diagnosed with a disorder, any video would be much more meaningful to me. But, I guess personally, I don't know what constitutes mental health issues? Disorders of course count, but everyone has times where they are very stressed, unhappy or anxious, so where is the line between "feeling bad" and "mental health issue"? I don't know if it would be right of him to talk about his experiences with despair and anxiety that come from his position as a youtuber and call it "mental health issues". (Which is what I imagine he deals with, totally a hypothesis, but I would be interested in hearing him talk about that) I guess to me it's just a lot more weight behind the words "mental health", a lot more implications of disease and disorder, rather than just not being in a great frame of mind or feeling bad. idk y'all, maybe my perception of the phrase is wrong.
QuiteFriendly wrote: Thu Sep 07, 2017 11:22 am
Like, it was stupid to have made the conclusion (back in 09-10) that they were together and, by the way, everything you remember is wrong too.
What do you mean by "everything you remember is wrong"?
Loafer wrote: Thu Sep 07, 2017 12:31 pm
I guess to me it's just a lot more weight behind the words "mental health", a lot more implications of disease and disorder, rather than just not being in a great frame of mind or feeling bad. idk y'all, maybe my perception of the phrase is wrong.
Personally I feel like the term 'mental health' does not solely refer to mental illnesses, it refers to a person's emotional wellbeing at any given time. When I experience stress about uni assignments, for example, my mental health is poor, but this is not necessarily a symptom of mental illness. Everybody experiences issues with their mental health at different points in their life, but not everybody experiences mental illness. As such, regardless of whether or not Dan has an actual diagnosable mental illness, he has without a doubt experienced ups and downs with his mental health and could definitely make a video about that (experience with stress, for example, could be something a lot of people might relate to).
(I would add though that I don't think it's a stretch to argue that given the way Dan has discussed mental health in live shows this year he very well may suffer from mental illness. Just because he has never explicitly said so doesn't mean that he isn't suffering, and I think it would be a disservice to him to presume that he wouldn't know what he's talking about regarding mental illness. Of course, it's literally none of our business and I'm not trying to make assumptions about his mental health, it just bothers me when people disregard everything he's said about anxiety, as well as what I personally read as implications that he may have experience with depression. Again, I'm certainly not trying to diagnose him as that's not my place at all, I just think that we shouldn't outright assume either way that he has or hasn't experienced mental illness, and we also shouldn't dismiss the very real statements he has made about mental health as just jokes or exaggerations.)
dontpanic wrote: Thu Sep 07, 2017 6:40 am
I’ve always just imagined/assumed that Dan would make a “mental health” video in the sense that he would talk about the more relatable, self-care-y type things, rather than mental health disorders… like talking about feeling anxious rather than talking about anxiety.
[offtopic] from what I’ve noticed over the years younger people, especially on tumblr, tend to use the idea of depression and anxiety as a way to put a name to their feelings, when really what they’re experiencing is just puberty. Puberty sucks, with all its mood swings and wonky hormones, high school sucks, being dependent on parents when all you want to do is find your own identity sucks. It’s easier to self-diagnose yourself with depression because then you have a clear cut label to an otherwise messy situation. not all the time, sometimes it is simply a disorder, I’m just saying this is one explanation for the rise in self-diagnosing and the romanticizing mental health disorders.
[/offtopic]
This is actually one reason I’d like to see Dan make a video re: mental health… he always mentions how he never talked to anyone about his feelings when he was younger, which is something a lot of people can relate to. I could see him talking about those experiences and what he wish he did instead. Also, we’ve all noticed how much happier Dan’s been lately. Part of why could be because he sought out phyciatric care or therapy, idk I’m not going to armchair diagnose, but I’d bet my bottom dollar part of this change came from bettering the cliched term “self-care.” A video on that could be good as well.
gohomohowell wrote: Wed Sep 06, 2017 8:59 pm
[Offtopic]though, i have to say, about the mental health video... part of me is very anxious because i'm not sure he will talk about therapy in a video like that. i mean, CHYPS (free mental healthcare for youth) in the uk is crap. absolutely crap. as in, you're left with attempting before they'll offer you any support. and maybe he never needed the service when he was under 18/has always gone privately which is a bit?? i mean, most people can't afford private therapy at £200+ a session. the majority of his fanbase are young and don't have the money to pay for it, you know. and it's not good to promote going to CHYPS either because he wouldn't/might know the service does a lot more harm than good. [/Offtopic]
I understand what you mean by this, but tbh I think it would be a good idea for him to mention therapy in a video like this. There’s quite the stigma regarding therapy, especially as a young person because no one wants to ask their parents to let them see a therapist… unless you’re bffs with your ‘rents it would be an awkward, uncomfortable conversation. Sure, some people can’t afford private therapy, I couldn’t even afford a second pair of shoes growing up, but a lot of families can… this year I finally got healthcare (yay!) and even though it’s pretty shitty it still covers up to 30 therapy sessions with a $40 copay, and psychiatric care (with certain doctors) for $40 copay. Middle class families would have no problem with something like that, especially since a lot of people after a while end up visiting therapists on only a monthly basis.
Maybe only half of his under 18 audience have supportive parents with the means to pay for therapy, but that’s still enough people where his encouragement might make them feel better about having this conversation with his parents.
Additionally, I don’t know much about CHYPS so I can’t attest to that, but as far as youth/US goes, most US high schools have in-school counselors who act basically as therapists, so saying “it’s okay to seek help at places like these” would go a long way.
[offtopic]
also, as far as free clinics go, I hope he would mention something like that. Free clinics might not be good for the more common(?) mental health disorders like most stages of anxiety and depression, but for the types of disorders who are almost completely treated by medication a free clinic can be a god send. When I was 18 I had my first manic episode, and in a moment of lucidity a couple days in I went to a walk-in free clinic--they figured out it was bipolar 1 rather than schizophrenia, got me started right away on medication, and contacted my ICE (brother). I had no health insurance and 4 digits in my bank account, so it was my only option other than the ER where I would have no doubt been put on an involuntary psychiatric hold and probably misdiagnosed. had I not gone and stayed undiagnosed I would probably, according to statistics, be dead.
Anyway, the point is that usually it takes at least a month to get an entrance appointment with a psychiatrist, so again idk about CHYPS specifically, but giving correct information (that you should go to a free clinic rather than ignoring a problem) would be a very important part of a mental health video, if talking about clinical/disorder type issues. Sure only a tiny handful of viewers would ever need this information, but no one talks about these uglier disorders. A throwaway line in a stupid video might sneak into the long term memory of someone who’ll need it one day.
[/offtopic]
alittledizzy wrote: Wed Sep 06, 2017 3:59 pm
it's a full moon today and none of us know what we're doing.
You said this a few pages ago, but I have to say that this might be my favorite thing I've read all year, I have a weird urge to cross stitch this and frame it on my wall
also, Dan's tumblr queue has been fire today, I think I did every post made me laugh-by-releasing-a-quick-burst-of-air-through-my-nose.
Wow, I really enjoyed reading your perspective on it! Completely agree with a lot of points and it's made me feel a lot calmer. But just to say, there aren't really any 'free clinics' in the UK, because healthcare is already free. It's just about waiting for an appointment and it can takes years after being referred to the service - which is why many people go privately. There also are school councelers... but it's a bit hit and miss tbh, since they have to see around 30 students on the weekly, no lie. I don't know, it's not like I'm saying people shouldn't get support... or maybe I am, my cynical ass But i just want Dan to acknowledge that, you know? And not be condescending by saying "go talk to your teacher" like so many students do in the UK and get nothing back or be naive about what is really out there for families who might not be so tolerant or wealthy. I mean, bi-weekly standard sessions are alright for some, but anxiety and depression really isn't all there is and like your account, other disorders can get misdiagnosed and mistreated in our ER/NHS clinics/hospitals. Some people very early on need medication and CBT and other forms of intensive treatment, which isn't readily available.
But at the same time, I'd really like it if Dan did blow my expectations and addressed the mental healthcare system. After all, it's quite a hot topic in the UK due to budget cuts and all else. I'd like if he told us stories about struggling to find the right therapist, or affording private, or self diagnosing when he was young, all of those things that don't glamorise mental illness and the way it's treated. Because people on Tumblr - the annoying snowflakes who only self diagnose bc they want to be interesting - don't understand that it's not like the movies, people don't find you elagantly attempting in the bathtub and then send you to the best clinic of your life to be cured. It's hard and brutal and to get better, you have to want to get better so that you can fight for your rights to treatment. It'd be so important if Dan lowkey sassed that crowd or just gave them a reality check.
QuiteFriendly wrote: Thu Sep 07, 2017 11:22 am
Like, it was stupid to have made the conclusion (back in 09-10) that they were together and, by the way, everything you remember is wrong too.
What do you mean by "everything you remember is wrong"?
What did I mean? I didn't phrase that very well, did I?
I think that in 2011-2012, sometimes a felt that I was told my memories of 2009-10 was wrong, as in it wasn't enough to tell us (who were seen as shippers) that our conclusions were wrong (by other followers(subscribers/fans). But if I think about 2012 in this context, my reaction isn't that it was an awful year for me.
This is my third time trying to post this but I just disappears. Were does it go?
malday wrote: Thu Sep 07, 2017 1:29 pm
From the JLR website:
Interesting, wonder if he'll mention it later! Alice Levine co-presents Phil's (and my) favourite podcast 'My Dad Wrote a Porno' I like that Dan is an 'online star' whereas Jim Chapman is just a 'vlogger'
alittledizzy wrote: Wed Sep 06, 2017 3:59 pm
it's a full moon today and none of us know what we're doing.
You said this a few pages ago, but I have to say that this might be my favorite thing I've read all year, I have a weird urge to cross stitch this and frame it on my wall
YES. fancybum you have a way with the words, it's a joy.
I was thinking about how Dan could make a video about mental health the "right way", and came to a conclusion that the only thing I'd absolutely hate him to do would be downplaying mental illnesses such as depression, anxiety/panic disorder, agoraphobia, ocd and so on. people throw those terms around so carelessly and make jokes about
suicide
all the time while there are people who struggle to eat, leave the house and literally can't handle talking to others because of their all-consuming anxiety and overwhelming depressive episodes. I genuinely think Dan is a sensible guy, for the most part, and I hope he realizes that depression ≠ bad mood, anxiety disorder ≠ being afraid to be late for work/school and ocd is a serious disorder, not a quirk, etc, etc. other than that, he's free to do what he feels like doing, but would be nice if he mentioned therapy in some way or another. or put links in the description listing a few helpful websites/hotlines/apps. also, I really hope he and Phil will drop the "we don't go outside" branding soon, it's not cute at all, even if they say so for privacy reasons.
confusedpanda wrote: Thu Sep 07, 2017 1:08 pm
Bit off topic but uh, apparently dan did a panel for some tech fest today???
I hate the term gaslighting when it's being applied to closeted couples. Gaslighting as a phrase stems from a description of abuse and abusive behavior; a closeted person who isn't ready to come out will almost always find themselves in situations where they have to lie, and potentially lie to someone who knows that they're lying. For Dan and Phil, the issue of personal comfort and safety/security is amplified by an invasive audience and it becomes about privacy as well. They're allowed to change their minds on how much they want us to know, especially given that changing their minds came on the heels of being forcibly outed. They're allowed to feel like sharing more sometimes and less sometimes depending on the specific audience.
To shift Dan and Phil's behavior out of the realm of 'self-protection/protecting their privacy' and align it with abuse just feels so achingly unempathetic to me. It's not abuse of fans for them to make decisions for themselves above us.
DatCog wrote: Thu Sep 07, 2017 1:39 pm
Interesting, wonder if he'll mention it later! Alice Levine co-presents Phil's (and my) favourite podcast 'My Dad Wrote a Porno'
DatCog wrote: Thu Sep 07, 2017 1:39 pm
Interesting, wonder if he'll mention it later! Alice Levine co-presents Phil's (and my) favourite podcast 'My Dad Wrote a Porno'
Oh, i didn't know that!
Indeed! I've been listening to it for ages, well before Phil said that he'd listened while on the treadmill, and now I can't help think about Phil listening when there's a particularly graphic or badly written sex scene and it makes me cringe a bit . I'd love for him to talk about it more on a liveshow but I don't suppose he will any time soon.
Edited to add: I'd really love to know if Dan is a fan of the podcast too and if so, whether he chatted about it with Alice backstage
(Please keep it up though, I love floorplans.)
Thanks. I don't know, it really upsets me when people criticise Dan and Phil for "lying" or even worse things when they're trying to protect the little privacy they have. The thing is, it doesn't really matter where Phil sleeps or whether or not they're together. They're giving us the narrative they want people to believe and I think we have to accept that. That doesn't mean that speculating or assuming isn't okay but I think being angry with them for not "telling the truth" is just going too far. 
I like that Dan is an 'online star' whereas Jim Chapman is just a 'vlogger' 
